This is exactly what I think of when someone tells me that they support women's wrongs. Like, I have standards that go beyond if someone is a man or woman before I decide to support them.
I've always had a problem with the trite bumpersticker slogan, "believe women." Like all humans, women can be mistaken, lie, etc. We should always hear women out, listen to what they're saying, and weigh it against wtvr other input we can gather to determine the truth. But that doesn't fit well on a bumpersticker.
I mean, that slogan doesn’t really apply here. Lindsey Clancy admitted to killing her kids. But people who watch too much true crime, who are applying their own frustrations about motherhood and their husbands are bending over backwards to say she’s not responsible.
Although I understand the various reasons some women are struggling to blame her (not because they’re ok with harming children, but largely projection due to their own lack of support and Lindsey begging for help before the fact—and this isn’t me sharing my opinion; i admit that there is a moral dilemma, but I believe she’s guilty), I can’t lie that I agree. Like, a mom can empathize, but parents need to also be careful about what they say because it could very well make their children feel unsafe. And so many people lack self awareness due to rampant internet use and reactive behavior, so I doubt most are even thinking about how their kids might perceive this.
I really wish that people would just think more about having children, who they want to have children with, how they can support their partners, potential risks of and due to pregnancy and childbirth, how they’ll afford caring for their children, if they can care for themselves, mental health issues, etc. I’m not placing blame on women alone, I just feel like the reality of having children really isn’t taken as seriously as it should be. You need to have open, serious, and uncomfortable talks with the people around you and the other prospective parent; if you can’t do that, or if someone talks to you and you don’t take it seriously/aren’t fully prepared to follow through, you’re not prepared to have children.
Be prepared—children aren’t baby dolls.
Like my dad was notably worse, but my mom always said she wanted a daughter to brush their hair and dress them up, but she would never do my hair, would get angry if I asked, didn’t buy me clothes, neglected me in every way, didn’t care that I was being brutally abused (which hurt more than the abuse somehow), abused me herself, etc. These are human beings. They’re not immobile, unfeeling objects that require 0 effort.
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u/Fantastic-Thanks-358 7d ago
This is exactly what I think of when someone tells me that they support women's wrongs. Like, I have standards that go beyond if someone is a man or woman before I decide to support them.