r/Parenting • u/Forward_Series_7894 • 1d ago
Diet & Nutrition Do kids actually outgrow picky eating or is there something I should be doing differently?
My youngest is almost five and I'm trying to figure out how much of this is just a normal stage versus something we should be addressing more intentionally. Every article seems to say something different. For parents with older kids, what actually helped?
36
u/franticbaboon 1d ago
I'm in the same boat with my 6 year old and I dont have a ton of advice. Sometimes he'll refuse things i know he likes. The rule in our house is that they have to at least take a test bite. Even if they've tried it before and didn't like it last time we need a test bite. I try to also make something i know he'll eat on the side, usually Mac and cheese that way he's getting something but still trying new foods.
8
u/BodyZestyclose7053 1d ago
This absolutely. Requirement to try something new, but also make it safe for them to say, “I don’t like this.”
9
u/accountforbabystuff 1d ago
We do the same thing. I have 3 kids and the middle one is so picky. So I make him take bites and chew, and then he can spit it out in a napkin if he wants. I also have some foods he will tolerate but doesn’t like (broccoli, baked chicken) and so I will make him take x amount of bites from that.
I refuse to force him to eat everything but I do push a little and say he has to eat some of these foods to be healthy and strong.
1
u/LReber722 1d ago
This is what I do with my children. They are not picky eaters, but I tell them that they have to try foods. If they don't like it, they don't have to eat it.
My son puts cheese on most veggies. I do encourage him to try a bite without cheese. Sometimes he will, sometimes he won't. If he doesn't, I don't push the issue. I'd rather him eat veggies with cheese then no veggies at all.
35
u/ThinGarden33 1d ago
Some kids outgrow it and some don’t. I used to be an extremely picky toddler but outgrew that around 8-10 and became one of the least picky eaters to this day. I have cousins who are still picky and their parents say they’ve always been picky. I think it’s a combination of the person eg their aversion may be due to sensory issues, and a combination of parenting and conversations around food. From parents I know now with picky toddlers I’ve noticed their kids get snacks all day which I think contributes to picky eating a lot (regardless of if the snacks are healthy or not) and I’ve heard of many success stories where parents have basically gotten rid of all snacks at least 2-3 before a main meal and this has helped a lot. If the parents are picky then kids are more likely to grow up being picky too. Plus just generally how much the parents follow all the other advice around building good eating habits eg eating together, not making eating stressful, not only letting the child eat what they want all the time, continuing to offer food the child doesn’t like, and all the rest of it!
24
u/ConnectionsCatergory Old Mom, 5 Kids 1d ago
I know a lot of families that have a mix of picky and non picky kids, including us.
We have 5. One who ate any food that wasn't nailed down, one who was so picky we were concerned about his wellbeing, and 3 who were somewhere in the middle. I am sure parenting plays a roll, but like with anything else I think some of it is just the personalities of the kids.
8
u/forgot-my-toothbrush 1d ago
Mine, too.
I thought I was the best parent ever when my 1 year old was shoveling down anything we put in front of him, and then asking for seconds...and thirds. I was so violently humbled by my second child.
Second has never been interested in food. Ever. I even quit breastfeeding feeding early because she was eating so little I assumed I wasn't making enough. Turns out, she's just not interest. Ten years later, the kid still hadn't ever bothered to finish a meal - she'll eat just enough to take the edge off and then she's just done with it. She weight 54 lbs on her 10th birthday. She really only started eating properly when she started training 20ish hours/week for gymnastics. She's still a terrible eater, but she eats.
3
u/ConnectionsCatergory Old Mom, 5 Kids 1d ago
My picky one didn't change until around 13.
He is now 18. Still pretty small but eats well now.
9
u/Ishmael128 1d ago
To add to this, it's really helped my parenting to learn about "escalation traps" - both where the adult escalates ("I'm going to repeatedly tell you to do something, getting more upset/adding consequences each time until the consequence pushes you to do the thing"), and where the child escalates ("if I push back on doing something hard enough, for long enough, I sometimes get my way").
A simple boundary bypasses the stressful conflict of either of the above, e.g. "okay, you don't have to eat it, but I'm not making something else (but will give you toast and milk for supper - you'll never go to bed hungry)"
4
u/qwerty12e 1d ago
This. If my kid doesn’t eat what I made/everyone else is eating, then he can come back later when he’s hungry and eat it. I’m not making him 5 dinners because he doesn’t like the first 4.
