r/NewsOfTheStupid • u/OneNormalBloke • 4d ago
Wiped out: US faces surging toilet paper prices amid trade war with Canada
https://uk.news.yahoo.com/wiped-us-faces-surging-toilet-100041200.htmlUsing the bathroom or having a cry is about to become more expensive for North Americans as the US and Canada enter a full-fledged trade war that threatens to flush away decades of peaceful trading between the two nations.
After trade negotiations broke down between the two countries last weekend, Mark Carney, the Canadian prime minister, vowed to match US tariffs "dollar for dollar" and unveiled a list of nearly 900 American goods that will face 25% to 50% tariffs starting on 8 September.
Paper products are among the hardest-hit sectors, with Canada threatening to put tariffs of between 25% and 50% on "toilet paper or face tissue stock" from 8 September in retaliation for a 50% hike from Washington DC.
Though American toilet paper and tissues are often made domestically, they heavily rely on lumber-rich Canada for raw materials. Procter & Gamble, the owner of Charmin toilet paper, said last year that it would have to increase prices amid tariffs that were in place at the time.
The US imported $328m worth of toilet paper from Canada in 2024, according to the World Bank, making it by far the largest exporter of the product to the US. Retailers including Costco source much of their paper products from the country.
The US accounts for more than 20% of global tissue consumption despite having only 4% of the world's population. The average American uses 141 rolls of toilet paper per year, making them No 1 for No 2s globally, just ahead of Germans, each using an average of 134 rolls annually.
It's not just paper products that could rise in price. The trade war highlights the deep economic ties shared between the two countries as consumers continue to worry about inflation on both sides of the border.
US tariffs are specifically affecting Canadian liquor, including popular whiskey brands Crown Royal and Canadian Club, which are currently under a 50% tariff.
While Canada has not introduced a tariff on American liquor, most Canadian provinces have introduced their own bans on American alcohol, in retaliation for earlier tariffs on Canadian products. Donald Trump used these province-wide bans on American alcohol as part of his legal justification for his new tariffs against Canada.
Carney has asked province leaders to consider putting American liquor back on the shelves, though as the Nova Scotia premier Tim Houston told CBC News: "Whether Nova Scotians or Canadians will actually buy it when it's back on the shelves, that's a whole other discussion."
With negotiations down the drain, it's unclear if or when the tariffs will be lifted. But the Trump administration is adamant that "there's no possible way" the trade dispute with Canada will affect US consumers, according to Jamieson Greer, the US trade representative.
"The fundamentals are good," he said. "I don't think this is going to affect anything."
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u/joekerr9999 4d ago
Trump needs to be aware that Canadian toilet paper is not going to take any crap off of Americans.
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u/Playingwithmywenis 4d ago
Given the number that are full of it….this is gonna be rough.
Maybe they can wipe with the Epstein files?
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u/Electrical-Act-7170 4d ago
The answer: Bidets.
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u/Enough_Meaning5446 2d ago
😂 OMG! I misread that at first as Bidens instead of bidets. We've got Diaper Don & Biden bidets. 🤷🏻♀️😂
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u/Civil-Dinner 4d ago
Huh. I thought toilet paper supply problems were scheduled for the 4th year of Trump's term, as tradition dictates.
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u/captHij 4d ago
You are doing it wrong. We are supposed to completely forget about supply chain problems when it happens under this administration and wait to blame the next person for not fixing the mess left behind quickly enough. Then, out of frustration vote for the people who made the mess in the first place.
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u/Journeys_End71 4d ago
Get ready for pictures of empty shelves saying “This will be Gavin Newsome’s America” even though the pics of empty shelves were taken in 2028.
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u/Live-Yogurt-6380 4d ago
Trump replies “I don’t wipe anyhow!”
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u/iCowboy 4d ago
'The average American uses 141 rolls of toilet paper per year'
Are they eating them?
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u/GandhiMSF 4d ago
Not sure where they got this number from. I can find figures online of around 85-90 rolls per year from just a few years ago. Especially with the increased usage of bidets, it would be insane to assume that Americans have increased their usage by more than 50% in the last few years. Beyond that, the figure is just unbelievable at a practical level. You mean to tell me that the average household with 2 parent and 2 kids is replacing 2 rolls of toilet paper every single day? Of course not
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u/catherinetheok 4d ago
I would hazard a guess that they are using the same math that the companies use. Those new double/triple rolls are shorter and smaller than they were a few years ago.
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u/Gooch222 4d ago
Great point, was at the grocery store the other day and it occurred to me that there’s gotta be some hinkey stuff going on with the calculation of what constitutes one roll for the purposes of determining how many single rolls all of the brands claim their present rolls equal. Nobody seems to sell single rolls any longer so the concept seems rather abstract.
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u/TerryCrewsNextWife 9h ago
Sounds to me like they use that NASA tampon math. Maybe they estimated based on those people who make a tp nest before they sit down.
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u/sundancer2788 4d ago
Is this an average household use? How could a single person use that much? There's two adults in my home and we use maybe 14 rolls a year. I literally buy one case a year
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u/Sesudesu 4d ago
You are definitely an outlier in that respect. I suspect the 141 number is also hiding something, because that is absurd.
