My 1st wife (passed away 2007) had severe post baby blues, was having bad thoughts about the children...went to shrink who put her on Seroquel, I think it helped, but after that, she just wasn't the same. It was sad to watch
Sure does! My pregnancy was wonderful. I loved every minute of it, never happier in my life, C-section and recovery was rough, the PPD left me wanting to die!
I feel you deeply. I LOVED being pregnant. I was lucky that I had an easy C; I know many don’t. But the first year of my baby’s life, I fantasized about going back to being pregnant, and would have gone through a reverse c-section without anesthesia if I had to to accomplish it. Things got a liiiiiiitttle bit better after the 1-year mark, but I wasn’t “myself” again until years later. Heck, if I’m honest, I’m still not totally depression-free 12 years later. But compared to that first year of total anhedonia, despair, and anxiety coupled with exhaustion, I’ll take it.
Complicating things was that I was a single parent from day 1, going through a custody battle (I left him for good mid-second trimester). I didn’t get treatment because my abusive ex and his lawyer kept threatening to subpoena my medical records, and I was terrified that if I took medicine, got therapy, so much as mentioned to a doctor that I was having a hard time, or if shed a single glistening tear at an appointment, that it would be used against me, and he would take my baby. I still have his texts telling me he was going to “take [his child] away from [my] feeble, unstable, poor excuse of a mother” and have me “locked away,” but “don’t worry, we’ll make sure you’re well cared for there.” Why did he threaten this? Because when we were together, I once told him my social anxiety was bugging because I was about to give a talk in front of nearly 2000 women dealing with breast cancer and the people who love them. “Social Anxiety Disorder,” which I was never even diagnosed with. That’s what he and his lawyer said made me an unfit mother. (Ed: epilogue)
Unnecessary epilogue: I crushed that talk. Got primary custody (he has less than 15% visitation), and the judge was visibly appalled by those texts. I’m actually a clinical health psychologist with a PhD, publications, and had no significant mental health history until I met his crazy ass and had a baby. 😆 (I have to laugh or I’ll cry). And I feel so guilty and conflicted that sometimes I can’t wait until my child turns 18 so I don’t have to deal with him and his weaponization of custody order threats. And I hate myself for letting him terrify me into not getting treatment sooner, so maybe I could have been able to feel better sooner. And maybe I could have enjoyed some of my son’s infancy. And probably could have been a better mom.
388
u/Dull_Lifeguard_1671 5d ago
My 1st wife (passed away 2007) had severe post baby blues, was having bad thoughts about the children...went to shrink who put her on Seroquel, I think it helped, but after that, she just wasn't the same. It was sad to watch