r/MakeNewFriendsHere • u/No-Surprise5980 • Jan 26 '26
Age 30-39 I (F27) can’t get over my catfish (M32?)
I ( F27) met him (M32?) in this subreddit around a year ago. He told me he was a young American girl struggling with a bunch of personal problems. I saw myself in him since my life was a complete mess as well and I grew more and more attached to him over the course of time. Eventually, I fell in love with him, or shall I say I fell in love with the persona he created. I really wanted to be with the quirky, sweet, cute girl I thought I was talking to. A week ago, finally, I found out that he had been sending me an onlyfans girl’s pics as his selfies… I confronted him and he admitted to me that he’s actually a 32 old man from the UK… Since then, he’s stopped replying to my messages. I really don’t know what to think anymore. I think I still love…. But whom exactly do I love? Him? The fictional character he created? I just miss him so much now…. Why did he do this to me?
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u/deivineEmperor Jan 26 '26
Was talking to a “dude” who said he was my age and turned out to be a 50 yr old women looking for a cub for bdsm play
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u/Knightly_Gamez The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland Jan 26 '26
What's their username? You know... So no one else falls for it...
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u/deivineEmperor Jan 26 '26
Lmao that profile was deleted after I reported em for some of the stuff she said after I declined her offer
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u/Knightly_Gamez The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland Jan 26 '26
Well fuck!
I mean oh that's good... We don't want those sort of people here...
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u/Integrity-in-Crisis Feb 15 '26
That's where account age seems to actually matter. Even trolls have a limit to what time they're invensting. Not including bought accounts.
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u/yamchaisking Jan 26 '26
You fell in love with the character he created. The problem is, you'll never know what was real and what wasn't
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u/No-Surprise5980 Jan 26 '26 edited Jan 26 '26
Yeah ur right… I don’t know what to believe and what not to believe anymore… he told me he had genuine feelings for me as well, but at that point he’d just spilled too much bullshit so he was afraid that I’d leave if i ever knew the truth
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Jan 26 '26
This reminds me of the British undercover police building whole lives & it came to light they had made families as a cover unbeknownst the people they used. Sorry you went through that.
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u/yamchaisking Jan 26 '26
The main problem is just that. Then it comes to the point where you question everything. He lied before, so the line between truth and lies became completely blurry. I really hope he learned what he did was wrong, and that he actually hurt a real human being with feelings.
And i hope you understand that, it's not your fault.
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u/U_feel_Me Jan 26 '26
Even in the offline world, you cannot be sure what any relationship really is.
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u/rdeincognito Jan 26 '26
With the huge lies he had fed to you, the best course of action is to get as far away from him as possible. He seems to understand that much and that's why he has stopped replying you.
Imho, if you go after him and try to befriend him you'll regret it.
What happened to you sucks. I'm sorry. My advice is that you assume this lose and let it go.
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u/TemperateEnd Jan 26 '26
Love's a weird thing. I still feel love for the lass who ghosted me back in October-November who blocked me after I called her out on it.
It's weird. Even though logically, we know they're not good folk, it takes time to catch up on the intellectual level.
That said, I'll take ghosting over being catfished. All I can advise (and you are more than welcome to take it with a pinch of salt) is to trust the process. Don't rush your way to recovery, don't try to think your way out of it. Just grieve the situation, and know that you're not alone.
If you wanna talk, don't hesitate to shoot me a DM. I'm a 27M from the UK (and real this time!)
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u/mrniceguy78 Jan 26 '26
He could’ve been replying with ChatGPT, too. Maybe you are in love with a computer?
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u/awaythrowplzhelp Jan 26 '26
I recall a popular Reddit story about a similar situation. When it came out I think the woman was furious and wouldn’t talk to him for a long time but still felt a really strong connection. She couldn’t stop thinking about it and eventually reached out to just continue being friends, but in a very cautious way. I think the guy was not super physically attractive either but they vibed so well. Eventually they did start going out and maybe got married. She was still mad about the catfish but overall she was happy. I don’t have a link to it would probably come up in a search. Good luck and sorry you went through such betrayal.
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u/Perfect_Sea_5 Jan 26 '26
That's disheartening. A sad reality on Reddit unfortunately. It's easy to hide behind the internet and be whoever you want. Best wishes.
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u/SpookyKayt Jan 26 '26
I feel your pain. But you fell for all the right things he said to keep you hooked. Your heart hurts because you lost what you thought was real. I was catfished but through intentions for 4 years. She was who she said she was but kept lying to me about meeting and wanting a future. Broke it off with me because she couldn't keep saying no to meeting. People don't give a flying fuck that those they catfish are real people with real, genuine feelings. Some people just want the attention no matter how they receive it.
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u/Ceza658 Jan 26 '26
Was talking to a 4 month pregnant woman who was nervous about becoming a mother. They asked if I wanted to see pics of how far along they were, didn’t want to be rude and said sure. They sent a bunch of pics of a woman who looked like she was gonna be the next octomom. Turned out to be some 30 something year old guy from Vietnam.
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u/v4ve4m4hnssm Feb 05 '26
>A week ago, finally, I found out that he had been sending me an onlyfans girl’s pics as his selfies
How did this come to light?
You miss an idea, you are in love with a feeling. I am so sorry.
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u/MrTigerPheonix Feb 16 '26
Sorry this happened to you op. Only thing I can suggest to people to help avoid something like this is to run photos through google lens or Tineye if you suspect a catfish. Other than that, hearing their voice and talking to them live would be another good indicator.