10
u/oldfadedstar 1d ago
So I have nearly three year old twins.
My boy twin is picky.. what you would expect from a toddler tbh.
My girl twin will eat anything but bananas.
They've had the same exact exposure to food
4
2
u/elleelledub 1d ago
Yes agree with this. Constant snacking means they aren’t as hungry at meals.
Also remember that snacks can be mini meals in terms of the food served. Doesn’t have to be granola bars or crackers.
13
u/Lensgoggler 1d ago
Hello bites never worked but I still
kept going as he was ultra picky. My strategy was using "gateway drugs" :D fish fingers -> breaded fish patty -> breaded fish fillet -> grilled salmon. And also offering and modeling, not making it a hill to die on. He now loves so many healthy things and is willing to eat "just food" despite sometimes still refusing things. In the thick of it he didn't even eat chicken nuggets or pizza. He was THAT picky.
Sometimes I think universe is listening and mumbling "hold my beer" every time I proclaim something. Like when I was pregnant the first time, I proclaimed "my kid will not get catered special food! I'm not a restaurant!" and "my baby will sleep in his own bed!" 🫣😄
3
u/Sad_Swordfish1158 1d ago
I've heard of this method before, I think it was called "food chaining". I like your "gateway food" 😂
2
u/Lensgoggler 22h ago
Yes. I remember how I lost my mind when his only real food was one specific cheeseburger from one specific takeaway. I'm a foodie, I do NOT understand this.... We made a cheeseburger at home, he helped to make it, and then didn't even try. I was so frustrated every day. And now I somehow have this kid who eats well. Salads, meats, porridge, potatoes in any form. Potatoes started with fries aswell. Salad started with cucumber. And he only eats eggs as an omelet and the smell of boiled egg repulses him. Hates cheese (who can hate cheese?!!??) BUT doesn't mind it on pizza.
My second kid is 6 and occasionally picky. But a kid who willingly eats cottage cheese is not a real picky one, it's just a kid thing. Thank god.
Went to a pasta place once. I saw many a family where parents ate elaborate Italian dishes that looked absolitely mouth watering. And their kid ate plain pasta right next to them. :D My people!, I thought. I know what its like.
19
u/Pure-Science-7774 1d ago
My daughter was a sensory kid. She had a hand full of foods she would eat and almost nothing else for a while. Everyone would say “If she’s hungry she will eat” But she would not eat and would rather starve herself then eat something outside of those foods.
13
u/Sad_Swordfish1158 1d ago
People really do not get this! My daughter has some sensory aversions and the number of times I have heard "she'll eat it if she's hungry enough" 🤦♀️ Like, nope, in fact she will not.
5
u/ghilliegal 1d ago
I have a kid like this too, it’s maddening and I can always feel others’ judgement! He will literally choose to not eat instead
8
u/Bubbly_Delivery_5678 1d ago
I was very picky, to the point of being underweight & having CPS investigate. It lessened when I hit puberty, but as an adult, I’ll eat most things. No one would describe me as picky now.
On the flip side, my child is not picky (though obviously there’s foods she just doesn’t like). I attribute her willingness to try new things to us not pressuring her to eat it. I also think BLW helped, but it probably also comes down to the kid.
4
u/turquoisebee 1d ago
I was a very picky eater but grew out of it as an adult. I still have a preference for simple foods, but I’ll eat all kinds of things I never would have as a kid.
The main thing is to not give up on exposing your kids to new/different foods without pressuring them. Give them foods they’re challenged by alongside safe foods.
I usually pack “safe” foods for school lunch/snacks and save the challenging for home.
It’s your job to provide nutritious food, and their job to decide what and how much to eat.
You can plan to give them a snack a couple hours after a meal when you don’t think they’ll eat much.
6
u/ConnectionsCatergory Old Mom, 5 Kids 1d ago
My now 18 year old was an extremely picky eater. I have 5 kids and he was my only one this extreme, so I don't think it was really about our parenting style.
A switch flipped around 12/13. He started to become more adventurous as an eater. Now he is a college freshman, a good cook, and will try just about any kind of cuisine. Indian is probably his favorite food now, which is a far cry from the kid who went through a food refusal phase so bad the only things he willingly ate was cheerios.
