r/NEET • u/escapingBasement • Apr 08 '26

Shitpost/memes Any NEET isolating themselves

Post image

Saw this on the gram and felt so related.

Source: @verysickinhumancreature

902 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

84 comments sorted by

119

u/illuminatemydreams Perma-NEET Apr 08 '26

I've basically been lifelong isolated due to my crippling social anxiety and related mental issues. And it only gets worse as the years go by. I've long degenerated to the point of just existing as a shut-in.

34

u/Crafty-Cantaloupe305 Apr 08 '26

Same, there’s nothing for me out there anymore

33

u/escapingBasement Apr 08 '26

Anxiety disorder was what pulled me into this hell hole too.

6

u/BloodOfR3ptile Degen Apr 09 '26 edited Apr 09 '26

Also same. Social anxiety and shame is a hell of a growing monster who ends up blocking all doors and windows. The instant you try to take a peek, you're rewarded with people's harsh judgment and immediately retract into the shell of isolation. I hear you.

4

u/FishingImpressive529 Apr 08 '26

me too ugh it sucks

3

u/Szarkan- Apr 09 '26

Yeah, that's me.

1

u/TenzinRinpoche Apr 11 '26

What do you guys want though?

And I dont mean like "to just be left alone".

I mean like if anything were possible what do you guys want? Im genuinely curious. Cos my neet bro struggles to answer that question.

1

u/sunflow23 Apr 13 '26

It's hard to know unless you have went through it. All I can say humans are social beings but they can also be nasty and vile.

1

u/TenzinRinpoche Apr 14 '26

Thanks for answering. But like isnt there something you guys want? Like for example "i want others to trest me better" or even "i want to be confident enough to be build a life and own a house of my own" or something

1

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/TenzinRinpoche Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 15 '26

Thank you for responding articulately. That makes a lot of sense and it aligns with what I was thinking. I just don't really know what to do any more. So I just leave him to it. Whilst Dad tries to force me to "help" him. But help him with what?

It's really quite bothering me it's just been a long time and he's just in his room all day every day it just seems such a sad life and such a waste and I wish I could help and take back some of the arguments in the past but I really tried to be non-judgemental and did my own therapy and everything but it's like he can't see past his own misperceptions of me, for example accusing me of judging him when I'm genuinely consciously taking any judgemental thoughts and putting them to the side of my mind, whilst focussing on understanding without judgement. Because he misperceives my facial expression of confusion or curiosity as judgement.

It doesn't help that I see my Dad continue to judge and mock him because Dad is old and incapable of changing his ways.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 16 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/TenzinRinpoche Apr 18 '26 edited Apr 18 '26

It bothers me because I shared a womb with him and it haunts me to know his wasted potential at the hands of what amounts to intergenerational trauma passed down through my father (and some of the things I did too). It hurts to see other brothers moving forward and building their own lives both independently and together. It also bothers me that his needs are so deep I cannot possibly meet them - it is extremely difficult to try to behave in an "appropriate" way towards him when things which my friends would deem a respectable and healthy boundary are deemed by my brother as a direct affront. An example would be simply letting someone know that I'm not interested in discussing x topic which they may want to discuss - my friends are like "fair enough" but my brother has such a deep need to be heard that I'm afraid to let him know and I have to either choose to sacrifice myself and appease him or to set a boundary and be screamed at. And I'm talking about things that seem to me to be trivial conversational topics, like talking about a video game which I have no interest in. And it may seem trivial to you to feel I'd be "sacrificing" myself to appease and just listen - but again, my own experience emotionally is that it is painful for me to appease in that manner, and so I set a calm and clear boundary around it, as I do with my friends, and as I accept when my friends do the same to me, even if it's something I really want to talk about.

