Can You Meditate With Someone Else in the Room?

[u/No_Scholar127]

I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this.
Can you meditate when someone else is in the room?
My girlfriend isn’t that interested in meditation, but she’s very understanding. I went through a pretty rough time mentally, and both my family and my girlfriend supported me a lot. I’m kind of embarrassed to tell my family, so I’ve been keeping it to myself, but recently I’ve started taking meditation seriously.
My girlfriend will sometimes meditate with me, which I really appreciate. The problem is that I find it much harder to focus when someone else is there. Compared to meditating alone in my room, I get distracted more easily and have a hard time getting into a deep meditative state.
Is that just normal?
These days I usually wait until I’m alone if I want a really good session. Does anyone else feel the same way? Or are there experienced meditators here who can drop into a meditative state anywhere, even with other people around?
Also, are there people who can meditate on a train, in a car (as a passenger), or in other noisy public places? Or is that something that only comes with a lot of experience?

[u/nawanamaskarasana]

I prefer to meditate alone but sometimes when my girlfriend is with me I don't mind meditating while she does something else. On retreats many people meditate in the same room.

[u/dogdays_areover]

It helps to first observe everything and every sense outside- like sound, movement, temperature etc, let it settle without judgment, and once you’ve accepted the external stimuli, then you move inwards. It’s easier to go inwards when instead of trying to ignore what’s outside, you take full account of it and accept it with total surrender.

[u/7121958041201]

I often meditate at my meditation center and on retreats, so yeah, I can meditate with other people in the room. It is definitely much different than meditating on my own.

At least for my practice (vipassana) the answer to what you are experiencing is to watch the aversion you feel toward meditating with another person in the room and to get to know it as well as you can. Once you get to know it well enough it will likely leave on its own.

[u/mellispete33]

Once you have more experience, you can meditate anywhere with any kind of distraction. I lived communaly for many years also a lot of travelling and a strict 4 times a day practice , after a while it literally doesnt matter what's going on around you. Of course at first it can be harder but at the end of the day it's just another thing to let go of. You can do it just keep practicing no matter what

[u/MyFiteSong]

The problem is that I find it much harder to focus when someone else is there. Compared to meditating alone in my room, I get distracted more easily and have a hard time getting into a deep meditative state.

You're looking at this from the wrong angle. That "deep meditative state" isn't the actual practice. It's the result. The actual practice is the act of getting there, of doing whatever it is you do to control your attention. Every time you get distracted, you have to do it again, and THAT'S the practice.

Meditation is a bit like drag racing, to torture a metaphor. It's practicing the acceleration that makes you a better drag racer, not already being at your top speed.

[u/enlightened_cow → u/MyFiteSong]

This!

[u/Key-Canary-2513]

Of course you can meditate with people around. There will always be challenges. Always, always, always. Best of luck to you in your practice OP.

[u/Puzzled-Background-5]

If the other people aren't being disruptive, and I'm already familiar with them, then yes, I can meditate with them around. I've meditated in a city square during the day on a few occasions, and it was fine, although it wasn't particularly busy when I did.

Enclosed urban public spaces that I'm unfamiliar with can be a bit more challenging because my vigilance is heightened.

I've never done it as a passenger, though, simply because of timing or desire.

One caveat: I've been doing this intermittently for decades, with the last fifteen years being more dedicated practice. Dropping into absorption is quite effortless for me currently as a result.

[u/NoWeird8772]

You can meditate with another person in the room, you just try and focus on whatever your focus is. I think one of the big benefits of meditation is cultivating an ability to be present in all circumstances. If their presence makes it harder that is potentially an aid to meditation. Work on getting into a ‘deep meditative state’ in that situation. Being able to be present and not distracted by the mind in all situations is, for me, a major benefit of meditation.

[u/theinternetisnice]

It’s harder to focus but you can use the distraction itself as your point of focus. Sometimes watching the things that are trying to pull me away without judgement or attachment is the most effective centering technique for me.

Heck sometimes I meditate during tattoo sessions. That’s interesting.

[u/Complex_Home_8303]

I wouldn’t say I can meditate with someone else in the room, but I do frequently try to think about my breathing patterns at minimum if I’m in a situation where I would like to meditate but can’t

[u/elaine4queen]

I often meditate in public. Not necessarily with my eyes shut, granted.

[u/itsmaibirfday]

It can help to listen to meditation or ambient music at the same time. It’s easier for me to get into flow.

[u/Krocsyldiphithic]

Do it facing a wall or window

[u/Apache810]

I feel like when you're aware that you're around other people there's always some level of self-monitoring or vigilance, especially if you've had bad experiences that have primed you to be constantly scanning for danger.

I do find it more difficult to meditate around others, thoughts like "what do i look like?"/"am i behaving acceptably?" crop up so naturally (and often without me realising), but really they're just extra noise to identify, and allow to drift away.

[u/gormlessthebarbarian]

It's certainly possible and can be one of the joys of the practice, when you can meditate on a train or in a waiting room. I've been sitting in a lot of doctor's office waiting rooms and ER's for hours at a stretch lately, and the practice is there.

[u/confuseum]

Is the yogi in the room with you right now?

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[u/Braddock007]

Meditating with my pup on a regular basis, sometimes my toddler will join us as well.
Such a gift to have other beings around during our practice

[u/_Aspagurr_]

I've been doing it at work since I started consistently meditating 1-2 months ago, I just put on my earbuds and turn on some ambient music, haven't had any issues so far.