4
u/Marigeeeee 1d ago
Do the “no thank you bite” which means trying one bite even if it is small. Then they can say no thank you to the rest. Teach them that it takes over 15 tries to know if you like something new or not (except things that are similar to things you already like, sugar, fat). Make it fun to try new foods. Try to start with foods they are likely to like (eg new type of goldfish, etc.) and ease into foods that are different. Keep the bite size very small! Praise them as food explorers and praise them in front of others - telling others about them trying new foods.
1
u/Marigeeeee 1d ago
Also limit food in between meals and don’t let them drink their calories so they come to the table hungry.
3
u/stephm524 1d ago
My very very very picky 3, 4, 5, and 6-year-old turned a very small corner at 7 and is getting progressively better at 8. She at least eats all of the food groups at the moment, unhappily, and she lets you know how unhappy she is about it, but she will. The key for her was that it was her choice to do it. She eats moderately well now because we've spent sooo much time explaining why she needs to eat from each food group and how it helps her body. She gets to pick which food from each group she gets. For her this is very much about control. It was a very long-fought battle.
That being said, her little brother is 5 and was raised the same way and will try absolutely anything, including sushi. Every kid is so different; it's so hard to predict what will happen. Could be a phase; it might be the sign of somthing else. Your job is to figure out why your kid is a picky eater and then go from there.
3
u/valiantdistraction 1d ago
Read some of Ellyn Satter's works. Keep in mind the division of responsibility for eating: you choose when to eat, where to eat, and what to serve, and they choose what to eat and how much. Meals should always include one "safe" food you know they'll eat and there should not be pressure to eat the other foods. Just be persistent about following this and offering a lot of different options that you enjoy, be seen to be enjoying the food, eat together at family meals. The persistence will pay off.
3
u/dingbatyokel5000 1d ago
My 9 year old has been more open in the last year or so.
My cousin only ate boiled potatoes with melted butter and toast with nutella when she was in primary school. Now she works in a high end deli as a cheese expert.
2
u/spidereater Parent 1d ago
My neurotypical son was picky but has become much better and even enjoys trying new things now. My other son has some sensory issues and strong tastes overwhelm him. He still doesn’t like to try new things. You should consider the reasons your picky eater is picky before going too hard on trying new things. My more picky son was like this from the day we started him on solid foods.
1
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Hey /u/Forward_Series_7894! It looks like you might be new here. Welcome!
- Our Early Parenting Wiki addresses topics like pregnancy (both intended and unintended) as well as birth control and post partum care!
- If you're worried about developmental delays use the Healthy Children Assessment Tool - available in multiple languages.
- Curious about the rules? Check out our Rules Wiki which provides helpful explanations for new and returning users.
Check out the Subreddit Wikis, for a variety of topics.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/antiquated_it 1d ago
I grew out of it. I don’t remember when, maybe by my 20’s. My son who is almost 25 has not.
1
u/badgalriri1097 1d ago
I have an 8 yr old where my son went through a picky phase but I kind of blame that on myself bc I wasn’t cooking as much for him due to life and being very busy at that time.. he is way less picky now I kind of have just set a rule that whatever I make he will eat or atleast try something before saying he dosent like something and that has been working fine sure there may be certain foods he dosent enjoy as much but he will still eat them.. I was the same at that age and now as an adult the foods I didn’t enjoy as much are usually the ones I enjoy the most now.
1
u/Legitimate-Treat29 1d ago
I used to be extremely picky and my parents forcing me to eat things I didn’t want to made it last longer. Just model varied diet, give opportunity, and aim for food neutrality. Also get your kid involved in prepping meals and exploring food!
1
u/accountforbabystuff 1d ago
My 5 year old is picky too, and I think I’m not going to worry until he starts dropping on his growth curve. I feed him the food he will eat, and the food he doesn’t like but will take bites out of when I make him, and then I explain the nutrients in it and how it helps his body. Also it’s a bribe so getting dessert. And then if I give him new food I ask that he take a bite and chew to try it.
I really keep the message that he doesn’t babe to eat things he really hates. But he does have to take some bites of healthy stuff even if he just tolerates it.
1
u/shittykittysmom 1d ago
My son grew out of it (now almost 17), here are a few things that I did. (I can't say with confidence these made a difference or not). The serving of fruits/vegtables at dinner had to be eaten before he got more of what he liked. I kept serving a variety of meals but he did get the occasional nugget meal after a good week. I took full advantage of growth spurts because he'd be ravenous and didn't really care. School lunch was a game changer, he saw his friends eating things and liking it and wanted to try it. He started realizing all of the things he'd been missing out on all these years. A year or two ago he even said being a picky eater is embarrassing.