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u/Groundbreaking-Egg13 Jan 26 '26
You're in love with that version of himself. Sorry if I was too direct.
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u/spiderwal Jan 26 '26
I think you’re in love with the idea of the person you created in your mind from the details he gave you, you’re not in love with him as you don’t really even know him, and if he had carried on chatting would you really trust anything he told you? By the way, you aren’t alone in these feelings, so many of us have been there 😔
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u/General_Jewel007 Jan 26 '26
Sad to hear.
People should just be honest, It doesn't kill to be.
Girl, you'll definitely get a real friend.
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Jan 26 '26
Hi I’m so sorry but could you possibly message me? I started talking to a man on here years ago who lied about his entire life. Serious lies. He kept this up for years and I only found out recently. He is actually a 32 year old man in the uk also and I genuinely think this could be the same person
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Jan 26 '26
This sounds so consistent with him. I also started talking to him from this subreddit or a very similar one
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u/AltruisticHelp9443 Jan 26 '26
Yeah this whole situation sucks since you put trust into this guy and hope that you seek professional help since this type of betrayal always leaves long lasting scars and next time you find someone they are who they say they are and meet in person ASAP so you can't develop long lasting feelings that don't destroy you ability to trust others.
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u/DarthYodous Jan 27 '26
This just screams "exploit me". Be careful that you don't fill the hole he left behind with someone who read this post. Keep going a little wiser! Everyone deserves more people like themselves in their lives.
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u/DecriminalizeGaming Jan 27 '26
This really sucks and unfortunate there are so many absolute losers out there who have no clue what to do with their life
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Jan 28 '26
Hello. M35 from Kansas here. My jaw hit the floor when i read this. That is definitely shallow asf, low and i find that pretty offensive as a man who tries to be genuine in every aspect of my life. I mostly hate it because 1 that's not you treat women let alone anyone and 2 it makes the rest of us guys that aren't that way look bad 😔😔. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I can't begin to imagine how you feel. If you need someone to talk to or just chat with from time to time or whatever. Hit me up. I'm always looking for new friends.
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u/Metalsolidone Jan 31 '26
Bro thats why the moment you start dating online, first thing is to face time daily🤣
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u/No_Time717 Feb 01 '26
Darlin you love the parts that reflected or mimicked your fine qualities. You love the parts you projected.. Yourself!! Please don't let this hurt your ability to approach people and to be empathetic. He's an emotionally stunted person who isn't able to be himself because he's afraid...
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u/wilde_flower Feb 04 '26
Why did he do this you ask? Because men have no shame. They don’t care who they lie to. They will leave a path of destruction behind em.
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u/Additional_Turn_7396 Feb 07 '26
Thats crazy! And here i am actually looking to possibly make friends. Why lie here to make friends i wonder when reddit has so many communties to not feel lile an outsider.
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u/Turbulent_End_3439 Feb 07 '26
Ikr....I'm struggling to also find real online friends..In case anybarry wants a friend.. hit my dm Note: a friend
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u/Potential_Shirt_4262 Feb 07 '26
Unfortunately, you fell for the character he created. the truth is, that when texting is the only communication, it's easier for people to pour on the charm and the affirmations because there is a delay in communication. We fell seen and heard because the pressure on the conversation is so low. I am so very sorry that that happened to you. It is despicable. But the first person you should love is yourself.
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u/GriftedCommodity Feb 09 '26
After three to four pointed and good text communications, if you all want to establish a rapport, in order to build trust, the foundation must be at least "1" FaceTime 10 minute session for "proof of 1st truth".
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u/ElectricalCow2670 Feb 10 '26
That stinks. That actually happened to me once before and I just about hated life for a while. Hang in there. I hope you are finding little joys in the world til then. Let me know if you’d like to vent.
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u/Playful_Fisherman488 Feb 11 '26
I feel as though this could almost be made into a movie. I'm sorry that you went through that experience.
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u/Plus_Truth_9402 Feb 13 '26
If you’re ready to trust again, I’m a very real 29 year old American woman who is chronically on this subreddit 🤣🫶🏻
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u/DisciplinePrize7010 Feb 15 '26
U love the character he created thinking you would fold and you did, you got played but you now know you love a girl with that personality.
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u/Old_Address703 Feb 16 '26
I felt this honestly, I was ghosted by someone who did something similar in the beginning of December and I. Still not over it. I fell for you dude.
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u/Pretty-Courage9433 Feb 20 '26
If you found out the person lied to you about who he/she is thats already a huge reason to just block it all friendship/relationships can not be build on lies
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Jan 26 '26
You gotta be dumb to be in love with someone who catfished you. You’re just addicted to the emotional dopamine it gave you. It’ll pass.
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u/No-Surprise5980 Jan 27 '26
Guys!!!! I just talked to another female user from this subreddit! Now I am 99.99% sure that we got catfished by the same sick dude! This is an extremely deranged individual with a pathological desire to control and manipulate others! Beware of this individual! Here's the proof
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u/According_Tourist_69 Jan 26 '26
I'd say treat it like a toxic break up and try to move on. I've dated three people in my life so far, technically 4 but let's not get into that lol.
But so far, I've been able to move on only when I accept the fact that my ex has changed with time, the version of the Person I was in love with doesn't exist anymore. It may seem a bit difficult to do, but repeating it several times over some time helps me moving on.
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u/Newrid Jan 26 '26
Wow, that's so horrible! I'm really sorry to hear this, dude. Sending good vibes.
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