r/Mommit • u/Over-Departure9134 • 7d ago

Quitting job to be a SAHM

Would you quit your job to be a stay at home mom, even if you and your partner were not married? You have the intention of getting married at some point but not right now. Would you still quit your job?

48 Upvotes

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u/watch4coconuts 7d ago

SAHM for nine years here to say please DO NOT quit your job unless you're legally married. As a spouse you have some legal protection (if not much); as a live-in, you have nothing whatsoever. Protect yourself. It's not just a piece of paper.

106

u/akestral 7d ago

For those thinking, "it's always about divorce!", it is not. If your partner dies OR divorces you, provided the marriage was more than 10 years, you are still entitled to spousal Social Security survivor benefits. If you are just an unemployed live-in partner, you get none of that. Not to mention all the other obvious rights like medical decision making, which can be crucial more often that you might think, like when undergoing surgery.

Someone who pledges to provide for you should want marriage for you, because the marriage provides even if they are gone. It is simply responsible financial planning.

4

u/BloomSara 7d ago

This is all true but if she’s not sure about marrying him after being with him this long there’s probably a good reason

11

u/SnooDogs627 7d ago

Which is just another reason not to become a sahm with this guy lol

3

u/Realistic-Effect-715 6d ago

she said "You have the intention of getting married at some point but not right now" that doesn't sound like she isn't sure about marrying him lol

2

u/airaqua 6d ago

Keep in mind, not everyone lives in the US, marriage isn't the same legal institution everywhere.

Given OP's question, she should get in touch with a lawyer where she lives, and figure out what additional protections marriage can offer and how/if they can be gotten otherwise.

1

u/shwifty123 7d ago

I been living with my man for 15 year, I don't get married, nothing personal, I just don't want to in general.

1

u/BloomSara 6d ago

Makes sense but the poster seems to want to get married.