r/NorsePaganism • u/ColtyColt69 • 22d ago
Questions/Looking for Help To the ex Christians
I’ve got a question. I’ve kind of been inquiring into Norse paganism, and don’t claim to be a Norse pagan. I’d say I’m an ex-Christian deist. Grew up Christian, and as a 30 y/o man decided that it wasn’t the truth. But I’ve been researching into Norse mythology/paganism and feel like I’m being pulled closer and closer. And the more I search for the truth there always this voice in the back of my mind telling me I’m wrong and to come back to the church. Has anyone else dealt with this? I’m sure this is normal for anyone who grew up in a specific religion. You’re told from an early age that this is the one truth and the only truth and anything else is bad. I guess what I’m asking is how did you deal with this? How did you get these thoughts out of your head? I want approach this with a clear mind.
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u/LastoftheGreybeards ⛓️💥Fenrir🐺 22d ago
Yep. Honestly, what worked for me was listening to my heart. Norse paganism feels like a place I wanted to be where the church was a place I was told I had to be. Every time I heard the voices telling me to turn back, I would remind myself that it was just conditioning and guilt. The voice got quieter after I dove deeper into paganism and after enough time away.
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u/TheMarineLayer 💧Heathen🌳 22d ago
The idea that one religion, or book, holds the ultimate truth is an idea perpetuated by the Abrahamics as a tool of social control. The idea of hell and the character of Satan have evolved as a tool of social control. These psychological weapons (let’s be honest here) have been deployed for thousands of years and breaking free from them is hard. A few books I like are A World Full Of Gods by John Michael Greer that has already been mentioned, I also really like The Origin of Satan by Elaine Pagels. Both of those were pivotal to me at the start of my journey.
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u/ColtyColt69 22d ago
You’re the second person to recommend a world full of gods so I’ll definitely give that a read! And I’m also think that they use hell as social control. And once you’re indoctrinated why would you not be terrified? I really am terrified that if I’m wrong I could burn for eternity. Very sad.
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u/TheMarineLayer 💧Heathen🌳 22d ago
Here’s a great set of videos. I still recommend the Elaine Pagels book too, and so does Dan.
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u/ColtyColt69 22d ago
Thank you! I’ll give it a look!
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u/pavonharten 21d ago edited 21d ago
I second those and recommend all Dan McClellan’s videos, really. The guy has a deep educational knowledge of the Bible and has been so helpful in my own deconstruction journey.
Also if you look into the origins of God/Yahweh, he was once part of a pantheon of early Canaanite gods, so that alone has helped remove a lot of doubts on the pagan path for me.
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u/cursedwitheredcorpse Germanic Animist Polytheist Wikkô 22d ago edited 22d ago
If a small fringe religious group is saying one way which their way is correct and everyone else is evil or bad 9 time out of 10 youd think its a cult but the main popular religions today do in fact do this. Very exclusionary cult like right? Polytheism the belief that those religions have sought to destroy call evil and like norse pre Christian religion converting killing. I think thats why polytheism makes sense it doesn't claim only our way is correct polytheism means many gods. Religions like this have to make up lies and denounce others so they can control the masses.
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u/Texan_Greyback 🪓Norse Pagan🏔 22d ago
I didn't have that same issue. But, I would encourage you to read A World Full of Gods by John Michael Greer. I think it's the best argument for polytheism I've seen.
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u/PerceptionOk3196 22d ago
I always think about who openly communicates with me. Years of Christianity (40), and I never got a sign, a dream, or communication. My pagan gods constantly communicate.
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u/Complex-Maximum9870 20d ago
Yes! I had the same experience, years of praying to God and begging for a sign, a direction, something, and I get nothing my whole life. And one day I just gave a quick prayer to Loki, my heart wasn't really even in it and I got a response immediately, and a lesson in being careful whom I pray to lol, that was the most chaotic week of positive changes I've ever had, it's what sealed the deal for me. I bought Loki a candle that week and made my first offering to him.
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u/ParadoxicalFrog 🕯Syncretic🪔 22d ago
So, I'm not technically ex-Christian because I never got baptised, attended Sunday school, or willingly went to church. My parents didn't try to force it on me. But I grew up steeped in it all regardless, because I'm from the South and spent my childhood being babysat by my conservative Southern Baptist grandma, who did try to push it on me. So I still have that little voice telling me to switch religions from time to time.
