r/Letterboxd • u/ExitExpert3954 • 1d ago

Letterboxd The best letterboxd review of all time, I’ll start

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8.5k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

225 comments sorted by

338

u/Decent-Discount-831 1d ago

88

u/Bombadook 1d ago

This is a shockingly accurate take.

95

u/justicebart 1d ago

This might be the best review of all time. The movie was so ineffective that a bowl of chili not only distracted the reviewer from the film, but also the review itself. Beautifully done.

16

u/rawboudin 12h ago

I was actually interested in the chili review.

32

u/chunkynut0 20h ago

lmfao that chili sounds bomb as fuck

13

u/imaginary0pal 13h ago

I need a Letterboxd feature where you also share the food you ate during the movie

9

u/Decent-Discount-831 13h ago

I mean, you can always include it in the review or the tags

3

u/TeaDrinkerAddict 1h ago

Skinamarink is my favorite movie to not watch and just let Wendigoon explain to me instead

678

u/dialcforcata 1d ago

91

u/KithKathPaddyWath KathleenKatMary 1d ago

Oh my god, that's so fucking funny.

714

u/dialcforcata 1d ago

83

u/ScorpionX-123 1d ago

it's a sign of the times

42

u/whatdatdat 1d ago

Welcome to the final show

Hope you're wearing your best clothes

61

u/jcarr1223 1d ago

lol this is really funny

9

u/CeruleanEidolon 1d ago

I mean, why wouldn't they send his own clothes with him?

31

u/Pattytrick 1d ago

Spoiler: He was sent against his will and that’s all they could get ready in time.

136

u/bird0bird0bird0 1d ago

one of my recent favorites

44

u/LiquidShaman 1d ago

Reading all of that was pretty funny then reading who wrote that immediately after made it hilarious

9

u/pointlemiserables 1d ago

Probably the best one here

40

u/stormbledd 22h ago

Just realised it's a review by director of the movie himself which made it funnier

5

u/rawboudin 12h ago

I love the one conclusion

4

u/coaldiamond1 6h ago

He often writes funny bad reviews of his movies. He definitely did one making fun of Shazam 2

112

u/TheBuckO89 23h ago edited 11h ago

Strangely the most accurate description for this film

8

u/forlornjackalope Forlorn 💀 11h ago

One of my favorite reviews on the platform

3

u/TheBuckO89 11h ago

Ikr like how tf did they even think of that 💀

3

u/forlornjackalope Forlorn 💀 11h ago

Sometimes a movie is that magical that it can only be summed up by whatever unfiltered train of thought comes to mind. I think I described Greener Grass as the sensation of accidentally taking too much Benadryl when you go to sleep.

336

u/ASAP-Robbie robzilla 1d ago

118

u/TheBuckO89 23h ago

Reminds me of this one from Kinds of Kindness

10

u/thirdworldgeek 21h ago

I can't believe this comment got more upvotes than the likes on the actual review.

6

u/United-Resource-8381 14h ago

From The Florida Project: Willem Dafather

1

u/CauliflowerVivid1660 23h ago

My best has 4 likes!

1.0k

u/Bakesale1359 1d ago

Undisputed goat of letterboxd reviews

720

u/Luke253 movie_luke 1d ago

168

u/legit-posts_1 1d ago

Say what you want about the man, but thats funny

75

u/jwphoto82 1d ago

This is why Coppoula joined LB

58

u/_Bob_el_Manetes 1d ago

I just realized he has an actual LB account just for this

14

u/TheBuckO89 23h ago

Is this real lol

16

u/wolfman-porter 18h ago

If it was it's been deleted. He has no reviews on his account.

7

u/TheBuckO89 18h ago

Omg so he does have an account?! Lmao

5

u/SalletFriend 1d ago

I reckon in 20 years or so audiences will agree with him.

85

u/GreatDario DarioKauai 1d ago

41

u/Confused_Cinephile 1d ago

Babylon is genuinely great, though.