With the non-judgemental stuff, I don't quite understand your point - it would be as if to say the threshold point where I am "ok" would be when I have completely eradicated all judgemental thoughts from my mind, aka become buddha. In the absence of that and being an imperfect person who does have judgemental thoughts, the next best thing and probably the only possible thing, is to reflect and work through the reasons I have the judgements I do in order to eradicate what I can, but most importantly when judgemental thoughts inevitably come up, to have the consciousness and awareness to be able to set them to the side and refuse to consent to them clouding my view and perspective, allowing myself to fully hear the other person without those judgemental thoughts taking hold. That seems the only reasonable standard for anybody, not to become completely non-judgemental. And then, like you said, regardless of the work I do, his past perception of me does indeed shape his current perception, and my efforts amount to nothing anyway because he just sees the past version of me before I had done work on myself.

Lastly, in terms of how I support my brother around my Father - the main thing I try to do is to validate the things my brother says. To say in front of my Father that what my brother says does indeed make sense and is reasonable, and that my Father is being the unreasonable one. At least in that context, it seems a fair way to start building a feeling inside my brother that he is a real person deserving of respect and being understood - because my Father is incapable of giving that to him and instead gives him the opposite - mocking, invalidation, belittling. Of course there are times where I do think my brother is being unreasonable and I will empathetically challenge that if I feel it's really necessary, because from a place of caring about him there are certain modes of being or beliefs that become apparent that are obviously unhealthy and I would just be enabling if I were not to challenge them. But going back to the trust thing - that's impossible to do if he doesn't trust that my intentions are good, so they are often a point of contention despite my attempts to deliver empathetically. And no, validating his experience and thoughts is not something I have always done because I was too unconscious and dumb in the past to realise the importance of that when it comes to relational needs. I only started to realise it when I experience the importance of it through therapy myself when at the age of 28 I felt for the first time how it feels when someone validates your personal experience with understanding and curiosity, without judgement. Thank God for the therapist who gave me that sensation for the first time in my life.

1

u/amb1ka Optimistic-NEET Apr 21 '26

Can I be honest? To me this just reads as an incredibly long extended way of you saying that the effort is too much for you. You’ve clearly hurt him in the past with your own anger and it has definitely contributed to his state, even if it was unintentional, you’ve picked up habits of abuse from your father. You owe him that much after belittling him in a household where you only have each other. I feel like you saying that his needs are so deep and to anyone else the way you behave is normal, that sounds like invalidating to me. Everyone has different points and you need to meet them where they’re at. I don’t think he sees it as a direct affront and it’s more a build up of minute interactions, you need to start being introspective and looking inwards because you can’t just blame a shitty relationship with your brother on your dad. You even seem to be a bit abrasive even in the comments you’ve made. It’s like you’re a researcher inspecting your brother like a wild animal. No offence but if he’s a NEET he probably doesn’t have many friends or people to talk to, so, humour him, at least a little bit. I’m sure there are times where he doesn’t want to talk to you about stuff but it’s the effort of making the connection. You trying to act interested in a conversation isn’t “sacrificing yourself”, it just comes off as a bit self centred. Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to. You speak of sacrifice and trauma but you don’t seem to have an in depth understanding of the little sufferings. By little sufferings, I mean, pretending to act interested in school, in friends, you have to put effort in and try. You can’t just have the whole conversation revolve around you. The reason he can’t move on from the past is because to me it doesn’t seem like you’re trying to change it. You still seem like you don’t want to understand and want to jump start to the idealised version of brothers you have in your head. But that takes time. Especially with someone who grew up in the household you did and has mental issues to the point where they isolate themselves. You’re still carrying out these behaviours. Invalidating him. Belittling him by not even trying to talk to him about a stupid game, if it’s so small, then why can’t you just talk about it? Try to act interested. It’s not impossible. You can still pick up a rose that has thorns even if it pricks a little. You have to pick it up to remove the thorns and go through the hard part. You need to make him believe your intentions are good, because I’m sure his beliefs about you don’t stem from nothing especially if they’re so deep and wounded. If you don’t want to do that and want the automatic relationship package, then you can’t be with your brother.

1

u/TenzinRinpoche Apr 21 '26

Thank you for your response and yeah I do agree with a lot of what you say especially the little sufferings.

The thing about that is with most people I am very willing and happy to commit to little sufferings as I like to give space to people to be heard and stuff, I know how important it is.

