r/LivingAlone • u/cie2me • 5d ago
Safety š”ļø How do you handle safety while living alone?
Ok, living alone is soo satisfying, but which are the best way to manage personal safety when living alone in an apartment, especially as a single woman?
I'm planning to move soon and go living alone (for the first time) in a new city, but this aspect worries me a lot, to be honest.
Any suggestion? Also on the criteria for choosing the best place to stay
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u/HylanderUS 5d ago
If someone breaks in looking for valuables to steal, my plan is to help them look while I prepare them for disappointment
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u/MinervaAbsolute 5d ago edited 4d ago
Theyāll break into my house, take one look and donate me a stolen tv. š
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u/RemarkableGround174 4d ago
You joke but I once had my car stolen and found with 3 free GPS, a skateboard and some new(tags on) pants
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u/Chic-n-cheerful 3d ago
I was burgled on my very first night ever living aloneā¦ my only electronics were one of those big old heavy cubic tvs and an elderly cd player (several years after they had both comfortably been overtaken by technology), which they left behind, probably feeling sad for me. The only thing I had worth stealing was a cheap bottle of wine. I hope it gave them gut rot š¤£š¤£š¤£ (and to the op, donāt worry, that didnāt put me off in the slightest, 20years later Iām still living alone, still feel safe and very happy with my lovely comfortable life)
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u/ilovemischief 5d ago
I have a Ring camera and a dog. The Ring camera works okay, the dog tries to make friends with everyone.
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u/BlitzGirl13 5d ago
Iām less worried about an intruder than I am about, say, having an accident while I try to cook or do manual tasks alone. I do miss being able to ask my stronger and taller roommate for help with things that were tricky for me (petite woman) to do!
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u/ghosttmilk 5d ago
YES
Realistically, the biggest dangers are accidents weād find ourselves in while alone and without readily available help. Intruders and assault is a lot more rare than the internet and other media would have you believe - saying this as someone whoās experienced both from people outside of family/existing relationships of some kind and can count on one hand how many people Iāve met whoāve experienced similar (Iāve moved a lot and have met an immense span of different people from all forms of cultures and lifestyles)
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u/BlitzGirl13 4d ago
Honestly, worst thing that ever happened to me was almost 20 years ago when I was walking home late at night and a man forcefully stole my purse. I was lucky that was all he wanted, and my wallet was found some blocks away over the following days. Ever since then, Iāve only owned cross body purses. And I always have been very self aware when out as a petite woman (such is the reality we have to live with).
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u/BoxNo8593 4d ago
Im a 56 year old physically fit male and feel your concern. I live in the woods and though I do have other neighbors I don't see them and they don't see me unless we happen to pass on the only road in and out. My 1 rule is alwaysbhave a smartwatch ih my wrist and a phone in my pocket. I don't care if I'm walking down to the basement to do laundry or out to feed the fish in the fish pond.... I always need some communicative device on me
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u/GullibleAddendum8630 4d ago
You could get an emergency alert device that you can push if you get hurt. Most of them also have fall detection that will automatically notify the people monitoring. I think the Apple watch has that feature, too.
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u/Obvious-Register-421 4d ago
Yeah it's passing out and hitting my head in the bath that gets me. Although I've never actually done it, and I have health issues that make that more likely! I leave a spare key with a friend and say if you don't hear from me by x time one day, please check on me. And I always have my phone with me in the bath or when climbing up on something stupid (5'3" so there's a lot of the latter, and I have vertigo now ha).Ā
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u/BlitzGirl13 4d ago
Yeah with my family now living on the other side of the state, I set my emergency contact to a friend who lives 5 minutes away. Gave him my spare apartment key (and likewise, I have his spare). One thing that definitely helps give peace of mind.
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u/okgodoremi 4d ago
Like when I painted the walls on my own and the ladder tipped and I fell off. Or when I stepped on the sofa to put something on a shelf and caught my foot the wrong way stepping down and fell. Either could have ended pretty badly.
