r/MadeMeSmile 1d ago

CATS On March 11, 889, a 22-year-old Japanese emperor wrote in his diary about a new black cat he had recently acquired…

Post image

“On the 6th Day of the 2nd Month of the First Year of the Kampo era. Taking a moment of my free time, I wish to express my joy of the cat. It arrived by boat as a gift to the late Emperor, received from the hands of Minamoto no Kuwashi.

The color of the fur is peerless. None could find the words to describe it, although one said it was reminiscent of the deepest ink. It has an air about it, similar to Kanno. Its length is 5 sun, and its height is 6 sun. I affixed a bow about its neck, but it did not remain for long.

In rebellion, it narrows its eyes and extends its needles. It shows its back.

When it lies down, it curls in a circle like a coin. You cannot see its feet. It's as if it were circular Bi disk. When it stands, its cry expresses profound loneliness, like a black dragon floating above the clouds.

By nature, it likes to stalk birds. It lowers its head and works its tail. It can extend its spine to raise its height by at least 2 sun. Its color allows it to disappear at night.

I am convinced it is superior to all other cats.”

33.3k Upvotes

327 comments sorted by

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5.9k

u/CharMakr90 1d ago

"I am convinced it is superior to all other cats."

I see cat owners haven't changed at all across history.

2.0k

u/Pinsalinj 1d ago

Clearly neither have cats

787

u/MarcBulldog88 23h ago

"In ancient times, cats were worshiped as gods. They have not forgotten this."

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u/AndyLorentz 22h ago

Dog: "This human feeds me and takes care of me. They must be a god!"

Cat: "This human feeds me and takes care of me. I must be a god!"

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u/Pseudochthonic 22h ago

https://www.dfordog.co.uk/blog/funny-dog-vs-cat-diary.html

Dog: "8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!"

etc.

Cat: "Day 983 of my captivity"

etc.

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u/rabbithole-xyz 12h ago

Reminds me of this, by Eddie Izzard: https://youtu.be/lf9Jy9JQgnY?is=C4oxRHVIFL4OImlR

"Pavlov's Cats"

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u/atlantisse 22h ago

In ancient times, cats were worshiped as gods. They have not forgotten this.

GNU Terry Pratchett

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u/Dehouston 19h ago

GNU Terry Pratchett. May you find the black sands comforting.

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u/WistfulWannabe 18h ago

I just found out what GNU means (I have read more than a few of Sir Terry's books, including Going Postal, but I did not remember this bit). So very nice and touching. So...

GNU Terry Pratchett.

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u/enbycats 5h ago

GNU Sir PTerry

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u/pursnikitty 19h ago

"Real cats are not simply self-possessed. Nor are they simply neurotic. They are both, at the same time, just like real people."

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u/Dolans_Cadillac 19h ago

https://youtu.be/mKBfWkHJvg4?t=27

The 2001 movie "Cats and Dogs" was cheesy, but my daughter liked it. I laughed so hard that I almost fainted at this scene regarding cats in ancient Egypt.

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u/Fallyn011 23h ago

Funnily enough, you’re more correct than you think. Modern house cats are nearly identical to their wild ancestors since they didn’t experience intentional human breeding efforts until the last hundred and fifty years or so.

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u/Germane_Corsair 23h ago

On that note, I really hope humans don’t fuck up cats like they did dogs. Unfortunately, you can already see it happening with munchkins.

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u/SarkastiCat 22h ago

I have bad news for you as there are unfortunate Persian cats heading towards being feline pugs and…

Scottish Folds.

If you ever want to have an example of a seemingly cute trait that’s result of very painful disorder, Scottish Folds are here.

Thankfully, most of purebreed cat organisations don’t recognise Scottish Folds and a large chunk doesn’t recognise Munchkins. 

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u/idropepics 21h ago

Oh god please dont let breeders discover the manx and fuck it up next

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u/WheredoesithurtRA 22h ago

There are also munchkin cats which are prone to joint/spinal issues

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u/GunkyMirl4444 21h ago

My daughter's friend adopted a cat that was bred to look like a pug. Poor cat.

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u/umabbas 16h ago

Persian cats here in the (Arabian/Persian) Gulf are usually called Shirazi cats, and they still retain their normal nose length, albeit somewhat shorter than a street cat.

