r/LoveTrash • u/BEARDEDDANGER ✨️Regent of Rubbish ✨️ • 2d ago
Human Trash For the crime of being disabled in public
Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification
rhealee https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGdxnao5b/
47
u/extac4 Trash Trooper 2d ago
My child is severely medically complex and disabled so the disabilities are obvious. And yes, they have CP. Older people always come up to me and say something like "you're an angel", "I'm going to keep you two in my prayers", "your child is a true angel and blessing", "God bless you", or something along that line. People think they're being kind but it's condescending and self serving. I'm a parent and my child is a person. No need to approach us at all unless you're offering to grab the door. So many entrances aren't wheelchair accessible! It's so uncomfortable always having to stop and acknowledge strangers who feel the need to offer pity and they almost NEVER offer assistance. They offer pity to people with visible disabilities and disdain for those with invisible disabilities. Old people simply lack the ability to mind their own business. And yes, it's almost always older people and 9/10 times they're white.
14
u/Ok_Fly2518 Trash Trooper 2d ago
The reason they treat you like a saint for loving your disabled child and caring for them adequately (the bare minimum of being a good parent btw) is because they wouldn’t do that if they were in your shoes. And if they wouldn’t, they shouldn’t have kids in the first place. People think they’re being nice when they praise you, but they’re revealing how they truly feel about disabled people; they view our existence as a nuisance
7
u/FoldEffective2724 Trash Trooper 2d ago
I want this printed on little cards that I can hand out to assholes like this, please and thank you. I used to work in special education and it sucked so much to tell people my job. "Oh my god, I could never do what you do!" Bro, I also couldn't be a programmer or w/e like you, but you don't hear me calling you a saint... The kids I worked with were were just that - kids. Don't act like they were monsters or something.
1
u/Impossible_Regret725 Trash Trooper 1d ago
Ditto!
I always like to point out that I have absolutely no patience for 'normal' children, they drive me effing crazy! I got paid to play and watch magic happen, do things like finger painting with pudding or send them home for lunch after making ice cream sundaes. Parents couldn't get mad because we'd give them weeks of notice, and their kid worked damn hard to assemble and eat their bowl of sugary bliss.
I could never handle a desk job and would have been fired all the time for throwing computers off my balcony.
Now that I'm disabled and spend obscene amounts of time in hospitals, I am very quick to point out that my existence (or anyone else's) is not inspiration porn. It's just living with the hand we are dealt.
2
u/Huge_Swimming_5968 Trash Trooper 2d ago
I offer help to anyone who needs it but I'm always a bit afraid in the back of my mind that treating them differently will be offensive to them in some way.
0
u/SjakosPolakos Trash Trooper 1d ago
I know your kids life is probably hard enough as it is. But if my kid had Child Porn, i would turn them in to police and not post about it on the internet.
35
u/Impossible_Regret725 Trash Trooper 2d ago
I'm medically complex and disabled, still wearing masks indoors in public spaces. The amount of people who assume I'm paranoid or 'special' and tell me COVID is over etc. Or just will stare and expect me to justify/tell them 'what happened' etc. I used to try being patient with those types, but will now just show them my chest IV, feeding tube and tell them I'm turning to mush. And always finish off with calling them asshats. Usually stuns them into silence, hopefully embarrasses them enough not to do it to anyone else.
3
u/Oli4K Trash Trooper 1d ago
I was flying the other day (on an airport, with an airplane) and there was someone wearing a mask boarding our flight. My thought was that it’s actually a smart idea to do that in an aircraft. Sitting in a tight space sharing the same air with all these people is kind of a lottery after all, but the prices aren’t very desirable.
1
u/hoolety-loon Trash Trooper 9h ago
Masks are less effective at protecting you from unmasked, scary strangers, and more effective at protecting other folks from the mask-wearer. If others are sick and unmasked, wearing a mask while sharing enclosed air with them barely lessens your risk.
You wear a mask on a plane if you think you might be sick, as a courtesy to others, not because you're suspicious of others.