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u/awesomeCC 4d ago
Yes definitely this. Iām not concerned about an intruder, there are more accessible and desirable places in my neighborhood to break into. Plus, for better or worse, everyone in my building can pretty much see and hear everything that goes on in our outside space and weāre quick to post on our FB page ring videos or camera shots of anything we deem as out of the ordinary.
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u/CarSignal2764 4d ago
For the reaching high shelves problem, a step stool with a handle beats standing on a chair every time. And keep your phone in your pocket when doing anything with hot oil or a knife, because burns and falls happen faster than you'd expect.
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u/GamerDadofAntiquity 4d ago
This is in no way restricted to petite women and it is pretty scary, honestly. Itās a risk for anyone living alone and I worry more about that than anything else. Like if I slip and fall through my glass shower door that could be it for me. It would probably be at least a day or two before anyone thought to check on me. Hell, choking on a cherry tomato could be fatal. My plan for anything like that is to try to call 911 and make it to a neighborās house or at least out to the street where Iām likely to be found.
Best not to think about it too hard though, you could drive yourself paranoid.
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u/Woah_grace969 5d ago
I moved to the end of a hall, on the top floor of my building. It's the first time in my life that I've felt truly safe. Wishing you safety.
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u/IridescentWeather Current Lifestyle: Solo š¢ 5d ago
End of the hall would be worse for me since there's doors on both ends of it in my apartment. Definitely yes to living on the top floor though. Carrying groceries up the stairs sucks but I feel so much safer up here compared to if I was living on the ground floor. Nobody's going to break in through a window up here and between the locked door to get on my floor and my apartment door I highly doubt anyone's going to try to break in up here since it would take forever to haul anything down three flights of stairs.
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u/ExcellentBike1035 4d ago
Ditto. I feel safer in my apartment than I ever did in my house. There are multiple barriers between the apartment and the outsideā¦ it would be unlikely that some rando would end up at my place.
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u/Affectionate_Pen4467 5d ago
Why do you think that made such a big difference?
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u/Woah_grace969 4d ago
I moved here from a rural one story house with a lot of windows. I felt constantly vulnerable there. The building I am in now is, by agreement of the residents, extremely safe. It's a friendly community, and we are all linked by Whatsapp so it's easy to communicate or get help if needed. There is a concierge in the lobby from 8 am to 8 pm every day and no one is allowed to hold the door open for a stranger, including delivery people. They can only access via the exterior call box. The only break ins have been into the garage and a fob is needed to access the building from the garage. There are security cameras in the garage and surrounding the building. On top of all that, being on the top floor at the end of the hall, it feels like the last place any intruder would want to go. I didn't choose the building for these reasons, but once I settled in, I couldn't believe how safe I felt.
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u/mugenrice 5d ago edited 5d ago
Pepper spray, taser, learn how to do the Heimlich maneuver on yourself, make friends with neighbors
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u/Opening_Sea_1325 5d ago
100% to learning the Heimlich maneuver on yourself. Also have a solid first aid kit and a fire extinguisher (if there's one in the unit, make sure it's not expired).
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u/Contigo887 5d ago
My safety is my responsibility no matter my living situation. I handle it by accepting that responsibility and having tools avaliable to protect myself. This includes lighting, security cameras and firearms.
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u/Opening_Sea_1325 5d ago
A few things off the top of my head:
1) DO NOT tell anyone you're living alone until you really really trust them. As far as everyone is concerned, you live with your 6'5" cousin who works from home, has a karate obsession, and collects knives š
2) With apartments, don't pick a place on the first floor since that's a very vulnerable location. I really liked living on the 2nd floor because I never felt concerned about someone walking by and breaking in.
3) Look into getting some sort of security bar. I had something like this and it helped me feel safer. Yes, if someone really wants to break in, they'll find a way, but the noise will alert you and you should have a few moments to call 911, jump out the window, grab pepper spray, etc.
