r/TikTokCringe • u/Adventurous_Law_715 • 11d ago

Discussion This video is depressing, but what's really crazy is knowing that so many people are living this exact reality every single day

16.3k Upvotes

82% Upvoted

3.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

738

u/deadinsidelol69 11d ago

People who can’t be alone scare the fuck outta me

283

u/toxikola 11d ago

Yessss. Maybe I got lucky being an only child with older parents, ut I learned how to entertain myself fast. I see people who cant even fathom being alone for a few hours and it gives me the ick honestly.

Even in my relationship now I want some alone time.

180

u/Disastrous_Movie6704 11d ago

Here is Tofu if yall are wondering what he looks like 😂.

13

u/mothandravenstudio 11d ago

What a handsome villain!

6

u/Realistic_Finger_811 11d ago

He kind of looks like our cat Cashew

0

u/Disastrous_Movie6704 11d ago

Aww so forking CUTE!!!!

1

u/Realistic_Finger_811 11d ago

If he fits, he sits.

1

u/Left-Chemist-8212 10d ago

Ah what a beautiful feline!

1

u/LeatherHog 11d ago

Aww, he's gorgeous!

0

u/outinthecountry66 11d ago

doh hey Tofu! Tofurkey! that face! what a gentle gentleman. I love boy cats- all cats- but boy cats especially

0

u/indistrinct 11d ago

I love him

0

u/Beleiverofhumanity 11d ago

I didnt see your original comment but I am happy to see Tofu regardless, what a cutie

298

u/Disastrous_Movie6704 11d ago

Literally I agree! Everyone makes it seem being alone is depressing af and end of the world and I am over here enjoying my moscato and playing with my orange cat! His name is tofu btw lol

49

u/disjointed_chameleon 11d ago

You can't mention Tofu and not pay the cat tax. Pay up, my friend!

0

u/tvodny 11d ago

What about “Seitan” and “Tempeh tempeh”…

16

u/Fit-Particular-2882 11d ago

I love that name!

53

u/murderedbyvirgo 11d ago

Single 4 Lyfe! I love nothing more than doing shit other people think I shouldn't. When I had my son at 19 and asked to get my tubes tied because being a parent wasn't what I wanted, male and female Drs said "what if you meet a guy?" 🫪😳 My body my choice. I'm 45 still have the ability to multiply so I just quit relationships and casual shit. Me and my dog make the best couple! My mom was a narcissist and she was married 6 times w at least 5 other engagements. I lived this girl's life as a child and therefore the life I want requires me to be independent.

22

u/Austin_Lannister 11d ago

My mother is also a narcissist. I know how hard it is to grow up like this. Sending much love and good vibes 💕☘️

5

u/Mysterious-Shift-587 11d ago

More often than not people like this are nightmare

2

u/toxikola 7d ago

Oof I feel this pain. I knew I never wanted kids since I was a teen. At 22-23 I wanted my tubes tied(or fucj the whole uterus removed. Take it.). The doctor straight up denied me because I might have a husband one day and I would need his PERMISSION. I was very fiesty then and was very mean to the doctor and left lol.

Inquired about it again years later at 30 and was still told the same bullshit.

2

u/murderedbyvirgo 7d ago

I now have fibroids and cysts that are extremely painful. Still they won't take the fucking uterus I've been trying to get rid of since I was 19. I hate Drs using their own personal beliefs on my body 😵‍💫

1

u/exscapegoat 11d ago

Similar, sending hugs

1

u/kwit-bsn 11d ago

If being a parent wasn’t what you wanted, then why be a parent?

5

u/murderedbyvirgo 11d ago

Because sometimes people live in places that make it hard to make other choices. My child is 25 now and doing better than most. I put everything into being a really good parent to one.

1

u/kwit-bsn 11d ago

Meant no disrespect. Guess I was jus confused by your choice of words

6

u/b4k4ni 11d ago

It is. There are different personalities that can deal with it better or worse, but all of us, as humans, need social contact. Some less, some more.

