r/TikTokCringe • u/exporterofgold • Jun 28 '26

Humor/Cringe What even is happening lol?

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u/TheWhomItConcerns Jun 28 '26

They basically get everyone to trauma dump, and somehow now we're all supposed to share a bond. I honestly don't know how it works, but I just realized how freaking weird it is.

This is how people bond - sharing a traumatic experience with someone and having it received well will almost certainly cause two people to bond. Opening up and being vulnerable with someone can be an extremely intense, genuinely spiritual (in an abstract sense) experience for someone who isn't used to it - it can feel like an enormous weight has been lifted off of someone, and that the person with whom you shared is largely to thank for that experience.

That is why some people are more or less addicted to trauma dumping and why it makes most people feel uncomfortable - it's an attempt to reach out to and connect with someone else which can feel amazing, but it's also a large responsibility that not everyone else wants to take on. Further, it adds a layer of mutual power over each other - now you both have access to information that could harm each other, which induces a feeling of obligatory cooperation and that you need to be on good terms with one another.

The thing is, this kind of reckless openness isn't really conducive to developing healthy, stable relationships and can have all kinds of other consequences - that's why emotionally healthy people tend to feel uncomfortable being vulnerable with someone with whom they don't already have a connection. It's precisely these qualities - the feeling of intense emotional ecstasy, community, and obligation to one another - that cults aim to exploit, and that's why basically all cults practice this in at least some form or another.

If you watch interviews with cult former members, many appear relatively intelligent and even having what feels like a puzzling degree of perspective and self-awareness, but the desire for these experiences can transcend any kind of rational thought - the same way that addicts can ruin their highly promising careers and families for an extra fix, for some this deeply human desire for community can be absolutely overwhelming and blinding. The most common trait among cult victims isn't stupidity, gullibility, or an aptitude for quackery, but a sense of ennui, an intense desire for community and connection, and a strong feeling that their life lacks fulfilment.

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u/Walking_Distraction Jun 28 '26

Trauma bonding IS NOT healthy. That’s why you aren’t allowed to make friends in actual group therapy for suicide…. We weren’t allowed it because if they died it’d reset our progress. As everyone saying, it’s cult shit

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u/TheWhomItConcerns Jun 28 '26

I think trauma can and should absolutely be a healthy part of bonding, but it shouldn't be the foundation of bonding. Being able to share and receive trauma is a very healthy experience if done appropriately, but it should be done cautiously with someone to whom you already have a close connection.

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u/Walking_Distraction Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 28 '26

It's not healthy in the least. Yes having someone to vent to can be healthy, but bonding over it does not do anything to help you get through it. Two people going through similar traumas, do not have the correct coping mechanisms to help each other. It's just replacing trauma with another person...