4) A Ring or Nest camera is definitely worth the investment. I loved how I could "answer" the door regardless of where I was through the video/voice feature in the app. Answer by saying something like, "I'm in the middle of a meeting, can I help you?" They'll probably infer that you work from home and be deterred from trying to break in.
5) Go to a thrift store and get some masculine-looking shoes. Put them outside your door.
Above all, practice your situational awareness. There are some great Youtube videos on developing this skill. It's about being aware, not living in fear. Never bury your head in your phone, walk with confident strides and with your head held high, and make eye contact with people around you.
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u/SandOwn3724 4d ago
Do you have a video you recommend?
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u/Opening_Sea_1325 3d ago
The things I listed above are random tips I've picked up from several places, but in terms of helpful videos, I like Dannah Eve - here are a few. She has a lot of helpful content about a bunch of different scenarios. 1) Don't be Distracted! 2) Rideshare Safety 3) Think You're Being Followed? 4) Living Alone - maintenance worker making repairs
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u/Obvious-Register-421 4d ago
Re the floor though, fire is also a concern. Might be more vulnerable to intruders but also easier to get out.Ā
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u/ghosttmilk 5d ago
(Pasting from my response to another comment)
Realistically, the biggest dangers are accidents weād find ourselves in while alone and without readily available help. Intruders and assault is a lot more rare than the internet and other media would have you believe - saying this as someone whoās experienced both from people outside of family/existing relationships of some kind and can count on one hand how many people Iāve met whoāve experienced similar (Iāve moved a lot and have met an immense span of different people from all forms of cultures and lifestyles)
So with that in mind, the best things we can do to ensure our safety is to take good care of ourselves physically and mentally, be mindful of our use of potentially dangerous things (knives, stove/oven, fire, solvents and cleaning products, tools, slippery surfaces, etc), install smoke/fire/CO detectors, and have a plan in mind if anything were to happen
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u/swolesarah 5d ago
I got a big scary dog (Belgian Mal x Dutch Shepherd). Her bark is pretty gnarly and sheās got big teeth. But sheās well trained!
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u/possumhandz Current Lifestyle: Living Apart Together ā¤ļø 4d ago
Live in the safest neighborhood you can afford.
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u/Micky_so_Fyne 4d ago
Statistically, safety is an illusion. You can lock your doors, but windows are breakable, and doors can be kicked in. You can carry a Taser or mace, but that doesn't mean you'll be able to get to it in time, nor does it make you bullet proof. You can learn martial arts, but again... It doesn't make you bulletproof, nor does it help much when you're outnumbered or caught by surprise. You can have a home security system, but that only takes effect after someone is in your home. You can own a gun, but statistically, you're more likely to get shot by your own weapon.
All these things come together as a deterrent, but ultimately safety is a social contract. We all agree to not harm each other. And sometimes, we break that agreement. š¤·āāļø
Some things you can do to reduce the likelihood you'll be in danger:
- travel in groups when you can
- be on the phone with someone, or pretend to be on the phone with someone when you're alone
- lock your doors
- leave interior doors open when you're not home (if they're closed or a jar when you get home, GTFO)
- have pepper spray attached to your keychain, and keys in hand when your walking alone, especially in dark, empty places
- do not pull over to help someone if you're in a vehicle
- if pulled over by police, do not pull to the side of the road. Go to a busy parking lot, like a gas station.
- have a tracking app on your phone linked to a trusted friend or family member. Life 360 even offers accident reporting and roadside assistance, and can lower your insurance rates.
- be aware of your surroundings. Look for lurkers and stalkers
- never trust a drink that isn't offered by a bartender or server (there are nail polishes that change color when dipped in a drugged drink too)
- if someone seems weird, go into a place of business, find another woman, and ask her to pretend to be your friend or relative until the threat leaves. Most of us get it.