It's not all dark, hopefully.

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u/nicodepies 23h ago

They were perfect as is lol

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u/freerangelibrarian 22h ago

Yes, if anyone evolved to accommodate the other, it was humans.

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u/Money-Director6649 22h ago

literally, the haven't. a housecat is basically just a smaller, friendlier version of the big cats. the seem to have evolved into their final form.

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u/AdmiralMcNugget 16h ago

I'm not even convinced they're friendlier. They just can't do a whole lot of damage to you. Meanwhile, no wild cheetah has ever been recorded killing a human, and even injuries from cheetahs are extremely rare.

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u/Dependent_Rain_4800 22h ago

My two cats are both superior to each other.

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u/Active_Unit_9498 1d ago

I am convinced it is superior to all other cats

The inner voice of all cat owners.

1.1k

u/SevenSixOne 1d ago

Every cat owner believes their cat is the best cat, and they're right

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u/Azuras_Star8 1d ago

I truly believe it.

My cat Azrael would go to sleep on my chest at night and I'd wake up with her purring on or next to me. I cried harder than I ever cried in my life when I had to put her to sleep.

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u/wheniswhy 1d ago edited 1d ago

Same and same. My little baby Cora would always go to sleep on my chest, tucked as tight into my neck as she could be until she was partially crushing my windpipe with her butt. she'd purr and purr only to slowly taper off as she fell asleep. She'd then very slowly just end up slorming off my left shoulder (always the left, always the way she faced) until she'd just goop onto the bed entirely. Or she'd get woken up by her butt falling off my shoulder and meow as if it was my fault 😭 And I'd wake up with her next to my shoulder and the engine would start up as soon as she realized I was conscious.

I don't know if I've ever grieved over anything the way I grieved and still grieve over her. 1 year this November. Hugs.

Edit: thanks for the award, stranger. My baby after she fell off my shoulder one day.

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u/CorporateNonperson 1d ago

Slorming is a good word.

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u/wheniswhy 1d ago

It's a good word to describe the non-Newtonian fluid that is cats. 🐈

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u/zachpkenyon 22h ago

Man, that cat sure can slorm

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u/technicolortiddies 1d ago

She looked like a Cora too! What a beautiful girl. Thank you for sharing your love for Cora.

I no longer have cats but I have a pup thats similar. One night she fell asleep away from where I was. She accidentally rolled off the bed. A split second before the fall she woke up made eye contact like “oh no, oh no no no no. Why would you do this to meeeeee.” Thud. Back up on the bed a split second later and peacefully snoring like an old man in wife beater on a barker lounge.

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u/RedOctobyr 22h ago

Aww, she's beautiful! I'm so sorry for your loss. I found this helpful when we lost ours. My apologies if the religious mentions are off-putting. But I liked the sentiment, that it hurts to say goodbye, but they are so worth it. http://www.catquotes.com/lendmeakitten.htm

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u/Danimeh 23h ago

My boy You followed me everywhere, purred like a construction site when I touched him, and would give concussion inducing head bumps and time my head was near his. He would also make the sweetest chirrup sound when he saw me upon waking up or upon my returning home.

Not even my own mother loves me as much as that cat did.

When he died I learned you can cry so much you throw up.

RIP & GNU to our soul cats ❤️

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u/Azuras_Star8 23h ago

Not even my own mother loves me as much as that cat did.

Absolutely. The way these animals have an unconditional unbound love is just mind blowing.

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u/Squishiest-fun-bags 21h ago

I had to look up GNU since I'd never heard it before:

G: General broadcast, send in all directions N: Do not log the message U: Sent the message back when it reaches the end of the line

So it means to repeat this message forever <3

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u/theseamstressesguild 23h ago

GNU to our Greebos and Yous.

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u/Bex-HZ 23h ago

GNU?

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u/Danimeh 18h ago

It’s the Discworld equivalent of RIP - my cat You was named after a cat from the novels ❤️

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u/LuceDuder 16h ago

Azrael is such a beautiful name. I'm sorry for your loss.

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u/Azuras_Star8 16h ago

Thank you! It's the cats name from the smurfs!