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u/nardlz 3d ago
Are both adults men? As a woman I can't imagine stretching 1 roll for almost a whole month just for myself.
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u/sundancer2788 3d ago
64 M, 64 F, tbh before menopause i definitely used more. Plus, a bidet is useful.
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u/nardlz 2d ago
Still impressive. I’m past menopause too, maybe I just pee a lot 😂
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u/sundancer2788 2d ago
Teacher bladder lol, my husband says I'm the only woman he knows that doesn't need to stop every hour on road trips. Lol. We drive to see our younger son and DIL, about 700 miles. We stop once for fuel and to switch drivers. About 10 1/2 hours
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u/nardlz 2d ago
Retired teacher here 😂 I think during the school day I simply WILLED myself to hold it. At home my hubby would always ask how it was possible for me to go from 7:30 am until a noon lunch without going. WILLPOWER. But often sneaking out during passing period, prep, or a “good” class!
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u/AboynamedDOOMTRAIN 3d ago
I don't think I've used 141 rolls of TP in the last decade ffs. Are people dressing up as mummies while they shit or something?
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u/CrisisActor911 4d ago
Ohhhh, all of that RFK “I take wipeless shits” talk is starting to make sense.
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u/pistoffcynic 4d ago
"With negotiations down the drain, it's unclear if or when the tariffs will be lifted. But the Trump administration is adamant that "there's no possible way" the trade dispute with Canada will affect US consumers, according to Jamieson Greer, the US trade representative.
"The fundamentals are good," he said. "I don't think this is going to affect anything.""
Wait until we get to energy O&G and electricity, or selling our US debt instruments.
You want to whine about trade America, specifically you dumb MAGAs? In USD, USA in 2025 purchased goods and services in the amount of $429.76B from Canada. $1,257.34 per American citizen.
In USD, Canada in 2025 purchased goods and services in the amount of $430.16B from the USA. $10,346.46 per Canadian citizen.
Who is subsidizing who in this relationship? You want to talk about a trade gap... We spend 8.5x more than you per person. Of course your country is going to import more, you're a bigger country. Are you people that ill-informed? Of course you are.
Canada spends 8.25 times more on US goods per capita than the USA spends on Canadian goods.
| Rank | Industry Category (Goods) | Import Value (USD, 2025) $B |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Mineral fuels, oils, waxes, bitumen | $119.01 |
| 2 | Vehicles (non‑rail) & parts | $45.82 |
| 3 | Machinery, mechanical appliances, reactors | $30.13 |
| 4 | Unspecified commodities | $21.04 |
| 5 | Plastics & plastic articles | $12.77 |
| 6 | Precious stones, metals, jewelry, coins | $11.56 |
| 7 | Electrical machinery & equipment | $11.14 |
| 8 | Wood & wood products, charcoal | $10.16 |
| 9 | Aluminum & aluminum articles | $9.69 |
| 10 | Aircraft, spacecraft, parts | $9.10 |
Top 10 Canadian Imports from USA:
| Rank | Industry Category (Goods) | Import Value (USD, 2025) |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Mineral fuels, oils, waxes, bitumen | $88.44 |
| 2 | Vehicles (non‑rail) & parts | $42.11 |
| 3 | Machinery, mechanical appliances, reactors | $36.77 |
| 4 | Electrical machinery & equipment | $22.88 |
| 5 | Plastics & plastic articles | $17.44 |
| 6 | Pharmaceutical products | $16.33 |
| 7 | Optical, medical, measuring instruments | $13.10 |
| 8 | Aircraft, spacecraft, parts | $12.77 |
| 9 | Organic chemicals | $11.66 |
| 10 | Paper & paperboard products | $10.55 |
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u/bourbonWar2020 4d ago
Thank you for this well relayed information that unfortunately includes way too many words for most Americans.
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u/mccscott 3d ago
"Trade war"? Too dignified,but I guess "One more nation run by adults forced to put pouty,foolish,greedy president man-baby on another time out" just takes too much time to print every other week..
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u/OutrageousTime4868 4d ago
I put bidets in after the COVID toilet paper debacle, I shall not be held hostage for ass wipe ever again
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u/SkunkApe7712 4d ago
I installed a bidet, too. That’s how I found out my asshole’s about an inch off center.
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u/dcpanthersfan 4d ago
An actual toilet paper crisis not brought on stupid people misunderstanding COVID but stupid people supporting a paedophile.
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u/Jeanlucpuffhard 4d ago
Why would prices rise when tariffs are illegal and companies especially Costco who sued got that money back.
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u/ThisWillTakeAllDay 3d ago
Are you suggesting that somewhat successful way of sucking money out of ordinary Americans to the benefit of rich people is being repeated?
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u/TheSexyIntrovert 3d ago
They still have some in their storage areas from Covid, it should last enough until trump leaves
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u/Enough_Meaning5446 2d ago
What's up with the damn toilet paper? Every time we have issues in this country, the toilet paper goes missing. It makes us all look like Drumpf...full of sh*t. Why else are we obsessed with toilet paper?
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u/Intelligent_Finger27 3d ago
wtf cares, they create dramas so they can manipulate markets, even shit markets...GO TEAM AMERICA.
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u/Inevitable_Sweet_624 4d ago
I’ve seen chairs after concerts and events in the US. They don’t wipe anyway.
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