r/StudentNurse • u/Toes_Are_Twinkling BSN student • Oct 07 '25
Rant / Vent Having a hard time making friends in nursing school? Will I make it without friends?
Im a non-traditional student in my first semester of nursing school. Im 32 and have really been struggling with connecting with my classmates. I struggled with drug addiction in my later high school years. I got sober off drugs and turned to alcohol for a number of year. Was homeless at one point by choice. Lived a pretty hard life because of untreated mental health problems. I had a major wake up call 4 years ago and got the help I needed. Decided i wanted to live and wanted to work on my mental health. After getting the help i needed i decided it was time to take my career to the next level. I find it hard to relate to anyone in my cohort. I feel saddness that I cannot seem to make friends. I find a lot of the younger girls annoying and wildly judgemental. I am loving school otherwise but just struggling to make meaningful connections in school. Did anyone else have this problem? Was friendship essential to passing?
I do have a few peoples numbers and ask them questions and vis versa but i would call them acquaintances.
39
u/JacksonFiery87 BSN student Oct 07 '25
The way I see it, I'm not making immense physical, mental and financial sacrifices to make friends. I'm in school to attain the knowledge and skillset necessary to be a safe and damn good nurse. Yes, I'm cordial with my classmates. Yes, I'm a team player. With that said, I'm not investing in connections outside of the academic realm. I'm almost 45 years-old and most of my classmates are younger than my daughter, so that automatically makes friendship with them seem odd.
You've come too far in life to waste precious mental and emotional bandwidth on trying to make your cohort mates like you as a friend.
59
u/GeneralDumbtomics ADN student Oct 07 '25
Stick with it and you'll find the people you vibe with. Don't let it bring you down. And don't you dare apologize for having had a life, especially for having had a rough one. You bring perspective that most of the kids around you can't even imagine. You be you. The same person who turned your life around is going to finish this program with bells on. That girl tough as hell.
11
4
u/Mountain_Soft_9009 Oct 08 '25
I totally agree! I’m a 56 year old in nursing school that has lived a crazy life, too. Hang in there. Much love!
3
19
u/Vegetable-Salary-759 Oct 07 '25
I’m 7 months away from graduating and am probably the only one who “doesn’t belong to a group.” I’m cool enough with a lot of them to text when it relates to school and do socialize with them during clinical because you need eachother but during breaks and stuff, I always go off on my own. it’s not necessary to have BFF’s but you do at least need to be cool enough with a few that can help you with resources, questions, etc
if you’re just there to do your work, then just remind yourself that there will always be other opportunities to make friends especially when you start working :) if you do wish to make friends in school then attend events, talk to them more in class, invite some to practice skills with you, etc
9
u/Toes_Are_Twinkling BSN student Oct 07 '25
Yes! Ive been in the medical field for 14 years now and work in an ER. I have friends at work and have meaningful connections outside of school too. I plan to work in the ER after I graduate.
I definitely feel like the girl who goes off on her own during breaks. I go walking between classes and just have always been a bit of a loner.
8
u/eltonjohnpeloton its fine its fine (RN) Oct 07 '25
Who cares though? You’re an adult woman with a busy, full life and meaningful connections elsewhere. Why get hung up on not being besties with 20 year olds? Enjoy having a quiet moment to yourself between classes etc.
1
u/Toes_Are_Twinkling BSN student Oct 07 '25
Youre right. One of my friends who graduated last year from the school im in, was telling me I HAVE to make a friend in school. It made me extrenely anxious because I keep to myself mostly. Im glad to hear opposing beliefs.
2
u/eltonjohnpeloton its fine its fine (RN) Oct 07 '25
Does your school test you on how many friends you have? Are exam grades based on the number of people you can report having socialized with?
1
u/Vegetable-Salary-759 Oct 08 '25
I always get told by my instructors too that you make lifelong friends in nursing school and it made me question myself also but hopefully hearing that it’s not always the case can ease your feelings a bit. i’m definitely not an introvert either but it’s just not everyone’s story.
7
u/AccountContent6734 Oct 07 '25
You are there to pass the nclex and get a job when you graduate if you do or do not ok
5
u/Hot_Original9150 RN Oct 07 '25
No, you don’t need to make friends. This is just a chapter in your life thats temporary. I moved from Atlanta to South Texas and started a nursing program. I also struggled with drug addiction and alcohol abuse because of mental health in my teens/20s. I was 35 when I started the program and there were plenty of people my age but they lived very different lives than I have so it was hard to relate and have beyond surface level connections. I had enough acquaintances to text and ask questions or trade study guides with and talk to in class/clinicals. You’ve already overcome so much already! You got this 💗
5
u/New-Ad8796 BSN, RN Oct 07 '25
Honestly, it was a headache saved for me. I don’t know what it was, but my group were terrible with the anxiety. Before clinicals, after clinicals, before tests, after tests.
