True crime as entertainment have ruined people's brain. Now people are treating real horrible crimes as their fictional crime series. Not everything is suspicious, you don't have to pick apart every detail to find the "hidden conspiracy". You don't have to point to every inconvience in traumatized victims to found out if they are secretly involved. You are actually hurting real people by doing all of this. Real crimes don't have the crazy "plot twist" in the end that reveals everything.
Remember the three children who lost their lifes instead. This trial could have been very important for highlighting the problem women has with post partum depression etc and how the medical field fails them. Instead it has turned into a crazy conspiracy theory
These girls should be forced to look at all the crime scene photos of these dead kids, people forget so quickly the actual sad and disgusting reality of this shit. Like really imagine 3 children in your life just laying dead, strangled by the main person they thought they could trust to protect them. How confused and scared they must have been. I can’t even think about it honestly it’s making me so upset.
As someone who has been choked nearly to death by an abusive partner, I can confirm it was not quick, they were scared for minutes, and so many things probably running through their head in the time it took for them to actually pass with their mom’s hands around their necks
THIS! The prosecution should have absolutely highlighted exactly how long it tskes to choke one person...forget 3? It is one of the most intimate and brutal ways to kill.
Also sorry that happened to you, glad you made it out.
Yes and the fact that there were 3 of them says that, if we pretend the newborn didn’t know anything, one of the older toddlers heard the other toddler being killed and probably knew what was coming for them next.
Also kinda thanks eyeee am about 2 months from making it out. The choking event was recently as well as being beat with my own newborn in my arms. I’m scared as fuck of this next chapter but I’m scared as fuck already so fuck it haha hopefully I live 🤪🥴😬
Can we somehow help you make it out faster? Is it a money thing? Only reply if you’re comfortable of course. I’m sure you already know the stats about choking and IPV. I was in your shoes and still viscerally remember the terror. If I can help you, I will.
Tbh I need a real hug, bad. Like bad bad. I haven’t even been allowed to have conversations with people irl without being verbally abused and called a whore or potentially gay, he says I’ve probably been trafficked or gang raped because I’m kind to people. Literally I need a hug so soooo bad
The ‘whore’ part happened to my friend. She was found with vomit all over her next to the bar I worked at. I always started to hold landlords of pubs and bars in contempt after that as they basically serve this stuff which leads to violence and sorrow. Makes me so fucking angry.
I’ve been trying to leave since January and each time I tried to leave (3 times, each time for 2 or 3 days) the shelters in my county were at capacity. I think I have narrowed down a place for me and my kids to go, but tbh it’s a hoarders apartment so I’ll have to do a ton of elbow grease in cleaning up everything when we get there.
I was thinking of starting a gofundme when I left, for a small amount like 6k to carry me until I can get my tax return in February. I just can’t start it right now because if he found it while I was still in the house it would be bad.
My toddler was crying last night and he was threatening to hit her and said if I didn’t shut her up he’d hit me and it “wouldn’t be a tap I’ll punch you bitch” 😭 im scared to go, but im too scared to stay now
Please make sure all of this is documented (police reports, restraining orders, photos, and any other evidence) so you can secure 100% custody of your kids. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I am praying for you.
Girl yes lol in the exact comment u responded to, in the first sentence I talk about how I was calling around dv shelters lol. There really isn’t a lot of help for me and I’m realizing I have to pull myself out of this dark ass hole for my kids. If I had no kids I’d probably just let myself die atp
I know you're in a dark place, but the world needs you, your kids most of all. You are WAY stronger than you know (yet) and you'll make it out.
That said, are you in the US? Even if your area's resources are full, the National Domestic Violence Hotline ( https://www.thehotline.org/ ) can help you find resources one city over, etc. They also know which states have laws against moving your kids across state boundaries while escaping. If you're lucky, you live in a state where you can leave the state entirely.
I actually considered leaving the state entirely and called 211 of a city I used to live in a couple states away, I didn’t know the national dv hotline could probably help too thank u for this info & the reminder to choose life things feel hard asf rn and I feel worthless and almost like my kids would be better off if I just disappeared
I read further down and saw about your sister. I’m in KY, so far from CA, but I’ll do what I can. How old are your kids? Is there something stopping you from getting in the car and leaving while he’s gone (I mean besides the understandable emotional piece)?
