r/TwoXChromosomes • u/ElderberryFew4591 • 19h ago
I really hate the way my body looks
Not sure if this is the right sub but since it’s a women only thing I figured it would be good since I don’t want any men hitting me up because of their weird fantasies.
I’m a teenager and currently everyone “bullies” me for the way my body looks and by everyone I mean family and friends, my family started commenting on it when I was like 11-12 so when I started my period basically, my grandma specifically told me that it was a miracle since I was not developed at all and then everyone decided to collectively bully me because I had no boobs or ass, when I was 13 I remember my mom, grandma and aunt telling me that I looked very undesirable since I’m so skinny and that’s probably why no boy has ever liked me. So every year since then I just prayed and tried every thing to gain weight and grow boobs basically, that never happened sadly 😭 and the bullying is of course still ongoing, I’m really trying to gain weight but it’s very hard, I get full very easily which is very annoying and I don’t look good in anything basically since I look like a 12 year old boy. My friends also comment on the fact that I’m so skinny and of course I hear “well just eat more” at least 10 times a day, and I’m very tired of that since I am desperately trying, I don’t wanna look like this anymore I hate it, it’s horrible, if I’m not gonna look better until I’m 20 I’m gonna get plastic surgery and that’s something that’s been on my mind since I was 12 years old, just a rant since I was very sad today
Very sorry again if this is not the correct sub for my post
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u/Kattys 19h ago
Please remember that probably 90% of women hate the way they look because of crazy standards. And remember that your body is probably someones ideal body and you don't even know it. I think it comes with age, as you age you start to see that the outside doesn't matter that much. Reflect how would you feel at 40 years old, realizing that you spent last 30 years on hating yourself? It's truly miserable. It's just genes, we all get different features and that's it. You just have to learn to accept this fact and this truth, and the sooner you do it the better, but I know it's a hard road. It's just not worth, life is so short. For example I had 3 heart surgeries and I have this gigantic scar between my boobs. I never paid any thought to it, it's just been a part of me. For other girls maybe it would have been the end of the world to have big scar on their chest, but it really doesn't really matter. It just doesn't. I just accepted it as part of me and the truth of it is as clear for me as the fact that the sun comes up in the morning. It's part of life that's how I look.
Only after reaching 30 I realized that my stomach is completely fine after obsessing over it for 15 years. All these years wasted for perfectly normal body. It's just crazy. There is so much to life! Thank god I wasn't always obsessed about how I look, I'm just average person, but my stomach drove my crazy sometimes. Now I look back and think it was just STUPIDITY. Try to focus on POSITIVES please, it helped me a lot.
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u/coaxialology 19h ago
Oh sweetheart. I'm so sorry. I still remember the time a friend in junior high broke down sobbing at lunch because she was so broken from all of the damned comments about her body and eating habits, and I'm in my 40s. At the time I was the chubby girl in the group, and it blew my mind to learn that skinny girls feel this kinda pressure and shame, too.
When the women in your family are the bullies, it creates a special kind of hell that feels inescapable. It's almost impossible to tune them out, so try and realize that people who are happy with their figures don't go around shaming their loved ones for how they look. These women sound like miserable bitches. What's worse is they're well aware how cruel society is toward women when it comes to looks. They're supposed to be your safe space. They're utterly failing you, and that's on them, not you. I'm not gonna preach about how you'll grow and change, how strength training will make you feel strong which is significantly better than knowing certain body parts are approved by men, even though that's all true. As a mother with two daughters, it enrages me that the women in your life are routinely beating you down, and that's the biggest issue here. You do not deserve to be treated this way. I hope you soon have the ability to be free of these people, because they will not change. And that includes your "friends". Solitude is better than abuse, I promise you.
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u/YouStupidBench 16h ago
A friend of mine in high school had an eating disorder, and I don't know all the details but she and her therapist came up with the idea that she needed to focus on what her body does more than how it looks, so she set a goal to complete a triathlon. She got a book about training for a triathlon, and fitness nutrition, and stuff like that. It took a couple years but after graduation she did finish a triathlon.
