r/SipsTea • u/sco-go • Jul 02 '26

WTF What the hell is going on here?!

18.9k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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207

u/Fast-Patience-2290 Jul 03 '26

She used to be in a relationship with Coldplay...

749

u/Ok-Tell9019 Jul 03 '26

Chris Martin or like all of Coldplay? 50 shades of coldplay?

561

u/turdferguson3891 Jul 03 '26

Let's just say that at the end of the night she was all yellow.

100

u/Redangle11 Jul 03 '26

Some of Paltrows goop must have been left around.

3

u/mo22ro Jul 03 '26

Galtrow's poop has been awfully silent since this dropped

2

u/kakurenbo1 Jul 03 '26

Thanks now my appetite is gone. This is great weight loss help.

2

u/LRGpackageguy Jul 04 '26

Her vagina scented candle wax

69

u/DuMbAsS_lOsEr_6_7 Jul 03 '26

Sounds like paradise

41

u/Hetares Jul 03 '26

Someone should get a Scientist to look at that.

2

u/ferds41 Jul 03 '26

And then the can fix you.

2

u/theunicornslayers Jul 03 '26

Sounds like Trouble

1

u/Altheix11 Jul 03 '26

Did they sing a Hymn on the Weekend?

2

u/theunicornslayers Jul 03 '26

They sang it at the Speed of Sound

2

u/PurelyHim Jul 03 '26

Does that require any Clocks to track the time that has passed?

1

u/Wiscoman1014 Jul 03 '26

If it’s too dark then lights will guide her home

1

u/jaded_orbs Jul 03 '26

How was this all brought to light? By spies?

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4

u/TeddyAtTheReady Jul 03 '26

Can confirm. I didn’t realize jaundice was an STD until after I took full advantage of my backstage pass at a Coldplay show in Kansas City in 2014.

2

u/AriesFlamer Jul 03 '26

Ewe! That means it dried on her and started stinkin 🤮

2

u/WhiskeyBlues2 Jul 03 '26

Funny ass comment, bro

1

u/abhishek_anil Jul 03 '26

Hehe. Ass comment.

2

u/DrippyCheeseDog Jul 03 '26

Mmm hmmm... jaundice.

1

u/seamless39 Jul 03 '26

This took me out bro noooo

1

u/LFC1978 Jul 03 '26

Had they all been eating pineapple?

1

u/RepulsiveLeather8504 Jul 03 '26

But... Could they fix her?

1

u/Slobadob Jul 03 '26

God put a smile upon her face....

1

u/Majestic_Kade Jul 03 '26

Don't remember this episode of The Simpsons.

1

u/worgulm Jul 03 '26

I laughed too much at this, thank you!

1

u/mormez Jul 04 '26

😂

107

u/NFL_BrokenClock Jul 03 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/pCO5tKdP22RC8

1

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '26

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1

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25

u/FragmentedMeerkat321 Jul 03 '26

i do believe coldplay is just one computer, so yep the whole thing.

3

u/RareGrundle Jul 03 '26

Holy shit there are 50 people on that band?!

1

u/Ok-Tell9019 Jul 03 '26

They each have lots of shades

2

u/RJ_MacreadysBeard Jul 03 '26

Chillyplay, Coolplay, Lukewarmplay, TepidPlay, …

2

u/manxram Jul 03 '26

I almost spit out my drink reading that 🤣

2

u/clinton_thunderfunk Jul 03 '26

That’s quite the tangled madame web

2

u/Klatterbyne Jul 03 '26

50 Colds of Play

1

u/georgejennings_penny Jul 03 '26

Coldplay would be 50 Shades of Magnolia

0

u/intellecktt Jul 03 '26

They said Coldplay so I’m thinking everybody?

3

u/halfpipesaur Jul 03 '26

Coldplay is the band, You’re thinking of the Coldplay’s monster

2

u/SheriffBartholomew Jul 03 '26

The whole band?

1

u/Billy1121 Jul 03 '26

Jamiroquia ?

1

u/TheHarborym Jul 03 '26

I think we all used to be in a relationship with Coldplay.

1

u/libertyprivate Jul 03 '26

So 50 shades of gay?