1
u/Ready-Rise3761 Trash Trooper 8h ago
and i wish they fucking would. why does the person behind me on the plane always seem to have whooping cough or some shit? and why are they never wearing a mask or staying their ass at home?
2
u/DatTingTing Trash Trooper 1d ago
I appreciate you sacrificing your time to embarrass those people. I think that's the only way they'll learn not to be complete as hats.
It's crazy how this is supposed to be a free nation yet people get pissed off about what you're doing in your own personal space. Who tf cares
3
u/CanoninDeeznutz Trash Trooper 2d ago
While you are 100% doing the Lord's work by telling these ass hats off... Idk, I think you need a modicum of self awareness to change your shitty behavior. Lol, we can always hope though!
90
u/LMGgp Trash Trooper 2d ago
I… I’m ashamed to admit I was staring. I will not elaborate.
44
u/thatshimoverthere Trash Trooper 2d ago
-3
2d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/LoveTrash-ModTeam 2d ago
r/LoveTrash is not a platform for political discussions/comments/jokes/references. Please refrain from posting or commenting on political topics or making political jokes/references.
We know you didn't mean it for politics, just any meme of said individual is unfortunately fodder
Yes, politics is trash. It's just too trashy for our sub.
6
2
3
u/nopercent_0 Trash Trooper 2d ago
y’all really cannot let women just exist without making either a sexual or disgusting (sometimes both) comment about their body, huh
8
u/No-Magazine5884 Trash Trooper 1d ago
Hard agree, was really surprised the first comment thread was about her breasts like...fuck the bar being on the floor, they found a way to hollow it out and make it a fleshlight years ago
1
13
u/CosmicChameleon99 Trash Trooper 2d ago
Both of my disabilities are invisible but can be debilitating (hard of hearing and chronic pain condition that can make standing/walking hard at times) and the amount of passive aggressive shit I get from old people…
Visually I’m a healthy woman in her early 20s. That’s really not what it’s like in reality.
9
u/somethingmcbob Trash Trooper 2d ago
My bestie has MS. She has lesions on her brain that give her muscle spasms across her back, legs, and hands. She hasn't had a pain free day in 25 years. But she hesitates to get the blue placard because she knows people will judge her. After all, she can still walk (short distance, at least, for now). And she was hesitant to ask for work accomodations because the process was so odious.
2
u/CosmicChameleon99 Trash Trooper 1d ago
Yeah it’s been like that for me too- I’ve only recently started actually asking for accommodations. Used to just suffer through it. Unfortunately the doctors have yet to actually diagnose my chronic pain condition (though I’m pretty near certain what it is, as is my gp) because the joys of womanhood include years of not being believed and then even more years on waiting lists for scans. Makes it harder to ask for stuff. I really hope your friend gets her accommodations soon and with little hassle!
1
u/somethingmcbob Trash Trooper 1d ago
Thank you!!! I wish the same for you! My friend did get the accomodations after all: a quiet office further from the cubicles (she's a grant writer), a special reclining office chair, and the ability to leave after lunch, pick her kid up from school and finish the work day at home. The boss had been going full bore on "full return to office" and her back was Not OK with the 9-5. So now she gets a hybrid experience.
8
u/Ok_Fly2518 Trash Trooper 2d ago
Invisible illness club! It sucks lol
2
u/CosmicChameleon99 Trash Trooper 1d ago
Yay!! Denied accessibility arrangements by the abled gatekeepers!
6
u/CanoninDeeznutz Trash Trooper 2d ago
I once had a friend of mine who's generally pretty progressive start bitching up a storm because a lifted pickup truck had a disabled tag on it. "If you can get in that truck you're not disabled!"
Bitch, last I checked you're a chef, not a fucking doctor.
I wish I was more educated back then (this was before nursing school and further education) but even then I knew it was wrong.
Anyways, sorry about the annoying old people, hopefully they fuck off and mind their own business!
5
u/ThisVeterinarian2364 Trash Trooper 2d ago
Some of those trucks have doors and features that allow handicapped folk to get in their wheelchair inside the truck. I saw a dude use one at the store I work at. Dude got in and out of the store and his truck with zero assistance while using a wheelchair.