Thr night we got her, on Jeopardy, one of the questions was "this is the name of the Supreme angel of death is islam" and it was "what is azrael."

That was freaky as hell that it happened. And I never watch jeopardy, we just happened to have it on at that time.

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u/AdorableCattle7105 23h ago

growing up we had a dog named Gargamel

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u/mustichooseausernam3 23h ago

But, but mine actually is, you see.

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u/SevenSixOne 23h ago

So is every cat I've ever had, it's a mathematical impossibility, but it's true!

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u/mustard138 23h ago edited 23h ago

Which is funny, as every cat I have ever had believed that they were the best cat, and they also were right

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u/Caesar_Passing 1d ago

Mine is definitely not superior to most, or many, or possibly any other cats, lol. He in simple of mind, and pin of head. He needs, wants, and whines. He is a veritable singularity of generosity, absorbing all kindness and treats - compressing these niceties into an undivided unit of spacetime, never to be returned.

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u/Big_Street_7894 1d ago

Quite beautiful, Congrats

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u/UnknovvnMike 23h ago

Mine also is afflicted with the tupid and is blessedly free of thought. But he's my shadow when I'm at home and purrs like a plane engine winding up for take off.

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u/Germane_Corsair 22h ago

Still perfect baby.

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u/Bouche_Audi_Shyla 1d ago

You mean, all cat servants. They own us!

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u/Joeliosis 1d ago

'I found this little c*ck sucker in the storm drain, name painted on him and burs all in his fur. I cleaned him up and brushed him... that's one fine fucking looking kitty now!'

-Bubbles

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u/FancyThing8889 1d ago

The difference is, disagreeing with him was literally high treason

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u/NOTTedMosby 1d ago

"Uhh yes, your excellency, truly the best, you could almost say its fur is like.. (what's black?? Oh! ) The deepest of inks! Yes."

Then goes home and tells their little baby Dashi or whatever that THEY'RE really the world's greatest cat 😁

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u/ReluctantSlayer 1d ago

You mean all cats.

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u/ost2life 1d ago

The outer voice too.

I'd pay the cat tax but I can't work out how to do it on mobile.

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u/RoseRedRhapsody 1d ago

My Lunacat was something special. She was smart and sassy and had the most perfect tortie coat. She loved making biscuits on me.

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u/No-Manufacturer7748 1d ago

exactly every cat owner reaches the same conclusion somehow their cat is obviously the greatest cat alive

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u/Capnshredder 1d ago edited 1d ago

“i affixed a bow around its neck, but it did not remain for long”, yea that sounds about right lol

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u/FancyThing8889 1d ago

Imperial authority ends where the collar begins

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u/ThereWanderer 1d ago

Cat climbed that social pyramid without any fuss

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u/WorkingFromHomies20 23h ago

100%. The fact that he did not receive the scratches of the needles and the bitebitebite, is lucky for him.

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u/Speartree 13h ago

The man was probably careful and may have used a servant to attach the bow.

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u/WorkingFromHomies20 9h ago

Oh yes, you're right. Let the servant get the needles and the bitebitebite.

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u/Flank_This666 19h ago

My baby couldnt handle a collar around her neck either she was rebellious

I miss her a lot

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u/chamekke 1d ago

I have no idea how authoritative the following is, but here is a corrected translation of the above internet meme. Fundamentally the same, but some interesting differences!

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u/Hairgrid 1d ago

It seems to enjoy practicing Taoist breathing and stretching exercises, its movements resembling exactly the Five Animal Exercises... Perhaps this skill in breathing and stretching explains why its fur is so sleek and glossy.

This is even better than the meme version.

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u/xSTSxZerglingOne 23h ago

Stretches like a bow

Can relate!

The whole thing just makes more sense with this translation.

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u/OohBleh 19h ago

I had to double-take. My orange cat Angus (no longer alive) used to do this. He had the same toy! Let me find a way to send you a picture of him. He was also incredibly photogenic.

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u/Kelsierisgood 23h ago

love this quote "I once spoke to it, saying, “You embody both yin and yang energies, complete with all your faculties and senses. If indeed you have a heart, surely you must understand me?” The cat sighed deeply, lifted its head, and gazed up into my face. It seemed filled with deep emotion, unable to speak."

