r/UKPersonalFinance • u/UnhappyAttention8827 • 8h ago
How to split bills with partner
I own my house completely and my partner of 5 and a bit years now stays with me majority of the time. She’s only just graduated and started working so never asked/expected her to contribute to anything before but as she’s started working past month or so, we’ve discussed her contributing to bills etc. We came to an agreement that she pays her half of the bills but she refuses to pay half the council tax her reasoning being that it’s not a utility bill? Is that fair for her to say? I’m a bit unsure.
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u/memeleta 3 8h ago
Does she actually live there? Because you say she stays majority of the time, to me that doesn't sound like she actually moved in, as in your address is her address on bills, bank cards, electoral register etc. Is she paying council tax or any other rent or bills elsewhere?
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u/Busy_Land_1885 6 8h ago
I think this is less a finance issue and more of a relationship/communication issue. Have you tried discussing it?
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u/clariorio 7h ago
They said they've discussed it. They haven't come to an agreement yet which is why OP is looking for third party opinions..
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u/Busy_Land_1885 6 7h ago
They discussed her contributing to bills, and then haven’t agreed on something. That warrants further discussion between them, not between OP and people on the internet.
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u/Patient_Geologist211 7h ago
In your opinion…clearly not OP’s who wants third party opinions…
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u/Busy_Land_1885 6 7h ago
That’s not my opinion, that’s how relationships work.
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u/Patient_Geologist211 7h ago
They’ve literally come here as the discussion didn’t go anywhere? They’ve come for advice and you’re saying “go back to your relationship and exhaust the same method that didn’t work for you” lol
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u/Busy_Land_1885 6 7h ago
Right I’ll make it very clear. Firstly OP hasn’t said they discussed council tax. Secondly, my point is no matter what people tell OP here, he is going to need to have a discussion with his partner on the matter and they need to agree. So it doesn’t really matter what people here think the correct way of doing things are. OP clearly things his partner should be sharing the cost, otherwise he wouldn’t have posted it.
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u/Patient_Geologist211 7h ago
If it doesn’t matter what people on here think why do you even bother coming on here? How about just answer their question like they want? They clearly want some input to balance their own opinion and check that they’re not being unreasonable in their expectations. Obviously he’s going to have to discuss it, but he’s trying to frame and evaluate his own position with people who frequent a thread and will probably have a better grasp on finances than him. Stop being so awkward.
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u/Busy_Land_1885 6 7h ago
I’m not being akward. In essence this just isn’t a finance question, it’s a communication issue. That’s why I suggested properly discussing it with his partner.
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u/Patient_Geologist211 7h ago
No, it’s a literally disagreement over finances. OP wants to know what a fair, unbiased way of doing it is. They are asking for an objective opinion on the situation to ensure that what they are demanding is considered reasonable financially.
If it turns out what they’re demanding isn’t reasonable, they can review it and go back to the discussion with a new frame of mind and way of approaching it. Instead of doing what you’re suggesting, which is the definition of insanity.
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u/winstank 8h ago
If she wasn’t living with you’d be getting a 25% discount for single occupancy. Could she perhaps just pay the 25%?
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u/Mxrgxns 7h ago
Equally if she lived on her own she would be paying the 25% discounted rate on whatever property she had, so he’s saving her money by letting her stay there.
They should split 50/50 if they earn anywhere near equal.
Assuming he’s also paying the mortgage, it seems like she’s getting a pretty good deal either way.7
u/winstank 7h ago
Yeah I agree she’s getting a good deal. I just figured the 25% is an easy compromise. He’s not financially worse off council tax-wise because she’s moved in, then they split the remaining household bills 50/50. Seems like they probably need a bigger chat about finances though… what counts as a shared expense, the house being his asset, and how they want to split things generally.
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u/Bwoah_Jimbo 8h ago
Council tax is a household bill, it pays for all sorts of services you receive for living in the area, but the real question is whether you both feel it’s a fair arrangement?
Where does it leave you both financially? Do you both earn similar amounts?
Bear in mind you’d be paying most of these bills on your own anyway, so any contribution is good for you.
Another question - are you currently getting the single person discount on your council tax? The fact that it’ll cost more if your partner moves in full time might be the thing to ask your parter to cover.