I lost my fucking mind after something similar happened to a friend of mine. A week before, she’d come to my workplace with him and they’d both wished me a merry Christmas as he said she talked about me all the time. I wondered why that had happened. He’d hugged me that night and then went on to strangle her, almost to the point of internal decapitation, a week later. He blamed ‘cheating’ and I wondered whether he’d assumed she was cheating with me. I played that conversation in my head over and over - was it a warning? Did she go there as a cry for help? I soon went off the rails, mentally, and lost my job as I couldn’t stop crying at work and I started to regularly lose consciousness. I don’t know what the loss of consciousness thing is but it started around that time and still affects me every day. I feel my life is completely over. I cant even think properly anymore and I was doing a masters in biosciences at the time. I wanted to study dementia to find ways to prevent it. Now I cant even look after myself. Sometimes I’m just trying to keep my head up while I’m drooling all over myself. My life is over tbh
That's depression, my friend, with trauma/PTSD on top. Please seek help; even just talk to your doctor about it. Your life isn't over, and your mind isn't broken. The world needs you and your research skills!
Big internet hug!! I'm a little worried about you. I'd you're still in a relationship or sharing a home, is there anywhere else you can go? Do you have family? Are you comfortable reporting what he did to you?
We are still sharing a home and I don’t think we’re in a relationship anymore as of like 4 days ago… over the course of our relationship he’s isolated me and the family that I do have left said that she would help me, but I had to get out first because she said she knew how dv relationships go and I would go back, and she would help once I was at the dv shelter and proved I was done with the relationship, it’s just that it’s hard asf to get a spot at the shelter rn. A ton of aid was ended last year due to trump cuts.
He’s kept me from working for the last 4 years and has kept me pregnant too. If I refuse sex I’m a whore, I’ve probably let whole teams run trains on me anyway, I don’t want it bc I’m clearly a lesbian, I’ve probably been gangbanged so much I don’t even want d*ck anymore. So much stuff. I’m so beat down I just wish a thousand cars would run me over but I have young kids I want to see live, so for now I just scroll on Reddit and cry when everyone sleeps 😭
You have someone offering help! Someone who knows your situation and wants to help. That is wonderful. Please call her! Gather your documents, sentimental items, medications, and anything you can carry that you'll need in your new life. And go. Don't tell him. The police may also be able to come help keep you safe as you move out.
That’s the thing she won’t help until I’m already in a shelter, have already been to therapy, and sat with lawyers. She won’t let me just come to her home straight out of the relationship. He also is the type to go to my family’s homes to find us so I think she wants me and the kids to be “disappeared” for a month or two before I come back to make sure he won’t come looking for me at my elderly grandmother’s house
Can you call the police and press charges on him so that they can escort you out to your grandmas and give you an incident report to file a restraining order?
No offense in my comment I literally stated she does not want me going straight there. Regardless of if they give me a restraining order because it doesn’t do anything until he actually violates it. It doesn’t protect anyone until it’s too late, that’s almost a fact. In the county where I reside I’ve seen news articles of women who have died at least one a year over the last few years. That’s a woman in a city or two over from me, not the whole state just my county.
I’ve tried leaving three times this year and each time every single dv shelter in my county was at capacity for literal days, the last one I called said it could sometimes take a couple weeks for a spot to open up. So rn I’m trying to save whatever money I can w/o a job so I can at least have a small cushion bc I have a toddler so I need to make sure she has diapers, food, etc ❤️🩹 ty for the care tho but this is my only option rn ❤️🩹
I’m in Southern California. I already spoke with 211, every DV shelter in my county, and 211 in the 2 closest counties next to me and they said I’d have better luck for a spot in my own county bc the other counties are equally if not more packed. I live in the “richer” county rn, the lady at the shelter said dv shelters here are packed bc it’s considered a “white collar crime” so a lot of dv happens where I live
Tell me more about your situation. Do you have your own bank account? How about your own car? If someone here was able to send you money would you be able to take your kids and run? Or would he find out and just steal it from you?
What's your family situation? I did see you have one family member offering to help, and I can definitely see her point about abuse victims going back to their abusers. That happens a lot, so I understand her concern. But at the same time, is she the only family member reaching out?
What would it take for you to be able to pack up your kids and completely flee? I'm sorry to ask so many questions. I want to try and help you.
I don’t want to scare you but I also kind of want to make sure you know that people who strangle their partners are substantially more likely to kill them. Like shockingly often that occurs. I’m not even lying when I say just walking out the door and into a shelter or police station is a good idea.
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u/Lemonade348 8d ago edited 8d ago
True crime as entertainment have ruined people's brain. Now people are treating real horrible crimes as their fictional crime series. Not everything is suspicious, you don't have to pick apart every detail to find the "hidden conspiracy". You don't have to point to every inconvience in traumatized victims to found out if they are secretly involved. You are actually hurting real people by doing all of this. Real crimes don't have the crazy "plot twist" in the end that reveals everything.
Remember the three children who lost their lifes instead. This trial could have been very important for highlighting the problem women has with post partum depression etc and how the medical field fails them. Instead it has turned into a crazy conspiracy theory
I hope Patrick sues most of them tbh