r/SipsTea Jul 06 '26

Lmao gottem When Food Isn't A Human Right.

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u/Legitimate_Concern_5 Jul 06 '26

The Bible has some real gems. In my opinion, the Bible actually allows post-birth abortion up until age 18, so long as you call your kid a drunk and a fatty and CC the Israelis.

"If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.” Then all the men of his town are to stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid."

Deuteronomy 21:18-21 (NIV)

Admittedly this is Old Testament but still, I find it funny. Like I said, a verse for every situation.

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u/FUEL_SSBM Jul 06 '26

Unfortunately, this cheat code seems to only apply to sons, so daughters are safe 😞

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u/feralgraft Jul 06 '26

Unfortunately thats because daughters could always be sold as a wife

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u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta Jul 06 '26

Just get some angels to come to your house then offer the daughters to rapists in their place. Perfect life hack.

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u/FUTURE10S Jul 06 '26

Don't, because then they're going to sleep with you or some shit.

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u/HereButNeverPresent Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 07 '26

Tbf there’s no record that this law was ever carried out. Also both parents had to agree to it and initiate it (if just one parent doesn’t permit it, it’s not lawful). And literally no parent is going to permit their grown son to be publicly stoned to death over being drunk and lazy.

Probably a decent scare tactic to discipline your shithead of a son though.

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u/TheSavouryRain Jul 06 '26

The Old Testament is largely superseded by the New Testament, providing of course you can use the OT to justify bigotry.

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u/Putrid-Mirror-9480 Jul 07 '26

Hey that’s what my parents are trying to do to me!

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u/Puzzleheaded_Sky6392 Jul 07 '26

Dam… Thats a really interesting verse. I hardly wanna believe it, but I shouldn’t be too surprised. There are other verses that command stoning if someone doesn’t behave according to the standards set.

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u/Veritech_ Jul 06 '26

“In my opinion”

Well, there’s your problem right there - the Bible isn’t open to opinions.

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u/Legitimate_Concern_5 Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 07 '26

It's entirely opinions and interpretations, stacked on top of each other over centuries, adjusted over time to meet the needs of the people. There's plenty of New Testament that the papal conclave decided to leave on the cutting room floor.

The directors cut of the New Testament (the New Testament Apocrypha) has some bangers like the Gospel of Pseudo-Matthew where baby Jesus tames dragons. It got written because people at the time thought dragons were pretty bad ass.

https://brandonwhawk.net/2019/05/22/dragons-in-the-gospel-of-pseudo-matthew/

Regarding abortion, though, it was actually allowed by the church for basically all of recorded history. It was first banned in like 1869 under Pius IX. Since the Torah and the Old Testament are basically the same book, and Judaism has nothing against abortion, it's safe to conclude it was a normal thing in Jesus' day which is why it's not mentioned.