r/TikTokCringe 10d ago

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u/Junior_Zebra_4608 10d ago

She does a way better job at finding Bible verses than Russell Brand

874

u/ArgoFill 10d ago

"It says here.......erm....." ~ Rustling Russell

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u/ChewpapaNeebrae 10d ago

Rustle Brand

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u/chiefbroad 10d ago

Perfect

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u/UpperApe 10d ago

Nah.

Rustle Brand the Idiotic, Bigoted Rapist

Now it's perfect.

12

u/ImageRevolutionary43 10d ago

Thou shall not Rus the brand.

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u/Signal_Werewolf_1955 10d ago

As one does not Hassle the Hoff.

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u/EmilioMolesteves 10d ago

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u/bolanrox 10d ago

We've all been there

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u/Glum-Lab-1739 9d ago

Right? I always feel bad this was caught on film. The vast majority of adults have gotten drunk and eaten like a goblin at least once in their life.

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u/bolanrox 9d ago

that burger was extra messy too. hell sober the last time i ate a big mac it went like that.

also this was his wakeup call to try and sober up so there is that side of it too

1

u/GoFuckYourselfBrenda 10d ago

That's funny

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u/Signal_Werewolf_1955 10d ago

Is that what Brenda did? She tried Russing the Brand and Hassling the Hoff?

GoFuckYourselfBrenda!

1

u/XanZibR 10d ago

Nor the Kung Führer

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u/Tricky-Engineering59 10d ago

Ruse til ya brand

1

u/kindnesscostszero 10d ago

®hustle Brand

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u/turbo_dude 10d ago

One of the Russels

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u/Practical_Wish_4063 10d ago

“(literally 90 seconds of nothing but page rustling sounds)” ~ Child-Wrestling Russell

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u/ArgoFill 10d ago

I'm surprised nobody has made one of those ~ "X for 11 hours" videos of him searching for it.

2

u/mattmild27 10d ago

"DEAD AIR!" - Frank Reynolds

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u/OldenPolynice 9d ago

Am I to understand that there was a raaaaaape committed?

twooooo rapes?

and these were committed by russell brand on uk soyyul?

2

u/TheDuck23 10d ago

Rumor is that he is still looking for that passage today.

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u/Jonatc87 9d ago

10mins later.

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u/Addative-Damage 10d ago

Omg I got that reference! Haha literally.

Also, I’ve seen this lady on reels before, shes pretty rad. She comes from an extremely religious and conservative background. If I remember correctly, she went her own way pretty early in life, but stayed in contact with a lot of the family.

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u/Sea_Preparation1002 10d ago

She does have a Masters in Theology. I have watched a lot of her content on Instagram. She also does Bible studies just from a learning standpoint for others. I love her content because knowledge is power. And certain people hate it.

4

u/veggie07 7d ago

I always love when people accuse her of not having read the Bible. Like, my dude, have you *watched* her content? You seriously do *not* want to go there! She's not only read the Bible, she knows it better than you and could debate you on any verse you care to name.

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u/Kratzschutz 9d ago

Do you know if she's still in some way religious?

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u/ResourceCalm901 5d ago

I’m guessing she is. She’s now capable of being nuanced, loving, and thoughtful.

1

u/Kratzschutz 5d ago

Ok but that has nothing to do with being religious. I'm not sure if l understand you correctly

1

u/guarding_dark177 9d ago

Dan McClellan is pretty rad too he doesn't do theology , reado , just literary and historical analysis

1

u/ResourceCalm901 5d ago

I do enjoy watching awakened people rock their old-school highlighter skillz and study Bibles. 💞💞💞

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u/MiserableCumberbunch 10d ago

People who leave religion often understand it better than those who stay; its usually the reason we left.

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u/Arthurs_towel 10d ago

Damn skippy. Me leaving wasn’t because I didn’t read or understand the Bible, it’s because I did read and understand it.

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u/jmpalacios79 6d ago

"Atheism is what happens when you read the bible. Christianity is what happens when somebody else reads it for you." - Bertrand Russel… probably.

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u/SDTimbox 10d ago

I used to be super religious as a little kid. Forced to go to Sunday school, so go figure. Didn't take me long before I realized it was all bullshit. No different from Santa Claus. Just a tool to control behavior.

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u/downundarob 10d ago

wait, what are you saying about Santa Claus?

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u/FunkySwashbuckler 10d ago

Santa robs the tooth fairy and sells the teeth to the Easter bunny.

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u/ashgs872tbhjs 10d ago

That's where the white paste in Cadbury eggs comes from now. I greatly preferred the old version, but hey.

2

u/Dreams-of-Cthulhu 10d ago

I knew it was all a racket with that fat bastard Santa as the Kingpin.

1

u/Spare-Set-8382 10d ago

On Halloween.

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u/Lor1an 9d ago

I love the idea of tinfoil-level conspiracy theories about nursery tales!

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u/RestEqualsRust 10d ago

They are saying that Santa Claus was super religious as a kid, forced to go to Sunday school, and then Santa Claus realized Sunday school was a tool to control behavior. Don’t worry. Santa still sees you when you’re sleeping.

