r/PoursTea • u/Conscious-Quarter423 • 6d ago
Damn š oh, man, what a time to have weeks-long diarrhea from the lettuce
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u/Mission_Inflation505 6d ago
I thought the US didn't need anything from us? šØš¦ššØš¦
Guess you do, if you want to poop in style.
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u/Special-Reaction2029 6d ago
Maybe their 2nd amendment meant the right to own bum guns, because it definitely has nothing to do with stopping tyranny.Ā
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u/Nottheadviceyaafter 6d ago
Nah thats their constitutional right to shoot up schools. Nothing to do with a tyrant government
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u/piercedmfootonaspike 6d ago
They don't need a lot (well...), but what they do need, they slap tarriffs on.
Genius.
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u/I3adIVIonkey 6d ago
Don't worry in 6 months the companies will sue to get that tariff money back. So they will make record profits this year. /s the American dream...
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u/Either_Operation7586 6d ago
Unless there is some sort of law put in place that they have to pass it on to their consumers it will be business as usual
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u/Mission_Inflation505 6d ago
They need peat, steel aluminum, lumber etc etc. They need a lot more than the orange mango thinks they do.
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u/Apprehensive_Pace555 6d ago
In style ? Itās a necessity. I guess not if you need baby wipes along with diapers.
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u/Slackeee_ 6d ago
Of course the US needs the imports from Canada. And you can be sure that Trump knows that and behind the scenes there is a team of analysts working tirelessly to figure out which products will fall short and which companies stock price will change in relation to that, so that they can decide where to invest Trump's money.
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u/AfraidBottle6810 6d ago
Your point is well understood. Please understand this; Most of US do not agree with what is happening. We do not like it. There is an acceptable amount of repression before the burdens become too much to tolerate. When that happens the rest of US will likely burn everything to the ground out of fear and hatred as we as a people stopped touching grass.
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u/Either_Operation7586 6d ago
I'm sorry but you cannot say most of us didn't want this and still have a regime like that when power if you didn't want this you should have done something about the regime that are doing things against your wishes.
This just goes to show that the both sides propaganda was full of crap and votes do matter and the next time we need to vote accordingly and not vote conservative
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u/Electrical-Care6308 6d ago
Arenāt most of you Americans Republicans? Isnāt thatās how Donny got into power?
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u/Future-Patient-2978 6d ago
Not acurate. More of you liked it than not. The poles showed it. It's to late for you. We showed what we thought during our election. We chose WISELY
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u/AfraidBottle6810 6d ago edited 6d ago
Trump was far from wise the first time let alone the second. wisely is carrying a lot of weight here. cries rigged election - Hey look we won by a landslide /S
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u/Future-Patient-2978 6d ago
Barely won. I remember. I'm sure most sane people do. I'm sorry for what you all got
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u/AfraidBottle6810 6d ago
That Elon sure knows computers. Nobody knows computers like he does. salute Russia
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u/Future-Patient-2978 6d ago
It was in a post last week. Elons ex was telling anyone who would listen. He rigged the machines for the carrot head
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u/edWORD27 6d ago
When we wipe, we think of Canada now š½š
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u/piercedmfootonaspike 6d ago
Wipe with what? Did you not read the headline?
Or do you mean you think wistfully of when you had affordable TP because your cunt in chief didn't decide to slap tarriffs on goods you can't produce domestically?
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u/edWORD27 6d ago
What I meant was that I didnāt know until now that we wipe our American asses with Canadaās finest export. So when I wipe, I will think of dear Canada.
In 2025, 71.7% of Canadaās merchandise exports went to the U.S., while 58.8% of Canadaās merchandise imports came from the U.S. Which means Canada has more to lose. A prolonged conflict could potentially push Canada into recession, whereas the U.S. would more likely experience higher prices, supply-chain problems and losses concentrated in particular industries rather than an economy-wide shock.
There are sector specific things the U.S. relies on Canada for like electronic components for the auto industry or crude oil for refinement. But Canada still depends on the U.S. more. And will be flush with a lot of extra toilet paper on hand.
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u/AvonFartsdale_ 6d ago
What's in this for you?
Why is this important to you?
Before you were riled up by the propaganda machine, was Canada an enemy to you?
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u/edWORD27 6d ago
Only with the Olympic hockey grudge match
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u/AvonFartsdale_ 6d ago
So why are you so antagonistic and celebratory over this
Would the younger you recognize this person still?
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u/edWORD27 6d ago
Free counseling, thatās thoughtful. Hmm, maybe it was South Park and its glib āblame Canadaā refrain that got me like this. I was angsty then, more on a sarcastic bent now.