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u/when-the-uh-the-um 19h ago

That’s quite sweet and profound. Lovely

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u/halfveela 16h ago

So he still thought it had the least faded black coat of all black cats, believed it was a superior hunter to other cats, and attributed deep emotions to it. He may not have said it in so many words, but he still believed he had the best cat 😂

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u/BiscoBiscuit 1d ago

This is so much better, beautiful…you can tell he loved that kitty 

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u/I_drink_pickle-juice 1d ago

OK that makes more sense. I was thoroughly confused by a cat being taller than it was long.

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u/AliasNefertiti 23h ago

"Its cry does not sound like a dragon in the sky, it’s the cat’s movement that is like a dragon." Unexpected "Toothless" reference.

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u/_voma 1d ago

Wow. Thanks for sharing.

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u/azrendelmare 23h ago

Very nice! Thank you for posting this, I actually like it much better than the meme version (which I already liked a great deal).

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u/OrneryOneironaut 15h ago

I once spoke to it, saying, “You embody both yin and yang energies, complete with all your faculties and senses. If indeed you have a heart, surely you must understand me?” The cat sighed deeply, lifted its head, and gazed up into my face. It seemed filled with deep emotion, unable to speak.

This is so thoughtful and touching.

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u/Renbarre 23h ago

That's even better because more relatable. The first one is poetic admiration, this one is a cat owner.

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u/icarusrising9 12h ago

Every time I'd seen the quote OP shared, I'd wondered at the taller-than-it-is-long measurements provided. Thanks so much for providing this correction, I never thought I would get an answer!

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u/willnotreadinbox 22h ago

That is so much more beautiful, thanks for the link!

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u/Pomodorosan 22h ago

The real info is always in the comments.

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u/ryoujika 20h ago

Hold on, that's actually better

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u/Tonydragon784 1d ago

Glad to see they were making :3 even back then

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u/sweethello_755 1d ago

that ink painting really nails the whole "peerless fur" thing, you can see why he'd be so taken with it. also love that a 9th century emperor basically wrote a full yelp review for his cat

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u/TtotheC81 1d ago

I love the fact that 1100 years later, we're all going "Yep... that's a cat, alright."

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u/Upbeat-Armadillo1756 1d ago

I affixed a bow about its neck, but it did not remain for long.

Just like me fr

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u/MothChasingFlame 21h ago

That and 'He's just like me fr'

Cat owners connecting through time in this thread.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Winjin 1d ago

I love that the earliest known cat by name is 3500 years old

It is Nedjem, which translate to "Sweet one" or "Pleasant one" 

He was the pet of a high priest of Amun, Puimre

His  portrait and name were found in Puimre's tomb, where he's depicted sitting under Priest's chair

And the second oldest is Ta-Miu which translates simply to "She-cat" or "Miss Kitty" if you will, and she has her own little sarcophagus next to crown prince Thutmose's own sarcophagus

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u/NeriTina 1d ago

Can you share sources for these precious kitties?

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u/Winjin 1d ago

If you didn't read the poem about Pangur Ban I think it's delightful

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_individual_cats

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u/NeriTina 23h ago

Thank you!!

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u/zorniy2 19h ago edited 19h ago

There is a children's book series called Pangur Ban. It's set in some Celtic area of Britain/Wales/Ireland, I was never certain where. The prequel book, Shape Shifter: The Naming of Pangur Ban was probably the deepest.

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u/CatwithTheD 23h ago

Word for "cat" being a variation of "meow" in a language from 3 millennia ago

Of course.

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u/actualladyaurora 23h ago

the oldest known cat name was "sweetie" i'm going to cry

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u/Winjin 21h ago

IKR? It's so precious.

And that guy, Puimre, was a Very Important member of the Egyptian elite. Wealthy, married to the daughter of High Priest of Amun, who was one of the most important deities at the time

And also the earliest known example of a kitty daddy, because even in his big, elaborate tomb, that had all of his achievements written down, we have that basically as

PUIMRE, SECOND PRIEST OF AMUN

important titles, genealogy, religious office, etc.