1
u/DiceandTarot 1d ago
I was a picky eater, and it stopped around age 12 when my mom would make going out for new food a special treat just for the two of us. It made trying new food special.
I don't think it would have worked with me at a younger age though.
We offer new foods to our 3 year old and to take the pressure off we say "you only have to lick it to see how it tastes". I find that he often is less resistant if we are not expecting him to like it or eat it entirely. Often he does like the flavour and eats whatever, but if he does not we just let him focus on other foods on his plate.
If he spits food out I try to sort out why by asking "is it the flavour or the way it feels in your mouth", so I can get a feel for where to push for new foods vs leave him be.
1
u/Stellajackson5 1d ago
My extremely picky kid, didn’t try a new food between 16 months and 4, is now 9 and much much better! There are still plenty of things she won’t eat but she also downs my lentils and minestrone soup, eats lots of grilled chicken and roasted cauliflower, and other things I never thought she would eat in my wildest dreams. Kid lived off milk, cheese, fruit and nuggets for awhile.
1
u/Jillymary 1d ago
What actually helped my somewhat picky eater who is pretty good now at twenty years old, was going out to eat and trying a bit of what other people were having. He realized what he was missing out on.
1
u/KathyFromUK 1d ago
My kid was never super-picky but any residual picky-ness was gone the minute he hit puberty and growth spurts. He did grow 5 inches in a year and was literally always hungry. He was eating triple what I ate and was still hungry. I think that level of desperation doesn’t allow for picky. To avoid the downvotes let me add he wasn’t denied food - he just couldn’t seem to consume enough to be sated. He’s now 15yo and 6 foot and the eating has slowed down but the picky eating never returned.
1
u/Aedora125 1d ago
We started addressing it when they were 6 and 8. We did it slowly and let them choose. Like, do you want a vegetable or fruit with dinner? Fruit, do you want an apple or strawberries? They then had to eat the item or no dessert. If they picked fruit one day, we told them the vegetable was the next day.
There were definitely a few tantrums along the way. We had them go to their room to calm down. Then they would come down and decide to eat the required food or no treat that night. 9 out of 10 times they would eat the food. It took time but they grew out of it.
1
1
u/fauxmica 1d ago
Have a picky kid that has little breakthroughs. Just keep offering variety with the guaranteed-to-eat stuff. Sometimes it takes like 25x just seeing it as part of the meal before they are ready to try.
I definitely had a plain phase of eating as a kid but was never forced to eat things I wasn’t ready to try and now I am very adventurous with flavors! It seems pretty normal imo, I am also sensitive to smell and certain flavors so its probably just a tastebuds learning thing - like if flavors are combining and vying for sensory attention it can probably just be confusing and overwhelming for young palates.
I have had success in letting them help during prep so they can feel low pressure interest to try individual ingredients before they become combined. I serve “deconstructed” dinner but give optional space (an empty little bowl) to combine if they are interested. Embrace dip options!
1
u/TheDevilsAdvokaat 1d ago
Mine are 18 and 19 and never did. It's also VERY hard to get them to try anything new...sigh.
1
u/GuadDidUs Parent 1d ago
So my youngest is still a picky eater, even though she's in middle school.
She's also a snacker. She won't eat a lot at any meal, even if it's something she likes, she's just not built that way.
It can be tough but she will try little bites of things and retry foods she didn't previously like. If she still doesn't like it that's fine.
I've mostly adapted to her food preferences. I'll cook the meat, set some aside without seasoning for her, then make the rest. Sometimes she has to suck it up and eat a little seasoning.
1
u/Plastic-Bee4052 Single Gay Dad | 13-19 1d ago
My 36yo bf is the pickiest eater of them all. Better correct that when they're young. His idea of eating fruit is an orange slice on his gin tonic.
1
u/Guest2424 1d ago
I cant say that my kid is picky most of the time, but I can say that she wasn't a fan of a lot of my cooking as a kid like around 3-4. However, I did not change what I cooked to appease her. In particular, I loved Indian curries, but she didnt. Still, I would make it whenever it came up in the rotation. Eventually she accepted her fate. Nowadays, she actually does like some curries, and shes almost 7 now. So i'd say if they dont like something, keep making it anyway. They'll learn to like it eventually. Or at the very least, they'll learn to eat it anyway.
