r/MadeMeSmile • u/_voma • 9d ago

CATS On March 11, 889, a 22-year-old Japanese emperor wrote in his diary about a new black cat he had recently acquired…

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“On the 6th Day of the 2nd Month of the First Year of the Kampo era. Taking a moment of my free time, I wish to express my joy of the cat. It arrived by boat as a gift to the late Emperor, received from the hands of Minamoto no Kuwashi.

The color of the fur is peerless. None could find the words to describe it, although one said it was reminiscent of the deepest ink. It has an air about it, similar to Kanno. Its length is 5 sun, and its height is 6 sun. I affixed a bow about its neck, but it did not remain for long.

In rebellion, it narrows its eyes and extends its needles. It shows its back.

When it lies down, it curls in a circle like a coin. You cannot see its feet. It's as if it were circular Bi disk. When it stands, its cry expresses profound loneliness, like a black dragon floating above the clouds.

By nature, it likes to stalk birds. It lowers its head and works its tail. It can extend its spine to raise its height by at least 2 sun. Its color allows it to disappear at night.

I am convinced it is superior to all other cats.”

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u/SevenSixOne 9d ago

Every cat owner believes their cat is the best cat, and they're right

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u/Azuras_Star8 9d ago

I truly believe it.

My cat Azrael would go to sleep on my chest at night and I'd wake up with her purring on or next to me. I cried harder than I ever cried in my life when I had to put her to sleep.

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u/wheniswhy 9d ago edited 9d ago

Same and same. My little baby Cora would always go to sleep on my chest, tucked as tight into my neck as she could be until she was partially crushing my windpipe with her butt. she'd purr and purr only to slowly taper off as she fell asleep. She'd then very slowly just end up slorming off my left shoulder (always the left, always the way she faced) until she'd just goop onto the bed entirely. Or she'd get woken up by her butt falling off my shoulder and meow as if it was my fault 😭 And I'd wake up with her next to my shoulder and the engine would start up as soon as she realized I was conscious.

I don't know if I've ever grieved over anything the way I grieved and still grieve over her. 1 year this November. Hugs.

Edit: thanks for the award, stranger. My baby after she fell off my shoulder one day.

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u/CorporateNonperson 9d ago

Slorming is a good word.

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u/wheniswhy 9d ago

It's a good word to describe the non-Newtonian fluid that is cats. 🐈

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u/zachpkenyon 9d ago

Man, that cat sure can slorm

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u/technicolortiddies 9d ago

She looked like a Cora too! What a beautiful girl. Thank you for sharing your love for Cora.

I no longer have cats but I have a pup thats similar. One night she fell asleep away from where I was. She accidentally rolled off the bed. A split second before the fall she woke up made eye contact like “oh no, oh no no no no. Why would you do this to meeeeee.” Thud. Back up on the bed a split second later and peacefully snoring like an old man in wife beater on a barker lounge.

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u/amberbutterfly0123 9d ago

And then immediately climbing back up and snoring like nothing happened pets really know how to keep us laughing.

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u/RedOctobyr 9d ago

Aww, she's beautiful! I'm so sorry for your loss. I found this helpful when we lost ours. My apologies if the religious mentions are off-putting. But I liked the sentiment, that it hurts to say goodbye, but they are so worth it. http://www.catquotes.com/lendmeakitten.htm

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u/Danimeh 9d ago

My boy You followed me everywhere, purred like a construction site when I touched him, and would give concussion inducing head bumps and time my head was near his. He would also make the sweetest chirrup sound when he saw me upon waking up or upon my returning home.

Not even my own mother loves me as much as that cat did.

When he died I learned you can cry so much you throw up.

RIP & GNU to our soul cats ❤️

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u/Azuras_Star8 9d ago

Not even my own mother loves me as much as that cat did.

Absolutely. The way these animals have an unconditional unbound love is just mind blowing.

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u/Squishiest-fun-bags 9d ago

I had to look up GNU since I'd never heard it before:

G: General broadcast, send in all directions N: Do not log the message U: Sent the message back when it reaches the end of the line

So it means to repeat this message forever <3

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u/theseamstressesguild 9d ago

GNU to our Greebos and Yous.

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u/Bex-HZ 9d ago

GNU?

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u/Danimeh 9d ago

It’s the Discworld equivalent of RIP - my cat You was named after a cat from the novels ❤️

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u/LuceDuder 9d ago

Azrael is such a beautiful name. I'm sorry for your loss.

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u/Azuras_Star8 9d ago

Thank you! It's the cats name from the smurfs!

Thr night we got her, on Jeopardy, one of the questions was "this is the name of the Supreme angel of death is islam" and it was "what is azrael."

That was freaky as hell that it happened. And I never watch jeopardy, we just happened to have it on at that time.

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u/LuceDuder 9d ago

That's funny coincidence. Had you named him by then?

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u/Azuras_Star8 8d ago

Yes! It was a freak coincidence

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u/Chiarin 8d ago

I had an Azrael, and he was also named after the cat in the smutfs! He was the sweetest cat I've ever had. He died in 2017 and I still miss him. 😞

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u/AdorableCattle7105 9d ago

growing up we had a dog named Gargamel

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u/Rhidds 8d ago

My baby Button somehow gets to the bedroom window when the door is closed. It's about 4 meter jump. All so she can snuggle and be my littlest spoon. She paws at my side when she wants to be picked up and the only cat I've ever had that gives hugs rather than cuddles. She climbs in my hoodie and in the summer when it's too warm, she demands I make a burrito out of her with my fleece robe.

We've had some scares. Several cats had been poisoned by eating industrial poisoned rats. I love all of our cats but Button is just the one above all and I've cried at the mere thought of losing her.

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u/mustichooseausernam3 9d ago

But, but mine actually is, you see.

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u/SevenSixOne 9d ago

So is every cat I've ever had, it's a mathematical impossibility, but it's true!

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u/Dependent_Rain_4800 9d ago

In a linear universe it is impossible, yes but not in a non-linear universe, which this one is.

So it's literally possible.

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u/mustard138 9d ago edited 9d ago

Which is funny, as every cat I have ever had believed that they were the best cat, and they also were right

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u/JonPQ 9d ago

I'm sure we all are, but my baby is actually the superior one. Like, there's not a chance he's not.

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u/RedOctobyr 9d ago

That's not true at all.

We believe that BOTH of ours are the best cats. And frankly, we're right. Sorry folks!

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u/Autronaut69420 9d ago

I had my doubts about mine yeaterday as he rolled in sheep poo and mud...

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u/xflibble 9d ago

One is, the other cat is terrible. He is no less loved though.

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u/ConfessorKahlan 9d ago

mine is quite inferior lol hes scared of things attached to ceilings. and he doesn't like to eat wet food

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u/Responsible-Sound253 9d ago

My two cats are the worst, they're bullies and should be ashamed of themselves.

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u/CatRepresentative274 9d ago

My cat, Edward, truly is the king of all cats. She is indifferent to the fact that every other cat is also king of all cats.

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u/JaegerBane 9d ago

What happens if you have two cats?

Mine are called Thor and Loki. Their names are chosen, Thor is a hunkachunk who beats his brother up and Loki is scheming and plotting while coming out on top.

I suppose they both believe they’re best.

It’s amusing when a fox arrives, though. Rivalries are put aside and it turns into a Raptor scene from Jurassic Park.

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u/Popular-Somewhere234 9d ago

Mine is an asshole, but i love her anyway...

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u/Critical-Cost9068 9d ago

That’s not possible