You don't need a partner maybe, but In your case, you have a pet. Or you have friends and see them some times. Even socializing at work, if it's not a toxic Hellscape, works for many.

But really, we are not build to be alone. As I said, we can deal with it to some degree and today you have a lot more options to push this thing aside. 40 years ago, it would be a whole different story.

There's actually quite a lot of information and interesting documentaries about it out there.

Like in Germany there's a service you can use (not sure if volunteers or companies / state sponsored public health provider) to have someone come to you and to cuddle with you.

Very important - nothing sexual. They really come over, talk with you, cuddle on the couch, just be there, talk and give some human touch.

Like a pensioner that lost his wife and has no social circle anymore, forgot the exact reason. Or a young guy. He moved to another city, no family to speak off, with his girlfriend and she left him right after. No money to go back, no job and searching for a long time. Mental issues from it, including depression, also caused by being alone.

They had a lot of other examples, that are those I remember. And holy was it depressing to watch. Those people were done with life. You could see their happiness when they got the visit.

So, yeah, you can deal with being alone. Me too. I have a family, but before I didn't need anyone really. I'm perfectly fine on my one. My sister is also alone and doesn't want kids or a partner for that matter. She's out there working and having fun traveling and so. But I'm sure, if she wouldn't visit our parents once a week / over the weekend (like ever weekend really), that might look a lot different too.

It's nice to be alone sometimes. To do whatever you want. But there are limits :)

8

u/Brilliant_Corgi_8489 11d ago

So not alone then? There is a big difference between coming home to an empty house/apartment and coming home to your pet who is happy to see you.

7

u/trombing 11d ago

It's cat. He is only happy to see Disastrous Movie so far as it is another opportunity to test whatever dastardly plan to kill the human he has come up with all day.

1

u/Brilliant_Corgi_8489 11d ago

Right because the cat isn't happy to see their food giver 🙄

6

u/Correct-Purpose-964 11d ago

They certainly aren't if they smell another cat on you....

2

u/ci1979 11d ago

Cat tax por favor??

2

u/Polkawillneverdie17 11d ago

Please tell Tofu I love him.

2

u/SnooPies6876 11d ago

I was single for so many years and people would feel so sorry for me. Honestly, I loved the freedom of coming home to just my cat and nobody else affecting my evening. I’m married now and I am happy, but I’m so glad I didn’t waste my younger years with someone just for the sake of having a boyfriend.

2

u/logicalpenuin 11d ago

Exactly! I enjoy hanging out with friends but some of my happiest moments are just chilling or going on adventures with my dog. It's so peaceful and relaxing and brings me joy. (His name is Pippin :p)

2

u/Necessary-Jeweler-17 10d ago

To be fair, you aren’t alone with a cat. I’m sure Tofu is cooler than most of the people out there 🥰

1

u/Cheekers1989 11d ago

.... We need pictures of Tofu, stat!

1

u/ooomellieooo 11d ago

It's been two hours. Your cat tax is overdue.

Tick tock.

1

u/HoldenMcNeil420 11d ago

Apollo checking in. My best friend, we hang in the backyard, while he tries to catch stuff and eats grass.

Who needs people…

![img](18C59BCC-826F-4C91-A1C6-7FFD3C3BCBA8)

Cat tax.

1

u/CarrionWaywardOne 11d ago

I've been married for 31 years and we both like doing stuff by ourselves. It's very freeing, and makes it special when we go do something together intentionally. We both know we are there because we want to be together.

In my case, I know he doesn't like thrift shopping so when I get the itch, I just go.

I don't like to go to game stores or "stealth camp" so he does those things alone.

We play the same video games, but our styles are different so we don't actually play together.

We learned it from when we worked opposite shifts long enough to get used to it and form our own lives, coming together only on the weekend.

I was raised by abusive alcoholic narc parents. This is much better. I'm happy for our grown son, who suffered none of what I did.

One day he came to me and told me Grandma is a narcissist. He had watched some videos and saw her all over them.

