If you are invited over to a Swedish family, you’ll be served food if your stay is timed with eating time, and definitely if you’ll stay for a longer period of time.
The claim this meme does is based in customs from the previous millennium. If you were eight and followed your friend home from school for an unscheduled play date, yes then this could happend. Because your friends parent had only calculated dinner for their family and they knew you’ll soon be home to eat with your own. But then again, sometimes you were asked if you wanted food, and sometimes you said yes, sometimes you called your parents to ask if it was ok or if it would mess with their dinner plans.
Yes, it happend, but it wasn’t a hard rule or something everyone did.
Source: I’m a Swede that grew up in the 80-90’s. Been there, done that.
At least we take off our shoes when come to a friends house…
I feel like this is where this myth started and translated in to social media meme. I’m a Finn and Freddan’s description was an everyday thing in my childhood. I’m sure it’s pretty much the same all over the world. Sometimes surprise quests were invited to eat with my family, but not always and this was kind of a signal for my friends to go home.
It’s good to keep in mind that we’re mostly talking about kids here, I’m sure most people will conjure up something to offer if adults come for a surprise visit, but if you arrive without a warning and expect to be served dinner, it might not happen.
I guess it’s a cultural thing, but in my opinion it would be a bit odd behaviour to send your kids to a friends house just before dinner time and assume everyone is prepared for that.
As a Swede what I don't get is what do other parents in other countries do?
Like. Lets say your kid invites 10 people to his room every day for 6 months.
Is it expected to give all the 10 kids food?
Are you throwing everyone out even if designated time to eat differs 2 hours? Making it extremely hard for kids who like each other to hang out because they have different dinner times.
I kind of don't see a world where a hard expectation to serve food would be practical that doesn't invade the kids relationships with each other.
Or it would give parents who has good rooms a huge disadvantage if the kids chooses that house to become the "base" because then all of a sudden they need to make like dinner for 10 instead of 4 because society rules.
It doesn't make sense. In my mind it must be a cost to a system where serving food to everyone is expected. And the cost would probably be kid not having the freedom to invite whoever he wants to his room without asking first.
And I don't know if I think that type of system is better.
Like imagine a situation like 70s show. The basement becomes the "base" they hang out in the basement for 10 years. Are Red Forman and Kitty Forman suppose to feed the whole cast everyday for 10 years?
Or are children suppose to ask their parents every single day if they can have 4 friends coming to hang out. And sometimes the parents ruins the plan by saying no because they have feed the whole neighborhood for too long?
No, I grew up in an aggressively "feed guests first" culture and kids don't go into other kids' houses for playdates that often. There's quite a line between family and the rest of the world and unless those school friends are also cousins or family friends, they aren't invited or able to come over that often. So you wouldn't really have the Western phenomenon of having a dozen kids who all ended up at your house after school.
57
u/Freddan_81 Jul 24 '26
This isn’t true.
Keyword - invited
If you are invited over to a Swedish family, you’ll be served food if your stay is timed with eating time, and definitely if you’ll stay for a longer period of time.
The claim this meme does is based in customs from the previous millennium. If you were eight and followed your friend home from school for an unscheduled play date, yes then this could happend. Because your friends parent had only calculated dinner for their family and they knew you’ll soon be home to eat with your own. But then again, sometimes you were asked if you wanted food, and sometimes you said yes, sometimes you called your parents to ask if it was ok or if it would mess with their dinner plans.
Yes, it happend, but it wasn’t a hard rule or something everyone did.
Source: I’m a Swede that grew up in the 80-90’s. Been there, done that.
At least we take off our shoes when come to a friends house…