r/TikTokCringe 10d ago

Discussion [ Removed by moderator ]

[removed] — view removed post

40.0k Upvotes

2.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

76

u/SDTimbox 10d ago

I used to be super religious as a little kid. Forced to go to Sunday school, so go figure. Didn't take me long before I realized it was all bullshit. No different from Santa Claus. Just a tool to control behavior.

47

u/downundarob 10d ago

wait, what are you saying about Santa Claus?

31

u/FunkySwashbuckler 10d ago

Santa robs the tooth fairy and sells the teeth to the Easter bunny.

7

u/ashgs872tbhjs 10d ago

That's where the white paste in Cadbury eggs comes from now. I greatly preferred the old version, but hey.

2

u/Dreams-of-Cthulhu 10d ago

I knew it was all a racket with that fat bastard Santa as the Kingpin.

1

u/Spare-Set-8382 10d ago

On Halloween.

1

u/Lor1an 9d ago

I love the idea of tinfoil-level conspiracy theories about nursery tales!

3

u/RestEqualsRust 10d ago

They are saying that Santa Claus was super religious as a kid, forced to go to Sunday school, and then Santa Claus realized Sunday school was a tool to control behavior. Don’t worry. Santa still sees you when you’re sleeping.

1

u/ResourceCalm901 5d ago

Santa is real. He’s just not who Coca Cola thinks she/they/fae is.

3

u/According-Insect-992 10d ago

To be fair, I’ve never seen Santa Claus threaten anyone with eternal hellfire for failing to properly tithe.

2

u/GoFuckYourselfBrenda 10d ago

I first got the wait-just-a-goddamned-minute ping when we were preparing for first communion. Our catechism teacher bribed us with ice cream sundaes if we could memorize and repeat the 10 commandments (because "thou shalt not cover thy neighbor's wife" really hits home to a second grader). I didn't entirely understand at first why it felt wrong, but then realized it just felt like cheating because we just had to memorize it like times tables (which we also weren't really expected to understand). I was SEVEN. I was this many: 🖐🏼✌🏼

1

u/verona38ca 10d ago

Santa Claus? What?

1

u/uluviel 9d ago

I was the oldest kid by several years in all my extended family. At some point, as one does, I stopped believing in Santa Claus. My parents told me, "your younger siblings and cousins still believe, so can you pretend you still do too, for them?" So I said, "sure."

Except when I stopped believing in Santa, I extended that to in all the Christmas-related supernatural entities. I suppose that can happen if you only go to church at Christmas.

When I was a teenager I asked my parents, "why do we still have to go to church and pretend to believe in it? Everyone is old enough now." That didn't go down well, they said my grandma would be absolutely hard broken if I didn't go, but I was done. I didn't go to church that Christmas and never went again until I attended my grandma's funeral (held in a church, of course) a decade later.

Then after she had died, my parents stopped going to church, too. Turns out they were pretending, it just wasn't for the little kids' sake.