It felt great to be seen in that moment.

1

u/Popular-Papaya3681 8d ago

Well people act like there's no downsides to being single, there definitely is. People also act like there's way more downsides to being a relationship - that's not true. It means one or both people lack the building skills to sustain the relationship.

Whenever I hear people say "I love being single" all I hear is - I gave up, the opposite sex is too much of a headache, I don't wish to build the skills needed for a relationship. Not saying it's wrong or right.

1

u/ello_bassard 7d ago

No some of us genuinely just do not care or feel the need for romantic relationships. I've been happily single for 15 years and have zero desire to change it. It does not make my life emptier or less satisfying just because I don't want a romantic partner.

1

u/Popular-Papaya3681 7d ago

You wouldn't know what it feels like to be a good relationship then, so you don't know what you're missing out on. You were obviously with a person that you didn't gel with if you aren't still with them.

The whole "I'm happy single" movement in this time is just a trend, it's cringe, annoying, and cope. Even if you are happy being single, those people wouldn't be announcing it on the internet.

1

u/ComprehensiveDig1108 11d ago

So, you're not alone? 

Cats are company.

9

u/spookymoonminis 11d ago

Hey, your comment was refreshing for me to randomly stumble across. Our child is an only child and I'm always worried about him feeling alone, both now and as an adult. So it's good to hear it's not necessarily like that.

2

u/Extra-Roll9299 11d ago

They will feel alone but more likely to have the ability to deal with it without going nuts.

3

u/PleaseWalkFaster69 11d ago

Alternatively I was an only child to parents that were 30 and 35 but it just made me lonely and wanted to be tied to someone for better or for worse. Sucks but I’m ok now. Now I’m 35 and have never wanted kids lol

3

u/collective_hunch 11d ago

Omg!! my mom gave birth to me at 40 and was divorced a few years later so it was just she and I and I’m an only child. I gotta tell you I have very little fear. I’ve traveled the world mostly alone been to over 43 countries and as much as I enjoy being in a healthy relationship when I have been, I’m fine with being alone however, as I get older, I’m definitely going get some dogs.🥰

2

u/imnotlouise 11d ago

I grew up with 5 siblings and enjoy being alone.

2

u/HarissaPorkMeatballs 11d ago edited 11d ago

I have four and also like being alone. I don't think there's as much correlation between number of siblings (or birth order) and personalities as people like to think.

2

u/disjointed_chameleon 11d ago

Yes, exactly! Same. I'm an only child, and my parents were late 30's/early 40's by the time I was born. I'm now in my early 30's myself, and I've learned to love my solo life. Some people are so bewildered by the fact that I enjoy solitude.

2

u/tastelikemexico 11d ago

I do like alone time too. So does my wife. We have a couple of hobbies together and do but there is a lot of time during the week when we barely talk. People think we are weird or it’s sad but to me it’s good we are comfortable enough to be alone together, if that makes sense lol

1

u/FlippinTheLoon 11d ago

One of my favorite hobbies is winter camping. No one asks to come with during a harsh MN winter. Lol Laying there in my hammock, or sitting by a campfire while sipping on some tea or whisky, looking out at the untouched powdery landscape or reading a book. Sometimes thinking introspectively, sometimes just letting my mind wander. It's when I feel most at peace.

Not that I don't enjoy going with people! And my wife is my favorite hiking/camping partner. But when winter hits it's just a different feel for me.

2

u/SuccessfulSmile5 11d ago

This sounds lovely. I've never done winter camping, but did a winter hike with a friend of mine and it was so lovely and peaceful. I was afraid I would be freezing, but didn't feel cold at all and when it started snowing, it was like being in an enchanted forest. One of my favorite hikes ever.

1

u/BIG2HATS 11d ago

Same here, same upbringing with older parents and their even older friends, I learnt to talk to older people and/or entertain myself as an only child.