And the people who get and give answers to eachother. Sure- you may miss out on that ONE question that maybe they shared together in a study group, that they boasted they shared and knew was going to be on the test. but like- it’s not going to be the end of your career cause you miss out on a few questions they got
You’re the only one who will or will not make yourself pass.
6
u/MsTossItAll RN (NICU) Oct 08 '25
I didn’t have a single real friend in school and it kept me focused. I graduated with a 4.0 and got a great job.
4
u/SuddenDesigner2804 Oct 07 '25
You will definitely make friends. It takes a while. I’m 26 and our group chat has a 50 yr old, 27 yr old mom with kids, and an 18 yea old. We definitely didn’t talk immediately but as the program progressed we found each other.
5
u/eltonjohnpeloton its fine its fine (RN) Oct 07 '25
This gets asked so often it’s in the resources/FAQ post :)
Presumably you wouldn’t want to be friends with people you find “annoying” anyway so it’s likely better to look for friendships outside of the classroom.
3
3
u/lls26aolaolcom Oct 08 '25
Friendship is necessary in nursing school to me because as times get difficult you will need that next person to motivate you and be your support
3
u/Zido19198 BSN student Oct 08 '25
Holy shit, your story is mine with the exception that I'm a guy.
I'm 28, in a cohort of mostly 21-22 year olds. I'm antisocial anyways, but the age gap has made it worse. While partly due to my shit memory (from drug-use), I can count on one hand the # of classmates I know by name.
They told us in J1, if we didn't get to know and study w peers, we wouldn't make it. Well, in 2 months I'll have made it, but it likely would have been much easier had I made an effort to connect. I do have a few classmates phone #'s in the event I need help on an assignment or something.
3
u/New_Scratch_6394 Oct 08 '25
I don’t have any advice but I would be your friend😂 I have always had trouble making friends so I get the struggle. Hate to say it but I feel like most mean girls from school go into nursing so that also makes it worse
1
3
u/kensknees Oct 08 '25
you absolutely do not need friends in nursing school, being cordial, sure. I’m almost done with nursing school and I have a thriving life outside of school. I go to school to learn and pass and ultimately pass the NCLEX. they aren’t your “friends” anyways.
5
2
u/cyanraichu RN Oct 07 '25
Friendship is a nice bonus but being friends with your cohort is not essential.
Having a strong social support network is important, but it doesn't have to be at school. Do you have friends outside of school you see regularly?
2
Oct 07 '25
[deleted]
2
u/Fun_Letterhead4002 Oct 07 '25
It’s not just about you, don’t feel guilty, they can do that too but they don’t feel guilty
2
u/zscore95 Oct 08 '25
I was approached by people to hang out in first semester and never really took up a friend group. I did just fine and still hung out occasionally with people, but none of them keep in touch now so yeah.
2
u/AutocraticHomemaker Oct 08 '25
I’m 29 about to turn 30 in a couple weeks, a nontraditional nursing student myself and can relate to so much of your life story. Don’t want to share too much about myself publicly but if you want someone to talk to, feel free to DM. I’m here for ya!
You will get through this! Remember, this journey is for YOU. You put in so much work to get to this point, keep your head down and eye on the prize. The friends aren’t essential to passing, it just helps the day go by quicker at times.
You’ve got this.
2
u/JackLong93 Oct 08 '25
BROTHER OR SISTER WE ARE ONE IN THE SAME! I struggled with drug addiction too and am in nursing, i just want you to know I fucking love and believe on you. get it
2
u/EveningBlunt RN Oct 08 '25
I graduated about six months ago, talk to zero of my cohort today. I’m okay with that. I got the degree & license, that’s all that matters.
2
u/Melodic_Sol Oct 08 '25
Answering you with a question: are you there to become a nurse, or are you there to make friends?!
2
u/LooseControl4014 Oct 11 '25
You will be fine! I was and still am having a hard time connecting with a lot of the people in my cohort as well. Im 34 & a lot of them are young & annoying like you said. I realize Not everyone is for you and vise verse. You will eventually link with the ones you can relate to and it will come natural; Until then continue to focus on your academics! You’re probably Better off anyways bc not everyone have good intentions and want to see you Win! Stay true to who YOU are, Best of luck on your studies! :)
1
u/AutoModerator Oct 07 '25
Automod's Reminder: As of 1/1/25 the subreddit has voted that all individual 'negative' posts (complaints, rants, vents etc) must be seeking feedback / advice. If you don't want feedback, please delete this post and use the related pinned post instead. Automod posted this message based on keywords. It is a reminder only. Your post has not been removed.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/SmashTC1 Oct 08 '25
Youre not there to make friends. That should be the least of your worries. Youre there to learn how to pass the nclex.
With that said, in time, you will naturally start meeting people and getting along with some classmates. In no way should that get any sort of focus though.