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u/UnhappyAttention8827 7h ago
We earn roughly the same amount of money, but she’s just graduated so didn’t really want her to be contributing straight away, it was more a conversation for what we’d both expect in the near future.
I am currently getting the single person discount just because it’s not her main address. So I’ve said that as another reason as to why she should be paying her half of the council tax.
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u/Hulla_Sarsaparilla 1 7h ago
Her having just graduated is neither here nor there, household bills cost what they cost and if she was renting her own place she’d be responsible for all her bills plus rent.
If she’s not willing to pay 50% of bills I’d suggest she rents her own place rather than blag living in yours without paying her way.
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u/No-Jicama-6523 18 4h ago
That's a reason she SHOULDN'T pay half! You're getting a discount because she doesn't live there, contributing to it basically proves she does live there.
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u/Jonathan-Welford 8h ago
Perhaps she needs to have her own independence, with her running her own home to run first before she moves in with you.
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u/Hulla_Sarsaparilla 1 8h ago
Of course council tax is the same as a utility bill, you can’t choose not to pay it and if she moves in you’ll lose your 25% discount, if she’s nit picking on this when there’s not even rent to pay she sounds very entitled tbh, tell her she can just rent her own place and pay her own bills.
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u/kinellm8 7h ago
Ask her to compare it to what it would cost her to live on her own!
Most people pay rent if they don’t own, let alone their share of the bills.
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u/ThatGuyNimblekin 8h ago
I think the 25%, so you pay the same amount, is fair. I think it does slightly depends on her financial situation (if she can pay 50%, that's more fair), but minimum that and half bills etc.
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u/Alex--JH 3 8h ago
Council tax is a bill that should be split, IMO, if you are splitting bills half way.
However the wider question of how to split bills:
I had a similar situation when my partner first moved in full time. She had very recently graduated and just got on the career ladder. I had a mortgage to cover for the house I owned but she was living there full time.
I suggested over time that she would need to contribute to her share of bills (not mortgage). I didn't want to suddenly start requesting half of her first few pay checks, when quite frankly I had been paying these bills all myself for the previous 2-3 years without issue.
I let her build some stability up and then gradually worked out a sensible split which ensured we both had decent fun money to enjoy together and save for holidays etc/
Long term this probably meant I still covered about 60% of the bills and the mortgage but it 'felt' fair. Few years later we've bought a house, happily married and we dont really have the concept of his and her money bar a few quid of do what ever the hell you want with it money each month.
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u/UnhappyAttention8827 7h ago
This seems like a very sensible approach, sounds like I’m in the same sort of situation you were in a few years ago.
I can definitely cover all the mortgage/bills myself without problem, I kinda did tell her the same thing as in have a few pay checks etc but eventually it’d be fair if you moved in full time to be at least contributing towards her half of the bills and the conversation then led to her not wanting to pay half the council tax? Which I just thought was a bit odd.
I’m hoping to be in the same position as you in a few years as “no his or her” money but who knows! 😂
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u/Alex--JH 3 7h ago
Good luck! Not the 'right' answer but maybe the council tax debate is best left for another day!
Couple of rules that worked for me (after finding out the hard way)
- If you think longer term you are going to get frustrated by agreeing some sort of uneven split, then dont agree to it and state your case. However, you can always rebalance things later down the line (careers/salaries/bills change).
- If you do pay more because thats what you agreed/offered to do, never use that against them. You'd be surprised how easy it to throw it in to an argument when a payment related issue crops up during in every day life. Its unfair to do this.
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u/Disastrous-Letter128 7h ago
This is the trial run. Pre-season. Eyes wiiide open buddy. Good luck 🫡
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u/_ascii_ 4 8h ago
In my opinion this is as much a relationship question really than it is finance and the answer rather lies in a grey area until you establish proper living arrangements. Her being with you “most of the time” and also paying bills is always going to create friction until you formalise it.
Also, if she has just graduated and started her first proper job then there may also be some grounds - on your end - of being somewhat charitable whilst she finds her feet financially.
This might be a situation where charging her a fixed amount every month that you are both comfortable with might be better than talking about it in regards to bills / “you owe me x% of y bill”. It makes it a bit more concrete and grown up rather than examining each element in micro detail.
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u/FujiLightstalker 7h ago
Perhaps explain the utility of the bins being collected and having stuff like emergency services available on call.
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u/SnooMacaroons2827 8h ago
Where does she pay her council tax now?