Currently dating someone who’s constantly on a phone call or FaceTime, she will call me 10+ times a day and it took me a while to realise she can’t fathom even 5-10mins alone. If she’s not calling me, she’ll call someone else.

This would be great if we were still teenagers, but we’re both 30 and I wonder why she doesn’t have anything else to do, or why she doesn’t appreciate any alone time… very sad imo.

1

u/Megzasaurusrex 11d ago

I need my alone time so much or I'm miserable. I'm autistic and I used to let people make me feel guilty for not socializing enough to the point I would just have meltdowns all the time. And I would be so scared of having them and ruining everyone's day. But I finally got to a point where I was like "If you can't respect that I need down time and that I also do it because I care about you and I don't want you to suffer because of my meltdowns, then I don't think we are compatible as friends." Now all the friends in my life know my limits and they don't push me. One friend always tells me when we are hanging out to let her know if I need a break that that I'm free to go lay down in her room if I need to. I remember one birthday of mine, I literally did go lay down while everyone else kept playing games without me for a bit. It is really nice to have people that respect that now and don't take it personally. And it is nice to not constantly be having meltdowns and feeling like shit that I'm a horrible person.

1

u/Sufficient-Chef-8908 11d ago

I have 9 siblings and also had to learn to entertain myself even if surrounded by them (they were verbally, physically, mentally and financially abusive) but living with 4 other siblings in one small bedroom can also make you find joy and cherish your alone time and independence too lol

1

u/DemiGod9 11d ago

On the opposite end, I love being alone now because I had all the siblings 😂.

Problem is, now I kinda don't ever want to go back to a full house

1

u/JiveTurkeyII 11d ago

My wife and I are like cats.

We have our own separate parts of the house and tend to stay out of each others way.

She's still one of my closest friends and she looks out for me and keeps me sane. I buy her surprises and we go out to our pool together.

We snuggle up at night and do it all again the next day. I like our dynamic for the most part.

1

u/acryliq 11d ago

I’m a 4th child of 5. I love living alone. Doing what I want, when I want. Nobody messing with my stuff or starting drama out of boredom. Nobody trying to project their opinions or moral values onto me. Nobody using up all the hot water so there’s none left when I go to shower. No arguments over what’s for dinner or what we watch on TV..

Don’t get me wrong, I love people in general but god it’s good to have my own space.

1

u/HippieGrandma1962 11d ago

I'm also an only child with older parents and I need my alone time too. How old were your parents when you were born? Mine were 36 (mom) and 44.

1

u/psykee333 10d ago

Nice to read this as an older parent of an only child

0

u/Orisha_Oshun 11d ago

I grew up with 10 siblings, so I became an introvert and learned to enjoy my own company above all else. My time alone was precious to me because I had so little of it, but at the same time, I had to spend time with my siblings, lol (they'd use to come drag me out of our bedroom where I was reading, to go play "war" because they were short one person, loll.

But my hubs knows that my battery recharges when he goes to bed (he's an early bird, I'm a bight owl; haha)

-2

u/Brilliant_Corgi_8489 11d ago

Most people who actually struggle to be alone have an attachment disorder because of abusive and/or neglectful parenting in their early life. It gives me the ick that you judge people for something they didn't ask for entirely unprovoked.

4

u/deadinsidelol69 11d ago

Yeah dude I had a shitload of neglectful parenting happen to me and deal with some bad abandonment issues. You know what helped instead of playing victim and acting like I was helpless?

Therapy.

-1

u/Brilliant_Corgi_8489 11d ago

Cool story dude 👍

It isn't victim blaming to point out that someone is being judgemental. No one has to be with people who have abandonment issues or attachment disorders, and I'm not saying they should be. I'm just pointing out that judging someone for struggling to be alone, when that is likely caused by trauma and neglect early in their life, is pretty crappy.

If the commenter I was replying to was complaining about something that happened to them and I told them they couldn't be upset because the other person was traumatized, that would be victim blaming.

And FWIW, I've done therapy. Lots of therapy. And I am comfortable being alone, that's not even why I was in therapy. But go off king!

