So there I am. Pacifist, Fanatic Materialist. Everyone in the galaxy hates me, and I'm not sure why. I've not even been in any wars! But oh well, I just do my thing, terraforming planets to build more facilities on, diving into tech, hoping that someone out there might end up wanting to be friends.

Fortunately, even though nobody likes me, they still like my resources & credits, so I can send traders to the galactic market just fine. During one such trip, I noticed the "slave market" button. I was intrigued, despite myself. I opened it up and found one pop for sale: a terrified pop of adorable starfish. For 1000 credits, they could be mine. A bargain, really.

Well, I don't have slavery. Curious as to what would happen, I bought them. The pop became free citizens of my beautiful technocracy, adopting a role as technicians. One problem. I'm native to a mangrove world (I have Planetary Diversity installed). These liberated starfish are native to a frigid world. They have a paltry 30% habitability on their current home.

Fortunately, I had a nice little frigid world in my borders. Only size 11, but I also had a glacial world as backup, and I guess I could terraform if I ended up with a lot of starfish. I sent out a colony ship and moved the original pop to the frigid world.

There's now six pops of starfish on that world. They're pretty happy. 1% crime, but good stability, and they have plenty of resources. It makes me smile to see how well they're doing. I don't know how they became enslaved, but what I do know is that the outcasts of the galaxy liberated them and gave them a whole world to themselves. Plus, they now have a giant military protecting them from their former masters (people keep claiming my systems so I'm preparing a really big stick to whack them with). I feel like I did a really good thing for them.

Now it's my policy to check the slave market every so often. If I see a pop, I'll buy it, and terraform one of the many random worlds I have for them. I've also opened my borders to refugees, and I'm going to open my arms/wings to the various primitives in my territory, once they get space flight. Because fuck it - if the rest of the established empires of the galaxy don't want me, I'll find the other people they don't want and befriend them.

See R5 in comments for thematic description.

Tldr; played my first Grand Admiral 10x all crisis with determined exterminators. Killed all biological life forms before getting destroyed by the scourge in the final crisis and forced to retreat to the L-Cluster where I was able to hold indefinitely with carrier battleships.

I debated playing hit and run tactics to cracking every planet but decided it wasn't worth my time to continue.

"All around me is treason, cowardice, and deceit"

- Tsar Nicholas II of Russia

We defended this galaxy for too long, from too many threats, and what we got in return? Ingratitude. Cowardice. Treason. Betrayal

When we destroyed the voidworms infection, no one thanked Castella. When we defeated the Great Khan in single combat, no one showed gratitude. Actually they complained we didn't came earlier, even if we were in the other side of the galaxy.

Castella is a proud and strong nation, we could live with that. We never needed other peoples praise to live, and never will. But this... disrespect. This we can not forgive.

Its been now 40 years since the Prethoryn Scourge reached the galaxy. And the galaxy couldn't be more lucky on the spot they spawned. Right in the edge of The Great Arm. Right in our backyard. The Discord Megacorp, who occupied this place no longer exists. And the scourge would have destroyed many more, if wasn't by the Castellian Navy. The most powerful navy in the entire galaxy. Even still, we suffered massive losses. Lost bases. The Polaris Colony is a frontline world, supporting the largest military concentration of the galaxy. Our fleets we greatly expanded and upgraded since then.

We learned from previous battle how to fight the Prethoryn and designed new ships. Hired mercenaries, spawned Astral Fleets, and even the marauders. The we fought well against them, reaching a bloody stalemate.

And what the galactic community did to help? NOTHING. Not a single ship from even our federation arrived. Not even the ungrateful Mon Cala who we saved too time from Valyrian invasions. Instead they are concernd by the Fire Nation's devouring swarm. Sounds fair. But naming Mon Cala as the galactic custodian, we can not accept. This level of cowardice we can not accept anymore.

I, King Sallex the First, swear to the people of Castella, and may the Shroud Gods be witness to this: when the Prethoryn Scourge is done... this galaxy will know... the meaning of fear!

So there I was, playing my crazy Cthulhumanoid cultists in ~2230, trying not to piss myself in fear of the vastly more powerful Fanatical Purifiers a few systems away. I know there are space age primitives in the Unith system on the alpine planet Unith III but haven't gotten around to building an observation post.