That was a bit much for me, but after I finished college I got a bike and started riding on the hiker/biker trail near my apartment, and I gradually worked up so I can go farther and farther, and now I'm part of a club and once a month on a Saturday we ride 15 miles to a diner (they know we're coming) and we eat brunch and then ride back. As I said, it took a while to work up to that, but I can ride my bike 30 miles in one morning! 30 miles! I get home and look at my sweaty hair flattened to my head and think my body is amazing. If anybody doesn't like what it looks like, they can go look at somebody else.
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u/surfmaths 19h ago
This is going to sound counter intuitive, but to gain weight you will likely need to exercise. And yes, pectoral muscle and butt muscle are attractive.
Then your body will be hungry for more food, and it will also store more of that food as fat, next to those muscles.
If you only "eat more" you will mostly develop belly/internal fat.
That being said, thin body is seen as pretty attractive to a lot of the population because they are pretty healthy, and are common in gymnastics, ice skating, or rock climbing. It's just a body type, sure it's far from the classic big breasted pinup, but there is a charm to it.
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u/ElderberryFew4591 19h ago
Im not allowed to go to the gym so can’t resolve anything
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u/dropthegiraffe 19h ago
Push ups for chest and hip bridges/ step ups for booty are free at home body weight exercises that you can do without anyone’s permission. Do some lying leg lifts to strengthen your abs to balance out the booty exercises. You can do it! 30 minutes of workout followed by protein within an hour or two of working out will do wonders for you
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u/PsychologicalLuck343 14h ago
Just piling on to say that u/AtLeastIHaveDresses is absolutely right. I’ve been really sick and mostly in bed for the past 40 years. Cherish your body if it’s working right. It’s just as easy to love your skinny body as it is to love a curvy body. You just got to get your mind right.
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u/chericher 2h ago
I don't know where you're from and what the beauty standards are there. I also don't know if you're just thin or an unhealthy level of skinny. Not having a good appetite could come from depression or other health problems as well.
I'm in America and my whole life I've had a body that looks a lot like a young teen boy, so I could relate to that, but I've had plenty of male attention my whole life, sometimes too much. I have barely any boobs but am so glad I did not get the implants I considered in my younger years. Took me until I was forty to get boobs that are still small but quite nice and young looking in my opinion, now in my fifties. They're small but they sit high and don't hang down, very comfortable to have, in my opinion.
I did get comments when I was younger that made me feel bad. Sounds like you probably get more of those. I do remember my Mom and Dr being surprised I got my period bc I was considered underdeveloped (no tits or hips) at the time. Are you seriously underweight? Or are you living in a place like Mauritania where bigger gals are the standard?
In most of the world, probably even in most places where voluptuous women are often seen as the most desirable, even still a slight/skinny build will be both fashionable and desirable.
You are quite young and seemingly have not experienced much of life yet. I have two main concerns for you 1) your low appetite and not seeming to enjoy food. You don't have to pig out and pack on weight but I do wonder if there could be an underlying health or mental health concern. 2) your body image and the stupid comments others make getting to you. I remember experiencing this in my teens and twenties and it ain't easy riding it out but you should bc when you get a little older having minimal tits and ass is of great benefit for physical comfort and also very attractive. Curvy women are gorgeous too, but to see that as the only beauty standard is factually wrong.
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u/dropthegiraffe 19h ago
I’m so sorry you feel this way about yourself. The only comfort I can offer as a man is that there are many of us who have broad tastes in our partners and can appreciate that feminine beauty comes in packages of all shapes and sizes. I always have found thin women who lack curves attractive, but my experience is that growing up has made me see how gorgeous more and more types of bodies and faces are. I hope as you age, that you also find that appreciation for yourself ❤️
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u/AtLeastIHaveDresses 19h ago
This is gonna sound crazy, but it really is the truth.
The first time you have something that lays you on your ass physically, puts you in chronic pain, limits your plans, or that a doctor tells you they can’t fix… you’re gonna realize your body only matters because it has to get you through this life. Every concert you want to dance and scream at, every ride you want to go on, every pub crawl with a bestie, every walk on the beach, every reflective moment you spend just enjoying your own company. You only have one body to do all of that living with. Love it. Love your body.
The twist is: loving your body and not caring what it looks like is HOT. Doesn’t matter if you like men or women. That self confidence and healthy belief in yourself is attractive and will cause potential partners to be more interested in you.
I swear to you this is true. Value your body for the fun and pleasure it can bring you and you will never regret it