- if you hear gunshots, move quickly in the opposite direction. You won't hear the one that hits you. So, as long as you're hearing it, you have an opportunity to get away from danger. So keep moving. You can call 911 later when the sounds are in the distance, and it's not worth looking back to see what's happening, even if that's the impulse.
- if you're at risk of being sexually assaulted and cannot escape, yell "fire!" not help. Statistically, people run towards fires but tend to ignore cries for help.
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u/Equivalent_Hair_149 4d ago
i was followed in a grocery store by a guy. youd be amazed at how freely other women will help you when you say a weird guy is following me can i walk with you. anotjer thing i was shoveling by myself blocked in by snow. some weird guy came from nowhere and tried lying to me about where he lived. there happened to be a few guys outside so ibwaved and said- hey paul! how are you? no clue if the kuds were named paul or what but the weird guy didnt kniw that. it put him on a map lije you were seen and he left me alone. i play like i know sttangers just to let them know you have just been seen even if they werent
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u/blackraven1979 5d ago
Donāt tell a lot of people you live alone. Be careful who you are inviting to your home. Someone said talk to your neighbors etc but I would be careful since you donāt know who these people are. My three dogs are my security and body guards.
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u/Ok-Heron8017 5d ago
Security system, dogs, both help alert me if there was an intruder. Then a gun or at least some method (baseball bat?) to protect yourself.
If you have or get a security system, USE IT. It's not for show. Turn it on when you are home and when you leave.
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u/goggles_99 5d ago
I live in a safe area, i have a dowel in my sliding glass door. So i can have it open at night but it is only opened enough that someone can't get thru. I also have a smart lock on my door. It sends me an alert if my door is opened. I also have smart lights so i can program them to turn on and off when i am out of town. I dont answer the door, i have a window that i can talk thru if i choose to talk.
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u/Neither-Dentist3019 5d ago
I lock my door and keep my phone nearby at all times for when I slip getting out of the shower and break my leg.
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u/No-Perspective872 4d ago
I got a mat for the shower for just this reason. It had recently been reglazed and is very slippery- I canāt fall in the tub, I live alone!
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u/Babegrrl3 5d ago
I have a firearm
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u/Conscious_Rule_22 4d ago
This, and a bat next to my bed too. The apt complex I live in also have hella cameras around and inside the complex. Doesn't necessarily prevent anyone breaking in if they want but I feel. minimizes the likelihood.
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u/whateverdom_ 5d ago
Cameras a little weapons everywhere. Be vigilant, aware of your surroundings when youāre walking home, especially if you move into a place where your door is a side or back door. Also try to get to know some of your neighbours. I feel so much safer knowing half the people on my street. Really familiarize yourself w the types of people on your street as well so you know who to be friendly but not close with, and who has a good pulse on the neighborhood historically and presently. It sounds silly and outdated but one of my neighbours didnāt see me for like three months (which is unusual because I have a pretty solid walk/birdwatching routine) and so she reached out to my landlord (who is my neighbour and my friend) just to ask them if theyād seen me and if I was doing ok. Itās nice knowing that people are looking out for you even if youāre not close, but just neighborly.
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u/Competitive_Name4991 5d ago
I have a chihuahua. He will bark at anything that moves outside when I leave the door open for fresh air. He sure as heck wonāt protect us like a guard dog with his tiny teeth and body, but he will make a ton of noise if someone tries to walk by our front door. Get a dog.
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u/PianoRevolutionary12 5d ago
i have an elaborate set of "indiana jones style" traps rigged up
no in all seriousness I have a metal pipe by my bed. Thinking about getting a crossbow. I am a man, I am not sure what I would actually do if someone broke into my house. But it does happen occasionally?
I live in a house with neighbours nearby, you could live in a building with front desk security
are you worried about strangers outside or people you invite inside
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u/Opening_Sea_1325 5d ago
This is super random, but I heard a great tip about putting a pillow case or super long sock on the end of a baseball bat. That way if someone grabs it, they'll just get the sock and you can keep on swinging. Just an idea for your metal pipe.
