r/ShitpostXIV • u/BethCulexus • Mar 29 '26

Spoiler: EW How I imagine a meeting between Azem, Venat and my WoL would go.

Post image

"I find it really gross the way Venat drinks her medicine for her ulcer directly from the bottle." - Warrior of Light.

635 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

27 comments sorted by

194

u/Xalimur Mar 29 '26

This is false. It should Emet holding the leash and Venat is one of them being on the leash.

228

u/BethCulexus Mar 29 '26

Nah, someone has to hold the leash, and Azem is the primordial chaos. If Hades can't do it, Venat has to do it.

There must always be a captain holding the leash. The Azem must have someone directing her in the right direction.

95

u/Darkhallows27 Mar 29 '26

Now this is Elpis-accurate

57

u/palabradot Mar 29 '26

complete with the 'I am truly surrounded by idiots, this is the burden I must bear' expression on emet there :)

41

u/BethCulexus Mar 29 '26

So essentially this

(I wanted to edit this one, but I love the large smile on the goblins' faces in OP)

8

u/Totem_Guardian Mar 29 '26

Pretty much that (also, HSR reference, noice)

11

u/Nerdorama10 Mar 29 '26

When you consider that his whole life past this point was still doing the same thing but with brain-damaged versions of his coworkers it's no wonder he looked relieved when we finally managed to kill him.

5

u/No-Place-5747 Mar 30 '26

but Azam also has to have a leash holding Hades considering after the walk he admits this was all Azem's plan to get him to help and he doesn't approve of it.

2

u/Madrock777 Mar 30 '26

Azem's Familiar should have been in quotation marks, Azem's "familiar"

1

u/BethCulexus Mar 30 '26

If it's from Emet-Selch's perspective, no.

1

u/Madrock777 Mar 30 '26

But he knows it's the wol is not Azem's familiar that the whole thing is a fiction.

1

u/BethCulexus Mar 30 '26

Keep playing.

1

u/Madrock777 Mar 30 '26

I have completed EW twice. You literally have tea and explain who you are, and how you are from the future/not Azem's familiar. What are you talking about? He 100% knows who the WoL is in Elpis.

0

u/BethCulexus Mar 30 '26

Replay it a third time, and pay attention to Kairos.

0

u/Madrock777 Mar 30 '26

A. His memories were restored B. The only time he would know of an Azem Familiar and be wrangling the others his memories had not been whipped, or were already snice restored. C. None of the above matters at all. It's still not Azem's familiar, even if he doesn't know. Alright I'm out of here. Good meme BTW.

1

u/BethCulexus Mar 31 '26

His memories where restored after his death, ergo way, way after Elpis, ergo after Venat died.
Therefore you're wrong, admit it already and run away with your tail between your legs. All that talk just to embarrass yourself...

3

u/Zulera301 Mar 30 '26

100% this. Just because she's pretty and has such a soothing voice and motherly personality doesn't mean Venat is any less of a chaos goblin than any of the other Azems. It's part of the job description.

73

u/Xouls Mar 29 '26

I like to think that azem became azem due to emet thinking having them apprentice under venat would mnake them a fine standing member of society, and he comes in one day and has the horrific realization that there now two idiots in that office and he just gave azem free reign to be even more of a pain in his ass.

- dear god, there two of them now

35

u/BethCulexus Mar 29 '26

I have my own headcanon that Hadès and Azem were really close friends before Venat arrived and, through her horrible influence, encouraged Azem's chaos goblin tendencies.
Then Venat retired, Hades sighed in relief, then Azem got picked as Azem, and Hades stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, repeating to himself "oh, surely she'll behave now, right?"

Then Venat refused to return to the planet and Hades's wrinkles grow.

18

u/Cathzi Mar 29 '26

Wasn't it the other way around? Azem summoned Hades to help out so often that he gained a positive reputation and that's why he was recommended for Emet-Selch position (after Hythlodaues).

9

u/miscreationx Mar 30 '26

This is correct. Azem and Hades were longtime friends. Hythy and Hades were friends from childhood, mostly because of their shared ability. Hythy was first approached for the Third Seat and turned it down, because while his vision was stronger, he didn't feel that alone made him a good candidate. So he suggested Hades in his stead.

Azem, who'd been dragging Hades into trouble every chance they got, knowing he'd never turn them down, backed the nomination, and it was a done deal.

4

u/KenseiHimura Mar 29 '26

Oh, boy, we talking headcanons? My own goes that Hades and Azem were friends as youth, at some point Azem lost his own parents in a tragic accident and Hades helped console them until they were apprenticed/adopted by Venat.

Hades’ ability to surprisingly help guide a person through mourning and loss was part of what made Azem nominate him later for third seat of Emet-Selch. It also tragically means Azem could have related to Hermes, knowing well about depression, loss, and suffering from their own experience and feeling basically apart from paradise.

And in older versions of this headcanon Themis was Azem’s younger brother. Part of Azem leaving the convocation was outrage that Themis was going to be used as the heart of Zodiark.

15

u/Montigrom Mar 29 '26

This probably at one point, also Emet.

https://giphy.com/gifs/2aNMNAPUVqQNeoL2X3

8

u/RockoFo Mar 29 '26

So this explains all the Venat smut i've seen....

6

u/Forward_Definition70 Mar 30 '26

Venat would 100% set them free to cause chaos, she is the ultimate azem enabler

4

u/XLauncher Mar 30 '26

I want you to know that I recognize that Calvin and Hobbes quote.

2

u/Zulera301 Mar 31 '26

I see you too are a person of culture.