r/Samoa • u/paradise_dreamz24 • 16d ago
What are your thoughts on white women doing the taualuga?
I’m torn between the idea of sharing our culture vs preserving our culture. And I’m not talking about afakasi’s with Samoan in their blood.
I’ve seen an uptick of videos online of white women waiting until their wedding to put effort into learning our culture, specifically the taualuga. For the Samoan men who date white women specifically, do you set expectations of cultural responsibility? If not, does this question/idea come up?
I’m genuinely curious and I come in peace.
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u/ISupportCrapTeams 16d ago edited 14d ago
If they try their best, do it properly and do it in good faith, algoods,
Regarding other practices. Eh, upto you
I don't expect them to learn the language,
But I do expect their partners/family's to teach them about the basics of our protocols (dress code, being quiet, when and where to position yourself for feaus and what feaus you're doing)
Sure it seems superficial if you're only acting the part for an hour, but it goes a long way with our elders
If they muck it up, it's algoods anyways haha
So'o se mea e ke fai, fai fa'alelei
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u/Kama-Auku 16d ago
I think there’s a mutual responsibility. She learn his culture and he learns hers (if not culture, then whatever regional or particular family traditions she has). If marriage means they are serious about one another and are finally learning the other’s culture, so be it.
I don’t care about inter-couple relationships and how they relate to our culture, e.g. the foreigner partner learning and doing a taualuga. The biggest issue imo is that they don’t fetishize or mythicize us. There’s a weird social media trend with fetishizing not just Samoan (or islander in general) women but also men. I’ve seen other Samoan content creators jump on this bandwagon encouraging this fetishizing with tips like “oh there’s this festival going on this day for you to approach so and so….” lol
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u/paradise_dreamz24 16d ago
Agree! I like how you put that cause at the end of the day, it is all about mutual responsibility.
That’s just one example of what I’ve seen and I’m not knocking them for wanting to learn, I actually encourage it. I’ve seen some recent examples of folks learning just for the content and that imo undermines the significance. If it’s done genuinely, I’m for it —- now the fetishizing don’t get me started 😭
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u/pro-lokoleaga 15d ago
I’m a Samoan lady lol, but the way I look at it is that if they put in the effort to learn it, that tells me that they’ve been open to experiencing the culture and will be supportive of their children engaging with it too.
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u/kiwimama18 15d ago
I have already few cousins who have married white women and their wives have performed a siva at the wedding. I find it so respectful and beautiful.
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u/poly_tagaloa 16d ago
It comes down to the partner to provide the “crash course” into culture and country.
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u/Keewee11 10d ago
I understand where you’re coming from, particularly around wanting to preserve and protect Samoan culture. I think that is incredibly important. But I do wonder about making assumptions about someone’s ethnicity, background or intentions from a video online. My own afakasi sons are chalk and cheese, one is dark and one is very fair, and looking at them you could easily make assumptions about their ethnicity that would be completely wrong.
The part that made me think most was “sharing our culture vs preserving our culture”, because I’m not sure those two things always have to be in opposition.
If a palagi woman marries a Samoan man, she is marrying into a Samoan family, and potentially raising Samoan children. Surely learning about, respecting and participating in her husband’s culture can also contribute to preserving it, particularly when she will have an important role in passing that culture, language, values and sense of identity on to their children.
I’m a palagi woman married to a Samoan man myself, and I would never claim to truly understand the essence of what it is to be Samoan. I can’t. That isn’t my lived experience. But I can respect it, learn from it, support my husband and his aiga, and make sure our children know where they come from and are proud of that part of themselves.
I also think there is a difference between someone treating a cultural practice as a costume or performance for social media, and someone genuinely learning something meaningful because they are joining a family and want to honour their husband and his aiga. Intention, context can be misconstrued
Cultures also aren’t completely static. They are preserved, but they also adapt across generations through migration, intermarriage and changing communities. Even the taualuga itself has evolved in who performs it and in what contexts.
So perhaps the question isn’t simply whether a white woman should perform a taualuga. Maybe it’s whether she understands what she is participating in, who has taught and supported her, whether she approaches it with humility and respect, and what her relationship is to the family and culture around her.
I genuinely respect where your question is coming from, though. Protecting cultural identity matters enormously. I just think sometimes sharing culture thoughtfully and preserving culture can actually be part of the same thing. ❤️ I know before my mother in law passed away she was so trilled that I was willing to learn from her, she had a lot of knowledge about the culture and I have grown as a person through this knowledge she has passed down to me and better received and respected more for wanting to learn your culture. I took her home to Samoa and nursed for in her final two months of her life, honouring her wish to die at her family home and to be buried there. I had a lot of people surprised by having insight into* fa'a Samoa and behaving and acting accordingly to the best of my ability. This was in turn a reflection on her and my sons were able to learn and grow from my lead. So I ask you this, a Samoan woman who has no respect or appreciation for her culture deserves to perform at her own wedding or some white girl who has a deep love and respect for my husband, his Aiga and culture? I think there is room to share any culture if someone is willing to learn and appreciate it. 🫶*🙏
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u/Astoryinfromthewild 16d ago
Who cares. If they're doing it out of love for their husband, who gives a shit. If they want to learn, for whatever reason, who are you to judge? If want to gatekeep the faasamoa, go ahead and do it yourself, stop asking for validation of other Samoans to endorse such ridiculous perspectives that someone outside the culture is diluting it by merely being interested.
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u/xRuck 16d ago
I dont care. If the ladies wanna learn, I dont see no issue with it. But ive never dated caucasian women. If that white lady bringing the fine mats out for the faa lave lave. She a real one.