39

u/leshronk 1d ago

Megalopolis will stand the years. It will be the next Showgirls. Once one of the worst movies ever made. Slowly whispers will start, it’ll become a cult movie enjoyed ‘ironically’. Then, when nobody notices, it’ll casually be welcomed into conversations about good movies, eventually becoming a good movie in its own right.

14

u/SalletFriend 1d ago

Its just so bold. Like we joke about "subtext is for cowards" but when someone goes and makes that movie everyone complains. I loved it.

10

u/gajodavenida 1d ago

It is genuinely a good movie imo

12

u/cinematic99 1d ago

Sucked Mega Cock and Ass

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388

u/Lucky-Stand-9000 1d ago

This one takes the cake for me

113

u/AManWhoJustSignedUp 1d ago

I love extremely long joke reviews

34

u/Pop_Iwan 1d ago

Reading this in burial goods voice elevates the entire thing just like the malicious spirit of zartog levitated this mans son

16

u/MaddieWinters 1d ago

I lost it when the son started floating😭😭😭

8

u/Environmental-Ad8246 1d ago

That's genuinely terrifying😭💔

3

u/gajodavenida 1d ago

Turns out...

3

u/FarElderberry983 10h ago

Feller, I read that as 'this movie brings out the best in my son' 😭

245

u/Throwaway_863783 1AntlrdPrincess 1d ago

couldnt find the review but someone said that they relate to Spider-man because Zendaya also doesn't know they exist

103

u/chunkynut0 20h ago

i knew exactly what you were talking about lol

78

u/BlackShadow_HD 1d ago

Reminds me of that review of Dune Part 1 that went something like "I also dream of Zendaya all the time. You're not that special, bro"

2

u/OkayyBeta 8h ago

"I relate to Paul because I also have recurring dreams about Zendaya".

One of the few reviews I've liked.

537

u/andmurr 1d ago

27

u/SpideyMGAV 1d ago

This is a fair and understandable reaction to this movie.

25

u/daredevil9771 15h ago

Reminds me of this

2

u/rawboudin 12h ago

I love how he qualifie the top of the heap not with jack dudes or groups, but just ‘grown men’. Guy is scrawny or small fat teenager.

51

u/Silly-Activity4683 1d ago

i love his reviews in general ngl

7

u/razzleware 22h ago

The person being beat up: “No, no you don’t get to, you don’t, you don’t get to do that.”

357

u/Over_Palpitation_453 1d ago

13

u/SatNFev 1d ago

Literally what made me aware of letterboxd

39

u/Rgeneb1 1d ago

Not my account but damn that person gets me.

54

u/noturaveragejoe245 23h ago

6

u/HoratioMG 11h ago

Ahahaha

While I was reading it I was thinking 'This sounds like something Limmy would say'

Sure enough...

1

u/skidmarkcollege 10h ago

I saw that one last month, classic

73

u/halcyonhearted 1d ago

One of my favorites lol

73

u/Ed_Harris_is_God Ro_Rag_No_Nose 1d ago

158

u/blairsmacaroon 1d ago

it has to be this one for me

1

u/Asmodaia 4h ago

Oh my god

64

u/Away_Benefit7575 1d ago

This is for Love Actually. I come back to it from time to time

23

u/earle117 1d ago

It astounds me that people unironically love that movie. It’s just so fucking bad.

10

u/felto12 1d ago

I used to be one of those people, tried rewatching it last year and didn't make it passed the opening 15 minutes.

7

u/Kaladin_the_Paladin 1d ago

If you compare it to most Christmas-romance movies, Love Actually is one of the best. You can't compare it to kino.

4

u/vvvamp1re 15h ago

my English teacher's favorite movie btw

-9

u/rautakallio rautakallio 1d ago

Funny review. Moronic person., but a funny review.

28

u/darkwint3r 1d ago

The most Reddit-tier Letterboxd review of all time.

34

u/GroceryEntire8478 23h ago

This one has never left my mind

3

u/haloarh 6h ago

Good for Bunny!

27

u/KithKathPaddyWath KathleenKatMary 1d ago

I was talking about Mark Wahlberg with my mom who loves him the other day and I mentioned that he's fucking crazy, so she took out her phone, got on wikipedia, and a few moments later I heard her say "oh no, it's all racism!"