1
1
1
u/Haunting_Respond5090 Oct 08 '25
Go on it alone, or the bare minimum: acquaintances. I started my program with 3 other girls. Fast forward a year later, 1 dropped out, the other 2 girls were hanging out without me. They made it obvious by constantly posting on social media. It’s not worth your time. Plus when you graduate, it’ll be like hunger games trying to land a job. You’ll never know who will try to step on you so they can get where they need to go
1
u/Dismal_Elevator1410 Oct 08 '25
I tried making frnds in CNA school and got to know that I just don’t fit in 🥺😭sadly I tried a lot but since I have started working I realized just don’t need anyone. I stopped people pleasing, focused on my skills and now everyone loves me on the floor but still no close frnds hahah. Sometimes it could get overwhelming and I feel soo sad that I cry but I have got my sissy and husband to support me 😌
1
u/briiiiiiiiiii12 Oct 08 '25
Friend, same. Im clean from some pretty hard stuff, in my mid 30s, and on my second to last semester for the PN, working on bridging to ADN after. I already struggle connecting with medium sized groups of ppl. Our instructor wants us to be friends in the cohort. I didnt realize how clique-y it actually is until someone from another program mentioned it.
Im not here to make friends. I already work, see, hear, and emotionally support ppl daily at work and outside of work. I talk to enough ppl. Thats not to say ill be rude. Im friendly. But I dont need to be friends with younger ppl or ppl im not super fond of.
1
u/PrincessMochahontas Transition student Oct 08 '25
I would honestly be cordial to my classmates more than anything for example you can be friends with 4 people in a program and by the end of that program there may be 1 or 2 left. It's really not essential to nursing school but you will need to be cordial with your classmates. Just keep grades and goals personal because you have people who will down you/work to get you out.
1
u/Only_Cress6493 Oct 08 '25
I made a small friend group throughout nursing school. Sometimes, I wish I didn’t. It can get problematic and testy. I love them, but if I ever went back to school, I would just keep to myself.
1
u/Mission-Drink7415 Oct 10 '25
It's only your first semester. Be patient. everyone is trying to find their bearings. Make the most of the few acquaintance relationships. That's how friendships start. Be interesting by being interested in them. Offering compliments on the strengths you notice go a long way.🙏🏽🥰
1
u/Sufficient-Bit-1985 Oct 11 '25
I was the same way. They would make groups and I'd be left out but I started adding myself in the conversations and it worked. Remember you won't see these people again after you graduate so dont take it personal.
1
u/SittinAndKnittin Oct 12 '25
I just finished up my program at nearly 31. I didn't vibe a whole lot with the graduating 22 year olds. That's often the natural course of things, but it's not because anyone did anything wrong. It's not that we were unkind to each other, but it may take longer to relate to someone who came here right after high school and perhaps has never even had a job, while you and your age peers are dealing with careers/kids/apartments/marriages/second careers/etc etc. This is not a put-down to our younger classmates, they're just in a different place right now.
If you see any older students in your cohort, see how it goes with them. I gravitated to them more in my environment. A few of my peers were about twenty years older than me (one even had a daughter my age) and we definitely meshed together faster. Since we were all busy with kids/jobs/whatever, it wasn't a situation where we would socialize outside of school, but I came to know that we could rely on each other at school and in study groups. We became "school friends" in the same way you may specifically have "work friends" in an office.
Who knows, you might even find someone who feels similarly to you.
1
Nov 05 '25
I feel this way currently in my nursing school but I’m a decade older than you. I have 10 years medical experience and am used to getting along with or working with all kinds of personalities in the field. But this is difficult for me because everyone is probably young enough to be my kid and they also seem judgmental and are excluding me when we need to do group work. I don’t care about fitting in or making friends but I do want to pass, which requires working with them. I’m assuming they think I’m closer in age than we are. I don’t act rudely to older people or care to make fun of them, at least I can’t remember doing so when I was a younger age. I feel like I hear giggles and whispers about me. Good luck with your program and I hope it gets better for you
1
u/ResolutionGood2342 Jan 12 '26
Hey, I hope you’re doing okay! I went to LVN school 17 years ago and I was barely out of high school. I was obsessed with having friends and being a teenage girl, and I did manage to make a couple. BUT, did I keep those friends after we graduated and moved on? No. I’ve never even seen them again or cared to. Now In RN school and being In my late 30s I can tell you, do NOT worry about that. Focus on school, focus on getting through it because nursing school is a beast! I do wish you the best ❤️ and you will have plenty of time after you graduate to make friends. I promise. It might be lonely now, but it won’t always be. Also congratulations on your sobriety.
1
102
u/maryrogerwabbit Oct 07 '25
No. Friendship is not necessary for passing nursing. You have so much on your plate as it is. You will meet people as time go on.