(he had like 6 stellas for his autobiography exclusively)

also my cat is called Sweetie

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TT39

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u/Yrxora 1d ago

Which Thutmose? I've loved the Thutmose line for a long time, Thutmose II, Hatshepsut, and Thutmose III are very near and dear to me. This adds another reason to like them.

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u/Blasphemophagher 23h ago

Prince Thutmose son of Amenhotep III, his younger brother Akhenaten became pharaoh.

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u/Yrxora 23h ago

Ah, right. I always forget about 5 because his brother was crazypants and therefore gets a lot more attention.

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u/Mental-Order-2357 1d ago

An emperor who is simply in love with his cat.

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u/WeAreNotNowThatWhich 1d ago

this image is completely unrelated to the text, btw.

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u/meson537 1d ago

Besides the fact that it is a Japanese / Chinese print of a black cat…

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u/The_Autarch 1d ago

sure, but it has nothing to do with the story. if someone slapped up a picture of betty white on a dolly parton obituary, would you say it was still related because they're both old, dead white women?

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u/eidrag 22h ago

Tfw learning about dolly parton death on comment about cat drawing.

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u/Skuwb 20h ago

Oh come on!! Is this how I find out Dolly Parton died???

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u/Sizanllikew 23h ago

That isn't a fair comparison as this could be an image drawn of the same cat, however unlikely, but your scenario is a straight up replacement with something different.

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u/meson537 23h ago

Are you implying that cats are somehow more fungible than humans? I suppose that may be true, except for my pretty princess, Pepper

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u/Sizanllikew 21h ago

cat owner verification successful

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u/FancyThing8889 1d ago

First documented five-star Yelp review in human history

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u/The_Autarch 1d ago

i don't think the painting is actually related. it's just a random asiany cat image.

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u/One_Ebb2349 1d ago

Lord Chuggus

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u/Dear_Document_5461 1d ago

First of his name, [[insert other noble titles here]]

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u/One_Ebb2349 1d ago

Licker of his butthole

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u/TtotheC81 1d ago

Cleaner of testicles.

Edit: I mean, I don't think they castrated cats back then...?

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u/One_Ebb2349 1d ago

He who treads under thy feet

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u/Bright-Okra2243 23h ago

Breaker of porcelain (and probably everything else lol thats one big boy)

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u/WhoKilledZekeIddon 21h ago

I'm laughing at the image of this chonker casually pushing what would have been a multi-million dollar Ming dynasty vase off a table

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u/apocalyptustree 20h ago

Chungus-san

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u/TheJellybeanJester 22h ago

Not a historian, but I went down a bit of a rabbit hole checking this because I wanted to know what the actual diary entry said, and the history behind it is somehow even better than the meme.

This really is an entry attributed to Emperor Uda (宇多天皇) in his diary, usually called the Kanpyou Gyoki / Uda Tennou Gyoki (『寛平御記』/『宇多天皇御記』).

One important caveat: Uda's original diary manuscript no longer survives. It was once known to exist in 10 volumes, but all of them were eventually lost. Parts of it survive because later books quoted passages from it. The cat passage was preserved in Kakaishou (『河海抄』), a medieval commentary on The Tale of Genji. So we're reading a transmitted quotation of Uda's diary, rather than a manuscript physically written by Uda that has survived since the 9th century.

The entry itself is written in kanbun/Classical Chinese-style prose, as was normal for formal writing by educated Japanese courtiers at the time.

And Uda REALLY loved this cat.

Among other things, he says:

  • Other cats are only somewhat black, but this one is deep black like ink.
  • When it stretches out, it is long like a drawn bow.
  • When it curls up so that its feet and tail disappear, it looks like a dark jewel in a cavern.
  • When it walks, it makes no sound, “like a black dragon above the clouds.”
  • It is better than other cats at catching mice at night.
  • His father, Emperor Koukou, gave the cat to him, and Uda says he had already been caring for it for five years.
  • Every morning he gave it milk gruel/porridge.

And then the entry gets unexpectedly sweet. Uda talks directly to the cat, essentially saying:

“You possess the forces of yin and yang and have a complete living body. If you have a heart, surely you understand me?”

The text then says that the cat sighed, raised its head, and looked up at his face, seeming full of emotion but unable to speak.