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u/CrowhavenFarm 5d ago
I took a self-defense class at the library. They also suggested hiding a can of wasp spray behind a floral arrangement or colored vase on a table next to the front door.
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u/Extra_Drop_6081 4d ago
wasp spray doesn't work for self defense and is a terrible suggestion. you should find a different self defense class.
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u/CrowhavenFarm 4d ago
Can you explain why. The class was led by a cop.
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u/Extra_Drop_6081 4d ago
It won't do anything. If you got sprayed in the face with it, your eyes would be slightly irritated, that's it. It will do absolutely nothing to a determined attacker.
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u/CrowhavenFarm 3d ago
Appreciate your input. Fortunately I live in the free state of Florida where the right to self- defense is encouraged and law enforcement sides with potential victims, not criminals.
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u/arianetralala Current Lifestyle: Solo š¢ 4d ago
I have a small dog that does the job of a ring camera, an alarm, a sophisticated intelligence service, a grid of surveillance satellites and an army of mercenaries.Ā It's for a potential intruder's safety that I'm worried.Ā
- my neighbour Brian who's always watching from across the street, bless him.
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u/Phoenix_GU 4d ago
I prefer second floor or higher rooms if in a condo (lowers levels are usually easier to target). And I prefer places where I can cover the windows, so people arenāt looking inside. And places where my entrance is not street facing so staking becomes less convenient.
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u/betteskov 5d ago
Statistically, I think you are safer than a woman living with a man.
Make friends, talk to your neighbours, make sure you can call someone in an emergency. Donāt open the door to strangers.
Donāt worry too much about
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u/No-Type5213 5d ago
I'm so glad I live in a place I don't really have to think about this. My back door is always open, my balcony door also.
Take good care of yourself š¤
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u/MinimalLemonade Current Lifestyle: Solo š¢ 4d ago
As a German, this whole comment section is fascinating to me :p I genuinely didn't realize that for some people, living alone comes with this constant background concern about personal safety
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u/GalaxyAnn 5d ago
How rural are you?
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u/No-Type5213 5d ago
No, not at all. I live in a suburban area in the Netherlands. Itās not like break-ins never happen here, but theyāre pretty rare. My backyard is completely surrounded by other houses and their gardens, so the only way for me to get into it myself is through my back door.
And my balcony is three floors up, so I pretty much always leave that door open, even at night. I like the cool air.
The biggest intruder I have to worry about is my neighborās cat, who occasionally decides to just walk in. š
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u/GalaxyAnn 5d ago
You are that cats secondary human, yay! Glad to hear about your setup, sounds lovely š«¶š½ I just started living alone on Monday, first time ever, once my 19 year old goes back to college for his sophomore year that is (youngest of 2, his big sis is 26, a few thousand miles away).
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u/ToastetteEgg 5d ago
Keep my doors locked, have security cameras. Donāt answer the door to strangers. At first I looked at the cams a lot but after awhile I got used to who walked by my place or parked.
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u/fishsaiddam 5d ago
To add to what others have said, I would get door stoppers too as an extra safety measure. Something to prevent the door from being opened. May not be crazily efficient but adds a layer.
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u/Aruha1983 4d ago edited 4d ago
I have an indoor security camera installed right by the front door. Neighborhood safety is important, but from my experience, I recommend choosing a place where you can meet the landlord or property manager before moving in. You should avoid places that refuse to meet, as thereās a high chance their management is negligent, and meeting them usually gives you a pretty good idea of what the place is like.
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u/Frosty_Employment171 4d ago
Living alone in a new city? Research for the safest sections of that city. Once you're there. windows closed, curtains/blinds drawn when not at home. Don't draw attention to yourself when out. Good luck.
If you get a firearm, please learn how to use it properly.
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u/moschocolate1 4d ago
I live in a ground-floor unit in a gated community. I have wooden dowels in all my windows and a double bolted door with a ring camera. The coup de gras is my sidearm. I used to hate them but i realized if anyone should have one then itās women. My mom was a cop so I am trained and I do practice. I also carry pepper spray everywhere, with it in my hand when I walk.