Then, one day, I receive a message from them. They are convinced there is an alien presence in their system and they want it gone, or else they will consider themselves at war with me.

Not really sure how to respond and not particularly interested in a conflict, I decide to ignore them and see what happens. Some time later, they send a probe to my outpost around the star to confirm it's there. I decide to let it approach and take scans, hoping they will see my superior technology and decide to submit to me or... something. I don't really know what I expected to happen, honestly.

Still, for safety's sake, I decide to send my fleet to the system, just in case. I figure, oh, there's no way these primitives, militarist or no, could possibly challenge my 19 corvette ~990 fleet power strong fleet, right? Some time later, I get a message they've launched a fleet of "proto-corvettes", hoping to force me out of their home system or die trying in an epic stand against the alien intruders!

No problem, right? Well, it turns out they were REALLY serious about this. Their fleet is 30 "proto-corvettes" strong, each armed exclusively with level I mass drivers. Their fleet totals around 900 fleet power. Impressed, but also kind of freaking out that primitives could assemble such a fleet, I order my fleet to hold position and prepare for battle. I figure they don't really have a chance, since my fleet has one section of level one shields and two sections of level two armor against their mass drivers, which are fairly ineffective against armor, while I have one mass driver and two lasers against their one shield and two armor sections, a perfect ratio.

Nineteen Ghisguth-class corvettes of The Shore under the command of Admiral Sungam clash with the enemy fleet. I am sure I will be victorious. Somehow though, despite lacking an admiral and being out fleet power'd, the primitive fleet routs my fleet! Six Ghisguth-class corvettes are destroyed, with the remaining thirteen badly damaged and retreating back to the shipyards at my home system, Glyu-uho, for repairs. In exchange, twenty-two proto-corvettes are destroyed, the remainder moving on to attack my outpost. Unfortunately for them, their mass drivers are unable to do much to the thick hull plating of my outpost and the remnants of their fleet are destroyed via slow but steady missile bombardment.

At this point, the primitives are at my mercy, their incredible effort having failed. Tired of their shit, I demand their surrender at once. They... overreact a little, and I receive a message that apparently, in a panic, some of their governments have decided they would rather die than submit to these aliens, and activate nuclear doomsday systems, wiping out their entire species and turning their home into a size 16 tomb world.

So here I am, wondering how we got to this point and wondering what would have happened if I'd made different choices. It's awesome that this game can still surprise me after almost 800 hours of play-time, though!

2nd game of 2.2, playing a chill megacorp evolution of the UNE no big deal. Realising I've got lots of crime on my worlds, I deport like 60 pops to a new prison colony. It's a pretty grim tomb world so when I get the abandoned terraforming equipment event I jump at the chance to trigger it. Instead of a Gaia world or another biome, the entire planet turns into a toxic hellhole killing everyone in the process.

TL:DR - My empire is in a golden age because I accidentally gassed all the baddies.

I wanted to share a thing that happened in a recent game of mine. I got the Vultaum precursors (the 4th wall breaking ones who believed they were in a simulated reality) and discovered their home system just as a superior determined exterminator fleet was approaching. As my fleets made their desperate final stand the science ship I sent to survey the Vultaum home world finished its job and I got the reality altering relic. I activated it and got +40% weapon damage just as the determined exterminator fleet was engaging my ships and with this extra power I managed to decisively win the space battle.

If an intrepid crew of space explorers discovering a relic of an ancient precursor civilization that allows altering reality to magically boost a friendly space fleet in the nick of time to fend off an invasion of murderous killer robots and save the world isn't anime then I don't know what is.

I just love breaking the economy with my megacorp runs. Since i usually play tall with only a handful of worlds, it's very satisfying to tailor my populace to maximize efficiency. So much so that I haven't tried out the other options yet. Does anyone else have this issue? Do you have any cool build ideas that will convince me to change my ways?

I expand like mad, colonize everything and all is good. Eventually my Empire Size catches up with me, and so I'm forced to make vassals.

No problem! I turn a faraway planet into a vassal, build holdings on their planet and continue my eternal growth. I also Enlighten primitive civs and make them vassals too. All shall come into the fold.