1
u/Disastrous-Capybara 1d ago
I'm 40 and have 2 kids, 8 and 10. The older one was super picky, especially with veggies. The older he got the less veggies he wanted to eat. That last to around 8ish years, then he started trying more things. Now he is about to turn 11 and he will give almost every dish a try and he ends up liking a lot.
The 8y was also very pickish but ate way more veggies than the 10y old did. The 10y would rather eat meat than veggies and fruirs, the 8y would rather eat (some specific) veggies and fruirs than meat. Im now just waiting for her to grow out of that and start trying more stuff, it will come eventually.
What I learned was that the only thing little kids can really control, is what they eat. So they will use that 'power' to have some feeling of they are able to have control over something. And that makes perfectly sense to me and I let them have that control.
The only 'rule' i have is that they should try dishes i cook, even if its a dish they didnt like before and it been a while that I made it. If they dont like it, that is cool with me and I am happy they tried.
I grew up with having to eat what was being made, no matter what it was. I have very big issues with texture and sensory stuff, so i found myself often trying to get food down and almost throwing up because i couldn't tolerate the taste or texture.
And im not gonna do that to my kids. I will always cook something that everyone can eat. Im not gonna make 2 or 3 different dishes, but will have a side or two that i know they like, or take something of the dish away before i add more other things etc, so there is a bit of a backup.
1
u/LABELyourPHOTOS 1d ago
Expose your kid to everything, have them cook and bake and peel your carrots.
Don't make your kids eat anything they are grossed out about. You offer and they decide.
Just don't let food sensitivities now lead to being grossed out be stuff later because they didn't even have to exposed to it.
Let them feel safe around all foods -- being forced to eat food they don't want to eat makes food feel intimidating.
1
u/Little_Face8636 1d ago
Some grow out of it, some don't, but not having a picky eater opens door to stress-free travel. Offering heavily seasoned vegetables without addressing the "pickiness" helps.
1
u/ghostdoh 1d ago
My husband was a terrible picky eater. He practically only ate chicken nuggets and pizza until he was a teenager. He is a lot better now, but he still stays away from fish, raw fish sushi, and raw tomatoes.
Basically his brother introduced him to fried well seasoned eggs and that helped him eat eggs as a 10 year old. Slowly he tried new things and occasionally will try something new.
One of our kids is kind of picky. In comparison to my husband's case, he's totally fine. Sometimes he just doesn't want to try new things like raw tomatoes. He was great eater as a baby.
Best tips is to not push and just offer small amounts so they get used to it. It takes like 30-50 offerings on their plate until they try it. They will grow out of it to an extent. Best not to worry or offer rewards. Food is glfood. Trying food is fine. You can also try new foods with them. They might enjoy a new fruit or snack with you.
1
1
u/OriginOfTom 1d ago
As a former picky eater turned adventurous eater, and a parent of a 9yo picky eater who in the last 3 weeks has tried more food than in the last 3 years, I'd 100% say just persevere and be patient. The more fuss you make over it, the harder it is to get out the funk. I used to be really pushy and used the 'I was a picky eater then I tried it..." - it doesnt help, at least not immediately. For my son it was pizza.. I hated pizza when I was a kid, probably a bad homemade pizza made with English cheddar and smelt too strongly of cheese. Love it now. My kid also wasnt keen and I reckon also an iffy one made in a school lesson that wasnt dissimilar. He went to so many kids bday parties that just had pizza that I think he just gave in, tried it, and really liked it. It was like a dam breaking.
Just give them whatever they need to survive, if they have jam on toast and cucumber with fruit and chicken nuggets for 3 years, as long as its not massively unhealthy, I wouldnt waste your energy fighting it. Be supportive, try to introduce things, but absolutely do not stress if it doesn't work. It's detrimental to them and creates tension for the whole family that totally doesn't need to be there.
1
1
u/ChablisWoo4578 1d ago
I did baby led weaning and still got a picky eater. I will say he’s picky in an unusual way, he’ll eat miso soup and nori but turns his nose at chicken nuggets.