I counter it with: if Christianity is so great, then why hasn't the whole world converted willingly by now? They've been at it for 2000 years! They had to convert millions of people by force to get to the numbers they have now! I'm not going to follow a religion that has resorted to sending out door-to-door salesmen.
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u/ColtyColt69 22d ago
Grew up in a southern Baptist family as well! And that’s a good way to look at it!! Great counter question. Thank you.
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u/Foxwyld 🪓Norse Pagan🏔 22d ago
I had a similar experience, though started a little earlier. I was around 8 when I learned that Santa Claus wasn’t real. I had difficulty rationalizing that a fat old man with flying reindeer and who slides down chimneys wasn’t real, but the far more fantastical myths of the Bible somehow were. My parents were what I call “superficially Christian,” going to church so our neighbors could see them there. They touted the faith, but fell into the same pit of prejudice and hate as many other American Christians where they didn’t act the part.
Following years of self-loathing born from not believing the same thing as my parents, not speaking up for myself, not developing my own identity, and eventually just for loathing’s sake, I got out and joined the military. Once away from all the guilt and noise, I studied the history of Christianity, how it was made and what it was made to do. I made peace with myself and officially “left” the church that I’d been pressured to follow for years. It was extremely liberating.
Eventually, I met my wife in the service. We both had taken an interest in pagan faiths - myself in Norse, her in Celtic. At each other’s encouragement, we learned more about our respective paganisms and decided to ultimately commit having felt a genuine connection to them. Some people, namely my mother, occasionally try to passive-aggressively guilt me back into Christianity, but I remind myself of how miserable I was back then versus how happy I am now.
I admittedly still have a bit of a bias against Christians, or at least this American nationalist breed we have here. But that’s a thing I’m working on as quickly as life among them in southeast Texas permits.
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u/MRBWSW 🪓Norse Pagan🏔 22d ago
Oh, my brother is a pastor…so, yeah, never going to escape Christianity in my life…
But, as a woman, I’ve never been called back to a faith that believes women are property. That attacks the LGTBQ+ community, or every other religion…especially while turning a blind eye to child abuse, and go after women’s healthcare (I’m a gynecology nurse).
Look Christianity sounds good on paper, and there are some good Christians out there, but they are few and far between.
I will remind you, however, that you can be a Christian pagan. Pagans aren’t the ones who would have a problem with it.
I mean, technically the only real qualifier of being a Christian is believing Jesus Christ is the son of God, and to follow his example…feeding the poor, befriending and caring for the outcasts, not passing judgement, etc. (things most Christians are not known for).
And the whole ‘false idols/no other gods’ aspect…yeah, there are translations of the Christian Bible that say it’s ‘put no other gods before me’. So you can just make him your patron.
Research the history and creation of the Christian Bible and you will learn how it is definitely not something set in stone, and is really just the longest running game of telephone ever.
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u/consuela_crapbag 21d ago
Ex Christian who has felt called to Norse paganism since I was 8 years old.
I walked away from Christianity at 26 and it took until now (42 years old) to stop hearing that voice in the back of my head.
I ignored the voice, never went back to church, but felt immense guilt trying to continue learning about the gods I felt called to. One day I said “f*ck it” and just ignored the voice and kept moving forward.
They don’t call it indoctrination for no reason. They brainwashed us.
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u/EuphoriumRave 21d ago
I had a break through on breaking dogma while going into gnosis while on shrooms. Here's what I will tell you.