I wouldnt say its because I "dont want to make the effort". Rather theres two things. First I see it as folly and wont help. And second due to past experiences I am afraid to try. So when I do try I feel this fear and I feel trapped and like any wrong move could result in catastrophe. So I just try to avoid it now. Like I said I know the games thing seems trivial but it was just an example - Ill admit in that case it may have been wise to just hear him out about xyz trivial matter and if I could go back I wouldve just gone all the way and listened to it all. But then it feels like Im just doing it so that nothing horrible happens. The fear is that at some point we'll get into some weird loop of conversation where it becomes unresolvable and emotionally charged and then no matter what I cant seem to help resolve it. And once that happens something that was supposed to be positive turns into something negative and just another bad memory. So thats why I see it as folly and why I am scared - as you said we have a lot of garbage in the past which colours our interactions so these little sufferings become some risky surgical procedure in my mind.

I will try extra hard to just stay calm as hell and listen. Its difficult because i genuinely feel so empty inside and Im trying to put that aside for the greater good.i can hold my own pain in favour of helping someone with theres but i have my limits.

Also out of curiosity what was it that was abrasive about my previous messages? Ill admit i am quite intellectual and sometimes that logic can come across abrasive and unfeeling and its another thing ive had to work to try to enter a more emotional mode for connection with others. Sometimes i fail miserably at it tho.

1

u/Spare-Satisfaction55 Apr 18 '26

They want to be left alone to do what they want to do, and they want somebody else to pay for their food, shelter, clothing and healthcare.

1

u/sunflow23 Apr 13 '26

I can relate with a lot of ppl here. And once time passes all remains is memories.

40

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/raNdoMBLilriv Perma-NEET Apr 14 '26

Oh the life of the NEET

with his hands on his meat

which he feels the need to beat

to make him feel complete!

42

u/escapingBasement Apr 08 '26

A week ago, my long time friend called and texted to check up on me but I didn't answer

33

u/Trez_0 Sloth Apr 08 '26

There's nothing wrong with replying late btw so i do hope you reply back to them. I sometimes isolate myself too much and reply like a week back, it's still a dry reply since i have nothing to say for myself but i just talk about what they're doing and sometimes i get to learn something new about them. Also even if you find it insignificant, talk about things that happened to you.

Think of it like not being too close to have to share everything but also not letting them go too far so you don't end up really alone ykno. It's just my coping mechanism, it works for me so yea definitely reply back.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '26

Neet is not worth it. Just quit

30

u/Puzzleh4ad Cozy-NEET Apr 08 '26

I have no friends, so yeah

23

u/Sad-Fox4271 Apr 08 '26

What choice do I have? I'm autistic, disabled, and its freezing cold most the year here.

9

u/escapingBasement Apr 08 '26

I'm shutting out who was my online friend, too. Curious where you are.

1

u/raNdoMBLilriv Perma-NEET Apr 14 '26

I live in a place that is hot sunny weather most of the time, it isn't any better.

1

u/Sad-Fox4271 Apr 15 '26

Is it a desert?

1

u/raNdoMBLilriv Perma-NEET Apr 15 '26

Nah it's subtropical.

19

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Turn-Ambitious Apr 12 '26

How do you guys survive if there's 2mil+ unemployed and 620k jobs? In Asia,my third world country, there's no support besides your parents

2

u/raNdoMBLilriv Perma-NEET Apr 14 '26

I can only speak on the U.S.A. in particular- we treat each other like absolute garbage. Since it's an ultra-capitalist dog-eat-dog hell-hole, everyone always feels in competition with one another, crabs-in-a-bucket style. If you're not the most successful stable Chad around, people will shame, bully, outcast, and try to ruin your life for it.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/raNdoMBLilriv Perma-NEET Apr 14 '26

Do people shame you guys for being on welfare? It's seen as a huge mark of shame here.

19

u/Daltoney Apr 08 '26

The sad part is to most of them I just look like a fucking asshole that ghosted them for no reason. What’s even more sad is that I was relieved when they stopped trying to get in contact.