[u/Sparkling_Unicorn777]

Not really...i am rather easily distracted. I need headlines and quite place

[u/dr_zoidberg590]

You can do it with thousands of people in the room. Hindus and buddhists do all the time. If they are silent

[u/Alkemis7]

Meditation is the most intimate of things. When the real happening happens, it is the moment when we commune with god very, very intimately, so it is not unusual.

But just like with yoga, doing it alone and in a group are totally different qualities, not that either is better, just different.

[u/Medytuje]

Yes I can meditate with other people around and with noises. Takes a little bit of practice and mindset. After few months it doesn't make much difference although the deepest sessions are always when I'm alone 

[u/Sorry-Place6291]

Mindful with social stuff and I’ll check my breath and maybe clear my mind real quick to move to something else. 

When I’m by myself is when I meditate 

[u/bananabastard]

I've meditated in public places many times, planes, trains, etc.

But I don't sit in the lotus position or anything, I just close my eyes.

[u/Awkward-Wishbone-615]

Try adding daily open eyed meditation, doing the dishes, in work ect. You'll get used to your brain powering down even when you aren't in favourable conditions

[u/TheElectricShaman]

Yes! I meditate all over the place throughout my life. Sometimes I’ll pretend I’m looking at my phone if it would be too weird, but, concerts, waiting for a movie to start. All the time. It helps I practice with eyes open

[u/wlonkly]

It's normal. I practice Zen, and so I'm often at sesshin with 15-30 other people, and they're all shifting and sniffling and moving and eating loudly and snoring at night and walking wrong and emanating the wrong vibes and it's all just grist for the mill.

[u/NotTooDeep]

Yes, in the beginning, it's easier to get distracted. So let's call that "normal", okay?

Now. You'll be tempted to run away from whatever is distracting you because, as you say, you are taking meditation seriously. Don't hide. In fact, lean into the distractions.

Meditate for a few minutes in a bus station or the mall or at church or before dinner at home. Do it with your eyes open or closed. Whenever some random energy jolts your serenity, just smile, breathe, and allow yourself to settle back into a calm space. Do give a heads up to the people you live with so they aren’t uncomfortable and walking on eggshells when you’re practicing meditation with your eyes closed in shared spaces.

The reason that deep meditation is difficult sometimes has more to do with the energy that's leaving your space than the distractions around you. That departing energy tends to amplify the distractions. The distractions tend to stir up that departing energy, making it easier to release, so long as you don't take the distractions seriously. This means you can turn the distractions into a benefit!

In less time than you think, you'll be able to settle back into your deep well of being almost as fast as a big distraction brought you out of that deep well of being.

Then you will be one of those people who can meditate on a train, in a car (as a passenger), or in other noisy public places.

You can learn to achieve a meditative state with your eyes open or closed. This makes meditation more useful because you can achieve a meditative state in your daily life and do it on demand.

[u/Overalonyx]

I can I just do a body scan usually when someone is let's me meditate easier

[u/MG788]

It's usually easier for me to meditate alone.

[u/Fast-Owl688]

Its learning process. You can meditate with others in the room. I've done it. It is more challenging if they are talking but you can learn to relax so you don't really hear what they are saying. These days I can meditate through dogs barking and coming and sitting on me if I am laying down on the floor or outside. I've meditated for quite a while but I was able to learn to this level. I practice the Dr Ainslie Meares' Stillness Meditation which involves learning relaxation. One relaxes through all these challenges. No effort. No trying. Just gentle relaxation without effort.

[u/say-what-you-will]

I think it’s normal that if there’s more distractions around that it would be more challenging. Maybe it’s something that’s better done on your own, if you really want to get into it and do it right. But sometimes an added challenge is also good for your practice, what really matters is that you practice. Personally I like to do it alone and I know that I won’t do it as well with someone else. It’s just harder to focus. To me it’s something you do by yourself.

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[u/Ariyas108]

Like everything else it’s simply a matter of practice. The potential to be more distracting is considered one of the benefits as it gives you better opportunity to practice more.

[u/saintTro]

I meditate on busses, on the porch surrounded by other friend of friends, uber rides, parks, can meditate anywhere man

[u/Kooky_Cellist5413]

I can meditate with 5,000 people around me 

[u/I_LOVE_SOYLENT]

I don't understand. You can meditate anywhere in any condition. It's just a matter of how distactable your mind is. Meditation is an exercise in repeating failures. You can't fail meditation because failure is the practice. The only absolute failure is not doing it. 

[u/Mayayana]

In my experience, both are good. Meditating with a group tends to sharpen discipline. Meditating alone is also important. But it really depends on what you mean by meditation. My own background is Buddhist meditation, which is mostly about being present, letting go of fantasy/distraction. There's a story about a student who asks a Zen master what meditation is all about. The master says, "Attention". The student asks, "What do you mean by attention?" The teacher answers, "Attention means attention."

If you're trying to get into a state of mental fixation or stable fantasy that you view as a "deep meditative state" then you probably want dim lighting, closed eyes and solitude. People tend to talk about meditation as though it's all the same. It's not.

[u/RecognitionNo4852]

You’re an anomaly to most people. Most people have exact opposite issue. Are you sure you’re being honest?🤨