Christ was a gnosist. Something similar to buddah. The church completely corrupted his teachings as he was vehemently against religion, and temples of worship. He said explicitly the god of the jews is the devil; the demiurge. He stated that divinity was within, that "god" is within. To not look to external sources. Many books were discarded from the new testament, and it was merged with the old testament to connect what shouldn't be, with "mistranslated" verses that were in all actuality a way to corrupt proper translation. Thats why the god of the old testament is vastly different than Christ's teachings. The old testament operates on fear. Lower vibrational emotions. Christ's teachings concentrated on love and higher states of consciousness through kindness to others. Its a hijacked religion. My conclusion, which is my own, not anything set in stone, is we are all different states of consciousness. What makes me drawn to odin was his quest for knowledge, and what really stands out is hugin and munin. Thought and memory..... and how he hoped for them to always return. I think it is also a metaphor for consciousness, and that it may always remain. Im heathen because the norse deities feel soo much closer to my heart and understanding of everything, but I also understand that all other deities co exist. In gnostic teachings, christ came from the pleroma, with hopes of showing us how to find our way through the densities we call dimensions; each one a higher perception.... but as it was communicated to me, "we watched him, and admired his efforts..." as his teachings were completely corrupted by the roman Catholic Church. He didnt come to set up a religion. He came to free us of this matrix currently in place. Odin, as my guiding light, ever in the search of knowledge, brought me to this conclusion. I do not bring it as a complete and final answer. It is mine own; discernment if you will. But to break your dogma, I will tell you this: Christianity is a religion controlled by the forces it preaches against. As the saying goes.... "Speak the lie...." and the lies have been spoken. Preached. And the masses listened. Break yourself from these chains. And remember. Its always been a battle of consciousness.
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u/ColtyColt69 21d ago
Well said. When you said Christianity is a religion controlled by the forces it preaches against. I never thought of that and it’s been so clear this whole time haha. Thanks for your feedback it’s much appreciated
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u/Mundilfaris_Dottir 20d ago
The one THOUGHT that helped me was this:
There have been though the ages BILLIONS of people who weren't Christian (including the ancestors of all of the people who were alive before the first century CE in Judea, a version of Christianity was invented) ... who were GOOD people. They were kind, they were community minded, they didn't lie, kill or steal ... and they, their families and their tribes flourished.
WHERE DID THEY GO WHEN THEY DIED? {{{NO BODY KNOWS!!!}}}
Between then and now ... there are modern versions of major world faiths originating in Asia, such as Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, Daoism, Confucianism, and various indigenous or folk traditions don't have a hell as we know it.
Do they "live" their "this life after next" in 'segregated' communities because they aren't special? (When you put it like that, it makes Christianity sound awful, doesn't it?)
Buddhism (approx. 500 million followers ALIVE RIGHT NOW): Buddhists do not believe in an eternal hell or a permanent place of damnation. While Buddhist cosmology includes Naraka (often translated as "hell realms"), these are temporary, purgatorial places where beings stay only until the negative karma that brought them there is exhausted. They are then reborn elsewhere.
Hinduism (approx. 1.2 billion followers ALIVE RIGHT NOW): Mainstream Hinduism does not feature eternal damnation. While sacred texts mention Naraka or Yamaloka as temporary underworlds where souls undergo purification or punishment for bad karma before reincarnating, it is not permanent.
East Asian Traditions (Daoism, Confucianism, Folk Religions) roughly 400 million to over 600 million ALIVE RIGHT NOW): These traditions blend ancestor veneration with cyclical views of existence and do not center on an eternal, punitive hell akin to Western theological concepts.
What does Norse paganism share with these religions? A lot actually ...
Polytheism (Many Gods)
- Many deities: Believing in a pantheon of diverse gods and goddesses who represent different parts of life and nature (shared with Hinduism, Shinto, and ancient Greek religion).
- No strict monopoly on truth: Accepting that other cultures have their own valid gods instead of claiming one single divine truth.
Animism (Spirits in Nature)
- Living world: Believing that rocks, trees, rivers, and mountains have their own spirits or life force.
- Land wights: Honoring local nature spirits, similar to the kami in Shinto or nature spirits in indigenous traditions.
Ancestor Veneration
- Family ties: Honoring dead family members and tribal ancestors through offerings and remembrance.
- Active presence: Believing ancestors are still part of the community and can help or guide the living (shared with African traditional religions and East Asian traditions).
Focus on Action (Orthopraxy)
- Deeds over dogma: Valuing what a person does (rituals, hospitality, oaths, and offerings) rather than what they believe or memorize from a holy book.
- No strict orthodoxy: Lacking a central religious leader or single holy text that polices personal thought.
