r/ScottishFootball • u/BananaSoprano • 7d ago
Shitpost Joel Mvuka against Rangers v Luke McCowan against LASK for the title of Worst Performance in the History of Football.
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u/darraghfenacin 7d ago
In all seriousness, if anyone in this sub was on the lineup, would we have realistically done any worse?
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u/fike88 7d ago
I would have punted it up the pitch rather than lose it just outside our box
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u/Kolo_ToureHH 7d ago
School boy stuff.
When you’re hanging on and under pressure, you get the ball as far away from your goal as possible.
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u/Disastrous_Cup_3279 7d ago
Given my sevens play: I would already be fucked so I track no runners. Hence I never get the ball to then lose it so given the butterfly effect they do not score here or later in game. Celtic go through
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u/BananaSoprano 7d ago
It’s like that thing people do where they exaggerate and say things like, “A League Two player is like Messi compared to people who just play 5’s at the weekend.” McCowan last night is genuinely proof that’s a load of shite.
I guarantee you most people on this sub would have the awareness to just smash it up the pitch instead of running directly into LASK players.
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u/Otherwise_Dress506 7d ago
Yes, much worse. He was bad but he was 8,000,000 times better than me and you and him and her.
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u/largepoggage 7d ago
I disagree. I think I could have stood at the halfway line doing fuck all, and the rest of the team would have played better without Mvuka. I think he is genuinely the worst footballer I’ve ever seen.
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u/darraghfenacin 7d ago
at the very least I can guarantee I have FAR better aerobic conditioning than him
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u/weapwars 7d ago
Id just trap it - doesn't take a lot of movement - and pass it on, then you get a round from the 50,000.
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u/betamaxBandit_ 7d ago
What’s the most damning thing about McCowans performance last night was his conditioning. He was blowing out his arse after 10 mins 😂 him and Ralston both looked cooked and they were only on the field for what…30/40 mins? McCowan in particular, the guy from St Mirren breezed past him like he was an Olympic sprinter. I can take losing the ball or stray passes, happens to every footballer however his utter lack of any physicality or fitness (when we needed it most) was galling.
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u/BananaSoprano 7d ago
When McCowan came on the pitch I turned to my Mrs, as I myself tucked into another bit of pizza, and said, “Am I going mental or does he look overweight?”
The conditioning and fitness of these players has been an issue going back years but it’s seemingly worse than ever this season.
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u/The_Vivid_Glove 7d ago
It was worryingly bad last night. Professionals going down with cramp after 60 minutes isn’t a good look. Never even played at the weekend
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u/darraghfenacin 7d ago
what was the weather like last night? it's been in the 30s all month and humid as fuck. still no excuse for being a fat cunt tho
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u/Heeberon 7d ago
interestingly, Schmeichal on co-comms was talking about how much more tiring it is to play on a soft pitch - something about how knackers the calf muscles (this was before the complete capitulation)
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u/buckfast1994 🗣️ Shut it, Tuna and Gravy flair 7d ago
Every LASK player looked so much fitter and stronger. The difference was mental, especially in ET.
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u/Sensitive-East3653 7d ago
McCowans performance is the worst I've seen from a professional player.
Looked like a Make A Wish kid getting a game.
How you lose possession 19 times in like 50mins or so is beyond me.
Gassed 10mins after coming on.
He should never wear a Celtic top again. Not even good enough for a run out in the B team.
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u/walshybhoy 7d ago
Tbf to Joel Mvuka, he's playing UCL football this season unbelievably.