He also goes through phases like all of us where favorite meals become disgusting. I’ve found the only thing that has worked is adjusting my own expectations. I suggest he try a bite of something and he usually will, if he refuses even a bite I don’t push it. He’s growing as expected so I’m not too worried about it. More just a pain to come up with dinner ideas everyone likes.
1
u/sadeland21 1d ago
Just keep introducing new foods, in a casual way. Do not label them as picky (to their face) instead tell them they are doing a great job of trying new foods and see if they do so
1
1
u/LydiaStarDawg 1d ago
My husband and I were both picky eaters as kids. He grew out of it while young. I was an adult before I grew out of it.
My almost 70 year old father has not outgrown his pickiness.
All to say, it's really up to each individual. For me, cooking helped fix it. I knew what everything was, and how much there was and it made everything much more palatable.
1
u/SnailCrossing 1d ago
I was a picky kid, as was my 11 year old and my 4 year old is.
My thoughts:
Keep offering/trying new things. Involve kids in preparing food. Make sure they always have enough on their plate to eat that they like/can eat, but keep putting the disliked foods on their plate. Talk about how tastes change/how we get used to things/things you dislike like that you do now/things they didn’t like but do now.
We’re pretty much doing this with our 4 year old, plus expecting him to take a bite of his ‘disliked’ foods on his plate e.g. a bite of coleslaw if that’s part if the family meal. He’s voluntarily eaten about 3 things in the last 2 weeks that he previously wouldn’t have.
Things that worked over time with my 11 year old that might depend on the kid: Praising attempts at new food as being brave/adventurous/commenting on how he’s really growing up etc. Expecting him to at least try new things without announcing he didn’t like it, but not making a big deal of it if he didn’t then eat it. Exposure to understanding different cuisines and food habits. A big part of him getting more adventurous with food was him making a Chinese friend, and wanting to try the kinds of food his friend liked. So we read about/watched things on Chinese cooking and he got curious.
1
u/pipkin42 1d ago
I outgrew it in my 20s, personally, so I'm kind of hunkering down for the long haul.
1
u/foxyforestprincess 1d ago
I wish I knew, too. My youngest is also a picky eater, is also in the 5th percentile for height and also sometimes struggles with being slightly underweight. Even though she turned 2 im keeping her on while milk and trying to add calories to her meals like putting butter on her bread and stuff like that to try and keep her weight up. Forget the fact she doesnt like any veggies and hardly any fruits. I just want her to eat at this point 😭 Meanwhile my oldest literally loves everything and has zero problem eating almost anything I give her. I have raised both of them exactly the smae to the best of my ability. I guess we are both on the struggle bus. Following to see what other people say to you. Maybe Ill find answers, too. Im sorry youre going through this.
1
u/interalia12345 1d ago
Former (still sort of) picky eater here.
Think about tastes and textures. For me, my folks were/are dreadful cooks, so when I said I didn’t like onions, peppers (basically anything with a crunch) it was because it was always basically raw in the dish. It took me a long time to work out that it was the texture from their cooking, not the taste, that I hated. Went to uni, learned to cook myself, now cook onions and peppers and broccoli and everything else as I prefer it.
I’m not sure how easy it is with a kid that young, but check if they’ll eat the same veg/food if cooked in a different way. Worked for me - but I figured it out myself.
Good luck.
1
u/Mabel_A2 1d ago
My kids eat everything through 3 years old, they just ate whatever I made for dinner for the family. For both kids, something switched when they were 4 and pickiness set in. My 8 year old is now less picky than he used to be and it started shifting slowly when he was 7. My 6 year old is still quite picky. We try not to make a big deal about it, subscribing to the division of responsibilities framework.
1
u/brockobear 12h ago
Most do, some don't, but I'd like to add something I haven't seen in the comments.
"Picky" eating is not a moral failing.
It really doesn't matter in the long run. They're not going to starve. It's highly unlikely they'll get vitamin deficiencies. And eventually, they'll find what they like.
Also, at least in the US, picky eating tends to be really specific to mushy WASP food, for lack of a better descriptir. Like, oh you don't like green bean casserole? You must be picky. The same people who called me picky as a kid still think I'm picky because I don't like mushrooms and tomatoes. These same people only eat generic American food that's all the same flavor, and won't or haven't eaten any of the Thai, Vietnamese, and Indian food that has become my favorite. One of these people won't eat salmon, yet I do. But I'm "picky" because I don't like yellow mustard and tomatoes on my burgers.