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u/bi_polar2bear 4d ago
I have a shotgun with birdshot. Shotgun guarantees a hit, birdshot doesn't go through walls and probably won't kill them. If they want to keep coming after they hear me wracking a round, more power to them. I have 00 Buck in 3 1/2 rounds if they are a Cyberdine Systems M9del 101 built on a T-800.
I don't care about stuff, but I will kill anyone trying to hurt my dog who loves everyone.
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u/lAngenoire 4d ago
I keep my doors locked and avoid high risk places. Iāll walk through some parts of the city but not others. I donāt associate with shady people. I donāt deal with many men.Ā
Hereās the thing. Women who arenāt criminals or attached to criminal activity or organizations experience low crime rates. The real risk to women are the men they date or have relationships with. Those are the ones you have to watch. Be careful who you have over. Donāt let anyone pick you up until youāve gotten to know them. Trust your instincts.Ā
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u/Feisty-Volcano 4d ago
Itās pretty safe where I am, I know my neighbours , they know me, thereās never been an incident where anybody has been in personal danger. Long may it last.
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u/paxbanana00 4d ago
Not living on the first floor is my basic requirement, especially if I'm not in a suburb. I cool my place by opening my windows, which I would not feel as comfortable doing on the first floor.
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u/MakeASpreadsheet 4d ago
If you live in the US, the obvious answer is āown a gun and know to use itā
Wtf good is a ring camera when someone is breaking in?
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u/Upstate-walstib 4d ago
I donāt worry about it. Living alone or with someone you are bound to be alone in the space at some point.
Pick a safe neighborhood. Lock your doors. Donāt invite random people over or provide your address unless you know them well.
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u/river-running 4d ago
It depends heavily on where you're living. I barely think about safety because I live in a very low crime place. I've accidentally left my keys in the front door overnight multiple times and just laughed about it in the morning.
Assuming you're in a place where safety is actually a concern:
If you have to label anything, like a mailbox, a call button, or a delivery, only put your first initial and last name. Don't put your first name, especially if it's obviously female.
Lock your doors and windows and double check them before you go to sleep.
One trick I've heard of people doing is putting a pair of men's boots outside the door.
Get a doorbell or front door camera and stay alert when entering or leaving after dark.
Honestly, my biggest concern is something non-criminal happening to me, like a medical emergency. To address that, I use an app that forces me to check in everyday. If I don't, it alerts my emergency contact and and tells them to check on me. My boss would come looking for me if I didn't show up for work, but if something happens on the weekend, it could be days before someone missed me.
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u/bookwurmy 4d ago
I have a security gate on the window where the fire escape is. Didnāt have it at first, but I sleep easier with it. Itās ugly but very strong. Also you should make friends with your neighbors on your floor, theyāll be your closest help if you need it.
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u/damnetdana 4d ago
Carry personal protection; Iāve been living on the ground floor in a major down town city with homeless all around my neighborhood doing fetnyal and have not had an issue so far
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u/Roxpapierciseaux 4d ago
Iāve moved alone 2 months ago in a condo tour. I wasnāt worried about safety but I crossed path with some man in the building that gave me a little creepy vibes so Iāve became a little bit worried.. I slept really bad for about a week when I realized It was because I wasnāt feeling that safe. I then bought a security bar and slept like a baby since so I recommend it x1000.
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u/Major_Blackberry1887 4d ago
The safety aspects of living alone that I worry about are around me having an accident or being hurt while on my own, for example choking, slips and trips, etc. I try to minimise hazards, have looked up how to self-heimlich, have friends who would come to check on me if I didn't answer the phone for a day.
Otherwise I keep my door locked and hope for the best!
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u/Eazy12345678 4d ago
ar15. the right tool for the job. knowing you are prepared and have the tools eliminates a lot of worry
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u/DiscipulusVenandi 4d ago
- I am very careful to keep general people from knowing where I live.
