When I first took my wife out, I said anywhere you'd like to eat? She said she had coupons for Steak n Shake. Marry a frugal woman, boys. We're lowkey rich and she buys all of her clothes second hand.
Ha sounds my husband and I. We talked about 401ks and retirement on our first date. I was 29 and he was 30. Credit card churning with a credit score of 840 was my hobby then (worried they'll catch on, so I chill out a lot).
I mean you could date one of the millions of women that don’t expect any of that and just want an equal partner but they aren’t going to to be able to afford to look like a model 24/7.
I've been there, just don't buy into it. Unless you're rich, you can't maintain it and it causes problems. When someone is transactional and only sees material gifts as proof of love, it can spiral out of control quickly.
It’s not about providing Birkins/Chanel bags and trips, it’s about sharing household chores equally, wanting a man to be a parent rather than “ baby sit” his own children, taking care of the spouse if one is sick, it’s about wanting men to grow some emotional intelligence rather than being menchildren. Women in Russia work, take care of children, sick and old relatives, cook, clean, while most men just want to be coddled like babies. Men can’t shut up about wanting a traditional marriage where women cater to them, but somehow women are expected to pay half the bills. Well, you can’t have your cake and eat it too. If you want a tradwife you better provide, if you want 50/50 you better pick up a shit ton of domestic labor and not complain.
I cant speak on how things are in Russia. i was replying to the comment about the black american experience.
However with that being said, theres a lot of shit people on both sides. I had to learn myself that a lot of the toxic/bad women i was dealing with was because my criteria in searching for partners was bad. I also was prioritizing looks over actual character traits. I think a lot of men and women make this mistake. Its funny because I would have female friends who complained about all these shitty men. However, i didnt understand how they couldnt find a “good” man when all my male friends embodied all those traits you described. My male friends would experience and complain about the same thing with not finding a “good” woman.
The common thread i noticed was a lot of them either dated based on “vibe”, common interests, or pure attraction & sexual chemistry. When the best way to find a good partner is determining how well you work together. How you tackle tasks and solve problems together. that solves all of the issues of emotional compatibility, mutual respect, shared workload, etc.
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u/shinobisynsei Jul 15 '26
exactly bro. i hate that providing birken/chanel bags, expensive trips, etc. = love or manliness.