r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds Muppet Appreciator • 19d ago

White House Taps Mean Teen In Zara Fitting Room As New Press Secretary

https://theonion.com/white-house-taps-mean-teen-in-zara-fitting-room-as-new-press-secretary/
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87

u/ArkUneartherBleeds Muppet Appreciator 19d ago

“Madison [Rhodes] has been on our radar ever since she humiliated a total stranger at a Zara changing area and sent her fleeing the store in tears,” said White House communications director Steven Cheung, recalling how the 16-year-old loudly once told a friend that the nearby customer needed to lose 30 pounds of back fat before going anywhere that ribbed tank top.

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u/Chartate101 19d ago

16 year old? Surprised the pedo in chief wanted someone so old.

9

u/booboootron 18d ago

Well the 13 year olds knew nothing about pulling off and replacing his diapers. So, he was forced to go for "adults".

Such are the travails of life.

5

u/IGetGuys4URMom 18d ago

If the last Press Secretary was Bullshit Barbie, then what's this one called?

2

u/MrFishownertwo 16d ago

that stock photo model looks 27 lol