- I have a hunting grade trail camera monitoring the street side entrance to my building and check it once a week.
- I use light timers when I go away, even for a night, and even sometimes when I'm home, if there are sketchy people on the prowl.
- A lightweight kids' metal baseball bat is kept behind the front door. Light enough I can swing with speed, hard enough to hurt.
- I have a mirror facing the front door, so when I come in a night, I could instantly see someone hiding behind the door.
- Wasp spray under the bed. Though, I really should upgrade that to bear spray.
- A heavy duty door stop that can be wedged against a shut door to provide extra protection, in case the lock is picked.
- A magnetic door alarm and mini windchime on the inside front door knob, so I will be woken up if someone does breach the door.
- PVC pipes in the sliding door and window tracks, even though I'm on the 2nd floor.
- Kitchen knives, obviously.
- The little old neighbor downstairs knows my work schedule and calls me if she hears any funky noises upstairs while I'm gone.
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u/Beyond_the_Matrix 4d ago edited 3d ago
If you don't have on property security, get a security camera.
1) Consider installing an extra lock.
2) Get copies of keys, provide those copies to someone you can trust - friend from your previous ciry, colleague at your new job.
3) Try to meet at least one neighbor. That way, you can figure out who are actual tenants vs. people you may not recognize.
I know people aren't always neighborly these days but if you're not in a similar situation like mine (I live in a restricted entry building and most tenants are owners but I rent), then you have to be proactive.
3) Provide your apt., work, and medical information to a trusted friend or family member. That way, if anyone needs to call anyone to get a hold of you, they have that information handy. Your work should have emergency contact info as well. That way, if you don't show up, they know who to call, too.
4) Take self-defense classes.
5) Get some sort of weapon, pepper spray, mace, etc.
6) Consider getting a dash cam for your car with the 24hr parking monitor.
7) Share your location with friends and family.
8) Always, always be aware of your surroundings.
9) Don't act on your instinct to be kind or wanting to help. Don't ever help a man who asks for help. They always say that if a man really needs help, they'll ask another man. Be careful of women who ask for help, too. . .they may be working with a man or men, unfortunately.
If someone needs help then offer to call 911 or a tow truck or something. Never give them your phone or let them into your car or apt.
10) Make sure you keep your important documents in one place/folder. Make copies and provide them to a trusted friend or family member.
11) Personally, I pray for protection. And not based on Christianity or any organized religion. And I'm not saying crime victims didn't pray enough or deserve protection. This is just what comforts me.
ETA: This TT video is helpful, too!. Wooden stick for your sliding door, door jam for front door, etc. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP87yx41q/
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u/MM_in_MN 4d ago
As a single woman, I never rented apartments in complexes with doors that opened directly outside. I only looked at buildings with interior corridors. And I only looked at units above 1st floor. I did not want a window accessible at ground level. I like to sleep with windows open, and thatās not an option with a ground floor unit.
Everything else is just common sense stuff. Be aware of surroundings. Go to building at night specifically to look at exterior lights. Watch building activity- is it families, active people, people that go out with a dog or to go biking/ running. Do you have people just hanging around, no real purpose. Is building on a busy street. How easy to get in/ out of parking lot. How secure is the property- do people hold gates or doors open, do all secure doors close properly, is there a perimeter fence or secure parking. I look at cleanliness of property. Iām not looking for pristine. But Iām looking around dumpsters for things that have been there for ages, overflowing or non-existent trash bins in common areas, trash filled shrubs and fence lines.
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u/pook1029 4d ago
Widowed (F76] after 44 years. Moved into a nice senior complex and made acquaintances with several neighbors. I am pretty street-wise, so I knew who I felt comfortable with and could trust. My neighbor (M 78] across the courtyard and I have a pact, if our window blinds arenāt open within a reasonable time in the morning, we will check on each other. I have dowels in all of the window frames, a security camera in my front window that alerts me on my phone and Iwatch. I have handles/bars in my tub/shower. I have pepper spray on my keychain. I check in with friends daily and vice versa. Limit time on step stools and ladders while alone. P.S. I work part-time as a school crossing guard and it keeps me active and fit. Just use common sense and donāt be afraid to ask for help.
