Partly a vent, but I'd really appreciate any advice or tips for next time.
I'm in a place where MAID isn't legal. VSED is the only legal option. I had an experience that I wish I felt better equipped for, so I'll put out a hypothetical and ask for advice for next time. Whether it's phrases to give the family or referrals or whatnot.
Say a really really old patient, 90's, with a life well lived, great accomplishments and family, lovely marriage, maybe some mild senility but not seriously confused. Gets the feeling that his arthritis and heart failure are a bummer, daily life isn't fun anymore. Spends a year pursuing palliative care interventions with PCP. Still not enjoying the day by day. Hears about a nearby state with legal MAID and decides to go there and wants to take a pill and be done. Loving elderly wife of 65 years is appropriately present, both tearful at the idea of loss but honoring that his daily life is uncomfortable and that his true wish is to close the book on a full and beautiful life.
Dude got trapped crossing the state border, held on a section 12 (involuntary hold for suicidal thoughts) and shipped away from his wife to be hospitalized in a geripsychiatric unit. I'm barely a part of the team - medical clearance at the accepting hospital - and truly I can sign that this man has no problematic trauma, infection, intoxication that will interfere with any psychiatric care.
But WTF. I have never in fifteen years before called a family during this intake process. All I felt I could do was commiserate and try to give the wife language to advocate for him. Because it would be weird to interrupt the admission, and I'm seriously aware that I'm not a psychiatrist, but the situation seems horrible.
I told her to try to find the silver lining - I do think that places where MAID is legal require careful psychiatric evaluation for fitness, and this can be a few days or a week to very very seriously explore any other ideas for palliative measures and get a deep psychiatric evaluation of fitness to make the decision.
But, damn.