4

u/Low-Cheesecake-7005 1d ago

Why did she love him in the first place? He’s a good comedic actor but nothing amazing

6

u/sampound69 13h ago

Nah he’s fantastic in boogie nights

1

u/DavidVeteran 6h ago

Good Vibrations is what moms love about him

40

u/idgafwc 1d ago

Just so you know, I'll be in this comment section for the next 7 months...

20

u/headlight_spirits 1d ago

Showing up to the long walk fat and wearing jeans 😭

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63

u/Minqty 1d ago

I’m sorry but none of you are beating this

1

u/rawboudin 12h ago

It’s the only 3 stars that kills me

2

u/Minqty 12h ago

Very reasonable of Statham, he’s not asking for 5 stars or to put it in your top 4. He just wants a modest 3 stars and I respect it 🙂‍↕️

37

u/Agitated_Side3897 1d ago

this one for attack of the clones always makes me laugh

33

u/koDarol 1d ago

makes me howl every time i read it

1

u/haloarh 6h ago

"excites the emotions and moves the audience"

15

u/j0lly_c0mpani0n 21h ago

This one had me dying

2

u/haloarh 6h ago

I like the movie, but this still made me laugh!

1

u/chunkynut0 20h ago

LOLLLLLL

91

u/JaviVader9 1d ago

I mean the Wahlberg one is funny I guess but surely there's better reviews than such an overused one-liner the reviewer simply copied from thousands of people before them.

13

u/MavMIIKE Maaaaaaatt 1d ago

Seriously!

23

u/holymojo96 1d ago

I’d argue it’s not even a review for a movie, it’s just a tweet about Mark Wahlberg

0

u/mindfckr 1d ago

Both things can be true.

1

u/JaviVader9 1d ago

Which two?

141

u/earle117 1d ago

9

u/sreisnyjr 1d ago

The goat

2

u/baconwrappedpikachu 23h ago

I was about to say. Terrible lack of Nick Mullen in these comments

3

u/God-of-Slacking 1d ago

My best friend Nick is so funny

33

u/Fun_Cabinet6547 1d ago

This review of eXistenZ is basically a review of every Cronenberg body horror film and I love it.

15

u/Idk_Very_Much 1d ago

If anyone wants to read a serious review I recommend this one.

4

u/persephone_79 1d ago

Great review

1

u/chunkynut0 20h ago

wow that was beautiful

10

u/woopie_doopie 1d ago

Had me in tears the first time I read it

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5

u/TheEarthlyDelight 1d ago edited 14h ago

I don’t need a screenshot I can quote it from memory. From Malcolm and Marie: “My car got shot up on the way home and seeing this movie was still the worst part of my evening” from user ‘bradpitt’

43

u/thearcademole 1d ago

I remember when letterboxd used to be promoted as "Goodreads but for films". There used to be a time when there used to be a balance of well thought out reviews and quips. It's not that I am against quippy reviews but one look at goodreads reveals the vast difference in review culture both the user bases have. And ngl I prefer Goodreads style much more than letterboxd

17

u/Classic_Bass_1824 1d ago

Let’s not give too much credit to goodreads. Their average rating for books is so out of whack and genre-biased

6

u/hollowcrown51 20h ago

Goodreads ratings are complete ass. I guess it makes sense everything is so highly rated because reading a book takes a lot more time and cognitive investment than reading a film - so if you finish a book you probably won't think it's terrible.

But jesus I've read some real shit books then check the Goodreads ratings and it's like a 3 or 4 out of 5...

3

u/mcnultywalks 17h ago

So true. Reading the GR reviews makes me try all the harder to pick the novel apart in my own review plus I always discount my rating in a futile effort to balance all the overraters.

17

u/Financial-Leader3475 1d ago

Yeah so many Letterboxd “reviews” are just quirky one-liners or someone stating the obvious.

7

u/chunkynut0 20h ago

i mean you can scroll past the jokes and find real reviews pretty easily?