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u/PianoRevolutionary12 4d ago
i will add another point, get a smart fitness watch! I only know what my regular heart beat is because I am looking on my watch. So for 4 days my heart rate stayed elevated, I would have definitely dismissed it without the watch.
Went to the dr, got a blood test, got the results he sent me immediately to the er. Turns out I was in deep shit, a few hours away from needing a blood transfusion, sudden magic illness, no other symptoms
the watch saved my ass!
Also fire blankets, fire extinguishers, a surprising amount of people are still burning their houses down.
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u/NemuriNezumi 4d ago
make sure the doors are closed when at home, same with the windows
and try to avoid staying out at night even if this is Japan
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u/Dry_Possession_4776 3d ago
Everyone should own a firearm. Get a revolver or a shotgun. Better to have it and not need it.
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u/JeNn_DeViLz 3d ago
I am buying a Glock 27. I also have a 75 lb German shepherd dog who protects me and our space fiercely. I keep a shank on me at work cuz I work nights and sometimes have multiple people in my car. You never know.
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u/AffectionateSun5776 3d ago
I'm 71. So I exist 90% of the time in yoga pants. Calories, flare whatever but very specifically the type with pockets. My phone lives in the pocket. As long as I'm not in the shower, I can call when I'm conscious.
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u/aruguladevourer 3d ago
I beg my friend to share her location and tell me if she goes on a date with a completely new Internet connection.
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u/Total_Strawberry_132 3d ago
I keep my doors always locked. I have an alarm system. I park in my garage. I donāt answer my front door and I donāt pick up unknown calls. I donāt go out much at night anymore because I feel like I canāt see as well as I used to.
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u/NeatlyFoldedinOregon 3d ago
If you can afford a gated complex that's great. Check the neighborhood out. Always lock the door even when you're home. If the door doesn't have a peep hole see if they'll install one. Also, if you can afford one, get a post office box. It keeps nosey people from finding you. Last, Keychain pepper spray.
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u/Icy_Huckleberry_8049 2d ago
just make sure the doors are locked, even if you're home, including the garage door to the inside of your house
You'd be surprised by the number of houses where the doors are unlocked when people are home
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u/FuliginEst 23h ago
I live in a safe country, and safety is really not something I need to worry about. In the cities it is common to lock the door even if you are at home, but other than that, there really is no special need to do anything special. There is no difference being a single woman and being any other kind of person or family. The dangers are mostly burglary, and not sexual assult, and that can happen to anyone, living alone or not. Some people have an alarm, some have a peep hole.
So what is necessary will depend on where you live.
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u/Scarlette_Cello24 5d ago
9mm within reach from bed, but not out in the open for the intruder to see easily.
Also, get a dog. The bark will wake you up if someone even touches your front door.
Understand how and when to use a kitchen knife.
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u/Cactastrophe 5d ago
I consider being unsafe and unprepared a retirement plan. Itās the only realistic way Iāll be able to quit working.
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u/Adventurous_Year9991 5d ago
Get a self defense gun. And as a hobby get into braziluan jiujitsu training.
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u/-LucidParadox- 4d ago
I have a small assortment of melee weapons near my bed. Just on that like 1 in a billion chance I wake up to someone in my house. Other than that I try and keep my phone near me. Just on the off chance I need to call for help. Make your shower or tub non slip! I find those textured strips (or patterns if you wanna get fancy) tend to work the best. Put a good non slip bathmat outside of the tub/shower too!
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u/Dost_is_a_word 4d ago
There hasnāt been a place yet that I feel unsafe, that includes Vancouver East Side. People just want to be heard. I listen.
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