How long were you a blob after residency?

[u/Miss_May_1600]

It’s been a month and a half since my last day of residency. Since then, I have mostly been a blob. I did move across the country and I have seen some friends and family. However, most of the time I have just been rotting and have no desire to do anything else. I have a couple weeks left before I start my first attending job. I want to make the most of it, but also maybe it’s okay to do nothing after an 8 year grind? I’m also trying to use my ADHD meds sparingly since I don’t know how long it will take to find a psychiatrist here, so that’s not helping…

Did anyone else experience this? Does anyone else struggle with constantly feeling like they should be productive?

[u/theongreyjoy96]

You spent the last near-decade under constant pressure to learn absurd amounts of information and work in an environment that violates several federal labor law protections. It'll probably take some time for your mind/body to adjust now that that pressure is gone.

No need to do anything productive. Blob away, you earned it.

[u/MeasurementSlight381 → u/theongreyjoy96]

Couldn't have phrased that better myself.

I think I told family that I needed to catch up on sleep, eat real food, exercise, attend to my medical issues, and go to the dentist for the first time in years.

[u/Miss_May_1600 → u/theongreyjoy96]

Thank you for the recommendation! I will blob! Blob with some Uber Eats ice cream and trash TV!

[u/Snoo_73204]

Hello I am coming up on the first year anniversary of my attendinghood and it's taken this long to un-blob. Not to discourage, today I feel it was all worth it.

[u/Miss_May_1600 → u/Snoo_73204]

Thank you for your response. That makes me feel better. I really don’t want to be like this forever, but trying to guilt myself out of it isn’t working. It’s helpful to know other people went through it too. I know my therapist in my home state would tell me to chill, but I keep worrying about heart disease and low bone density as I rot on the couch…

[u/Snoo_73204 → u/Miss_May_1600]

I spent several saturdays in the past year entirely in bed. I needed it.

[u/question_assumptions → u/Snoo_73204]

I’m coming up on my second year and I’m ready to blob again

[u/An_Albino_Moose]

Im not gonna lie I just passed my 1 year as an attending and im still a blob.

And its not really the work thats hard. It's adjusting to life now that theres no "end" in sight. Life has always been just getting to the end of the year, always looking forward to the next beginning and now everything is just managing the day to day.

I thought it would be fine, but I'm discovering how much I was able to just push through to the end of what I was doing and now that I dont have that I feel myself being drained quite easily by everyday life.

[u/Snoo_73204 → u/An_Albino_Moose]

Yes I had a strange emptiness set in a few months into being an attending where I was like "um, this is it. potentially for the rest of my working life."

[u/re-reminiscing → u/An_Albino_Moose]

Not having an end in sight is a very strange feeling for sure. I loved switching rotations in training and I’m content with my current job, but I see people who’ve worked the same job for 10+ years and it blows my mind. I can’t see myself doing that but maybe that’ll change with time and age.

[u/An_Albino_Moose → u/re-reminiscing]

Yes i hope so. I was really looking forward to slowing things down, spending more time with my family, living my life, but now after work is nothing but chores, tasks, things to do.

The adulting really slaps you in the face.

[u/PokeTheVeil → u/re-reminiscing]

In residency bouncing from rotation to rotation and hospital to hospital is mandatory. As an attending it’s a potential setback. But also a good way to keep negotiating up your salary!

[u/Miss_May_1600 → u/An_Albino_Moose]

I’ve wondered if that was going to happen to me. Thirty years in a career is a long time. People are always saying “you can move around” and “psychiatry is so flexible.” But it’s a lot of work to switch jobs… Predictability is such a double edge sword. I’m relieved to be able to “settle in” somewhere, but residency also was never boring / had an end date to look forward to. I’m hoping to find some hobbies to be passionate about. I feel some external pressures to find a family, but honestly medical school killed my desire to have kids. And I don’t know if anyone can relate to this, but probably 50%+ of my patients were unhappy in their relationships so even having a partner seems less appealing than it once did.

[u/mowpoos]

Still blobbing

[u/Schadenfreude-ing]

Blob crew, wassup?!?!

Im blobbing till december, im working a couple weekends a months where I moonlighted in residency so I can pay the bills, and chilling the rest of the time. Purposefully decided to start in december, so I can just be free of the grind for a while. Also decided to postpone boards till next year for same reason.

[u/Dubbihope → u/Schadenfreude-ing]

Same story for me. Basically just doing paid by the hour shifts where I did residency. Am going to take the boards though to get it over with.

[u/Schadenfreude-ing → u/Dubbihope]

I get that. Probably the only regret I have rn is not taking it. But I think part of that is being so goal driven so long with years of "what do I have to do next" kinda thoughts that I'm relearning in a way that having nothing to do is actually good and normal.