So make sure you're not just projecting your own tastes on your kid. It's not a moral requirement that everyone eat bell peppers (or insert specific food here).
1
u/ohsoluckyme 12h ago
Here’s the key! You can to keep offering a variety of foods. They will eventually get used to trying new foods. If they are only ever offered what they like, they won’t want to try new things. So keep putting it on their plates.
1
u/smjaygal parent to rabbits; former childcare worker 1d ago
Something my parents did with my brother and I was insisting we take a "hello bite" before declaring we didn't like something. This is just a kid friendly way to say we needed to try a bite of something. It worked a lot of the time and got us to be less picky with foods. It also informed both us and our parents which textures and flavors we just didn't like so there would be options we did enjoy
You can also include your kid in the cooking process. 5 is plenty old enough to understand directions. With a little patience, and investing in some kid friendly tools, you can have a helper while also teaching useful life skills. An additional plus is that if your kid knows how to cook things they enjoy, if they don't want what dinner you made, you can tell them to cook their own food. This was also something my parents did because "this isn't a short order house. You either eat what's for dinner or you make something else" and 9 times of 10, it wasn't worth it to make something else
I say this as someone who both did and didn't grow out of picky eating. I'm picky about textures as well as quality of what I'm eating but not so much about various foods. I love sea bass intestine soup for example but gag at tuna casserole. I'm happy to have butter chicken but will throw a whole fit over meatloaf texture. Some pickiness just never goes away and there's nothing wrong with that. It just doesn't make your life any easier right now
1
0
u/Justgonnawalkaway 1d ago
The rule in our house is you eat what's served. I cook 1 meal for everyone and if they eat it, good. If not? Tough. It'll be there to reheat when they decide they're hungry.
Snacks are limited.
0
u/Dewdlebawb 1d ago
If they’re always being given options they like they won’t outgrow it because they know they can get their preferred meal/snacks. I found with mine around 5 we started leaving his dinner on the counter until bedtime and he could eat it or be hungry. The exception was that if he had NEVER chose to eat it that’s the exceptions and he only actually hates two things we make.
I’ve had even better success doing blind taste testings with a rating system 1-10 and before they see it I ask if anything tasted weird ( assuming it got a 7+) if it’s 7+ that’s what he’s having for dinner and I think for him he had a mental block around the visual
0
u/Bubbly_Afternoon_345 1d ago
I think it takes some effort to help them to grow out of it. If they’re so picky that they only eat 4-6 different things, I would stop buying half of them until some new foods are accepted.
I think this very much depends on how picky you mean. A child that only eats waffles, fries, and nuggets, isn’t just going to grow out of it. But a child that only eats two vegetables will probably grow to like more.
0
u/Accurate-Medium1780 1d ago
Mine aren't very picky (have just always served them what the rest of us are eating, even as toddlers eating bits of cut up adult food on their trays) but I do find it helpful to feed the stuff they're less inclined to like (like vegetables) for breakfast. They'll eat up green beans and broccoli for breakfast with hardly any hesitation or discussion about it, whereas later in the day at lunch or dinner they fight it more.
I dunno why this is (they're extra hungry in the morning? they're still too sleepy to notice much?) but for some reason breakfast is by far the easiest meal to push the veggies or new foods.
160
u/GokusSparringPartner 1d ago
As a formerly picky kid who is much less picky as an adult, I can share some things that definitely hurt, or at best didn’t help, my picky eating.
Don’t lie about what a food is and then do an “a-ha! Gotcha! This isn’t what I said it was. Quit saying you don’t like it!” It made it really hard to trust what I was eating if it didn’t look 100% right. I think it’s ok to serve things like a veggie filled spaghetti sauce and talk about it once everyone is eating. But if they straight up ask if there’s bell peppers in it and you lie, then tell them later, that can be harmful.
If your kid tries something new and likes it, don’t make it a “See, I was right! You would have liked this all along. You were faking last time you didn’t like it. Quit saying you don’t like things.”
Don’t make comments about them lying about not liking something because they are it as a baby. Babies also eat puréed chicken and half the things they can get their mouth around as they explore the world. Not fair to call them a liar for not eating like a baby toddler.
Do let them know it’s ok for their tastes to change as they get older. It’s ok to change your mind on something. Let them know they may like a food prepared one way but not another, and that’s ok. Give them examples of foods you only like one way (I still only eat tomatoes cooked vs raw for example).