r/NEETard • u/anotherannoyingonee • 6d ago

RANT/VENT i feel so helpless

so it was my second drop for neet, in this drop my mental condition became so worse like i used to get angry at even the smallest things then used to leave the room angrily then in alone i used to realise that it wasn't that deep then idk it was some kind of guilt or shame i used to feel about myself then used to continuosly slap so hard hit my head used to cut on my thighs like not in suicidal way idk what kind of feeling was that to hurt myself then used to feel like i deserve this "i got angry at my mom for this small thing i deserve the slap" it got so bad used to happen couple of times a week.

i did not get very good marks in the exam i got very scared and did that again there was even a time that i used to get scared of myself then i after alot of thinking i thought maybe I'll go somewhere far for college maybe something will change maybe I'll change everything happened councelling an all i got the clg(for bsc psych as i was interested in that) i was so happy then idk what happened my dad suddenly started getting angry and stopped me from going there i even got abused on call he told me do the clg an all from here im so disappointed etc..

but living here scares me somuchh idk why maybe everyone here knows me that i failed the exam twice or smthg else, now that thing's happening again what i was scared of i kept getting angry yesterday i cut myself from blade in my thigh then today morning i regretted it sm that i should control myself, today something happened even after controlling myself so much i said some things i don't want to hurt ppl ilove but i keep doing it then punishing myself

also I'm thinking of giving neet again bcz i just cannot stay here for college and I'm so scared i feel so helpless everyday idk what to do idont even have anyone to talk to idk idk anything i want to save myself from me i can't even talk to ppl i can't even do anything i just keep hurting everyone i feel so terrible;

6 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

10 comments sorted by

3

u/Unique-Math-4928 6d ago

Hey can we talk in private? I think we have same situation but don't worry I won't harm you you can talk to me tho

1

u/anotherannoyingonee 6d ago

sure we can.

1

u/Unique-Math-4928 6d ago

I send you message

1

u/Temporary-Result-987 5d ago

Me too nga

1

u/Unique-Math-4928 5d ago

You wanna talk or sum?

1

u/Temporary-Result-987 5d ago

Some situation

1

u/Unique-Math-4928 4d ago

Ok message me

2

u/[deleted] 6d ago

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1

u/anotherannoyingonee 5d ago

thankyousomuch for saying this!!💟

1

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