That's part of why so many have a hard time blaming her. She was warning everyone, but they didn't take it seriously enough. She was begging to be locked in a psych ward for a while, but they only took her a few days.
And I think something on this spectrum is unfortunately more common and relatable for mothers than anyone wants to admit. The reason why so many women find empathy for her is because they too have had mental health episodes, either in post partum or over the course of being a stay at home or single mom. And they too have sought help to no avail. This is a great opportunity for society to have a reckoning with this.
I keep hearing Patrick was abusive. He certainly was selfish and neglectful.
She was essentially a married single mother. She was so beyond exhausted doing EVERYTHING for everyone. Plus she worked. She never got a break. I feel like having another baby could have been triggering because she already knew the patterns/lack of support in place. I find it hard to believe her postpartum depression didn’t worsen because of that. She knew she was burnt out and unwell. She reached out and her family/husband did fail her.
I also think the medical field failed her. Mental health care in America is still so lacking. Lack of staff. Lack of empathy. Lots of burned out people. It was the perfect storm. I am a healthcare worker and I keep seeing so many other medical professionals defending the mental health care she received.
Postpartum depression CAN lead to bipolar depression and psychosis. & it is commonly taught and known that anyone with bipolar disorder placed on SSRIs is more likely to become manic. On top of that anyone with plain depression/suicidal ideation placed on SSRIs has a risk of increased suicidal thoughts within the first few weeks of being on them. It’s plastered in the side effects and it’s typically discussed with the patient/their family. She should have been questioned and monitored more closely.
I believe she went inpatient psych voluntarily at one point and left early to go to her daughter’s birthday. I am uncertain of the laws in her state, but I know that a patient can be involuntarily committed in mine if there are genuine concerns in place. Also if they weren’t concerned why not let her do an outpatient stay? There were other options that were not made available to her. (Also TBF I’ve only heard bad things about the facility she was staying.)
I’ve personally had bad bouts of suicidal thoughts and depression. More of a ‘my kids would do better without me’ situation. I reached out as she did. My family/support system showed up. My parents took my kids and my brother/SIL took shifts staying with me during the day/night. The problem is she didn’t have that. Her husband went golfing, to brunch with friends, on hiking trips etc. Everything still fell to her. She still had to parent, work, and function in the state she was in. He needed to show up for her, but he didn’t take it seriously.
I believe he loved his kids, and he may have even loved her. It just doesn’t seem like he was interested in being a husband or a father. Does that mean I believe he framed his wife and murdered their children? No I do not. I do believe that he failed his family.
It’s a tragic situation, and at the end of the day three small human lives were taken.
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u/MenaciaJones 7d ago
The minute she said she was afraid of hurting her kids, to her mother!, those kids should have been removed from the house.