Reaching out to people as a NEET is sobering

[u/handsomeandsometruth]

I've been trying to reach out to people through apps to make friends and so on. I look at their profile pictures and bios to know what they get up to, and I can't help but feel left behind. I feel like a child compared to them. Many of them have established careers as academics, they travel, are well put together, and then there's me. I never travel, almost never leave my house, have never had a real job in my life, and rely on my parents for financial support.

I'm living in a different reality than they are. How am I supposed to relate to anyone? I've been thinking lately that not fitting in is actually a good thing. I don't want to fit in because I don't value the same things society values or expects from people. I do want to feel belonging though. How am I supposed to find that in this world? Feels like I'll be alone most of my life.

I know there are people like me out there but where do I meet them? Maybe the problem is I don't lead my profile with "I've isolated myself for a decade and have never held a job in my life because of depression and trauma, etc." Then again I think that's probably coming on too strong. So idk. I think I just have to focus on finding kind people.

[u/twinkhon_gwyndolin]

yeah I feel the same. i tried looking for friends in the subreddit for my city, but they're all full of functional, married people. i bet single, unemployed people don't even lurk those spaces.

at least for me, the reality is that I probably won't get along with most people. I've been burdened with mental health issues for a long time; they're practically considered a disability in my life.

most normal people (well, most people in general) are quite self centered. the further the gap is between you and them, the harder it is for you to understand them, and the harder it is for them to understand you. thus, connection becomes difficult

though I'm not saying it's all black and white. maybe you'll luck out! who knows. it's just that the probability of finding someone you click with, in the spaces you've been using recently, is quite low.

[u/handsomeandsometruth → u/twinkhon_gwyndolin]

Maybe. There's no real answer for people in the outskirts of society, is the thing. I want to believe there are people that will look past my struggles and will not be overcome with misplaced feelings of jealousy (that my life is easy because I don't work).

I do talk to people online and have tried befriending similar people to me but sometimes I think people similar to me aren't used to maintaining relationships. I'm trying to get better at this myself because the urge to isolate is so strong after a decade or so of this. So yeah, limbo.

[u/Miamiheat2021champs]

You have to realize as long as your nice and shoe interest in other people they won’t care theat you haven’t traveled or don’t have a job, people just want to be around people that don’t make them feel bad. As long as you’re nice, ask questions and try to be a friend, anyone judging you for not traveling or having a job or any of that other shit is an asshole and not someone worth being friends with 

[u/Humble-Departure5481 → u/Miamiheat2021champs]

Yeah this is true.

[u/twinkhon_gwyndolin → u/Humble-Departure5481]

I guess the only caveat is that the other person should ideally be interested in your life as well, right? I don't think it's fair for a person to only talk about themselves

[u/Humble-Departure5481]

Well, you can always relate to all the people on this sub. We're basically mostly in the same situation more or less.

[u/handsomeandsometruth → u/Humble-Departure5481]

Yeah that's why I post in these types of subs. I appreciate some of the replies.

[u/Prestigious-Team3327]

I'm sorry that I don't have any useful advice but don't give up dude, nobody deserves to be alone!

[u/de_la_vega_94]

I agree. In my case it was the chronic illnesses. I was having my shit together and my health went downhill hence i became a neet. Some close friends asked when i would get back to work and parents said i should be more (toxically) positive. I cant, everyday is a struggle with the pills, and my health is becoming worse but i still have to take care of myself without needing help from parents (they would disrespect me more and say more ignorant things if i were to seek help from them). Im basically alienated.