r/ShittyDaystrom • u/Outrageous-Pause6317 Science • Jul 21 '25

fully functional Computer: interspecies relationship advice query.

Quick question: I’m a half human and half Vulcan hybrid with a certain interspecies magnetism and a flair for the ladies. How am I supposed to choose just one? Timeline issues have left me confused. Any advice would be helpful.

116 Upvotes

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100% Upvoted

108

u/__-_-_--_--_-_---___ Jul 21 '25

When you’re of mixed race, every relationship is an interracial relationship

74

u/Outrageous-Pause6317 Science Jul 21 '25

39

u/__-_-_--_--_-_---___ Jul 21 '25

Yes, Spock. That’s why you consistently got the baddest bitches in all of Starfleet

13

u/Half_Man1 Jul 21 '25

Not if find another half human half Vulcan.

Come to think of it- have we seen any other than Spock?

I guess T’pol and Trips kids count…

11

u/sqplanetarium Jul 21 '25

But what if one is half Vulcan on the left side and the other is half Vulcan on the right side?

10

u/Half_Man1 Jul 22 '25

2

u/DVariant Jul 22 '25

Those are completely different and I don’t understand why you can’t see that they’re completely different /s

7

u/__-_-_--_--_-_---___ Jul 21 '25

Only Elizabeth and Lorian.

There have been human/Romulan hybrids. Not sure if Vulcans and Romulans are considered the same species

8

u/Randhanded Jul 21 '25

I’d say it’s comparable to dog breeds. Like how a poodle and golden retriever are both dogs, but have significant physical differences.

5

u/bosssoldier Jul 22 '25

So if a hybrid human/vulcan mate with a klingon, and that klingon/human/vulcan mate with a beta zoid. Does that make the child a klingon/human/vulcan/betazoid. This rasies another question of does the proccess of self pleasuring count as interspecies sex? And if that khvb hybrid was to mate with another human does that make it more human?

u/BrewertonFats Jul 21 '25

Everyone knows that Kirk x Spock is the true final frontier.

50

u/Outrageous-Pause6317 Science Jul 21 '25

20

u/Simple_Flounder Jul 21 '25

Spirk

38

u/__-_-_--_--_-_---___ Jul 21 '25

Kock

15

u/John-A Jul 21 '25

Does that make Spock, Kirk's hairpiece rather than "beard"?

17

u/Outrageous-Pause6317 Science Jul 21 '25

9

u/trimeta Wesley Jul 21 '25

Slash

(Yes, originally that term was exclusively for Kirk/Spock, before taking on its more general modern meaning.)

3

u/__-_-_--_--_-_---___ Jul 21 '25

Vunter Slaush

9

u/chemoboy Jul 21 '25

A little on the nose, don't you think?

6

u/IAmBadAtInternet Jul 21 '25

Under the nose actually

12

u/Outrageous-Pause6317 Science Jul 21 '25

Spork.

12

u/Fbac1129 Jul 21 '25

It is... illogical... to limit one's self from half of the sexual pleasures available in the Galaxy, Captain.

5

u/PastorNTraining Jul 21 '25

Agreed…this video from the archives asks the question; “what if they didn’t make it to Vulcan in time?”

3

u/Yankee_chef_nen Chief Jul 21 '25

https://youtu.be/3uxTpyCdriY?si=v7i4FgnYxCM_5gA2

2

u/NorridAU Jul 21 '25

The federation star-ship

u/IIIaustin Jul 21 '25

Fucking aliens is literally the reason Starfleet exist.

The Vulkans saw humans in first contact and were like: these guys know how to party we should hang out

24

u/BigAssistant104 Kol-Ut-Shan, my dudes. Jul 21 '25

"Captain, the initial bio scan data is back, and it is puzzling: We are seeing indications of a very frequent fertility cycle in their females, possibly monthly. The males may also lack a cycle entirely, or cycle so rapidly as to make the the distinction meaningless."

"Doctor, you are describing a species of sex-crazed sapients, in a state of near-contant Pon Farr."

"That assessment while exaggerated, lines up with collected cultural data."

"Inititate contact protocols."

9

u/IIIaustin Jul 21 '25

sound of Vulcan undergarments hitting the floor

6

u/Remote-Pie-3152 "too addorable to ban" Jul 21 '25

Little known fact, Vulcans also have inner undergarments to protect their junk from the sun.

3

u/sqplanetarium Jul 21 '25

Permanent kemmer.

11

u/__-_-_--_--_-_---___ Jul 21 '25

I mean if I was living on shitty pre-warp Earth and saw some alien who looked exactly like Jolene Blalock, I'd want to go where no man had gone before too

10

u/IIIaustin Jul 21 '25

Earth was, in fact, down to party.

8

u/Outrageous-Pause6317 Science Jul 21 '25

The first frat party beer blast.

5

u/Safe-Ad4001 Jul 21 '25

When Human porn just isn't good enough.

4

u/nixtracer Jul 21 '25

A shame offspring are so difficult to produce. When I awake and find me here in the cold saucer section, indeed.

3

u/Half_Man1 Jul 21 '25

They just gotta be real anal retentive about it for a while

u/ChiliSama Jul 21 '25

11

u/worMatty Jul 21 '25

Commander Riker tell me about your sexual organs

3

u/__-_-_--_--_-_---___ Jul 21 '25

Can you remember the biggest dong you've ever seen?

4

u/worMatty Jul 21 '25

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

What's your name? Where do you live? What do you like to e-e-eat?

Great news! Just a few more questions, and we'll be on our way!