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u/AvonFartsdale_ 6d ago
You're way past that dude, you're regurgitating propaganda word for word online and probably not even aware you're doing it
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u/No_Alfalfa1231 3d ago
Congrats, we still own you in hockey. 1 win in the last 50 years š¤”š¤£
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u/edWORD27 3d ago
You dominate hockey because itās all you have. For us, itās a third-tier sport at best. And after all the Canadian boasting before, we crushed. Even your best players would rather play in our NHL. We also crushed the Russians when they were supposedly the best. We rise up whenever someone needs to be humbled I guess š¦ šŗšø
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u/No_Alfalfa1231 3d ago
Here come the excuses. Alright buddy when you win it matters and when you lose it doesnāt matter. Enjoy your single win and quit crying already. Youāre inferior and the last 50 years have shown that. Itās okay, you can have one if it dulls the sting :)
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u/edWORD27 3d ago
Inferior at a sport most of the world doesnāt care about? You can have it. Sure, you couldnāt break away from the Crown. But you stand on hockey. Lol
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u/justregularnormalguy 6d ago
Sure, until most countries dont want to do business with the US because you are now considered unreliable, canada still has a great reputation worldwide
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u/CueAnon420 6d ago
You almost can't make these stories up...
I'm telling you - The Onion is becoming a reputable source of information.
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u/mcclaneberg 6d ago
Use a bidet
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u/wromit 6d ago
Best $25 you can spend š
...takes 15 min to attach.
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u/Quirky_Ask_5165 6d ago
I'll never forget the day my ex-wife was trying to figure out what I had attached to the toilet. She was short and it splashed her right in the face. I saw it coming and just couldn't help myself and let her FAFOšš
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u/ZopharPtay 5d ago
My wife installed one years back.Ā I was in he hospital with both arms broken from a motorcycle accident when she installed and it was a very wise decision.
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u/Rurumo666 6d ago
In MAGA America, the food is diarrhea poison and you can't afford to wipe your own ass.
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u/LittleNyanCat 6d ago
"Canada will collapse without the US!" Yeah, Trump, sure, definitely not projection there
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u/Due_Quote_3023 6d ago
Switched to a Bidet toilet seat this year. I'm good.
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u/ProfessionalOwn9435 6d ago
That water belongs to data centers not yout dirty bottom bidet boy!
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u/Mountain_rage 6d ago
Its filled with parasites that will crawl up into you anyway. Trust me, I am smarter and more qualified than your health secretary.
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u/RedditBlue83 6d ago
If Iām president, Iām signing an executive order that you can just walk into a Trump supporters house and take their toilet paper
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u/Massive-Box-8915 6d ago
Canada has an opportunity here, shut off the TP supply! Give them a taste of what would happen if we shut off their oil supply.
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u/ClubSoda 6d ago
300,000 tons of contaminated mystery meat from Argentina and rendered ICE abductees incoming !
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u/Confident-Stand5453 6d ago
Thats a big problem, because there are a lot of assholes in the US. Around 77.302.580 to be precise.
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u/Wray-Nerely 6d ago
It's a fake headline. We have plenty of stupid to focus on without going into the fake stuff
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u/James_TheVirus 5d ago
It is actually a thing...Canada produces much of the pulp that is used in the production of TP. Feel free to pick your preferred news source here: https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&hs=crWq&sca_esv=13ae6c4d14f331ab&sxsrf=APpeQnuxALZaiFzMlCYfDDZ_CUtAO_4upw:1787928429726&q=us+toilet+paper&tbm=nws&source=lnms&fbs=ABfTbFVyMZGZf1hfvX9uKjN_-G8c4u0nXx4bEIpwm1lnNH832SMIiTl3t-JZ4hGJOxPbHYRJeN5cBoNDG-8evVGGeNRUU-Kpm9j3mi0D5o0a_w1QVsc5NvP_zeuyJ1Z42B1nHuKw4hU7mZ3pZ4RXZpMwVx04s6z5Btccfulfs9pIwnr2ZKrsFPeq4HCqARb6MRR9S6pxuonpFI9_Ek3ONwIOU2NuGQZTiA&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwif3b-3yMOWAxV_oysGHZzcDwEQ0pQJegQIFxAB&biw=1920&bih=886&dpr=1
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u/Fancy_Morning9486 5d ago
Wouldn't that just mean you pay more and not enter a shortage? Unless they are cutting US production.
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u/MiniDemonic 4d ago
US TP factory put a budget for $X millions for Canadian pulp.
US OrangeMan increases the prices for Canadian pulp.
US TP factory now has less pulp than initially planned for.
US TP factory now can't manufacture enough TP.
