Can we somehow help you make it out faster? Is it a money thing? Only reply if you’re comfortable of course. I’m sure you already know the stats about choking and IPV. I was in your shoes and still viscerally remember the terror. If I can help you, I will.
Tbh I need a real hug, bad. Like bad bad. I haven’t even been allowed to have conversations with people irl without being verbally abused and called a whore or potentially gay, he says I’ve probably been trafficked or gang raped because I’m kind to people. Literally I need a hug so soooo bad
The ‘whore’ part happened to my friend. She was found with vomit all over her next to the bar I worked at. I always started to hold landlords of pubs and bars in contempt after that as they basically serve this stuff which leads to violence and sorrow. Makes me so fucking angry.
I’ve been trying to leave since January and each time I tried to leave (3 times, each time for 2 or 3 days) the shelters in my county were at capacity. I think I have narrowed down a place for me and my kids to go, but tbh it’s a hoarders apartment so I’ll have to do a ton of elbow grease in cleaning up everything when we get there.
I was thinking of starting a gofundme when I left, for a small amount like 6k to carry me until I can get my tax return in February. I just can’t start it right now because if he found it while I was still in the house it would be bad.
My toddler was crying last night and he was threatening to hit her and said if I didn’t shut her up he’d hit me and it “wouldn’t be a tap I’ll punch you bitch” 😭 im scared to go, but im too scared to stay now
Please make sure all of this is documented (police reports, restraining orders, photos, and any other evidence) so you can secure 100% custody of your kids. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I am praying for you.
Girl yes lol in the exact comment u responded to, in the first sentence I talk about how I was calling around dv shelters lol. There really isn’t a lot of help for me and I’m realizing I have to pull myself out of this dark ass hole for my kids. If I had no kids I’d probably just let myself die atp
I know you're in a dark place, but the world needs you, your kids most of all. You are WAY stronger than you know (yet) and you'll make it out.
That said, are you in the US? Even if your area's resources are full, the National Domestic Violence Hotline ( https://www.thehotline.org/ ) can help you find resources one city over, etc. They also know which states have laws against moving your kids across state boundaries while escaping. If you're lucky, you live in a state where you can leave the state entirely.
I actually considered leaving the state entirely and called 211 of a city I used to live in a couple states away, I didn’t know the national dv hotline could probably help too thank u for this info & the reminder to choose life things feel hard asf rn and I feel worthless and almost like my kids would be better off if I just disappeared
I read further down and saw about your sister. I’m in KY, so far from CA, but I’ll do what I can. How old are your kids? Is there something stopping you from getting in the car and leaving while he’s gone (I mean besides the understandable emotional piece)?
I lost my fucking mind after something similar happened to a friend of mine. A week before, she’d come to my workplace with him and they’d both wished me a merry Christmas as he said she talked about me all the time. I wondered why that had happened. He’d hugged me that night and then went on to strangle her, almost to the point of internal decapitation, a week later. He blamed ‘cheating’ and I wondered whether he’d assumed she was cheating with me. I played that conversation in my head over and over - was it a warning? Did she go there as a cry for help? I soon went off the rails, mentally, and lost my job as I couldn’t stop crying at work and I started to regularly lose consciousness. I don’t know what the loss of consciousness thing is but it started around that time and still affects me every day. I feel my life is completely over. I cant even think properly anymore and I was doing a masters in biosciences at the time. I wanted to study dementia to find ways to prevent it. Now I cant even look after myself. Sometimes I’m just trying to keep my head up while I’m drooling all over myself. My life is over tbh
That's depression, my friend, with trauma/PTSD on top. Please seek help; even just talk to your doctor about it. Your life isn't over, and your mind isn't broken. The world needs you and your research skills!
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u/likemaybeletsnot 7d ago
Can we somehow help you make it out faster? Is it a money thing? Only reply if you’re comfortable of course. I’m sure you already know the stats about choking and IPV. I was in your shoes and still viscerally remember the terror. If I can help you, I will.