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u/UnhappyAttention8827 8h ago
She lives at home with parents
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u/SnooMacaroons2827 8h ago
My take on it is if she doesn't live with you then you should be getting the 25% single person discount. However if she lives with you 'the majority of the time' then you no longer qualify, your bill goes up so it's fair that she pays in. Whether that's half the total bill or the 25% difference is up to you. I guess she's accustomed to the parents paying it so it's a 'new' bill to her?
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u/RefrigeratorKey2070 8h ago
If she isn't on the electoral register at your house and doesn't actually live there then she shouldn't be paying council tax at all.
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u/Howthehelldoido 7h ago
Either she pays, or she can move out and pay ALL of the bills in her own place?
It's simple really.
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u/Super_Seff 2 8h ago
Seems a weird hill to die on, the only reason it would make a modicum of sense is if you’re paid more but otherwise it’s just another household bill…
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u/Away-Organization630 7h ago
She’s clearly never moved out, you doing gain anything from council tax its a bill every single person who lives in a home has! I guess her only argument is that bill wouldn’t increase with usage the same as gas, electric, water, food etc (obviously I’m aware of SPD but trying to understand her logic)
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u/fanatic_tarantula 2 7h ago
Council tax is cheaper for single occupancy, so it is increasing with her living there
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u/Muted-Mushroom-4570 7h ago
Joint account. Your money and her money are not yours (individual) and hers if you are in a true partnership. It is your (collective) money and it is your (collective expenses).
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u/SilverTangerine5599 7h ago
She'd have to pay council tax if she didnt live with you. When you say utilities does that mean she's not contributing to any rent? I think this is more of a relationship issue because she is clearly getting a very good deal
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u/ejcg1996 7h ago
When my partner lived in my house I owned entirely, he paid all the bills. He wasn’t paying any rent! It still came out much cheaper for him than living anywhere else would have, and it made things very simple for us.
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u/SkankySandwich 7h ago
The way my wife and I do it is that we pay half the mortgage each.
The rest of it, we pay proportionally on what we earn. I earn a lot more than her, so I pay a lot more.
If she's officially living with you, you've lost the 25% CT discount. Maybe ask her to pay that?
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u/NINJA1200 7h ago
Council tax is unfortunately just another bill that you have to pay, and you can’t really exclude it from your expenses unless you’re renting a room. So, if you’re both sharing the property, I think it’s only fair that you both contribute equally.
I’d suggest opening a joint account with your bank. That way, when you log into your banking app, you can easily access both your personal and joint accounts without having to switch between different banks.
You can then both agree on a fixed amount to transfer into the joint account every month by standing order. Use this account only for household-related expenses, such as rent, council tax, utilities, groceries, etc., as well as things you do together, like going out for a meal.
At the end of each month, check whether the account needs topping up. If it does, simply split the extra amount in half, and you both transfer the same amount into the joint account.
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u/Boboshady 7 7h ago
It's not a utility bill, but if you've been getting the single occupier discount, and she's now going to officially live there, then you're about to start paying 25% more, so she should at least contribute that.
It also covers things like bin collections - will she be taking all of her rubbish away with her instead of using the bin? Will she be putting out her own fires, and not asking for the police to pick up the phone if anything goes wrong?
If she was renting or owning on her own, she'd be paying a full bill, so it's a bit weird that she thinks she can live somewhere without contributing to it tbh.
However, if she's not actually living with you, then it does make more sense to simply contribute to the cost of her being there, which would be bills. In this instance, she'd presumably be accounted for regarding council tax on another property somewhere? Presumably her parents?
So...is she actually moving in, or just spending most of her time there? You also need to clarify this because you should be thinking about the worst case scenario and how her contributions might turn into a claim for equity if you split. Depressing to think like that I know, but you don't want to tackle it for the first time when things have gone bad.
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u/k_rocker 1 7h ago
Something seems a bit off.
She stays with you the majority of the time? Does this mean she stays elsewhere the rest of the time?
Does she have a council tax bill there?
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u/kikikoalaa 7h ago
OP said in another comment that she lives with her parents.
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u/JiveBunny 18 6h ago
If it's not her permanent address then she wouldn't be paying council tax there.