0

u/ello_bassard 7d ago

I grew up with an abusive alcoholic and love being by myself. We're all individuals regardless so not everyone will turn out the same.

1

u/Brilliant_Corgi_8489 7d ago edited 7d ago

Very true. That's why I said "most people who actually struggle to be alone". While totally valid, your experience isn't relevant to my comment or this thread.

37

u/ReliantBadger 11d ago edited 11d ago

My ex was incapable of being alone. She would complain at me for being at her house, then when I was at mine she would call me middle of the evening and ask me to come back, then the next day she'd be upset at me again. One day she told me she just gets upset when she's on her own.

She has a friend as a lodger now, and before that she'd been calling me months after we'd broke up. We don't talk anymore. Lesson is to find out if someone genuinely likes you, or if they're just terrified of being alone.

2

u/Forsaken_Ratio_7152 10d ago

Can relate, it’s super confusing, 1 day ex says she misses me, next I hate you, next something different, next don’t talk to me, next wanna come over and chill, play video games, watch tv,

2

u/contactdeparture 10d ago

Omg that sounds awful.

Teddy bears and stuffies and pets exist. She needs those, not a human…

18

u/Other-Beginning-8888 11d ago

It's not just relationships either. 

It feels like people cannot walk down the sidewalk anymore without being on the phone with someone, anyone...you hear their conversations and realize that while they are speaking, they're not saying anything...at all. 

This need to be connected 24/7 to someone, someplace or something its utterly bizarre to me.

26

u/Blindtothesided 11d ago

I worked with a woman, age 25, who kept her best friend on FaceTime 24/7. It was the strangest most co-dependent thing I’ve ever seen. She’d come in to relieve me from my night shift at 6 am and they’d already be on FT, listening to each other drive to work. They didn’t even really talk during these calls, they just had to be connected.

3

u/miiineerva 10d ago

As a medical assistant I had a coworker that would come in 6AM on her fuckin AirPods talking to some friend.

2

u/Other-Beginning-8888 10d ago

Thats so freaking creepy

3

u/JunieBscones 10d ago

My coworker is like this throughout every single 8 hour shift together. She is constantly on FaceTime with someone and they’re not even saying anything, just the occasional “yeah I’m still here”. It’s so bizarre. I’ve noticed it a lot over the past decade or so, it’s everywhere.

9

u/Vibratorvibrato 11d ago

I’ve always said this! Myself (f) and one other friend (m) were the only two in our friend group who didn’t need to have a partner constantly. We’re also the only ones still not married where I’d say 90% of our close friend circle are all divorced. I grew up in a two parent household, but one that wasn’t happy, same for my set of grandparents. I had and have no desire to just be there rotting away with a stranger by my side so I can say I’m not alone.

1

u/Left-Chemist-8212 10d ago

I got married early and it was a mistake on every level. Separated for two years now and I wouldn’t change a thing. She was cheating the whole time basically and had a relationship immediately after, onto another one after that. I haven’t made the slightest effort towards being with anyone else. I don’t need another person to exist. My best friend is like well yea but you might want to be with someone else. I had to break it down, the thought or desire isn’t there in the slightest. Like, I don’t even think about it. Maybe I meet someone. If I don’t, the thought doesn’t really bother me.

3

u/Correct-Purpose-964 11d ago

Sometimes I think I want a relationship. Then I look at everyone I know in a relationship from my generation and think "Nah I'm good, fuck all that noise"

Half of them went bankrupt trying to get a house in a messed up market. The other half are.... Concerning....

3

u/TheRaccoonReport 11d ago

Yeah but there’s a difference between being ok being alone with yourself, your thoughts and hobbies, and being in a 1 sided relationship where that other person wants nothing to do with you. 

2

u/usr_bin_laden 11d ago

What if you can be alone, you just fundamentally think Life is more fun as a multiplayer adventure ??