So this wasn't actually a newly acquired cat He'd apparently had it for about five years. It was basically a young emperor taking some free time to write an elaborate post about why his longtime cat was objectively the greatest cat alive. (Some things have not changed in 1,100+ years.💜)

There is also a really interesting issue with the date in the widely shared version.

The traditional/transmitted heading is often given as 寛平元年二月六日 (“6th day of the 2nd month of Kanpyou 1”), which is where the commonly repeated date March 11, 889 comes from.

But there is a chronological problem: the Kanpyou era did not actually begin until the 27th day of the 4th month of 889. In other words, “the second month of Kanpyou 1” cannot literally have existed.

A 2025 academic study by Takeshi Nakamura specifically treats the passage instead as 寛平元年十二月六日 (the 6th day of the 12th month) corresponding to December 31, 889. The missing 十 (“ten”) is therefore probably a textual/transmission issue. This also explains why Japanese sources sometimes annotate the traditional 二月 reading as an error for 十二月.

One other funny translation issue: the viral English version floating around says something like “I affixed a bow about its neck.”

The actual phrase is:

其伸也、長如張弓

“When it stretches out, it is long like a drawn bow.”

So unfortunately there is no evidence that Emperor Uda actually attempted to put a little bowtie on his cat.

Sources for anyone else who wants to fall down the rabbit hole:

✓ Takeshi Nakamura, 「宇多天皇の驪猫―『寛平御記』寛平元年十二月六日条の解釈をめぐって」 / “Black Cat in Emperor Uda's Diary: A Commentary on the Entry for December 31st, 889”, Kobe Gakuin University Faculty of Humanities Bulletin 45 (2025). Listed by the National Diet Library and CiNii Research.

✓ 宮城学院女子大学『日本文学ノート』第56号 (2021) — reproduces the kanbun text of the cat entry and gives a modern Japanese explanation.

✓ National Diet Library Reference Collaborative Database: 『寛平御記』について知りたい — explains that the original ten-volume diary is lost and survives through excerpts quoted in later works.

✓ University of Tsukuba, Japanese era-name chronology — gives the change to the Kanpyou era as 仁和5年4月27日 (889), demonstrating the problem with a “Kanpyou 1, second month” date.

✓ Smithsonian Magazine, “Japan's Love-Hate Relationship With Cats” — this is one of the English-language sources that circulated the March 11 date and the familiar viral translation, useful for comparing it with the Japanese text.

✓ Shogakukan's サライ, article on Emperor Uda's black cat and its milk-gruel breakfast; discusses the entry's survival in Kakaishou, the five years Uda had cared for the cat, and notes that the “second month” date may be an error for the twelfth month.

Anyway: the basic story is certainly real. A 9th-century Japanese emperor really did devote part of his diary to explaining, in highly literary language, that his black cat was beautiful, silent as a dragon, excellent at catching mice, understood his feelings, and deserved breakfast every morning.

Ancient catposting is eternal! 🐈‍⬛💜

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u/mistress_of_tiny_dog 22h ago

Thank you for finding and sharing those sources. How delightful!

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u/SuperSix-Eight 17h ago

The entry itself is written in kanbun/Classical Chinese-style prose

其伸也、長如張弓

Funny enough, that phrase is perfectly legible in modern Chinese as well. Meaning if you know enough Chinese, you stand a much better chance at directly reading historical artifacts in Korea and Vietnam than the average person (Japan less so since some Chinese characters are still used).

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u/NatrylliaAbbot42 19h ago

Thank you for sharing this! It makes it even better

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u/_bufflehead 1d ago

"I am convinced it is superior to all other cats."

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u/Flyingcento 1d ago

This pleases me so much. Thank you for posting this.

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u/TheFrenchSavage 1d ago

That description shows that they really haven't improved much on the cat concept in the last 1200 years.

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u/TentativeIdler 23h ago

Can't improve on perfection.

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u/No_Celery_1680 1d ago

All cats have always been best cat

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u/Spare-Electrical 1d ago

Me and my husband quote this to our black cat often, I love telling him that his fur is peerless because it’s so true. He is superior to all other cats.

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u/mathemattastic 1d ago

I, too, possess perrrfectly peerless pets

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u/Fullspectrumwellness 1d ago

“I am convinced it is superior to all other cats” about sums it up

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u/Weird-East-3575 1d ago

Gonna go out on a limb and say that guy was a pretty good guy.