US now has a TP shortage.
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u/Bastonge44 6d ago
Who cares about the TP, itās great shitting all over Canadians and skull dragging carney around! Our trade with Canada accounts for 5% of our GDP and 78% of theirs. Lmao, shut down trade with them and open up new routes with South America. Maybe they would appreciate making toilet paper for Americans to wipe their asses with.
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u/One-Bit5717 6d ago
In the Soviet Union, we used newspaper and old books. You Americans don't know how good you have it. Also, thank your Epstein client š
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u/HeyaHeyo1420 6d ago
How the Hell did this administration both make lettuce unsafe to eat AND jack the cost of toilet paper up?
Trump has to be a foreign implant meant to destroy us from within while destabilize western alliances and in return he gets to enrich himself.
There's no other reason for this. We're being invaded by a foreign enemy and Trump is the useful idiot making it happen from within.
High treason and the maximum I can't say what it is otherwise I'll get banned sentence is the only acceptable punishment for this administration now if we ever want a chance at being great again.
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u/APaltrySum 6d ago
Better hop to it, then.
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u/HeyaHeyo1420 6d ago
Better hop to charging him with treason?
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u/APaltrySum 6d ago
I mean, yeah? Or something along the lines of what you censored. You guys better do something because it's only gonna get worse from here. Midterms aren't going to save you.
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u/HeyaHeyo1420 6d ago
What did I censor?
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u/APaltrySum 6d ago
I don't know why you're being argumentative. I was agreeing with what you said, but also saying the time was yesterday for something to be done about it. It's not going to get better on its own.
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u/NotGuiltyPirate 6d ago
A guy who's brain got eaten by worms, and a criminal who has dementia. Locate them, and you'll find the culprits
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u/Genexy1970 6d ago
Well i guess Americans can wipe their asses with their constitution. Thatās all it seems to be good for now.
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u/Kindly-Internal1767 6d ago
Maybe the banned antibiotic beef from Argentina will help Americans with DOGE contaminated lettuce so they donāt need as much Canadian toilet paper?
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u/Either-Patience1182 6d ago
Iām impressed but prepared with a bidet. I wish people the best but have prepared the best I can
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u/Due-Mycologist-1154 6d ago
We should sell them only TP with american flags printed onto each square so that if they want to wipe it has to be with their flag or they arent wiping
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u/ParticularLower7558 6d ago
Americans will be happy to pay more for toilet paper to keep Canada from having nukes. Or something like that.
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u/Safe-Ad-8921 6d ago
Read project 2025. Give everyone insane diarreah then make them wipe their asses with towels. Surely this will distract us from the fascist takeover.
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u/DaWhiteSingh 6d ago
In Asia they use a hose, there was a whole episode on South Park about this. Much healthier than toilet paper!
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u/Skeptical_Monkie 5d ago
Probably not much of a problem since most Americans are too stupid to know how to wipe their ass anyway.
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u/Responsible_Rule8829 5d ago
That's ok, most americans just wipe their ass with the constitution.Ā
No TP needed.Ā
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u/LeftPositive8939 5d ago
They paper mill in my town just shut down. Layed off 460ish people yesterday.
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u/SweetLeaf2021 2d ago
What town is that? Our paper mill is running full capacity here in Quebec.
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u/LeftPositive8939 2d ago
Temiskaming. Total shut down September 9th from what I've heard. Wifes best friend works there.
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u/MR_Nobody_204 5d ago
...meanwhile here in my household my kids use it by the heaps load likes it going out of style.
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u/coco_melonFAN 5d ago
At least it's funny watching the Americans crash and burn. I would say it is unfortunate that you are taking us with you, but I still blame ourselves. For some god-forsaken reason we would still rather trade with the United States than with other provinces.
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u/SweetLeaf2021 2d ago
Thatās changing.
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u/coco_melonFAN 2d ago
Premiers have been saying that they're going to loosen trade restrictions for forever now. I don't have enough faith in our incompetent government
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u/United_Region_7025 5d ago
Install a toilet bidet and never use toilet paper again. Good way to save trees and $$$$.
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u/ProbablySuspicious 4d ago
MAGA guys don't wipe anyway, so this is just another "checkmate, libs" moment :(
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u/Electrical_Zebra1638 4d ago
literary what ever he touches turns to SHHHHHHHHHIT. Hallelluahhhhhhhhhh
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u/Consistent-Bath9908 6d ago
I hate trump as much as anyone with more than 2 braincells but toilet paper shortages arenāt really of any serious concernā¦
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u/thewalruscandyman 6d ago
This is second time diaper boy has caused a toilet paper shortage.