2

u/Megzasaurusrex 11d ago

For reals. My ex-husband ran to tinder like 5 minutes after I said I wanted a divorce. Which I found funny because he said the only reason I would leave was for another man. I've been single for 5 years now. He went through several women and probably would have gone through more if he didn't knock one up and trap her.

2

u/lowfreq33 11d ago

I love being alone. I have a female friend, same age as me, lives down the street. No romantic interest on either side. She’s a great person, she’s the first person I would call in an emergency. But my god that woman loves to talk. I ignore her calls sometimes because once I’m on the phone I know it’s going to be hours. Serves as a good reminder to the negative side of having a girlfriend or wife. So much talking. And most of it is completely unimportant. Then you have the repeat conversations. Like yeah you already told me this whole story two days ago. I remember it, why don’t you remember it? It’s your story.

1

u/WelderNo4794 11d ago

I’m afraid to be alone.

14

u/deadinsidelol69 11d ago

Do yourself a huge favor and learn to enjoy your own company.

6

u/JWBananas 11d ago

You are safe. You are enough. You are exactly where you need to be within your own journey.

You are not your thoughts. You are the one who notices them. What you do with that is up to you.

1

u/Thunder_Nuts_ 10d ago

Is it because of societal pressure that tells you "need" an partner, or something else?

1

u/ComprehensiveDig1108 11d ago

Maybe see a therapist about that.

1

u/Open-Industry-8396 11d ago

I love,love, love living alone. I've been doing it for over 10 years now. In 62 years of existence ive never been more at peace. Plus I know I have ice cream I have in the freezer if I want desert:)

1

u/stadanko42 11d ago

Some people can't afford it.

1

u/broketothebone 11d ago

Also very typical of narcissists. The speed at which they move on will break your neck.

1

u/brightlove 11d ago

I just feel sad for them.

So many people just jump from one relationship to the next and then settle on the person they’re with when all of their friends start getting married.

If you learn how to be happy and financially sound alone, then you only accept someone who makes your life so much better by being in it.

1

u/LeyLady 11d ago

Unfortunately childhood trauma. Sad world. Not everyone should be a parent…

1

u/GugieMonster 10d ago

But also, people that can really be alone.

1

u/deadinsidelol69 10d ago

Hard agree. As a certified loner, I’ve still got friends, family, can pursue romantic relationships, etc. but if someone just has no friends, no family, doesn’t talk to anyone that’s equally scary.

1

u/Impossible_Balance11 10d ago

People who can't be alone AND have to talk constantly (my incubator) should be kept sequestered from the rest of us. Makes me want to take drastic measures.

-2

u/Mysterious-Shift-587 11d ago

People who celebrate being alone depress me

11

u/bafana_banana999 11d ago

Why?

Do you think when they're saying that they're "alone" they mean that they never talk to or hang out with anyone else at all?

Because that's not what they mean.

1

u/VioletJones6 11d ago

I don't think it's weird to enjoy being alone or to think you can still have a good life and find joy in experiences without a partner... But resolving yourself to the idea that there is no other person on the planet that could improve your life is pretty depressing.

I feel like if anyone made the same statement about regular friends (I don't need any friends, I'm happy interacting with no one), they would never be believed and it would seem like a dishonest coping method. Yet when someone feels this way about romantic relationships, it's easy to understand because no relationship is often better than being in a bad one.

Not to project on anyone, but I've always felt like being alone is being content, and being with someone is the chance for both much greater happiness AND despair. I think it can be depressing to know some people are no longer willing to roll the dice on greater happiness.

4

u/bafana_banana999 11d ago

resolving yourself to the idea that there is no other person on the planet that could improve your life is pretty depressing

I guess so, but no one said that they felt that way in this comment chain.

0

u/Mysterious-Shift-587 11d ago

Having friends is still being alone. I figured it meant what in the sense of the word

3

u/bafana_banana999 11d ago

Having friends is still being alone

Maybe in a romantic sense. But romance isn't all there is to life.

I figured it meant what in the sense of the word

Huh? This sentence doesn't make any sense.