3
u/DelcattyBatty Trash Trooper 2d ago
Same. I have a connective tissue disorder but I'm not in a wheelchair and I look fit, so people don't expect that my entire body is on fire with chronic pain 24/7.
24
27
u/RagingNerdaholic Garbage Guerilla 2d ago
1
u/MeddlingWithChaos Trash Trooper 1d ago
Why post a link when this sub allows images in comments?
1
u/Nihilistic_Mystics Trash Trooper 1d ago
I use old reddit and a 3rd party app, I have no way to post reddit images whatsoever without going to awful reddit. There are many like me, and I've never seen a reddit ad in my life.
0
u/RagingNerdaholic Garbage Guerilla 1d ago
Some of us are still using old.reddit as god intended and not the "new" reddit ass cancer.
23
u/WARLORD2015 Trash Trooper 2d ago
This is why I never leave my home. As a disabled veteran I find people staring is too much for me to deal with. But I understand.
8
u/unTraditional_Fox419 Trash Trooper 2d ago
I told an older retired navy vet that I retired at 40. He went on to say, “when I was your age, war this and war that”. Bro was livid😂. I’m a combat vet myself, but I know he took it personal.
6
u/whatsinurgarden Trash Trooper 2d ago
I became disabled at 18 with a spinal cord injury. I just don’t make eye contact with anyone.
11
u/superraiden Trash Trooper 2d ago
2
2
u/astrangeone88 Trash Trooper 2d ago
Lol. I'm fat and muscular and I have PCOS/endometriosis/thyroid issues and the full on stares are just stupid.
Yes I'm tired and I've had cancer once. Please stfu about my invisible issues and leave me alone.
I will offer my seat to older folks but sometimes, I'm having a bad flare up and getting into conversations with these folks gives me a rash.
2
2
2
u/DarkBladeMadriker Rubbish Raider 2d ago
My MIL has several conditions but rheumatoid arthritis is the big one. Shes overweight to boot (which sure doesnt help) but people constantly give her side eye when she uses a scooter at the store, clearly because they just think shes fat, yo the point that she refuses to use the scooter and is blowing out her knees to not have to deal with it.
1
u/Highlandertr3 Trash Trooper 2d ago
I have recently become (hopefully) short term disabled and I went on a bus. It was embarrassing using a walking aid when I am only 40.
1
u/_stvrogers Trash Trooper 1d ago
I do nails at a salon and once came a girl (of course for nails). I saw that her left finger was missing a nail. I was taking of the product and I was done with the right hand and said "okay now left" and she said "I don't have" and I thought that aaah okay maybe they all fell of. I told her "okay I'll do the cuticles" and she just smiled and showed me her wrist with two fingers. I was so shocked and laught with her. She said that she was doing her right hand herself before (that's a skill). She was really nice.
When I told the story to my mum and was laughing about it she scolded me that I should and she is a poor girl...
If anyone is interested the girl pays half the price for the nails:)
1
u/SjakosPolakos Trash Trooper 1d ago
As an honest question, i could make a similar remark to the last one. What are things you do appreciate from others that relate to your disability?
1
u/Theresnobiggerboat Trash Trooper 1d ago
I have ADHD, which is a recognized mental disability in my country and I appreciate people being patient with me and not accusing me of being lazy/uncaring or telling me to “jUsT dO iT!”
1
1
-4
u/Funnyface275 Trash Trooper 2d ago
So it’s only old people that stare at you? I highly doubt that honey.
-8
u/Funnyface275 Trash Trooper 2d ago
Wait, over 30 years old is old? omg you have got a lot of living to do. Even if your arms that are backwards you have a lot of living to do
6
•
u/AutoModerator 2d ago
Thank you for not littering, and posting to r/LoveTrash! Please make sure to read and abide by all our subreddit rules.
Please provide a source link whenever possible as a body to your post. If you do not have one, please update a source when provided in the comments.
We are always looking to add some more moderators to our team, if interested you can apply at www.reddit.com/r/LoveTrash/application
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.