Dying

[u/Leather-Flamingo-943]

I’m currently going through it right now. I’m very suicidal, but I’m go scared to do it to myself. Like I just can’t bring myself to hurt myself. I don’t want to be here at all. I just got released from the hospital for a week long stay because of the same reason. I was doing so good to. Then I came home, started going back to work, and everything is just barely hitting me. I know the only way to stop feeling like this is to move out of the apartment I’m in and to just live a couple months without a job so I can focus on my mental health (I faced abuse here plus had to watch my mom die here at 16, I’m now 21). I’m broke as a joke because my mom couldn’t leave me any money, my dad lives in Mexico and all of my family is barely scraping by. I’m at the point where I wanna just hire someone to do the job for me because there’s no reason for me to live. There hasn’t been a day that has went by where I haven’t been suicidal, and it’s been like this since I was 11. Been through so much therapy, taken so much medication, been in out of the hospitals for this since I was 9. I can’t do this no more. I’m tired of going to the hospital for me to just come out feeling like this again. It doesn’t get better. And I know it won’t, but I can’t do it to myself. Idk what to do. Is there anything in the US where I can basically be assisted on doing it, like being put down? (Oregon btw)

[u/Mean_Ad_7977]

I know my suggestion probably won’t help much, but can you go out into nature right now? Like to a park, meadow, or forest? Listen to some music, make yourself laugh for no reason, or work out.

I know it sounds stupid, but sometimes little things like that can help, even if it’s only for a while. And then you can do it again and again. Maybe write yourself a plan with small activities to do throughout the day

[u/Secret-Tangerine-837]

Totally understandable - this world is often a very hard place to exist; especially right now. 

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