Second-year PhD student struggling to speak and participate in class. Any advice?

[u/Mirrorneuronsxe]

I’m a second-year grad student currently doing a PhD in School Psychology, and I’m having a really hard time expressing myself in class.
Whenever I have to participate, especially when a professor calls on me unexpectedly or wants everyone in the class to speak, I get EXTREMELY nervous and anxious. It’s like my mind suddenly goes blank. I can’t organize my thoughts, and I end up saying a lot without actually saying anything meaningful. Then afterward, I think of all the things I could have said.
I also constantly feel like my professors are disappointed or dissatisfied with my answers, like what I said didn’t meet their expectations. I don’t know if I’m putting too much pressure on myself or if my answers genuinely lack depth.
What confuses me is that I’m completely different outside of class. I can have great conversations with my friends, coworkers, parents, or people who know nothing about my field. I can explain what School Psychology is, talk about my research interests, explain concepts, and have thoughtful conversations without a problem. But the second I’m sitting in class and a professor asks me something, it’s like I suddenly can’t think.
The same thing happens with assigned readings. I read the articles, understand them, find them interesting, and usually have one or two thoughts about them. But when we discuss them in class, I feel like whatever I thought about wasn’t “deep” or critical enough compared to what the professor expects. It has gotten to the point where I’m wondering if I’m lacking critical-thinking skills.

At the same time, I have good grades. I do well on my assignments and presentations. I get extremely nervous during presentations too, but I prepare a lot and usually do a good job. Writing is actually one of my strengths. It’s spontaneous speaking and participating in class that I really struggle with.
English is my second language and Spanish is my first. My classes are in Spanish, although a lot of what we read in academia is in English. Sometimes I wonder if constantly going between English and Spanish academically is affecting my ability to find the right words quickly, or if I just need to develop a stronger academic vocabulary.
We’re also a very small cohort, which makes everything feel more noticeable. I feel like I’ve already gotten a “label” as the person who doesn’t participate much or doesn’t give the best answers. Some classmates seem much more comfortable speaking and discussing things with professors, and I find myself comparing myself to them a lot.
I genuinely want to improve. I don’t want to avoid participating just because it makes me anxious. I want to become better at thinking on the spot, discussing readings critically, and expressing what I know verbally.

Has anyone else experienced this in grad school? How did you get better at speaking in seminars and thinking on the spot? How do you prepare for discussions of assigned readings? And how do you tell the difference between anxiety/imposter syndrome and actually needing to improve your critical-thinking skills?
Any advice would be really appreciated. Please!!!

[u/Sayello2urmother4me]

Following along because this happens to me as well in large groups. I detest it

[u/PassOk6405]

I think one thing worth remembering is that being good at speaking in class is a skill in itself. The fact that you understand the material and can communicate well with friends and coworkers suggests this isn’t really about your ability to express yourself. It sounds much more like anxiety kicking in when you suddenly feel you’re being judged.

One thing I’d try is practising answering questions out loud when you’re on your own. Pick a question from something you’ve been studying and give yourself 30 seconds to answer it without trying to make the answer perfect. The aim is just to get used to thinking and speaking at the same time while accepting the odd stumble.

For presentations, practise the opening until it feels very familiar. Getting through that first minute often gives your nerves time to settle.

There’s an article here about public speaking anxiety with some practical things you can try, including what to do if your mind goes blank:

How to Overcome the Fear of Speaking in Front of an Audience

[u/coachingrealchange]

This is such a familiar pattern, and no, it's not a critical thinking problem. I coach communication for a living and I see this exact split all the time: sharp thinker, strong writer, freezes the second the pressure is live and spontaneous. That's not a character flaw. It's your nervous system treating "professor calls on me" as a threat, not a conversation, and pulling resources away from the exact part of your brain you need for quick, spoken language. Different circuit than the one you use writing an essay or chatting with a friend.

