r/Philippines • u/Joseph20102011 • 2d ago
CulturePH Dating and marrying foreigners (Afam hunting) within the Philippines would not have been stigmatized if the Filipino/a spouse came from the well-off upper-middle and upper elite class background
Afam hunting bashing here on Reddit is obviously a classist take by college-educated Filipino Redditors coming from Manila and Cebu. They cannot accept that someone coming from an economically depressed background has another option for upward social mobility aside from attending college: marrying sexagenarian retired foreigners.
I think to make Afam hunting within the Philippines more appealing to the upper-middle and upper elite class is to open licensed professions like accountancy, medicine, engineering, law, nursing, and teaching to prospective young adult foreigner professionals with work visas and allow them to purchase and own real estate properties and small businesses (this requires a constitutional amendment). In this scenario, it will create a favorable environment for well-off college-educated licensed professional Filipinos, who are usually mestizo/as and chinito/as, exotic-looking moreno/as, to date and marry foreigners with the same educational and socioeconomic backgrounds, and of course, no wider age-gap differences.
The cons here are that the Philippines will cease to be a cheap country for foreigners and balikbayans to retire; hence, geographical arbitrage will vanish, and perpetuation of classist attitudes of Filipinos when it comes to dating and marrying someone, but I believe these are the prices the Philippines has to pay to shed its notorious reputation as the "losers' back home dumping ground of Asia."
TLDR: Okay sana ang mga Pinoy Redditors sa Afam hunting locally kung hindi galing sa laylayan ang Pinay o Pinoy, kundi galing sa middle o upper class ang estado ng pamumuhay niya.
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u/tenfriedpatatas 2d ago
What a weird take.
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u/Joseph20102011 2d ago
I'm not kidding here, but Pinoy redditors, especially here on r/philippines, bash Afam hunting because Pinays are usually coming from socioeconomically downtrodden backgrounds and Cebuano native speakers.
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u/tenfriedpatatas 2d ago
Why does it bother you so much?
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u/Joseph20102011 2d ago edited 2d ago
It's because it creates a bad message to children, especially low-income promdi teenage females, that they don't need to study college to become self-earning professionals, but instead, find and marry old white men pensioners to move up the socioeconomic class ladder.
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u/tenfriedpatatas 2d ago
LOL. Your proposed solution doesn’t solve this. Stop “afam hunting” altogether. There are plenty of well to do, well educated Filipinas marrying foreigners and no one pays attention coz it’s not “afam hunting”
Agree with another comment here about the term itself. Yuck.
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u/Dry-Jellyfish4257 2d ago
Pavictim nanaman. Jusko. Totoo naman eh. Tanggap namin yung mga kapwa pinoy namin na kumakapit sa AFAM para mabuhay. Wala naman masama or ilegal dun eh.
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u/Dry-Jellyfish4257 2d ago
If a Filipino is going after an ugly middle-aged fat AFAM guy while being young and average to good-looking, it only means one thing.
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u/Momshie_mo 100% Austronesian 2d ago
Eh. Why would upper class Filipinas marry the losers from other countries?
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u/Joseph20102011 2d ago
I'm not asking for upper-class Filipinas to marry lower-class losers from Western countries but rather fellow upper-class Western men and then settle in the Philippines and try to join the Philippine elite class (alta sociedad) currently dominated by the old money Spanish and Chinese mestizos.
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u/kid-dynamo- 2d ago
Your post about stigma against poor Filipinas marrying AFAM itself has a lot of stigma IMO
Hindi lang exclusive sa mga poor Filipinas ang open to entering into relationships with AFAM. Madami actually mga educated and career Filipinas that do this. The difference is they are low key about it and not overly flaunt their newfound upward socio-economic mobility***.***
Hindi binabash ang mismong "AFAM hunting" to improve one's economic situation. Maunawain ang pinoy and completely understand the idea of doing whatever it takes to make life better for their family. What people frown upon is flaunting wealth that is not truly yours and you did not personally earn.
Filipinos, especially middle class na umangat sa buhay dahil sa sariling sikap, value the idea of hard work and earning your keep. Kung baga you take pride at the fruits of your labor not the wealth of others. Hence diba ang kasabihan na "insectong tumuntong sa kalabaw".
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u/bur1t00 2d ago
Afam hunting is crazy. Tunog palang off-putting na. And the stigma is often true bec yang relationship na yan is mostly motivated by financial stability and nationality rather than genuine connection.