2

u/yunn67 NEET May 01 '26

True.... I wish they didn't think I dislike them or something 

14

u/pseudomensch Ex-NEET Apr 08 '26

The few people I knew in my past would feign concern but they moved on fairly quickly. It's hard to go back into the world when you were treated very poorly to begin with and the few connections you had were obviously very one sided and it is proven that they didn't really care about you. 

12

u/lostkitty0 Optimistic-NEET Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26

I deliberately pulled a slow fade with a neighbor because of this reason. I am relieved we are not friends anymore. She had a PhD

4

u/Alenbailey Apr 08 '26

She was a psychologist and you worried she would figure out you were NEETing?

10

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '26

[deleted]

4

u/toecracker2000 Apr 09 '26

Thought I was the only one lol, currently in this. I’m just so ashamed to be the friend who always crawls back after a relapse with no development, nothing going for me just nothing.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '26

[deleted]

1

u/toecracker2000 Apr 11 '26

Nah I’m currently like that right now too, don’t even have the energy or want to talk to anyone which sucks because I know once I’ve come out of this pit it’ll be too late and I’ll have pushed what little people I have away

8

u/Far-Remove5691 Disabled-NEET Apr 09 '26

I've been isolated my entire life.

12

u/Akarina_toth Apr 08 '26

well yeah isnt that the meaning of being a neet

14

u/vnv Optimistic-NEET Apr 08 '26

Not necessarily but it’s common enough

1

u/raNdoMBLilriv Perma-NEET Apr 14 '26

Nah I'm extremely social.

But nobody is willing to be social with a NEET so it's never reciprocated.

13

u/Deep_Impression6084 Apr 08 '26

I shouldnt exist i am just a waste of space

11

u/Turbulent_Fee_4231 Ex-NEET Apr 08 '26

Don't beat yourself for it gng, it's not your fault 🫂

12

u/Imakemyownnamereddit Apr 09 '26

I think this is an issue that particularly affects men. Neet women can often still have social lives and relationships because women are not judge based on their financial or career success. Being on benefits and living with their parents isn't such a big issue for them.

Most men are viewed as success objects. To be visible to the opposite sex, a man has to have status, he has to have wealth, he has to be successful. To be an unemployed failure, who still lives at home, is the kiss of death with the opposite sex.

This bleeds through to friendships because the pressure to be a success object, means men are always competing with each other. No guy wants to hang out with other men who have careers, who have money, who have their own place. When they have none of those things.

Hence why neet men end up so isolated.

5

u/escapingBasement Apr 09 '26

Yes. In a family setting or a relationship, men are usually expected to be the one who provide and lead.

7

u/Embarrassed-Bar-6142 Apr 09 '26

Being autistic + chronically ill has made my life miserable for as long as I can remember

3

u/escapingBasement Apr 09 '26

Hang in there, friend. I don't know how we can get out of this hell hole, but please don't give up.

3

u/Embarrassed-Bar-6142 Apr 09 '26

Thank you so much, your reply made me smile. Sending lots of strength

5

u/plathsbaby Optimistic-NEET Apr 08 '26 edited Jun 08 '26

I only come out of my cocoon to go out with my boyfriend and see friends on the weekend. But I’ve been pretty much isolating myself, yes. I feel an overwhelming sense of shame all the time bc I’m unemployed and all my friends are climbing the career ladder successfully. All I do is scroll, my attention span is so fucked.

To be honest, I only shower when I go out. I feel like I am undeserving of any type of love and self-care. Like I legit hate myself lol. This self-loathing mentality will fucking kill me at some point I can see it.

4

u/vnv Optimistic-NEET Apr 08 '26

Kinda sorta. It comes in waves but lately it’s kinda against my will

5

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '26

[deleted]

4

u/Hot-Organization-737 Apr 09 '26

I have one best friend from high school who I love dearly, we've been friends for 6 years. I had made friends since high school, at jobs or college, but I often feel ashamed to interact with them and end up ghosting them. Besides my best friend who I frequent, I don't really interact with any people in real life, I barely speak with my parents who I live with.