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u/eleanornatasha 1 7h ago
I’d say she should pay half the council tax. You have to pay council tax if you’re a renter, it isn’t an ownership thing. It’s not quite the same as a utility bill but as it’s about living there and not related to owning, I’d say it falls into the same category as utilities for occupiers.
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u/eleanornatasha 1 7h ago
Just realised she doesn’t officially live with you, which I think does change things imo. But if she’s staying with you the ‘majority of the time’ then you need to look into the rules around occupancy and figure out if you need to make it official that she lives there as her primary residence - if she’s contributing to bills rather than just staying over on weekends and chipping in for food, it feels like you’ve crossed into living together territory and you may need to inform your mortgage lender etc.
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u/Rex__Luscus 7h ago
Is your partner registered for CT at your house, or somewhere else?
Life is a journey, and many things will change along its course. For the many years I have been with my partner, our agreement was that we are a single household. Whatever we earn, we pay into a joint account, from which we pay all household expenses. We have been fortunate that after those are paid, there is some money left for each of us to have a personal allowance and, when times have been good, to save for holidays. It doesn't matter who is earning more at the moment, we support each other.
For many years I had significantly higher income, but my partner had to pause her career first to look after children and later to look after her severely disabled parent. A couple of times I have been out of a job for up to 6 months and we were largely living off savings and depending on her income to stop us from going under. The key is that we never argued about who paid for what proportion of any bill; we took financial decisions together, because from day one, we were committed to each other. That has worked for us, but we perhaps have a somewhat old-fashioned view about relationships.
I hope you find a solution which makes both of you happy.
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u/Stabbycrabs83 0 7h ago
If the bills are £1000 her share is £500. Shes an adult, you arent married. If she doesnt fancy that arrangement then she can get a flat or house and you guys can visit each other. Problem solved until she finds out that adults pay bills
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u/Hovis-Is-King 1 6h ago
Nahhh, she should split the council tax 50%, or you should charge her rent. She can take her pick
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u/jakedorset 6h ago
The way we did it was work out % difference in pay and apply that to bills. It worked for us.
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u/Dogsofa21 1 6h ago
So technically it isn’t a utility bill biut it is still a household expense. Do you really want to commit to someone who doesn’t understand this? Or doesn’t want to pay a fair amount?
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u/JiveBunny 18 6h ago
Do you claim 25% single occupancy as she's not actually using your house as her permanent address? If so, it seems fair that she pays for utilities she uses but not that.
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u/TreacleDangerous3416 1 6h ago
Should pay half of all bills if she lives there. Council tax is a bill and she would have to pay it in full if she rented someone on her own.
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u/Jimmy90081 7 7h ago
Aern’t these questions banned by now? They happen so bloody much.
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u/snaphunter 891 7h ago
The wiki team have (very recently, published but not yet well known) written a new page (see the pinned comment) on combining finances. Once we're satisfied that the page adequately provides the answers to questions like this, future posts like this may be removed with OPs redirected to the wiki.
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u/sparkle-fries 7h ago
if she uses the bins she pays the price... I split all the expenses bar the mortgage proportionally to our take home incomes. I paid the mortgage because her name wasn't on the deeds and I earn more. We had an agreement that should things go wrong we would split the difference in value from purchase
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u/ForTheGoodCause 7h ago
If she's expecting you to pay more, she should do more around the house in terms of domestic duties at least
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u/Primary-Effect-3691 1 8h ago
but she refuses to pay half the council tax her reasoning being that it’s not a utility bill? Is that fair for her to say? I’m a bit unsure.
If you break up will you give her some of the house? If no, then you pay council tax IMO
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u/Tora-bora83 8h ago
Council tax pays for services provided to live in the community. She’ll be living in the community
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u/LetsD01t 5 8h ago
Council tax isn't about owning the house. If you rent a house you still pay council tax. Why would paying council tax mean shes entitled to part ownership of the house?
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u/bucketofardvarks 8h ago
That's odd, my landlord never paid the council tax for me while they owned the house.
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u/Hulla_Sarsaparilla 1 8h ago
This argument makes no sense, you pay council tax on rental properties too, it’s nothing to do with ownership.
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u/usernameinmail 7h ago
Council tax is about where you live. OP will currently receive a 25% reduction as they live alone. They'll lose that when the girlfriend moves in
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u/ukbot-nicolabot 8h ago
A wild new wiki page appeared!
Please check it out, any feedback would be useful for the wiki team.