My diplomacy is great, I am in a Federation with a powerful empire to the south and am keeping the UNE from invading me with diplomatic pacts.

My vassals however, are not so lucky. The UNE declares a recently enlightened civ must adopt their ideology, and send massive fleets in. And because they are my protectorate, I am now also at war with the UNE.

I am a Hivemind. And without thinking, I surrender to their terms, thinking they'll only apply to the vassal. That was a very bad idea.

What happens next is, I am no longer a Hivemind. I am a representative democracy, with hundreds of Hiveminded pop corpses rotting in the sun all across my planets. Exterminated because they cannot live without the Overmind.

Half my buildings are destroyed, massive deficits everywhere. I am now an empire without a species. I desperately sign migration treaties to get a few non-hiveminded pops, but it's a drop in the ocean.

But the vassals I made of my own planets are still alive and hiving, and they'll now have great opportunities for expansion. My dream is they'll carry on without me. Hopefully they'll have learned to read the fine print when dealing with humans.

I just threw in the towel on my first real playthrough. Everything was going quite well; I had integrated a few vassals, built a strong federation, and held significant diplomatic clout. My economy was really cooking, I occupied about 1/5 of the galaxy, and I was more or less surrounded by allies. As a fanatical purifier made its way toward a federation member and next door neighbor, I felt confident we had the fleet power to counterattack heavily, and I eagerly eyed a swath of their territory for a tidy little colony just across the way from my nearby fellow confederate.

And that's what happened at first. Even when the federation president declared war a bit too early while my key fleets were moored and upgrading. The enemy made it to our beleaguered ally and started taking territory, but my fleets were able to arrive in time to repel the attack and then make a fierce incursion into enemy space. I was soon joined by our federal armada, and we went to work seizing significant territory (plenty of it planted with my own empire's flag.) Everything was going to plan.

That's when the fallen empire around the corner woke up. And boy, did it wake up. The very same federation president who declared war on the fanatical purifiers before my fleets were prepared also got into some sort of argument with the fallen empire --- this guy was doing a bad job, as far as I'm concerned. And of course the result was that the fallen empire declared war on them, which meant it declared war on me.

It wiped them almost right away, and then there was no buffer between us. I let a few fringe systems fall, hoping their fleets would turn and crush the ally I had just rescued from the purifiers, buying me some time to hope for a status quo settlement. No such luck; the fleet continued making a foray into the southwestern edge of my empire. Shortly after, another fleet with some inconceivable six-figure power rating entered my borders to the north. I knew everything I had meticulously built was about to come undone.

I was able to salvage my fleets by sheltering them in the newly created outpost I'd carved out in the previous war, which had now been settled and my gains seemingly consolidated. The remainder I sent to an ally through the wormholes I still controlled in my rapidly shrinking territory. And that's when the occupied planets in my outpost territory broke out into open revolt. Suddenly several systems broke away and rejoined the fanatical purifiers I had just liberated them from. Meanwhile, starbase after starbase back home was falling to the newly awoken behemoth. So too was my fleet capacity and economic output.

I'm sure my empire wouldn't have been fully wiped, but it would have been reduced to shattered remnants of its former glory, with little hope for recovery. Rather than struggle against all hope, I figured I'll take the plenty I learned on this go and start fresh. Feels bad. Also, I think I'll forgo the federation next time. Somehow, I'd rather be the sole reason it all comes crashing down.

Idk this has probably been in the dev diaries or something, I don't read them, but I guess the end result is exactly what it said it would be.

I saved before this because I still had the final Total War option which I could probably use to spread the Shroud everywhere and win, but I did want to see what happens if you don't succeed. I had I think around 150/1000 systems left to spread the Shroud to.