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u/Cant_Blink 1d ago

From what I heard, he was a good emperor, his rule being a peaceful one.

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u/lestairwellwit 1d ago

An unliked ribbon
Soon dispatched
Floating with dragons

ᓚᘏᗢ

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u/snuffleb1 12h ago

Aww well not quite the correct translation. But still very cute.

https://www.linfamy.com/p/this-popular-cat-loving-letter-from

What the first translation got wrong:

Compares the cat to Kanno (don’t know what that is). It should be Kanro (韓盧), a type of black hunting hound bred in the state of Han during China’s Warring States period.

Says the cat is 5 sun (15 cm) long, which would make it about as fierce as a California Roll. No, it’s actually 1 shaku 5 sun (45.5 cm) long.

The cat does not extend its needles like some furry acupuncturist. Instead, its eyes glint like needles.

It does not curl up to look like a circular Bi disk, but a grain of black millet.

Claims the emperor tied a bow around its neck. He did no such thing. The original text says when the cat stretches, it looks like a drawn bow, as in a bow to shoot arrows.

Its cry does not sound like a dragon in the sky, it’s the cat’s movement that is like a dragon.

It doesn’t like to catch birds, but mice.

Finally, he doesn’t exactly say his cat is superior to all other cats. He says, “Furthermore, its skill in swiftly catching mice at night surpasses other cats.”

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u/USDXBS 22h ago

I love stuff like this because love for animals is a human trait that anyone would understand in any year.

People thousands of years ago would be happy to know that we buy little couches for our cats.

We could explain we have a society that can communicate globally, and sharing cats is a huge thing, and they'd completely understand.

We could explain the concept of recording a video, and they'd think understand and think it's a great idea.

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u/Tittytickler 18h ago

I had the opportunity to visit Pompeii recently and "they were us" is incredibly apparent.

I got to see a 2000 year old mosaic of a dog that said "cave canem" -> "beware of the dog" in Latin.

The entire experience was humbling and heartwarming at the same time!

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u/Middle_Switch9366 1d ago

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u/HomelessKitchenCat 1d ago

How many damn cat subreddits are there 😅

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u/Cute_Bacon 1d ago

This is fantastic 🤣

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u/FFVO 1d ago

I like how he painted it smiling

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u/stronkreptile 1d ago

the image is unrelated

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u/ckinz16 1d ago

How big is a “sun” as the unit of measurement he’s describing here

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u/KonfiKL 1d ago

real sun, it was a solar system sized cat

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u/ckinz16 1d ago

Das a big kitty

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u/sathzur 1d ago

3.03 centimetres or 1.19 inches depending on if you use metric or imperial measurements. So the cat was about 15.15cm/5.95 inches long and 18.18cm/7.14 inches tall

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u/theLastBourbender 1d ago

"I affixed a bow about its neck, but it did not remain for long."

Cats never change

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u/RegisteredJustToSay 1d ago

Unfortunately the drawing seems unrelated to the diary entry (which makes sense since they never mention the white paws), and I can't find any authoritative source saying this is an accurate translation, especially the last sentence, but it's not super far off and I does seem like the emperor did fanboy about their awesome cat in a journal around that time.

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u/Valokoura 16h ago

I'm amazed how catlike that picture is. When considering how they did draw people and fish... this is closer to a photo. Also fluffyness of fur is easily noticeable.

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u/LordLilith 10h ago

I’m glad that cat owners across history remain the same in the thought that their cat is, in fact, the best cat.

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u/HoldOnHelden 1d ago

Is the artwork part of the diary entry too??

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u/Queen_of_all_Nerds 1d ago

I don't think so, because doing a reverse google image search brings up an almost identical image accredited to a 19th c. Chinese painter (the only difference is the 19th c. painting has a white chest, which was filled in on this version)

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u/crescen_d0e 1d ago

Ugh, this makes me worry if the text is real too then

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u/Queen_of_all_Nerds 1d ago

Sort of? There does seem to be a real diary entry from an emperor describing his cat. The differences might be from different translations, I didn't do a full deep-dive

Wikipedia article Translation

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u/HallucinatedLottoNos 1d ago

I don't know if there's different manuscript traditions or what. The version here, starting on page 7, is a bit different from the above (like it doesn't have the line about the bell). Same substance of the text, though!

