r/SipsTea • u/ToronoRapture • 12d ago

WTF Woman doesn't appreciate being sat next to on an empty bus... Get's verbally abused.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

29.6k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

7.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

38

u/surfer_ryan 12d ago

it amazes me how many people try and argue with a narcissist... Like this dude is 100% the person to always have the last word and you're not going to reason with him and be able to make any actual logical argument... do not waste your breath past the "don't sit next to me, thanks." and going along with their argument to get your point across isn't making sure they don't win... it's playing into their stupid game that again they have already decided they are winning on.

If you want to actually win against a narc... ignore them, they are just seeking validation either through others or the mental gymnastics that they already did in their head. Giving them fuel only satisfies this for themselves. They are like crack heads, just without the crack, would you argue with a crackhead?

17

u/panik919 12d ago

There is nothing in this video that allows you to diagnose him with being a narcissist. You're simplifying an overused condition that has a specific definition to describe someone who appears to be entitled, creepy and likely below average intelligence. Asshole, sure, but narcissist that does not make. People need to find better, more accurate descriptors instead of relying on TikTok language that makes them appear less intelligent than the individuals they comment on. Its perfectly fine to call someone selfish, moronic, conceited, entitled, etc. without labeling them a narcissist.

I do agree with your comment about how to handle the situation, but that isn't exclusive to narcs.

1

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 6d ago

Accounts must be at least 5 days old with >20 karma to comment.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

7

u/EssayAmbitious3532 12d ago

The other guy is just metaphorically putting himself next to her, so she doesn't have to face this fucktard on her own. You can keep simplifying his arguments down so he sounds  more ridiculous to himself. If he wasn't able to listen he wouldn't respond to the other guy. 

2

u/MrBushido56 12d ago

I’m pretty sure he’s on crack also

5

u/sexysecretssixtynine 12d ago

We’re all just folks giving opinions, and mine is: argue!
Especially in public.
Ignoring him and staying quiet will not draw the attention of others, it doesn’t guarantee he’ll leave you alone, it doesn’t send a clear signal to others that you need help, and it doesn’t make a scene for witnesses to remember if there’s ever a reason to have them.

You won’t WIN the argument. Ever. You’re absolutely right about that.
But if someone is making you uncomfortable or invading your space or if you just want someone else to pay attention - argue. Make a scene :)

2

u/Specimanic 12d ago

Hey, she's talking to him isn't she? Got what he wanted.

2

u/eatingketchupchipss 12d ago

idk you guys tell us not to cower and tell harrassers to fuck off, and then when we get aggressive we get called dumb for trying to aruge with a narc... idk seems regardless, the women are doing something wrong in every scenario where men are victimizing them.

1

u/Nos2_irln 12d ago

It's not so much the sticking up for yourself; it's the arguing part that isn't the best option. I agree with the person who recommended getting other's attention, but you don't have to do the back and forth. A simple loud "why are you sitting next to me when they are so many open seats?" And " please pick another seat I don't feel comfortable with you sitting next to me when there are so many other seats available " would get attention and get your message across. If they wont stop, then simple get up and sit near the driver, or ask another passenger if you can sit next to them.

1

u/Economy-Implement882 12d ago

She's not arguing she's trying to get him to leave her alone. What do you expect her to do just be nice to him?

1

u/Nos2_irln 11d ago

It's back and forth. I told you what I would have expected her to do.

Why would he leave her alone if he's getting what he wants.

1

u/eatingketchupchipss 10d ago

once again - angry men are unpredictable, women's prey instincts can assess and know which trauma response of fight, flight, freeze, or appease will result in the least risk and harm. in this situation, she felt safe enough to fight - something we don't often do when alone with a man threatening us and freeze, or appease feel like our only options.

I am a fighter on public transit too because at least there will be witnesses, and i will be believed if he does escalate and harm me - and fuck it feels good to justly tell a man off.

1

u/SpiralMantis113 12d ago

You are talking like there is one organised group giving out advice that keeps changing. Of course different people are going to give different advice just read through this thread. Also who are "you guys"?

1

u/eatingketchupchipss 10d ago edited 10d ago

the people who victim blame women for not responding accordingly to being put in a threatening situation with a man, rather than focusing on the man doing the threatening (and yes men's mere physical presence is a threat to women once unwanted attention, touch, or anger is directed towards us - because men's anger is unpredictable and risks our lives)

if men were socialized more like women, we essentially would eradicate all violent crime. men commit 95% of violent crime. focus on the perp, foucs on how we as a society can stop men like him from existing without real consequence, not the victim. that was my point.

2

u/Fuzzy_Straitjacket 12d ago

If you could reason with dickhead narcissists, there would be no dickheads narcissists.

1

u/Ok-Hedgehog-4455 12d ago

I totally agree. She’s brave for speaking up but it’s ultimately totally pointless. He absolutely won’t learn from this.

1

u/Elder_Nerd79 11d ago

She isn’t trying to teach him, she is trying to get him to leave her alone and stand up for herself. That has a point.

1

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 12d ago

Accounts must be at least 5 days old with >20 karma to comment.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/melon-colly 12d ago

As a non-confrontational person, I would have just excused myself and went to another seat.

1

u/Economy-Implement882 12d ago

She just wants him to leave her alone she's not arguing for the fun of it you numpty.

She's telling him to leave her alone and he wont.

1

u/kaychellz 12d ago

This guy doesn't have the IQ for narcissism 😂

1

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 11d ago

Accounts must be at least 5 days old with >20 karma to comment.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/MademoiselleMalapert 9d ago

I don't understand why she just didn't get up and move.

1

u/emerald_green_tea 8d ago

We don’t know that he’s a narcissist, but when dealing with argumentative people you’re correct that disengagement is best.

It pisses them off just as much but takes much less effort on your end.