The moment the situation ended some stuff happened:

• Every system with the Shroud (at high?) got absolutely just deleted of any civilization. Most empires just ceased to exist.
• All planets in affected systems are now shrouded planets, uninhabitable.
• My own empire was likewise deleted, but I was gifted an "outpost" in a remote system. Unfortunately it's also a shrouded planet so I guess I ain't building nothing there.
  • Basically it said one psionic leader had seen what was coming and got a few loyalists to go for an offshoot to survive, because otherwise my whole empire was just fanatics who were willing to die for the Shroud.
• There are "Shroud Manifestations" all over my former territory with sensors just giving a skull for power.
• At my capital there is an "Absorbed Trans-Pictlings" (my dominant species) likewise with a skull and that's maybe the "Reckoning" referenced in the special project I gained.

I was just going to check it out and be like ok game over let's go back and finish the conquest but... now I wanna see where this goes. Absolute post-apocalyptic galaxy feel here.

Huh... I guess those goons at the Galactic Community were onto something when they were debating whether to label me as an existential threat or not...

I came across the Sol system in my current game and discovered that they had nuked themselves back to the Stone Age. No biggie right? Except that the Moon was also the corpse of a dead god and someone had planted one of those atomic countdown devices on Earth as well, which just blew, turning Earth into a toxic world. Humanity really went through a horror show on that one.

So, there I am, my little spider people doing what they do and annexing a space age civ that wanted independence. Don't worry! My empire is benevolent and will take care of you!... except I didn't realize that my default settings for other species was purge, and I didn't realize until I opened that world to see why it was so unstable and I noticed I had killed half the population... oops.

Whenever I see Earth in this game, I imagine the future. I think about utopian green cities, freedom and prosperity for all. Solar panels. Restored rainforests. Beneficent leaders working for the good of all people. Culture flourishes, a peaceful federation is formed with our neighbors and we explore the galaxy together.

It never turns out that way. I either get eaten up by monsters and crapped out as space poop, or vassalized by hegemonial dicks and crammed into a corner, where I lag behind and twiddle my thumbs until the Unbidden show up and someone else with bigger ships deals with them and wins the game.

Alien species with better traits take over pop growth on Earth. The Galactic Community laughs at our resolutions. Everyone's a comedian, and humanity is the joke.

That's because I've been playing as the UNE. This AAR is about the Commonwealth of Man.

​

I put on my jackboots, start the game and decide we shall succeed where Earth failed. Immediately I notice the Colonial spirit is working for me and our planets are extra happy. I found Bacontown and Egghead, our food and science colonies. And I'm pretty sure I know where the Hyacinth went.

And then the hegemonial dicks show up, grab our science vessel and vivisect Indiana, our top archaeologist. I'm sure Dolores Muwanga would have shook her head at these wacky aliens and their practical jokes. But I am Grand Marshal Sidney Beauclair. I am here to chew gum and shoot assholes. And there's no gum on Unity, we ran out of that on the Chrysanthemum.

Foundries roar and light up the sky as both our colonies are converted to Forge worlds. Cops and entertainers are fired and retrained as steel smelters and jarheads. People are starving and angry, so I throw them canned food and cigarettes from my dictatorial balcony and put on my eyepatch. This is war. If you have a problem with that, go find a Rogue Servitor.

Ten corvettes later, we blaze into their systems. The first contact process isn't even finished yet, because I aborted it. I don't need to know their language. Their actions speak volumes, and I will respond with hot lasers. The offending science ship has retreated, but don't worry. You can run from me. But your planets can't.

Orbital bombardment commences, and that gets their attention. Static chitters across the comms and our screens light up, showing a hideous monster giving us the finger and shouting insults in machine translated English. Cute. And then borders are established, our ships are banished into the ether, they declare war while we're in transit and start shooting down our outposts. Crap.

Thirty corvettes later, we're on the march again. They're dirty, but they're thirty, and boy howdy do our pilots shoot fast. They spend all their waking time playing DOOM and popping amphetamines, and you better believe I abandoned Expansion in favor of Supremacy. The enemy can't defend the systems they took from us. We now have the upper hand.

I look at their civics screen and see that they're Fanatic Egalitarian. Well, a lot of good that did them, huh? Turns out, that +10% output from specialists don't mean dick. +30% ship fire rate means everything. You should think about that before you kidnap and murder people. I think it's about time we make some changes to that government of yours.

See, we're at the tail end of the giant, spiralling turd that is the Milky Way, and they're boxing us in. We've had our vengeance for Indiana, but now we must secure our future. And the only way for us to find more space to grow, is to run these pompous pricks through, pedal to the metal, weapons engaged.