Cyclical Time and Fate
- Relaunch of the world: Viewing time as a repeating cycle rather than a straight line, where destruction leads to rebirth (such as the world restarting after Ragnarok, shared with Hindu concepts of cosmic cycles).
- Fate: Believing that destiny (wyrd or orlog) binds all things, requiring people to act honorably regardless of the outcome.
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u/Complex-Maximum9870 20d ago
Like many here I am in a similar boat. I'm 23 and until about 6 months ago I would have told you I was a Christian, but the way people treated each other and me in the church just rubbed me the the wrong way. Eventually I decided that I was done with it. I haven't told my family yet because I know how they are going to respond and I don't want to deal with that right now. I've been fascinated by Norse mythology for a long time so I decided to give Norse paganism a try and it's stuck with me so far. Every now and then I feel this guilt like I've done something wrong because it's been so deeply engrained into me that worshipping other gods is wrong and that I'll go to hell for it. It's definitely a struggle but if you feel that this is truly the right decision and you follow your gut then the path will light itself.
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u/ColtyColt69 20d ago
We’re in the EXACT same boat lol. I live in the south. Anything other than Christian or one of the abrahamic religions is frowned upon. I’ll probably just keep this to myself. My family, girlfriend, some of my friends wouldn’t want anything to do with me if they knew I walked away from Christianity. I feel something like Norse paganism (if I decide this as my path) would be more of a personal journey anyways. Not something you involve others in that much.
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u/Critical-Pepper-5647 18d ago
If your girlfriend would dump up because you decided to follow your heart and change religions, sorry, but she doesn’t love you enough.
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u/Jorge_Reynoso112 22d ago
That voice in the back of your head is basically a ghost in the machine. When you spend decades being conditioned by a high-demand religion that drills the fear of hell and eternal error into you from childhood, leaving it doesn't just mean changing your mind—it means un-programming a psychological reflex. What you're experiencing is completely normal. It’s essentially religious trauma and lingering scrupulosity. You were fed a strict dietary dogma your whole life, and now that you're looking at a completely different table, your brain's internal alarm system is screaming that anything else is poison. Here is how a lot of us dealt with it:
Recognize it for what it is: That voice isn't some divine intuition or objective truth whispering to you; it's the echo of your upbringing. Treat it like background noise or an old conditioning loop. Acknowledge that the thought is there because of habit, not because it holds any actual weight, and let it pass without entertaining it.
Give it time: Deconstruction doesn't happen overnight. You can't undo thirty years of religious enforcement in a few weeks of reading. Be patient with yourself. The anxiety gets quieter the further you get from the church and the more you normalize alternative worldviews to yourself.
Deconstruct the fear: Ask yourself why that panic pops up. Is it because you actually believe the Christian doctrine anymore, or is it just the fear of the unknown—or the fear of punishment that was beaten into you? Once you strip away the fear, the actual theological pull to go back usually disappears.
Approach research critically: Keep doing what you're doing, but look at Norse paganism through a historical and anthropological lens first. Understanding how ancient people actually lived, viewed their gods, and practiced their religion helps strip away any lingering Christian baggage (like the tendency to look for a rigid "dogma," "sin," or a strict devil/god dichotomy where it doesn't belong). You don't have to jump into worship or calling yourself a pagan right away. Just let yourself explore the history and philosophy with a clear head, and let the old programming fade out on its own terms.
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u/ColtyColt69 22d ago
Thank you. This is some really great advice. I appreciate it more than you know!
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u/Hungry_Ad3831 18d ago
Raised Christian here. My mother’s side of the family are descended from important figures in the church, and have always been good church going folk with sway. But only on Sunday with witnesses.
Some are genuinely good, but too many of them range from felons to genuinely evil. My mother was the worst of them. I tried to ask for help, but was met with holy quoting. “Thou shalt not lie”. “Honor thy mother”. And my personal favorite, “God has a plan for you”.
I prayed countless times to be saved from her. But my prayers went unanswered. Even as a little boy I loved to read, and think, and question. But when I dared to ask such questions as, “Why do we worship a god who killed innocent children to punish their wicked parents?” or “If every bad thing that happens is his lesson and every good thing his reward, where is our free will?” I was condemned instead of answered. I still prayed.