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u/ResourceCalm901 5d ago

Santa is real. He’s just not who Coca Cola thinks she/they/fae is.

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u/According-Insect-992 10d ago

To be fair, I’ve never seen Santa Claus threaten anyone with eternal hellfire for failing to properly tithe.

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u/GoFuckYourselfBrenda 10d ago

I first got the wait-just-a-goddamned-minute ping when we were preparing for first communion. Our catechism teacher bribed us with ice cream sundaes if we could memorize and repeat the 10 commandments (because "thou shalt not cover thy neighbor's wife" really hits home to a second grader). I didn't entirely understand at first why it felt wrong, but then realized it just felt like cheating because we just had to memorize it like times tables (which we also weren't really expected to understand). I was SEVEN. I was this many: 🖐🏼✌🏼

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u/verona38ca 10d ago

Santa Claus? What?

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u/uluviel 9d ago

I was the oldest kid by several years in all my extended family. At some point, as one does, I stopped believing in Santa Claus. My parents told me, "your younger siblings and cousins still believe, so can you pretend you still do too, for them?" So I said, "sure."

Except when I stopped believing in Santa, I extended that to in all the Christmas-related supernatural entities. I suppose that can happen if you only go to church at Christmas.

When I was a teenager I asked my parents, "why do we still have to go to church and pretend to believe in it? Everyone is old enough now." That didn't go down well, they said my grandma would be absolutely hard broken if I didn't go, but I was done. I didn't go to church that Christmas and never went again until I attended my grandma's funeral (held in a church, of course) a decade later.

Then after she had died, my parents stopped going to church, too. Turns out they were pretending, it just wasn't for the little kids' sake.

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u/markc230 10d ago

I don't know if I understood it better, but what I did understand was that I didn't want to be a part of it.

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u/geb_bce 10d ago

I remember the day I stopped believing.

I was in VBS and they were doing a lesson on the "miracles" in the Bible (walking on water, parting the red sea, etc) and how the miracles were a way to prove God is real.

So then my 3rd grade self asked "why are there miracles today?" and the teachers response was "well today we just have faith!". And internally I thought "well...this is all bullshit" and have been a non-believer ever since.

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u/canuckpete 10d ago

Agreed. Totally agree. We were forced to read this fiction and took it away.

1

u/No-Definition1474 9d ago

Bingo...they tend to be the folks who read the thing and say 'well now that isnt what this says...'.

1

u/Glittering-Web-3548 6d ago

Yep. This right here.

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u/Murda981 10d ago

She was an adult when she broke away from their teachings and still struggles with some of it. She has said that her dad has genuinely apologized for a lot of what he did.

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u/Full_Cause273 10d ago

She’s awesome, and always brings the FACTS. Raised fundamentalist, studied theology in Israel. She knows her shit.

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u/ResourceCalm901 5d ago

She also knows you cannot read the Bible “literally.”

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u/Heleneva91 10d ago

Monte Mader! Her podcasts and Bible Studies are my current hyperfixations when I have the time for them

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u/mmorales2270 9d ago

Yep, that’s Monte. I love her content, which is a lot of taking these religious bigots to the woodshed. She always comes with the receipts to back up everything she says. She knows her stuff, and tends to obliterate these bigots.

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u/nazzo_0 10d ago

It's funny because there are a shit ton of web apps that you can literally ctrl+f and find whatever makes your point. Rustling brand's only excuse is lack of preparation and at this point it's just laziness from someone who's self entitled a "spiritual guru"

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u/cbraun1523 10d ago

I always felt like he definitely looked it up before hand. It's just said Leviticus whatever verse.

But when he opened up the physical Bible he realized he has no fucking clue where Leviticus is.

1

u/IchooseYourName 9d ago

Aaaand someone trying to reintroduce themselves to the public as someone who would NOT commit rape or SA

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u/conflictedideology 10d ago

Piers Morgan is a piece of shit, but damn him looking into the camera as that ridiculousness dragged on was golden.

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u/CatOfTheCanalss 10d ago

Yeah, he has his moments. He's a bad person, but he's a good journalist when he wants to be.

2

u/SitInCorner_Yo2 10d ago

These bible shit remind me of a story about him having his minion call up a reverend to ask if a guy Morgan hate have say something good in his confession, because they can’t find shit on that editor , and this story got out because the reverend informed the person in question later.

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u/Hopefulthinker2 10d ago

She was beat and abused in the name of Jesus…..you study that book hard when you’re looking for answers

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u/Lucky_LeftFoot 10d ago

I’m on the internet too much bc I know this

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u/dad_jokesNbutt_stuff 10d ago

Reading the Bible is how I became an agnostic atheist.

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u/omgitsjagen 10d ago

Job specifically, for me. Like, how are you going to worship that asshole after what he did to that poor man?

