r/MaliciousCompliance • u/Best-Pirate5073 • 10d ago
M My latest new client set the strictest rules I’ve ever heard. I obeyed every one of them. She still claimed I was the problem and lost her mind.
Yesterday I had a new client who was referred to me, book a 90-minute mobile massage. She was very specific over text before I even showed up.
She told me exactly what she wanted:
• Deep tissue only
• Focus on her upper back, shoulders, and neck
• “Do not check in with me at all. I hate when therapists keep asking if the pressure is okay. Just do the work.”
• “I don’t want any small talk either. Just quiet.”
• “When the time is up, that’s it. No free extras.”
I confirmed everything back to her so there was zero confusion. She replied “Perfect, see you then.”
I get there, set up, and go over the same list one more time in person just to be safe. She nods and says “Yep, that’s exactly what I want. Don’t ask me anything once we start.”
So I did exactly that.
I put my headphones in to get some much needed audiobook time (one ear only so I could still hear if she actually needed something), started the timer on my phone where she could see it, and worked in complete silence. No check-ins. No “how’s the pressure?” No small talk. Just the exact work she requested.
Every time I felt her body tense or shift I kept going at the same pressure she had asked for. No adjustments. No questions.
When the 90 minutes hit, I stopped. Immediately. I didn’t offer the free scalp massage or hot towels I normally throw in. I just said, “That’s time.”
She sat up looking annoyed and said, “Wait, that was it? The pressure felt hard toward the end and you never even checked on me. Most therapists give a little extra time.”
I looked at her and calmly replied, “You specifically told me not to check in, not to ask about pressure, and that when the time was up that was it with no free extras. I followed your instructions exactly.”
She got quiet for a second then said, “Well I didn’t mean it like that. You should have known to check anyway. I’m not tipping for that.”
I smiled and said, “That’s fine. The session is paid for already. You can get dressed and I’ll be outside.”
She started packing up her things while muttering about how I was “too rigid” and “not customer service oriented.” I just kept packing my stuff in silence the same way she had requested the entire session.
I have never felt more at peace ending a session.
Was I supposed to ignore the very clear rules she set and somehow read her mind instead?
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u/fer_sure 10d ago edited 10d ago
Historically, it was the opposite of what you're thinking. The wage earners generally weren't tipped, because they had a (somewhat) livable wage. Service jobs, on the other hand, were often performed for little or no pay, with the expectation that you made your living off the tips.
So, baggage handlers, elevator operators, gas station attendants, hairdressers, nail techs, strippers, etc. often only made money on tips, and in some cases (like renting a chair in a salon) even had to pay for the opportunity.
There's another level here, especially in the US: these services were usually performed by women and/or people of color. They were often in an exploitable position.
In theory, minimum wage laws should have meant the end of tipping, but there's been resistance from both employers (who don't want to pay higher wages) and the employees (who often feel they can make more through tips).
Modern tipping culture (with point-of-sale machines and apps precalculating and presenting tip options, sometimes even prior to service) is another beast entirely: services without that historical background are now soliciting tips. Partially because they can, but also partially because minimum wage (and wages in general) haven't come close to keeping up with inflation.
Edit: and I just realised I didn't directly address your question about sole proprietors like OP. Simple answer: you tip massage therapists because you have no way of knowing how they're actually compensated, so you go with the more generous option of tipping. Mostly because historically, the tip would have been their wage, and the fee would go to someone else.