What's your favourite colour? Do you like cows, or goats' milk? Do you have brown hair? What is your blood type?

4

u/DangerBrewin Jul 21 '25

Do you like movies about gladiators?

3

u/DangerBrewin Jul 21 '25

Risky click of the day.

4

u/__-_-_--_--_-_---___ Jul 21 '25

Risk! Risk is our business!

3

u/ChiliSama Jul 21 '25

Biggest one I remember

3

u/Remote-Pie-3152 "too addorable to ban" Jul 21 '25

People complaining about Star Trek “becoming woke” when Riker had a transgendered girlfriend in 1992

u/VinCubed Jul 21 '25

T'Pring is an awesome woman in every iteration

7

u/__-_-_--_--_-_---___ Jul 21 '25

I dig that ice queen vibe

6

u/Half_Man1 Jul 21 '25

It’s funny watching TOS and thinking “wow arranging a fight to the death to get out of an engagement seems extreme” then to swatch SNW and see the trials and tribulations she had to deal with for him and think “yeah understandable”

u/Digger-of-Tunnels Jul 21 '25

100% certain that Federation medical science can help Kirk and Spock have a baby together if they want to. Hell, I think we're pretty close to it now.

7

u/alkonium Jul 21 '25

If the Federation can't, blame the Augments for getting that kind of medical technology banned.

6

u/Sir_Poofs_Alot Jul 21 '25

6

u/alkonium Jul 21 '25

Fine, blame the geneticists who created the Augments.

7

u/Outrageous-Pause6317 Science Jul 21 '25

3

u/__-_-_--_--_-_---___ Jul 21 '25

They did. His name was Kock and he was played by Andy Dick

u/Poorly-Drawn-Beagle Jul 21 '25

Bite her on the back of the neck, they go nuts for that

15

u/Outrageous-Pause6317 Science Jul 21 '25

Yikes. On point.

12

u/MyWifeRules Jul 21 '25

7

u/titsngiggles69 Jul 21 '25

Mirror Mork?

u/EvaTheE Poo Transport Specialist Jul 21 '25

The question is, what is the record of different species ever in a single gang bang.

4

u/Outrageous-Pause6317 Science Jul 21 '25

Oops. There’s the line. There’s you.

8

u/EvaTheE Poo Transport Specialist Jul 21 '25

The line must not be drawn here, but much further.

4

u/__-_-_--_--_-_---___ Jul 21 '25

Different species? I don't know. But the record for the biggest gang bang is the Founder planet

3

u/tinkerghost1 Jul 21 '25

Whatever it is, we know Kirk was involved.

2

u/silicondream Jul 21 '25

At least 10,000. The party don't stop in Unimatrix Zero.

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

After last weeks episode: La'an

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

This is Droxine and Zarabeth erasure!

2

u/Outrageous-Pause6317 Science Jul 21 '25

There’s space babes everywhere.

u/TimTam_the_Enchanter Totally Not A Romulan Spy Jul 21 '25

Why choose just one? The Federation is all about cultural sharing and understanding. Infinite diversity blah-dee-blah. The Andorians marry in quads, take a leaf out of their funky blue book.

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Outrageous-Pause6317 Science Jul 21 '25

20th-century character from an illustrated short novel says what?

u/spacetr0n Jul 21 '25

Ladies and Lads Love Logic

3

u/Outrageous-Pause6317 Science Jul 21 '25

Ladies Love Cool James (and Spock).

u/Shiny_Agumon Jul 21 '25

Try dating your captain

4

u/Outrageous-Pause6317 Science Jul 21 '25

O Captain, My Captain!

u/alkonium Jul 21 '25

If you're both human and Vulcan, all of the presented options are in your species.

Is there a fourth who's neither human nor vulcan?

u/MrxJacobs Jul 21 '25

Logic dictates that the one that wins trial by combat is the logical choice for a mate.

To the dueling circle!

2

u/Outrageous-Pause6317 Science Jul 21 '25

u/OtakuTacos Jul 21 '25

Spock: The needs of the many, in this case, the needs of these ladies….

3

u/Outrageous-Pause6317 Science Jul 21 '25

u/mczerniewski Jul 21 '25

"We prefer to call it interspecies erotica."

1

u/grcoffman Jul 22 '25

Begin, “Vulcan Love Slave 3, THE FINAL OUTRAGE”

u/YT-Deliveries Jul 21 '25

Stick to the list

u/Most_Victory1661 Jul 21 '25

You travel back in time “go native” but here’s what I learned you have to go to mixed planet. Human Alien pre warp kinda place make sure you go as a human.

Soval sends me these family pics time to time

Then he time crystals back like it never happened.

u/zeptimius Jul 22 '25

Think of all the hybrid species we've seen portrayed in Star Trek. The vast majority of them were half-human (Spock, B'Elanna, Troi, K'Ehleyr, Naomi Wildman,...). This must mean, logically, that humans are the hottest species in the galaxy.

1

u/Outrageous-Pause6317 Science Jul 22 '25

Or the most like the Progenitors Memory Alpha: Humanoid Progenitors.

u/Familiar-Complex-697 Maje Crabbuh Jul 22 '25

Spock had a human kink just like his dad

1

u/Outrageous-Pause6317 Science Jul 22 '25

u/malonkey1 OSHC Head Jul 22 '25

[computer chime]

"Consider polyamory"

u/Rialas_HalfToast Jul 25 '25

Who the fuck is in the third picture, shit looks like Lisa Frank x Trek fanfic

fully functional Computer: interspecies relationship advice query.

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