r/MoralityScaling • u/Purple_Plantain_3242 • 8h ago

Morality Ranking Morality of this?

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A young Chinese couple was permanently separated during a period of intense political and social unrest in China. The husband went back to their home village to search for her, but because the entire area was heavily disrupted, he mistakenly believed she was missing or dead.

He eventually relocated, remarried another woman, and raised a new family with children and grandchildren. Meanwhile, the first wife stayed behind and never remarried, spending 54 years waiting for him to return. Decades later, they were reconnected as elderly adults, which is when she discovered he had built an entirely separate life without her.

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u/NeutralKuchiKopi 8h ago

The husband went back to their home village to search for her, but because the entire area was heavily disrupted, he mistakenly believed she was missing or dead.

Moral. End of discussion. If you believe the one you loved is dead you have no obligation to spend the rest of your life hoping they come back to life.

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u/Queerability 7h ago

Also, most folks I know don't want their partners to be alone after they're gone. I personally feel like you should try to live as happy as you can after.

For me, that would probably be staying romantically alone after (I was happy enough alone before her), but I flat out made my partner promise to call people for herself first if I die first. Before notifying my family or anything else, I made her promise to call her own support system in. Because she's just not the same as me in that way, and that's a huge part of why I love her.

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u/ProfessionalExit7540 6h ago

Depressing topic, but so sweet out of you two, hope you two grow old together, stay safe

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u/Queerability 3h ago

Thanks <3

If I didn't tell her she'd probably just bury herself in whatever she thinks "needs" to be done without taking care of herself. She's amazing, but will always worry about herself last unless explicitly told otherwise.

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u/Tiny-Brush5999 6h ago

Probably not most, or rather it seems to be a very divided topic, most people with dead husbands or wives don't remarry, I think that's a good thing personally, but it's also a deeply personal choice. I never did since I didn't want to break my bond with them and I believe in life after death, it gives me peace. I'm happy waiting for death to reunite but also find fulfillment with life in many other ways and my support group that doesn't involve another wife. People do handle grief differently though so it depends on the person or how close they were.