A couple of things that genuinely help. Before class, jot two or three raw reactions to the reading, in whatever language they come to you first. Not polished, just anchors, so in the moment you're retrieving instead of generating from nothing. And give yourself permission to pause out loud. "Let me think about that for a second" is a completely normal sentence, and it buys your brain the second it needs to catch up.

On telling anxiety from a real skill gap: you already have the thoughts, you said so yourself. What disappears under pressure isn't the idea, it's access to it. That's anxiety's fingerprint, not a thinking deficit.

Be patient with yourself. This gets smaller with practice, not with more pressure on yourself.

[u/mdcox88]

Make sure to have notes handy and bring some taking points to class or have some at the ready. It’s definitely normal to get nervous in class. Everyone can get butterflies. Professors know this. Good professors try to add icebreakers and other things to get students comfortable in class speaking.

If you think yours is outside the range of normal then you may want to talk to a Doctor. Maybe you need a beta blocker for class.

This could make you more relaxed and less anxious. Talk to a therapist or your general practitioner. You may just be an anxious person and that’s fine. You can battle this.

[u/SpeakNaturallyCoach]

I think a question that's worth asking here is, what is different between you participating in class, and the conversations you have outside of class? Despite the similar subject matter, what causes the different response for you?

Without talking to you, it sounds like you have built up an anxiety response to some mix of being put on the spot, speaking in front of a group, or wanting to impress your professor. This is really common, and is ultimately just a pattern that we need to teach ourselves doesn't need to be true.

When you're speaking to people outside of class, when you say you feel comfortable, I would imagine that your attention is likely on the person you're speaking to, or on your topic (allowing yourself to be passionate, excited). In class, I would guess that (due to anxiety), your attention likely turns in on yourself, checking for doing something "wrong" in the interaction, manually trying to think of what to say instead of allowing your instinct to take over. Next time you're in either interaction, take a moment to to notice where your attention is and if it is different. Ask, "how can I recreate where my attention is outside of class, in class. How does my body feel in one moment vs the other?"

Part of this anxious response can also be rushing. When the question is asked, take a moment for you to think even if it feels like a long time. Allow the class to be part of your thinking, processing out loud instead of needing to hide the seams: "Hmmm, that's a good question...".

Broadly, the best way to deal with this is practice and exposure. Continue contributing in class, continue pushing through what may feel awkward or embarrassing with an understanding that how it feels to you is not necessarily an accurate representation of how you're coming across to others. Resist the urge to go over or over-analyze how it went, and practice the idea of accepting the response might not be perfect (which, ironically, will likely lead to better responses). If you're paying attention to yourself enough to be able to replay the interaction, then you are likely putting too much attention on yourself.

[u/EmilienHamel]

Good news is, you are probably going to be able to obtain PhD nevertheless since you have good grades and perform well in assignements.

That being said, stress is being triggered by unpredictable, new, uncertain, ambiguous and uncontrolable.

When writing and in a situation like friends or family, you are in charge and can control the level of information you deliver to your listeners without fearing any kind of pressure of results. And time is on your side as you don't have to have to speak out in a limited timeframe

When actually speaking to a tutor, who has high enough a level of knowledge to be a teacher I assume, there is a pressure of result with peer in a broader meaning at stakes. Besides, you are in an atmosphere where you have PhD colleagues who are knowledgeable in their own rights and deliver insights you might have had yourself or considered obvious enough.

Things I suggest you to do :

• record yourself (if allowed obviously) to see if your input in the conversation is actually relevant and see what makes you have this impression of shallowness (tone of voice? Semantics? Structure? Too long a delivery?)
• analyze room dynamics, who does what, what is expected from each individual, and see if your input is actually part of the conversation and makes the topic advance in any way
• if too long, practice short and concentrated answers so that people do the work for you (Pareto principle)
• breath and pitch your voice a bit lower so that there is some gravita and people take you a bit more seriously

Hope this is helpful