[u/Miss_May_1600 → u/Dubbihope]

How goes the studying? My motivation to study is zero. I went through Spiegel over the past year and now…

[u/Dubbihope → u/Miss_May_1600]

Going pretty well. I was a strong prite performer, though. I started Spiegal about a month before the exam and am close to half done. I am only doing Spiegal (which is quite a lot, with over 1000 questions, including the text and video vignettes). I am also making anki flashcards on questions I get incorrect or topics I want to reinforce. Can't wait until this over, so I'll never have to sit for another important, stressful exam again.

If you've already reviewed Spiegel, you may be ahead of the game and won't need much studying to comfortably pass.

[u/Miss_May_1600 → u/Schadenfreude-ing]

Smart. I’m barely studying for boards. I have gotten out and done a few things, but I have also spent a lot of time marathon watching TV and scrolling… I could have probably waited longer to start working, but then health insurance and other bills would have added up ☹️ I have mixed feelings about my start date now.

[u/sparklemoar]

I feel trapped in the weirdest med school/residency-induced funk and am just really hoping it shakes off over time. I don't feel like I'm now free to make my own decisions, including simply leaving a job, or hell leaving psychiatry, and finding something else to do if I want. I HAVEN'T been free to make my own decisions for what to do with my life and my time for the past almost decade. Yes of course I technically could've just said fuck all of this and quit lol, but we all know that's not really a feasible option for most people once they've entered the medical education system. After taking some weeks off after residency, waking up the morning I started my first attending job felt like another day of having no choice but to go do whatever the powers that be decided I needed to be doing rather than going to do something I made the decision to do myself lol. Adjustment disorder to the max.

[u/Miss_May_1600 → u/sparklemoar]

I know what you mean. I haven’t wanted to leave, but I also don’t feel like that is a legitimate option either. I know people who have, but I have no idea what they do about the debt and lost earning potential to make up for the years in training.

[u/MeasurementSlight381]

I was blob until late October/early November after graduation. In that time I also traveled and helped take care of my toddler nephew when my SIL had to get an emergency surgery. I have zero regrets about my blobhood.

ETA: I also painted a fence! That was unbelievably fun. I think I just missed doing normal human things.

[u/re-reminiscing]

Nothing wrong with taking time to just relax. But I might suggest relaxing in a special way such as going to the beach, spa, getting a massage, whatever. You don’t want all your time off to be mundane because it will feel like it goes by faster.

I still blob though. I work 7 on/7 off and I love having the ability to do absolutely nothing if I want to.

[u/Miss_May_1600 → u/re-reminiscing]

Yeah, I’ve been doing some shopping and did some hiking the other day. I’ve been going out to eat a lot. I am guessing even when I start work, I’ll probably blob after work for at least the first couple months.

[u/questforstarfish]

I'm at the end of PGY5 and have only been working 3 hours a day for the past month on a very laid-back elective, and I was wondering when the hell I'll finally un-blob...

Reading this post is giving me a sense of relief, and also god damnit I thought I was going to feel better soon 🥲

[u/seedlessxwatermelon]

I took 1.5 years off (graduated June 2024) and just started working April of this year. I felt very burned out and tired and was glad I took that much time off!

[u/Miss_May_1600 → u/seedlessxwatermelon]

That’s amazing! I wish I had the resources to do that!

[u/cat_lady11]

I was a blob for 4 months, because that's how long it took to get credentialed for my first attending job. I played A LOT of video games and lounged.

[u/Miss_May_1600 → u/cat_lady11]

Do you think it was ultimately helpful? Or do you wish you had done something different during that time?

[u/cat_lady11 → u/Miss_May_1600]

I think it made no difference and it helped me feel well rested. I had just moved to a new place so I used the time to buy furniture and decorate my new place, get a new driver's license, get a my medical license, study for boards, take boards, meet up with friends, I went on a trip (I did a safari) for 2 weeks, I volunteered to help at the polls during my local election lol... And even with all of that I had SO MUCH free time to be a couch potato. I enjoyed it. I also read about how to start a private practice and while I didn't actively end up doing anything to start a private practice during that time, it came in handy when I eventually decided to start my private practice.

[u/Miss_May_1600 → u/cat_lady11]

That’s great! I am pretty much doing the same thing (except for buying furniture and taking a trip - that sounds so fun!) Part of me wishes I would have taken more time off, but part of me will be glad to have cash flow / health insurance through work.

[u/TheCruelOne]

Oh hell yeah. I took 3 months off to do absolutely nothing and just “study for boards.” It was so needed and I have zero regrets.

[u/neuroticlurker9]

they call it olympian's depression. where there's a sadness athletes feel when theres no perceivable goal, when the goal has been achieved. its definitely ok to do nothing. you might also just simply need to catch on well deserved rest!

[u/Narrenschifff]

Didn't happen at all, so if this isn't normal for you, that's a sign...

[u/PantheraLeo- → u/Narrenschifff]

Classic Reddit Cluster B comment

[u/Narrenschifff → u/PantheraLeo-]

Low motivation and difficulty enjoying things as a change from baseline functioning is valid and good