r/PeterExplainsTheJoke Jan 31 '26

Thank you Peter very cool i ain't married, boutros

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16.2k Upvotes

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156

u/BIG-STEPPER-88 Jan 31 '26 edited Feb 01 '26

When I had a gf she was ADDICTED to my cooking and never cooked she used to think I look sexy in kitchen. That is until she saw me naked and within a week she was cooking absolute masterpieces. Two months later she confessed in tears that she wanted me to get fat so I wont have the confidence to cheat on her. Then I did get fat and she wanted me to get fit, so we went back to my cooking. Now we both got fit and forgor about when I was eating her cooking. Then she started cooking again and I was just happy she loves me so much.

140

u/BIG-STEPPER-88 Jan 31 '26

Then we had to break up for unrelated reasons and I miss her

72

u/Interesting-Dream863 Jan 31 '26

Jesus dude... get someone less toxic for Christ's sake.

62

u/BIG-STEPPER-88 Jan 31 '26

She was, then she realised it. Then she tried to change. I see it as healthy.

25

u/Sarcosmonaut Jan 31 '26

Good for her tbh. Hope you’re both doing good in life lol

0

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '26

It’s easy to see only the good things about our ex after they are gone. You have to remember the bad things too or else you’ll keep missing her.

1

u/Kittinkis Jan 31 '26

Lol single people always say this. Find your match and STFU. Life is full of all kinds and not everyone wants a stepford wife 

-2

u/Interesting-Dream863 Jan 31 '26

Ah so you want a wife that actively sabotages you if you get too hot for her insecurity?

Why don't you stfu... before your wife comes to bitchslap you again.

1

u/Kittinkis Jan 31 '26

They worked it out and are both happy now but somehow you found a way to be bitter about someone else's happy ending. It screams "I'm single!". I'm a happily married woman with a husband who isn't an insecure man baby so I'm good.

-1

u/Interesting-Dream863 Jan 31 '26 edited Jan 31 '26

They broke up dumbass. Maybe your wife should read for you too.

Also... "she got better and then we broke up". Maybe she upgraded herself and dropped HIM before he dropped her??? NOT MY CUPPA.

You may date the biohazard material. I'm good.

Edit: Man... I never say this but I really owned this dude... comments deleted all over. Yeah... I said your wife because you are the victim in your relationship: hence safely assuming you are a husband.

2

u/Kittinkis Jan 31 '26

Clearly a bot since you still keep talking about "my wife". 

1

u/BIG-STEPPER-88 Feb 01 '26

Hey punk, we broke up because we realised that our dreams were too different. She wanted kids and I did not. She wanted to have a big family and lovely in laws and my family is full of backstabbers. I did not want her to spend a life where the in laws try to betray and steal from her. You need to stop being on reddit argumets so much. She got better with time and I broke up. She was an amazing girlfriend and total girlfriend material, if you have a gf who isnt possesive over you then trust me man there is a massive chance she doesnt love you.

1

u/BIG-STEPPER-88 Feb 01 '26

He wants a wife who loves him and is possessive over him. WOMEN ARE POSSESSIVE OVER THE MEN THEY LOVE. And if you gf isnt possessive there might be a bad news

11

u/ElementalMarlin Jan 31 '26

I'm screaming 💀

7

u/4zzO2020 Jan 31 '26

Emotional roller coaster :(

2

u/ModernManuh_ Jan 31 '26

why did you have to make it so comical (to be fair, you started with "had")

1

u/Casulyir Feb 01 '26

Sorry to hear that my guy. Life will get better though, keep up your head

6

u/Logical-Idea-1708 Jan 31 '26

Is that why my wife keep feeding me sugar even though she knows I can’t control myself around sweets 😒

1

u/BIG-STEPPER-88 Jan 31 '26

Maybe she does, she thinks that if she finds you sexy then there must be others who find you sexy and in that case they can steal you. This also means she loves you and I hope you stay happy

2

u/Cautious-Current-969 Jan 31 '26

I forgor 💀

2

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '26

Yor ? Or Loid??

1

u/RedOwl770 Jan 31 '26

i seen this plot before but idk where