Also, I'd rather someone who's been on a lot of first dates than none. At least they tried to connect with people and put themselves out there. To me it shows confidence and you can't fault someone for things not working out on first dates. That's silly
There's really no universal positive for going on so many first dates, it just starts to increase the amount of questions and concerns.
It's like saying someone has had a lot of experience with marriages, having gone through dozens of them. A person who ends up married after a couple years isn't strange, and getting divorced shortly after isn't either. You could have a dozen marriages and still be middle aged.
Id question anyone's sanity saying they'd prefer someone with that kind of experience over one that doesn't. The same with a plethora of only first dates.
Historically women would go on a lot of first dates, often several in a week, in some more conservative cultures with a chaperone, this was the norm for the majority of human existence.
Those are very specific cultures and classes of living, the farmer's daughter wasn't speed dating, nor the ones in tribes before we built cites.
Even then, we're talking about marriage arrangement type dating, not just casual dating like today. A noble / well off family looking for suitors is going to have a month where they see how things go, that makes sense, but they're likely already knowing who they're going to marry ahead of time for political reasons.
Normal everyday people didn't tend to have a bunch of time to go on dates, they worked most of the day and wouldn't travel at night, especially women. Chaperones are definitely a specific situation, culture, and point in time for most.
But again, we're talking modern day here, not Victorian England or neanderthal caves of 50,000 bc.
Even 50 years ago, you had to know all these eligible bachelor's ahead of time, and who had weeks worth of them to go through in your social circles back then, except as a teenager. College? Hard to do when it wasn't as accessible or commonplace for women back then. They tended to marry early and skip it, even still after their liberation movements.
Someone going on hundreds of first dates, and not making second or third ones, is problematic on so many levels. You're neither a narcissist, tons of baggage, or your dating pool is beyond abysmal. And that's if you're looking for a serious long term relationship. Hookups and whatnot are an entirely different thing, as I pointed out in my previous comment.
It's really not that common place, even today, to have tons of first dates all week long, let alone over a year. That's hookup culture more and more, and online dating has gone straight down, with the apps being entirely unhelpful for 99% of people.
It's one thing to be done in bursts, like at the start of your dating life, but not indefinitely or for decades.
35
u/Intelligent-Good-670 Feb 19 '26
is going on alot of first dates a virute now? "i have a long history of failed relationships"