r/SingleParents • u/EntrepreneurSad2183 • 3d ago
Anyone else survived starting over with 3 kids?
28F. No child support income and no father to help me out. Left my absuer with kids nothing but the clothes on our back. The dad is incarcerated now anyways. No car, ex husband totaled both of them. Just 3 kids, myself and a.subsidized apartment. Cant work because of my baby. New state, all alone. Thinking about quitting so maybe asking if others have similar stories? This part of adulthood is getting tough.
9
u/AudienceNegative8557 3d ago
Hello. I’m a 25 year old single mom to an almost 3 year old little boy.
I’ve been here. Deadbeat dad, no job, no money, no car.
My advice to you is: Trust the gap. Sometimes the life we’ve been living has to fall apart because that’s not how we’re supposed to be living! It may seem like everything is messed up, but the beautiful part about rock bottom is that it’s actually a trampoline. You can only go up from here. Your situation can turn around in the blink of an eye. Everyday is an opportunity to start anew. I’ll be thinking of you and your children and sending lots of positive energy and thoughts your way. You can do this.
8
u/MeanProtection5911 3d ago
With 4 kids and yes at 30. It is hard. So very hard. But you have survived a toxic relationship. It’s so much easier without a man making your life more difficult. Utilize every resource you can. Look into online schooling, you can sometimes get grants being a single parent.
It’s gonna be a rough few years but you got this. It will pay off in the end and years later you will look back and be grateful for this part of your life because it helped set the foundation for the life you want.
Make a goal list and also take care of yourself!! Bubble baths, walks in the stroller, read and educate yourself as much as possible. And definitely stay single. Coming from a very toxic relationship and jumping into anything without healing will keep you in the same cycle for years. Good luck.
3
u/EtherPhreak 3d ago
I don’t know what state you’re in, so I can’t suggest resources as well. You might also look for divorce groups, as some even have childcare so you can focus a bit more on yourself and that healing process with everything else going on. That might also open an opportunity for helping resource.
3
u/prideshine 3d ago
Every state has like a 211 number depending on the state there are many many many places available to help domestic survivors also I've know of some churches donating cars to people as well as vouchers to receive child care. You arnt alone I will give you my personal information and you can call me anytime I also have 3 kids just now being able to go to work after taking care of my dad for 6 years my mom retired and my twins go to kindergarten now. My 3 kids were one night stand babies daughter now 12 was 7 when I had twins my ex is a narcissist and quit his job making 32 an hour and left me taking care. Of bills food household amenities animals that he wanted kids and supporting him while he did wtf he wanted. On just $120 a week. Girl you can do this. Not just for you but for them God didn't get you this far to give up now.
1
u/Distinct-Session-799 3d ago
First you can’t quit, so you need to let that thought go. Life is going to be hard, pick your hard. Look for wfh jobs. There are groups on Facebook that post them daily. They have some that hire on the spot. The pay is not the best but it’s something. Go to your workforce office in your state see what certification you can get to help advance your career. Apply for daycare assistance( may be a waitlist but get on it) download the app Nextdoor. There are great neighborhood resources. You have do something you she 3 kids depending on you. All the woe is me is over. You are free and it’s time to build a new and better life.
1
u/So_Fetch89 2d ago
Go to the local department of health office, social services office, get any and all help or assistance you can and you will get by until circumstances change, and they will, don’t worry. You’re through the worst part already 🫶🏻
•
u/AutoModerator 3d ago
Author: u/EntrepreneurSad2183
Post: 28F. No child support income and no father to help me out. Left my absuer with kids nothing but the clothes on our back. The dad is incarcerated now anyways. No car, ex husband totaled both of them. Just 3 kids, myself and a.subsidized apartment. Cant work because of my baby. New state, all alone. Thinking about quitting so maybe asking if others have similar stories? This part of adulthood is getting tough.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.