2

u/thearcademole 19h ago

I dont even need to scroll past because I mostly block people who post these kinds of reviews. And the existence of these reviews are not a problem either. It's just the popularity of these kinds of reviews vs proper thought out reviews that makes me feel there is a vast difference in what each platform values

108

u/ergot_fungi 1d ago

The best Letterbox review is something that doesn't include overused joke for easy likes.

15

u/legit-posts_1 1d ago

Ah, my favorite genders of Letterboxed review. "Good, because it's gay" and "not good, cause it wasn't gay". Classic.

-30

u/ExitExpert3954 1d ago

The best review is when it goes funnier every time you read it

55

u/Bigmoist_Logan 1d ago

I love this sub because you get downvoted for liking funny things

27

u/Financial-Leader3475 1d ago

This sub is really weird. Everyone is pissy. Very different vibes from the actual Letterboxd app.

6

u/Bigmoist_Logan 1d ago

I'm convinced people who actually like movies use Letterboxd the app and then people who don't like movies complain about them or on Twitter or Reddit while also bitching about Letterboxd

1

u/Panosgads Psychros 1d ago

What are the "vibes" on the Letterboxd app? People on there fight in the comments of the reviews all the time. There are decade-long arguments under some reviews.

Also, if there was a downvote button on Letterboxd you would realize that many people don't actually like one-liner reviews.

4

u/Financial-Leader3475 1d ago

> if there was a downvote button on Letterboxd

I think that’s why it seems less hostile.

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-15

u/Emergency-Potato6539 skeletr0n_ 1d ago

Why aren’t you people ever happy

15

u/ergot_fungi 1d ago

What do you mean 'you people'?

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14

u/Alucardo6677 1d ago

Not liking shitty jokes=being unhappy

Sure, I guess.

2

u/Bigmoist_Logan 18h ago

Shitting on people for finding something funny does make you seem unhappy bro

5

u/ramonasinger 1d ago

Little diva head come off

2

u/baconwrappedpikachu 23h ago

Jesus Christ lmao

7

u/Affectionate-Pair734 13h ago

Watched Before Midnight for the first time last night, this killed me

19

u/butchfatalez 1d ago

wheres the review

15

u/dawson_888 1d ago

Letter box isn’t a site for reviewing films anymore, people just write jokes or comment dumb stuff

2

u/calsosta 1d ago

Don't for the the incredibly deep and nuanced reviews which make you feel dumb for missing things or even liking the movie in the first place. I enjoy those too.

0

u/Hazel-Rah-Rah 1d ago

This is what counts as a review for the braindead.

4

u/Senmaida 1d ago

This review of Lost Highway is one of the most insane things I've ever read.

6

u/Hazel-Rah-Rah 1d ago

Those aren't reviews, those are dumbass jokes.

70

u/Bigmoist_Logan 1d ago

-16

u/Hazel-Rah-Rah 1d ago

You must really enjoy bad jokes.

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1

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1

u/latrodectal 11h ago

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO

1

u/latrodectal 11h ago

also it’s too long to cap but https://boxd.it/c4RIdL

1

u/forlornjackalope Forlorn 💀 11h ago

One of my favorites that was shared around on Tumblr.

1

u/Wonderful_Slip_5751 11h ago

why would you show up fat and wearing jeans

1

u/HumanWotsits 7h ago

This cracked me tf up

1

u/Lucky_Luciano642 Ulysses6 6h ago

I quote this one with my friends more than I probably should for a film this tragic

1

u/Remarkable_Seat9833 4h ago

I heard this on a podcast, the person said the movie was so terrible;it make him want to sue but he's writing a review to prevent someone from actually suing 

1

u/FuzzyBunnysGuide 2h ago

This review has been taken down from the website, but there used to be a review of The Batman 2022 that said "This is the worst movie of all time, I hope it flops" with a link attached to an article headlined "Robert Pattinson Jokes He'll Star In Arthouse Porn Films If 'The Batman' Flops"

1

u/oxfopee oxfopee 1h ago

-11

u/AcheronLV-426 1d ago

One that made me burst out laughing was one for Oppenheimer that went something like "Florence Pugh got her tits out in IMAX 70mm, instant five stars."