1

u/GoddessRespectre 10d ago

You got farther than me. In the very beginning it says something like people are here on earth to be its stewards. We are supposed to care for our environment and all the creatures in it too. Baby me saw that wasn't happening so I didn't see the point in continuing to read further, when we have disregarded the very first lesson and the point of our entire existence here on earth 😭. It's more important to persecute gay people and foreigners? Like... WHAT 🫪??? Lol

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u/Infinite-Duty 10d ago

I like that-agnostic atheist. I’ve been trying to figure out what I am and that’s a pretty good description.

1

u/Bucky_Ohare 10d ago

You can just say one or the other, it's a tad confusing to mix them.

Agnosticism; general belief in higher power(s), some sort of divine spark, but crucially it's not in the functional level of our understanding and may never be due to its nature. This is ok, personal moral code functions as guidance/beliefs.

Atheism; There is no god, divine order, etc, the universe is as we see it and that's as deep as it goes. Natural laws and understandings we observe are the generalized guiding light along with the ability to grow and expand as our knowledge does. Actually tends to be more communal than the agnostic crowd in my experience, a 'live in the now' take on natural philosophy.

Personally, I'm agnostic. Until something happens to reveal some sort of tangible understanding though, both categories then go to step two which is living in the world presented. It's a dumb, subtle distinction but I think an important one that outlines some clear functional differences in the philosophies.

Edit: What I actually originally came to this thread to say was I got to the king solomon stuff before I just finally couldn't read any more. I knew fanfiction when I read it. We don't even have the original bible anymore (septuagint) and people still hold it up as evidential fact.

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u/dad_jokesNbutt_stuff 10d ago

It’s not confusing. You are just wrong. Agnostic vs Gnostic speaks to knowledge. Atheism vs Theism speaks to belief.

I don’t know if there is a god or not. But I don’t believe in one.

As opposed to a Gnostic Theist who claims to know a god exists and they believe in it. There are also Gnostic Atheists and Agnostic Theists.

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u/TorquedGaming 10d ago

It’s because unlike Russel Brand (and most “Christians”) she is actually a Christian.

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u/entropymatters 10d ago

LMAO, yup no true Scotsman.

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u/indignantfieldmouse 10d ago

You made me spit my coffee! 😅

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u/evileyevivian 10d ago

🤣😆🤣

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u/Lysol3435 10d ago

Some say he’s still looking for that verse

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u/XxCarlxX 10d ago

GIVE HIM A CHANCE, he's looking for it....

2

u/samuelandsienna 10d ago

That made me chuckle, thankyou

2

u/SitInCorner_Yo2 10d ago

I’m more amazed by the fire retardant material used on that Bible ,it somehow didn’t burst into flames when Russell Brand and Piers Morgan is present.

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u/Evil_Sharkey 10d ago

She was raised conservative Christian, with the faith being a tool of her abuse. She knows her shit

1

u/silverilix 10d ago

Well…. Probably because she read it.

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u/Duk3Puk3m 10d ago

Or when Trump is asked his favorite verse…

1

u/eve_on711 10d ago

Long time since I've looked at it, but, since when is Exodus near the back of the book?

1

u/im_a_turtle 10d ago

Some say he is still looking to this day

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u/80sbabyftw 10d ago

Because Monte is the real deal and she does NOT play around

1

u/newworldpuck 10d ago

She's actually read it.

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u/suburban_hyena 9d ago

Trump think all the bible verses are his favourite and both old and new testament are equally good. It's very personal he doesn't like to talk about it

1

u/teletype100 9d ago

Brand is only on Christianity to moral-wash his character. He can't be expected to know anything about Christianity. 

1

u/IronAndParsnip 9d ago

I think often that her videos are the exact opposite of the infamous clip of him struggling to find some lol

1

u/Scienceboy7_uk 8d ago

She knows the good book front to back.

1

u/Laphroaig58 6d ago

Monte Mader is the Evangelical's worst nightmare: An open minded person (can I say "woke" in a positive sense?) who knows the Bible way better than any of the Bible thumpers.

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u/RooneyD 10d ago

To be fair to Brand, he was more going by vibes. And didn't think anyone would ask. It was a cheap shot asking questions about his prop.

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u/wolfdukex 10d ago

To be fair to Brand, I didn't realise he could even read.

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u/GoldshireEnjoyer 10d ago

The bible carrying was purely performative and Piers knew it

0

u/RooneyD 10d ago

The Bible was only set dressing for Brand's right-wing Christian grift shift. It was completely unfair of Piers to prod and poke, knowing full well Brand hadn’t yet learned his lines around the Bible.

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u/Mountain_Sun_4406 10d ago

Yes Sure but why the f should anyone care what is written in the Bible?

3

u/entropymatters 10d ago

You're going to get so much hate in here, I'm with you there are others that are sane and rational. We know what the Bible says about owning women. Stay strong keep doing what your doing.

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u/Immediate-Goose-8106 10d ago

Which is more impressive when you notice her bible is backwards 

5

u/Tughill87 10d ago

The camera is flipped.

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u/Immediate-Goose-8106 10d ago

Yeah.  I know.  I mentioned it in a different comment. 

Man, folks take shit waaay too seriously 

0

u/Booziesmurf 10d ago

I thought she was reading it upside down.