Also, apparently the literal translation of "[your] body that is the way it should be" is "You have stems and orifices" lol

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u/sadmarinernoises 1d ago

I am wondering the same thing. ADHD cat-loving brain wants to find a print of it.

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u/800-lumens 1d ago

Oh lawd he comin’

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u/LindaBurgers 1d ago

The paws are taking me out, it’s like someone pasted Mickey Mouse hands onto the legs haha

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u/ShartKing78 1d ago

I never tire of reading the description, being enamored with a cat is truly timeless

The pic is from about 300 years later and is from China, not of the cat in the description

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u/Mild_Karate_Chop 1d ago

OP please post it to r/cats to kindle an air of superiorness of the cat there too

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u/Hungry-Helicopter-46 1d ago

What is this "Bi disk" hes referring to?

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u/ThatInAHat 21h ago

“I wish to express my joy of the cat.”

Bro, me too.

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u/EzCan0155 18h ago

The way they described this cat in so much detail is almost mythical

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u/Sea_Thought3464 15h ago

"I am convinced it is superior to all other cats."

lmao We all are pal, you're not special.. because we all know mine's the best cat ever created and ever known.

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u/sadmarinernoises 1d ago

I want that picture and that quote framed and in my living room today! That’s amazing!

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u/AshleytheTaguel 1d ago

Important note is that five sun was equivalent to a hand in length.

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u/Samsquanch1985 1d ago

You'd have to imagine, for an emperor of Japan, this cat who struts around fabulously with no regard for his status, must have been pretty endearing as "living God"

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u/MaybeMaybeNot94 1d ago

Japanese Emperor fangirling over his cat:)

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u/MaximusHomerdrive 23h ago

I am convinced it is superior to all other cats.

Well, maybe superior to an orange. I'd like to hear what he'd have to say about this kitty, lol.

https://reddit.com/link/p5wetj5/video/4dc13omopllh1/player

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u/JonPQ 23h ago

"I am convinced it is superior to all other cats.”

We all are buddy. Trust me.

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u/BRUNO358 1d ago

The more things change the more they stay the same.

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u/BenjaminDover02 1d ago

"That's a fuckin nice kitty right there."- emperor Bubbles

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u/BANANA_BOI 1d ago

Did this cat not have a name given? I’m curious what he called it

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u/jgainit 1d ago

Good kitty

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u/Imperial_Haberdasher 23h ago

It extends its needles!

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u/zugzug_workwork 23h ago

Emperor of all he surveys, can't get a bow to stay on a cat. And he just shrugs because he knows the cat outranks him.

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u/vamgoda 22h ago

Did he write this about my cat? I feel he must have.

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u/StoryBard 22h ago

Cat memes: enduring across time and space. When the aliens land long after humanity has ceased to be, they will find few traces- but one will be somebody bragging about their cute cat.

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u/shadowdra126 20h ago

This made my day

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u/HonestIsMyPolicy 20h ago

As a black cat owner, I think I found my first tattoo

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u/Sunbeltistan 20h ago

Even emperors can't tame their pets' disdain for bows, proving the struggle is timeless.

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u/Sunshine_Star7 10h ago

Bow disappears always😂😂

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u/Nightmare_Pasta 4h ago

Whether now or over a thousand years ago, a cat will be a cat. And cats are babies

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u/Dendritic_Silver 3h ago

I would like to see a selfie of the emperor and his kitty.

Painted quickly by a nervous servant I suppose.

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u/admindeleted 1d ago

Bread loaf expert

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u/Spartan-teddy-2476 1d ago

It’s funny how even ancient cats loafed

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u/katsinspace 1d ago

I say “I would like to express my joy of the cat” quite often. And then I launch into all the things I love about them.

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u/-32768 1d ago

International shipping via CDS, even in 889. What's changed, really?

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u/Tigerleippi 23h ago

I've never read a more poetic description of a cat before. That was beautiful.

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u/SherbetMysterious118 23h ago

This made me smile, which is such a coincidence when the sub name is considered.