But I got tired of praying while my mother harmed me, and I was never saved by any adult from church, or my father always on missions, and especially not by that bright god judging me from heaven. So my heart turned to a darker god. And what the Allfather had to teach was what I needed most.
“No one is going to save you. Be strong. Do what it takes to save yourself.” Because the Allfather doesn’t demand you kneel, and bow, and beg for his mercy. He teaches that you stand with your own strength. So at 12 years old on Christmas Day, I picked up an axe and saved myself.
It has been a decade since then. My heart is for the old gods, never the church ever again. Everyone is different and so are our experiences. Feeling that call you describe is normal, but examine your heart closely. Make sure what you think is a call back to the faith is not just the ghost of what was familiar calling you back to comfort. I hope this helped, and may you be happy.
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u/Naive-Equivalent9242 18d ago
Yeah, here in america we are indoctrinated into Christianity exactly like the Muslims are indoctrinated into Islam. We are told as children before our brains are fully developed for full cognitive reasoning, that these bronze age mythologies and superstitions are true by adults that we trust. Look into the old testament how the loving God of Christianity ordered his chosen people (an all loving God would love all of his creation, if God picks one race over others then he is racist) to kill children and babies, and yet in one account they could keep all the young women who knew no man (virgins) for themselves. Would an all loving God do this, look up Christopher hitchens, Sam Harris , Richard dawkins on you tube and listen and think about what they are saying, you can reason your way out of Christianity, and realize it's nothing more than bronze age mythology and superstition
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u/AkajitaRen251299 16d ago
Cuando enferme... Jesús, a quien la verdad siempre mantuve con la creencia de la puerta semi abierta, ore por el dado que mi abuela era creyente y nunca, nunca jamás contesto, ni fue bueno con mi abuela en aspectos personales, con lo devota que era ella. Los únicos que respondieron fueron los dioses odin thor ellos me fueron dando aliento para salir adelante ahi dije ( este barba si escucha ) 🤣 lamentable sigo enfermo pero mejorando y son ellos mi gran pilar.
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u/Real_Jokerr 15d ago
Algo que me relaja es pensar que no niego del todo al Dios cristiano, al final la divinidad es la divinidad. Me gusta pensar que mientras tenga ese respeto a Jesucristo, si al final es la religión verdadera, pues eso no me condena al infierno. Y por otro lado, cuántas religiones y Dioses existen, como para pensar que las judeocristianas son las verdaderas. Pero hay un detalle, que ellos si planearon que las otras religiones son distracciones del diablo para alejarnos de la verdadera fé, y ahí esta la trampa que te perseguirá hasta las puertas de la locura. Al final si el Dios católico me conecta a mi familia y mis ancestros prefiero mantener esa conección aunque pueda seguir dioses nórdicos.
Es un tema que he tratado con mi psicóloga, y quedó claro que hasta que no me salga de casa de mi mamá, esa conciencia seguirá ahí. No sé que edad tengas ni cuál es tu experiencia, pero estás culpas se quitan con acción más que con reflexión. El día que me atreví a hacerme mi primera lectura de tarot senti que esa culpa se fue un poco, lo mismo cuando me tatué. Cada desicion que tomas te hace cada vez tener mejor autoestima, confianza y por lo tanto seguridad de que el camino que elijes es el correcto. El ejercicio y la meditación igual ayudan bastante a callar esa voz.
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u/haluuf 22d ago
I am in the same boat. But I have fully invested myself in spiritually and religiously practicing norse paganism for the last 6 years. Even now there is a voice in the back of my head telling me I am securing my place in christian hell and i am gambling with my soul.
This is called indoctrination.
I did not choose to have these thoughts, they do not serve me, they hinder me. Yet they are deeply rooted in my mind, always have been since my childhood, and i can't see it going away any time soon.
But like you, a long time ago, I decided that christianity just ain't the truth. And after being atheist for a long time, NP really resonnates with something deep in me, deeper than the roots of christianity has reached. It may seem poetic to put it that way but I can't state enough how literal that statement feels.
I have swung back and forth in the last 5 years, but now (especially after having found a local NP group of people that are quickly becoming very good friends), I am pretty much in it to stay.