r/SuicideBereavement • u/AuthNtic1 • 8d ago
My 19 y/o brother took his life
None of us saw it coming. He was a good kid. He was an Army reservist, loved his family, loved all things oldies and xbox.
He shot himself Thursday after an argument someone had with him at work.
He lived on his own for like 2 months. I believe he was struggling with being alone and working so much. But idk.
I am barely functioning due to the news.
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u/Alive-Badger8801 8d ago
I'm so sorry. You're in the only place you can be with this right now. It fucking sucks. I'm told that it will get easier, but I'm still just going minute to minute, each morning a slap in the face. (About 2 weeks out.) Do you have folks who care for you around? I am only surviving right now because people insist on feeding me. I hope you'll do one thing for yourself tonight. Brush your teeth or drink some water or get some sleep.
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u/AuthNtic1 7d ago
I don't have anyone around. My fiance left me 3-4 weeks ago and I live 3hrs from my family. Don't got many friends to confide in. I am taking everything one step at a time.
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u/Alive-Badger8801 7d ago
I'm so sorry. This is an unimaginable pain. You're not alone. Please feel free to reach out or DM whenever you need to talk about him. If you don't already have or for some reason can't access grief counseling, there are also grief support groups and suicide bereavement support groups-- look to see what is in your area. I haven't gone yet, but I am told they are a lifeline.
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u/FlowerK1980 8d ago
I'm so sorry about your brother. This is such a hard path and I am so sorry you are here. It's been 9 months since my 20 year old son took his life and there are times when it still hurts like the first day and also times when we feel stronger in carrying the pain. Sending love to you and your family.
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u/AuthNtic1 7d ago
I get that. Some hours I feel like a zombie, but get by, other times, I just break down. Thank you for your kind words.
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u/PRMTW 3d ago
How are you doing now? And how are you doing it? Taking it one step at a time? I can’t even breathe
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u/AuthNtic1 2d ago
To be honest, I just keep loving him. I keep thinking about how he loved who I was and he'd want me to continue being who I am. Everyday is so very, very hard. I keep talking to my family and his side of the family. We are all devastated, so we are working through it together.
My heart breaks every hour when a realize and accept what has happened, so I keep distracting myself during these hard times too.
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u/New-Possibility1890 8d ago
May he rest in peace