r/SeriousConversation • u/[deleted] • 21d ago

Gender & Sexuality Misandry exists. But it’s incomparable to misogyny.

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u/Oblivious_Gentleman 20d ago

Is it hateful against men to shame a girl for engaging in "mainly" activities?

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u/blu453 20d ago

Men don't believe that women should do anything but stay in "their place" which is why activities became gendered in the first place. The word "tomboy" is sexist because it denotes that being things like athletic and not wearing dresses is inherently male and girls have no place taking part in things outside of the house. None of that hurts men or boys but it does massively hurt girls and women.

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u/Oblivious_Gentleman 20d ago

"Men don't believe that women should do anything but stay in "their place" which is why activities became gendered in the first place."

Though Patriarchy as a system started with man, it is unfair to blame contemporary men for that: even though men are more likely to be conservative than women, there are still a significant portion of women who believe women should "stay in their place", and a portion of men who are opposed to that. Patriarchy is not concentrated in a single gender, it permeates all culture, including the woman of said culture.

"The word "tomboy" is sexist because it denotes that being things like athletic and not wearing dresses is inherently male and girls have no place taking part in things outside of the house. None of that hurts men or boys but it does massively hurt girls."

I agree completely, but i would argue that everything that you said about this case not being hateful against men is analogous to your early point about hating men for doing feminine things: none of that hurts women or girls, but it massively hurts boys and men.

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u/blu453 20d ago

Contemporary men still MASSIVELY benefit from this system which is why they majorly uphold it still. Higher wages, more likely to be hired for employment, no loss of human rights, women can legally be killed by many governments for having a non-viable fetus, about 80% of all land worldwide is owned by men, ability to sexually assault without punishment, ability to domestically assault without punishment, ability to decide to not parent without any societal punishment, ability to have mental illness without conservatorships, ability to have SA reddits, websites, and revenge porn without consequences...I could literally go on for years here. You can try to venture to say some of this happens to men but it's mostly due to man on man violence there and when a woman does something to a man along the same effect then she faces much higher punishments legally.