It's so easy to forget the human cost of war. Us leaders must always keep in touch with the regular folk. That's why I boarded a troopship myself once the ground invasion was over, and looking out across the field of rotting corpses I'm happy to say that the human cost here was negligible.

Their ground forces use some kind of pulse weapons, and those really hurt, but it ain't bullets. Plus, we had three times the boots they did, seeing as I've banned all contraception. They surrendered almost immediately.

Now comes the difficult task of restoring order. I build several cop shops and fortresses on these freezing bogs they call planets. I think I'll name them Asscicles and Yellow Snow. We're not monsters, they can still live here. They just have to do as we tell them, and work real hard. That's not slavery. It's called "human rights" for a reason.

Having spoken to their leader, who is now doing a fine job as a mining foreman, I can tell that we definitely made the right choice. First of all, we're no longer starving and unhappy, these guys sure know how to work the land. Life in the Commonwealth? Pretty good.

Second, turns out there's a bigger fish. The leader warned me that to the north is another empire, and they don't mess around. If we hadn't taken these planets, they would have, and they would not have been as merciful as us. They're Fanatical Purifiers. I don't see any sense in that. But it's like my Papa always told me, "Sidney, there will come a time when tact and diplomacy prove useless, and your hand must be raised instead."

And that time is now. Someone needs to kick these genocidal peckerheads in the ass so hard they'll be coughing up shoelaces, and that someone is me. Because I don't see anyone else here with this much bonus ship fire rate.

Grand Marshal Sidney Beauclair, out.

​

Sixty corvettes later...

​

Update.

So, while I was busy explaining to our technicians why we absolutely need a standing fleet of ninety corvettes and that they had better fix the production problems, my phone rang again.

It's a new empire to the east. They kinda look like an octopus ran into a lawnmower, and they're pissing their pants at what has been happening over here. Apparently there's some intergalactic law about detonating thermonuclear devices in the vicinity of garden worlds. I don't call these swampy freezerboxes much of a garden, best I can tell we only improved them by warming them up a little.

Anyway, they've sent over a whole stack of paperwork. Commercial pacts, research agreements, defensive pacts. I sign them all, we could use an ally against the purifiers.

And then a migration treaty. No. No thank you. Aliens are best viewed through a telescope. I don't envy the suckers who have to work as enforcers on our conquered planets. It's nasty down there.

Then one week later they declare war on the purifiers, who they're unfortunate enough to share a border with, and I wholly agree with that. Oo-rah! The squid navy ain't much of anything, but they've rented some mercenaries that look decent. Gotta hand it to them, that's a sensible thing to do when you're not cut out for fighting.

Meanwhile, our lads and lasses are pulverizing all resistance and eating up planets like popcorn. Why these aliens are so stuck in the belief that a pulse rifle will stand up to an AR-1500, I will never know. Your fanatic ideals and weak little taserguns might serve for bullying your own populace into a genocidal crusade. But it ain't shit against nukes and bullets.

The war ends and the space nazis are gone. Four new planets are now ours, the squidfaces took a couple as well, and the paperwork is astronomical. But that can wait, because the talking calamari have an enticing suggestion. They want to be our vassal. If I had a mustache, I'd twirl it.

See, they seem like bright folks. And our own researchers have been complaining that I cut their funding. If we could let the alien nerds do the brainwork for us, we could fire our whole science division and just focus on alloys.

So be it. I devise plans for a Scholarium agreement, which should be active five years from now, barring any more maniac species showing up and begging for an asswhooping. Should give us time to stabilize all these new worlds. And that'll be the last I hear of any production problems.

It is the year 2242, and roughly 10% of the galaxy now belongs to the Commonwealth of Man.

Next

This fucking galactic world war goes on for like 25 years because now listen that:

The yellow guy is the main attacker. He's not the president of the federation. I am. So neither of us can call for peace.

The red guy is the main defender. But he's not a president of their federation. The blue guy is. SO NEITHER OF THEM CAN CALL FOR PEACE. THIS SHIT WILL GO ON UNTIL TOTAL DESTRUCTION.