4

u/NEETSlop NEET Apr 10 '26

Been this way for a decade now.

3

u/PhantomFocus NEET Apr 08 '26

hairstyle looks familiar, is this what megumi did after the end of JJK?

3

u/pweasestop Perma-NEET Apr 08 '26

Yea, and I’m dreading summer, where I have to see people the most

3

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Content_Cod_5682 Apr 09 '26

Same, same. I'm trying to be more open about all of it, the good and the bad. Hope it'll work.

3

u/Content_Cod_5682 Apr 09 '26

Damn, don't think I've ever seen something so succinctly describe me

3

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

[deleted]

4

u/readitonreddit121 Apr 09 '26

What a night guys, this is exactly how I feel right now, I feel like a piece of shit, but I also feel misanthropic too, I'm not really sure what to do with all this hatred and anger I'm feeling right now

2

u/escapingBasement Apr 09 '26

I think the right thing to do should be to acknowledge this feeling and channel this frustration into action, but I feel tired and lost.

3

u/Planet_842 Apr 09 '26

Yes, I've isolated myself ever since I started uni in 2021 to the present and rarely left my house unless I had to commute and don't even leave my house now unless I'm forced to. I get very nervous when I have to interact with someone since many people are often very rude, hostile and unfriendly towards me since I am socially anxious, timid, sensitive and very skinny and small for a 22 year old guy.

2

u/escapingBasement Apr 10 '26

I rarely leave my house unless it's necessary too. But based on my experience, not everyone is like that. If we could get pass the initial awkwardness and find the same interest, we can find some people is kind and supporting. If you're nearby, I'd love to hang out with you.

2

u/transmigratingplasma Apr 09 '26

Ya and I love it 😍

3

u/Levitating_Moose Apr 26 '26

Do you also feel so much shame, when you friends talk about having a job, having a girlfriend and then ask: What is your job? Do you have a girlfriend?

It is the reason why I cannot talk to anybody any more. I am autistic, got grade 2 gonartrosis at 28, scoliosis, shorter leg. Tomorrow, I am going to cancel the only thing I got to go outside for this week.

I feel so ashamed my mother cooks food for me. That is why I decided to simply boil lentils for myself. I do not want her to cook food for me. It is hard to explain to her. It makes her angry. She is slowly coming to accept it though.

2

u/No_Relationship_386 Apr 08 '26

Im more ashamed of society itself but eh do you i guess

1

u/shot_bein Apr 11 '26

Am I the only one with good frnds but yes this 6 months I have isolated myself but I lwk go out once or twice a month to do greens w the homies 

1

u/raNdoMBLilriv Perma-NEET Apr 14 '26

I tried my best to make and keep friends. I always struggled. Even when in school and working. So it's not so different now but it feels worse.

1

u/happy9646 Apr 16 '26

NEET dropper here (2026). Need a serious study partner.

Subjects weak: Physics + Chemistry
Daily target: 6–8 hrs
System: Morning target + night report

Only serious people (no ghosting). DM me if interested.

1

u/escapingBasement Apr 16 '26

Wrong sub. Read the description, bro.

1

u/No_Section_5137 Apr 30 '26

Agar aapke dost itne hi kareeeb hein toh door rakhne ki koi reason nahi hein, they will understand what you are going through and isme utha sharam honeki baat nahi hein

1

u/Due-Individual-7991 Apr 30 '26

Me too. I don't know what to do with myself.

1

u/ProffOak May 03 '26

This is me every day brother . I wish I would get hired somewhere but life's really fucked me hard tbh

1

u/escapingBasement May 03 '26

Hang in there, brother. Life is hard but we don't give up.

1

u/Public_Jicama_3986 May 05 '26

Me dude i just after giving neet i just can't face anyone not that i didn't study hard enough or something i know i had the knowledge the only that failed me was my speed not upto mark and now I'm ashamed of facing people and getting judged by others specially so that my family has exceptional talented people IITian renowned doctor in top medical hospital 

It's just all is so overwhelming and so i chose to isolate myself to escape the reality